... If I live out of town (600 miles) from my boyfriend, & he asks me to come stay with him, what are my financial/household chore/responsibilities?

We need way more details. And even then, there's not really any right or wrong answers, only opinions.

... OH, I know there's no right or wrong answers... just looking for some opinons!. CUZ, I'm a little frustrated/confused as to whether I'm "bending" more than I really should be... (my daughter says YES! )...
I'm currently laid off... I live in NC he lives is OH (where I used to live & my "kids" still live--ages 24 & 21)...
I hate the cold weather... I drive 650-ish miles to see him--stay with him, at is request (insistance... "Baby, I need you to stay with me...I want you...need you!!...don't leave me..."... )
He keeps his heat at 63 degrees!. That WILL NOT work for me... he said if I pay the "difference" in the heating/electric costs, I can have the heat UP... I pay for all of my travel expenses... already buy food/alcohol/soaps, shampoo, T.P. household cleaners/items (I use my own stuff to clean) & other necessities...
Ummm, what else do you want to know?

I'm still confused. Are you living with him? Or staying as in just a short visit? And yes, that makes a huge difference. If you've moved in then you should be helping pay for living expenses. If you're just visiting, he should be more accommodating.

... NOOOO!. Not living with him! Just staying for visits!. I have MY apartment in N. Carolina!. I pay all my expenses there!. I won't be living with anyone for about 3 1/2 years! (spousal support is involved & he knows that!. He knows I will not be "living" with him, for a while! )... &&&, I agree! That does make a huge difference!.

If you are staying with him for say, 1 week then I would be paying for some of the food and helping out with just the little things like vaccuuming and washing the dishes
Like you said it is only a visit, plus he asked you to stay so I wouldn't worry about things like power and water.

Had to spread the rep shaz, but I totally agree.

... Well... I bought the pizza/bottled mojito's ($25.00ish) the othe day--he said we'd call the last heat bill even... Additionally, here's a list of the things I've bought, so far, for & at his house... I think it's pretty extensive... opinions?. Bathroom curtain/rod/hardware... 13.00
t.p.
Bathroom molding(for tub sound)... 10.00
Cleaners.. clor. Clean up... wink rust remover... 7.00-sh
Tissues
Soap
Shampoo
Paper towels
Dawn dish soap
Coffee
Filters
Measuring cups
" spoons
Big serving spoons (slotted, solid, fork)
Knives--sharpener--scissors
Pearing knives
Chissels for wall repairs
Sand paper for wall repairs
Muffin pan
Paper muffin cups
Foil pans...
Silverware... 15.00
Paper plates
Napkins
Cups
Straws
Place mats
Food/snacks
Alcohol
Candles
Non-electric can opener
Hot pads
Screw drivers (4--2 long... 2 short)
Wd-40
Dish sponge

... Shoot!. Forgot food!. Canned, fresh, frozen...

Uh... why are you buying all of these things for HIS house if you don't live there? Is he incapable of taking care of himself?

No wonder he doesn't want you to leave. I think he might be taking you for granted. On the other hand he probably didn't ask you to buy all those things. At any rate, I would stop the spending, and save the money for heat. First figure out what the difference in cost would really be. Ask to see his heat bill. Then look at the windows to see if they could use some plastic on them.
It would be great to at least be comfortable on your visits. He should want you to be comfortable as well. Something to think about...

... See, that's what I'm saying~trying to do "my part" as his "out of town, just visiting, girlfriend"... but, AM I?. I figure if I do "my part" than maybe he'd WANT to keep the place warmer for his girlfriend/lover!. You know, "credit" for expenses I've already incurred... I just don't know!. I do appreciate your input!. Thank!.

(Sorry--didn't see rockie 100's reply)... Um, some things he did ask me to get... I did ask to see the heat bill; which went over like~a fart in church!. "Wow!! Don't you trust me?" he said... I replied, "Hey, if you want to "bottom line' our relationship, I need to see the figures... daddy was an accountant, remember? "... &, we did put plastic over the bedroom & bathroom windows... (it's still like using an OUTHOUSE--bathroom! )... I think he should want me to be comortable, too!. to think about!. Thanks!.

You mentioned you were laid off. Does that mean you're not working right now? If so, you should not be having to waste money on his day to day needs and wants. Next time he asks you to come, "sorry, i just can't afford it. there's the travel expenses. and then i have to make up for your utilities. it's just adding up too much." see what tune he's singing then.

I may be misinterpreting the situation, but this guy seems like a tool. He is making you drive 650 miles to come see him, and expecting you to pay for half of his living items while you are there? That's absurd, and I would never make a woman that was a guest in my home do that.

Drop this guy, sorry its harsh, but this guy is rubbing me the wrong way

Please don't see this guy again, he is bad news... he can't afford to accommadate you by turning up the heat for a week? In the meantime you are driving 650 miles to see him(there and back that's a couple hundred bucks already)

I kind of want to punch this guy... dont waste anymore money

If he is asking you to come visit him at HIS apartment, you are his guest and he should be doing things to make you comfortable. If he doesn't want to turn up the heat, he could give you some extra blankets to cuddle up in. If you'll be living there for a week or so, it's a good idea to buy your own replacement shampoos, toothpaste, and whatnot, and it's not a bad idea to buy yourself some snacks, but you are his guest. If you're paying for all this stuff for his apartment, he is using you for money and stuff! Don't fall for this trick... If you are able to take care of yourself and your own apartment, he should be able to take care of his own as well. Do you want to be the breadwinner of the two of you? Or do you think he should at least meet you halfway?? If he is incapable of meeting you at least halfway don't you think he should put forth some effort and TRY? (don't get me wrong, money isn't everything, but if you're going to be taking care of each other, he needs to prove that he is capable of doing that. Money IS one aspect of a relationship- and a very big cause of divorces these days.) You visiting is just a little dose of what he would be like to live with... BAD NEWS! This guy can't take care of himself, he can't take care of you either. Get out while you can.

... THANK YOU!. ALL!. I DO appreciate your input, so very much!. I knew my daughter already expressed the "...punch..." opinion... which, I appreciated--simply for it's merits!. (chuckles!)... But, she couldn't look at the situation in an objective way, of course!.
Basically, to hear the above (which I have to admit, was the reality pill I was hesitant to swallow) helps me to know it's not just me being cranky or ignorant of TODAY's dating/relationship expectations!.
You all gave me valuable points and I sincerely appreciate all your help!. *smiles*... ~CAM~...

Long distance relationships are never easy to maintain.

You say that you are getting spousal support, and will not live with anyone else for 3 1/2 years, so what is your question here?

Either way, love is based on give and take, not balances, or who is "ahead" in the money column. This guy is obviously either very cheap, or living on a tight budget. I think that he needs the monetary support that you provide. That's why he wants you to come liove with him.

I think that you should find someone who would be willing to share his last dime with you.

That's the way love is.

Also, I noticed that alcohol was high on your expense list. Is there a drinking problem?

I work with a guy that actually charged his girlfriend "rent" for using a dresser drawer.

People who are this tight, or frugal, with money, usually get worse with time.

Gasoline is too high priced for you to be driving 650 miles to see someone who treats you like a room mate.

You are a grown woman.

You know that this behavior is not normal.

Find a guy closer to you that won't be expecting you to always go "Dutch".

Money is quite necessary. But a relationship should not be revolving around it.

... That pretty well sums it up, doesn't it!. &&&, if I had a dime, for every time I said "Jesus, Mary & Joseph", about all of this, we could ALL retire!. Thank You!.