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View Full Version : How to find out how a friend died


kimsmith1980
Dec 9, 2009, 01:24 PM
I recently saw a "in memory of " coloumn of a friend from school. How do I find out when and how he died?

jaime90
Dec 10, 2009, 01:30 PM
You don't want to go prying into obituaries and whatnot. The best, and most honest way to find out is to ask a friend of his, or family member what happened.

trulytrying
Dec 21, 2009, 12:56 PM
You can do "search" online with the name and age of the person, and the county or city where the death occurred and news reports could come up with the details if any were available.
I agree with Jamie09 that you could go and offer your condolences and simply ask what happened. Most people think that folks "don't want to talk about it" when really it is in the forefront of their mind... so you won't be "reminding" them of the death--they KNOW and they think about it.
It would not be rude of you to do that... to go to the home and bring a card or flowers and maybe be prepared to share some stories of happier times with the person... stuff that the family wouldn't necessarily know and perhaps would add to their good memory "files".
I suggest this presuming you are genuinely concerned and not just morbidly curious. If you are the latter--then stick to the Google search for articles.
Best wishes.

DrBill100
Feb 23, 2010, 11:12 AM
Providing you know "where" he died you can determine both the time and cause of death from the bureau of vital statistics. This information is mandated for inclusion on the death certificate.

JudyKayTee
Mar 14, 2010, 08:23 AM
Providing you know "where" he died you can determine both the time and cause of death from the bureau of vital statistics. This information is mandated for inclusion on the death certificate.


This is incorrect in some States, Florida being one of them (unless OP waits 50 years): "A Florida Death Certificate 'With Cause of Death' is confidential by Florida Law and may only be issued as follows:

To the decedent's spouse, parent, child, grandchild, or sibling (if 18 years of age or older).

To any person who provides a "Will" that has been executed pursuant to state statute 732.502; an insurance policy or other document that demonstrates his or her interest in the estate of the decedent;

Or to any person who provides documentation that he or she is acting on behalf of any of the previously mentioned persons.

Fifty (50) years following the date of death, 'Cause of death' becomes public information and anyone may obtain a Death Certificate with this information. Any time period prior to the fifty years, 'cause of death' is considered confidential by Florida law." Ordering Death Certificates (http://www.doh.state.fl.us/planning_eval/vital_statistics/deaths.htm)

NY is similar - I was widowed and my husband's death certificate was/is available only to me as next of kin and his children.