Hi,

I am 36 weeks, 3 days pregnant as of today.

My 1st delivery was in the city and my husband was allowed to be with me till the end.The hospital I got to now (small town), or any hospital near by does not allow husband or anyone from the family to be with you during labor. The woman in labor has to stay alone and suffer ALONE without any support and to add to that, the nurses shout at you if you cry. I spoke to many locals here and they shared their story. Now I am scared. I can't take the pain alone. I need support...

Some of my friends and relatives had c-section and they say there is no risk and that its better than normal, while others say normal is a better choice. I am confused.

I spoke to my gyne and she said it is my choice, whether I want a normal delivery or a c-section. She also mentioned that there are risks associated with c-section.

Now I need your help. I would like to know what she meant by the risk (cuz she didn't explain) associated with c-section.
Is it OK to go ahead with c-section? Or vaginal is better?

Get me out of this confusion. My husband has left the decision on me. He said he'l support my decision and I donno what to do. Help me decide.

Sooner I get help, the better because today my gyne said the baby head is partially fixed and since this is my 2nd delivery, I might deliver sooner.

A C-Section is major abdominal surgery and should never be an option. There are some serious risks involved with a c-section, such as bleeding out, other abdominal organs being cut accidentally, etc.

I am so sorry that your country is so backwards that they do not recognize the importance of a support system during labor and delivery, however a c-section should not be an option.

After a c-section, you will not be able to get up and walk for at LEAST 6 hours. And then it will be painful for days afterward.

I am so sorry that your country is so backwards that they do not recognize the importance of a support system during labor and delivery, however a c-section should not be an option.

My country is not backward J_9. Kindly do not say that AGAIN...
I asked for advice and not to blame my country.

My wife had both our kids with a C-section. Two days in the hospital then home recovering a little more (I took time off to help). Both were blocks where she was anesthetized from the waist down but conscious for the birth. It was a good experience for us.

Thank you needkarma,, How long did she take to recover completely? Any complications after delivery?

A C-section should only be done if absolutely necessary. Vaginal birth is always best, if you have that choice.

I can't believe that your doctor would allow you to choose. Obviously the baby is in a good position to deliver vaginally, so why would the doctor even bring up a C-section?

A C-section is major surgery, as J9 already stated. There are so many things that can go wrong, which is why a C-section is usually only performed if there's no other option.

I had both kids vaginally, but then my husband was allowed in the delivery room, as were my friends and other family members.

What do they hope to accomplish by making you labor alone and then yelling at you if you complain of pain?

Here is some more information;

A c-section is also physically damaging. It is a major abdominal surgery. All cesareans involve a wound across the abdomen and the uterus. There is also risk of damage to organs around the uterus, including the possibility of nicking the bowel. Babies can also suffer accidental cuts from cesarean operations.

There is a higher risk of blot clots following a c-section than a vaginal birth. Hysterectomy is more common after cesarean. The risk of maternal death is higher.

The risk of uterine infection is much higher after a c-section than it is after a vaginal birth. There is usually a longer hospital stay for the mother, and she is at a higher risk of being re-admitted to the hospital later for complications.

The severity and length of pain after a cesarean is much greater than after a vaginal birth. You may feel more pain during a vaginal birth than you would during a cesarean. But shortly after birth most of that pain will be gone (unless you receive intervention such as episiotomy). Pain from cesarean surgery continues on into the early weeks and for some women, months.

And

There is a risk of cuts on the body of your baby from cesarean surgery. Babies born by c-section are much more likely to have respiratory problems than babies born by vaginal birth. They are also at much higher risk for developing asthma later in life.

Babies who are born by cesarean section may have a harder time breastfeeding. The first nursing session is almost always delayed and it may be harder for the mother and baby to establish the breastfeeding relationship. This is not an insurmountable problem - however the risk of a baby not being breastfed is much higher for cesarean section than for vaginal birth.

Found here;

Risks of C-Section vs. Vaginal Birth (http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/vaginal-birth.html)

Thank you needkarma,,, How long did she take to recover completely? any complications after delivery?After delivery you can feel tired and nauseous as the anesthesia wears off, so much so that you may not feel like being with the baby for a long time. At home I forget how long it took her to be strong enough to walk without pain (kids are 5 and 9 now), maybe a couple of days extra there as well.
As for the breastfeeding, she did it for about a month but it wasn't easy or pleasant or working well for the child so we switched to formula after that. The good part there is that I was able to be involved so much more. Both kids are very healthy with no allergies.

Thank you Altenweg,

Frankly, I don't know the reason why they do not allow others inside. I hate that too. My 1st delivery was vaginally. Hubby was there to support me. Hence I had no problem. But now I stay with my mom in my hometown. There are several hospitals here but none allow anyone except doctors and nurses inside.

I was told I have a low lying placenta and would need a c-section delivery. That's the main reason I agreed to stay back because if it is a c-section, I won't need any moral support. During my last scan they said the placenta has positioned properly and I will have normal delivery. It's too late to travel now. If I need a GOOD hospital where my hubby is allowed to be with me, I have to travel at least for 10-12 hrs. the route includes twist and turns and very bad roads. I have no option but to stay back.

For me I had all vaginal births... granted they were hard,but I got to hold and nurse the baby straight away,and in recent years you can go home straight away all going well.

Childbirth can be scary,and it does hurt,and that fact that you can't have someone with you does suck,but,once its over its over... with a c section you have to look after the wound for a few weeks, and sometimes it's a few hours before you can hold the baby,which also sucks..

Arm yourself with lots of knowledge.

Don't forget,your vagina has a natural purpose (child birth),and your body is naturally equipped to deal with child birth.

Is your husband allowed to come in right after the baby is born?

How about laboring at home and only going to the hospital when your contractions are around 5 minutes apart. Is the hospital close by?

If you labor at home then you can have the support of your husband for as long as possible, then go to the hospital to deliver.

I know it won't be easy, but I really think that a vaginal birth, if that's an option, is far better then getting a C-section.

Have you considered a home birth? Is that something that is an option in your town? I know that here in Canada you have to get a clean bill of health from your doctor, an ultrasound showing that the baby is in position and they don't foresee any complications. Then you hire a midwife, order a birthing package and have the baby at home.

I don't know if I could do it, but if my husband wasn't allowed into the delivery room then I would definitely be looking into it.

Thank you Altenweg,

Frankly, I don't know the real reason why they do not allow others inside. Family is not allowed during consultation too :eek: .I hate that. My 1st delivery was vaginally. Hubby was there to support me (different hospital). Hence I had no problem. But now I stay with my mom in my hometown. There are several hospitals here but none allow anyone except doctors and nurses inside.

Half of the hospital is filled with Post Graduate interns (75% of them from U.S.. M not kidding). That is the main reason I guess the doctors do not allow family, too many people inside. I am just guessing. I'd rather not have any interns look after my delivery. M not an item for experiments. Interns do not perform c-section. That's why I was thinking of c-section rather than normal.

Previously, about 2 months back, I was told I have a low lying placenta and would need a c-section delivery. That's the main reason I agreed to stay back because if it is a c-section, I won't need any moral support. During my last scan they said the placenta has positioned properly and I will have normal delivery. It's too late to travel now. If I need a GOOD hospital where my hubby is allowed to be with me, I have to travel at least for 10-12 hrs. the route includes twist and turns and very bad roads. I have no option but to stay back :mad: .

Thank you redhead. I know how hard vaginal birth is. This is my 2nd pregnancy. Since I had hubby's support in the 1st, I got through it, now I donno what m going to do.



Is your husband allowed to come in right after the baby is born?

How about laboring at home and only going to the hospital when your contractions are around 5 minutes apart. Is the hospital close by?

If you labor at home then you can have the support of your husband for as long as possible, then go to the hospital to deliver.

I know it won't be easy, but I really think that a vaginal birth, if that's an option, is far better then getting a C-section.

Have you considered a home birth? Is that something that is an option in your town? I know that here in Canada you have to get a clean bill of health from your doctor, an ultrasound showing that the baby is in position and they don't foresee any complications. Then you hire a midwife, order a birthing package and have the baby at home.

I don't know if I could do it, but if my husband wasn't allowed into the delivery room then I would definitely be looking into it.

No, husband is not allowed inside even after birth. He has to wait outside until the baby is cleaned and then they show him the baby.

There is no way I can stay at home during labor. The hospital is about 15 kms and roads are bad (actually there are no roads, only potholes,, been under maintenance but nothing has been done yet). Also, if I go into labor at night, I can't wait at home since the doctors need to be called during delivery. The PG interns stay at night.

Home delivery is not an option. It was before, but not now. Also, the midwife I am speaking about here do not have any medical certificates. They use old methods for delivery and also post delivery. Their methods are actually considered harmful since they don't know as to how the baby is positioned, how long along I have dilated, any complications etc.

All of the risks of a C-section have already been pointed out to you,so I won't rehash that.

I would only add that given the way you have explained that women are reprimanded for expressing the pain of childbirth,it would make me question how willing they would be to see to your comfort after a C-section.

There is considerable discomfort post -op as this is a major surgical procedure.

I question how much pain post -op they would expect you to tolerate.
Will they have adequate pain medication available to you ?

I have previously had major uterine surgery akin to a C-section and I have had two vaginal deliveries.I ,personally would opt for the pain of childbirth over the surgery in terms of discomfort and healing time.

If you are not already familiar with the benefits of proper breathing during labor,it is never too late to become acquainted with it.It does truly help to facilitate a faster and easier birth.

Many Good wishes to you and your family !

Thank you Artlady.

I have not yet decided about the delivery. I am weighing the pros and cons.

Indeed c-section might (I donno yet) be hurtful, post operation. But at least I will be with my family and will get their support, unlike during labor.

Also, I liked the idea altenweg gave, i.e. laboring at home and only going to the hospital when the contractions are around 5 minutes apart. Since the hospital is not nearby and the roads are bad, I am thinking of other options. I have my aunt staying near hospital. I am planning to shift there after I complete 38weeks. I hate to go there. She is a pain in the . But for my own good, I better think of this option. I need to discuss with my husband and then decide.

I was wondering why EVERYONE who has had a c-section say that it is nothing to worry about and that they recovered soon without any problem..
Can anyone who has had a c-section give me your opinion..

During my last visit, I had a scan and the doctor said my body is well prepared for normal delivery. Since this is my 2nd delivery, I might deliver sooner and it will be easier than the 1st. Is it true? if so, how?

My hubby and I decided that we will wait till 30th Dec to deliver normally (i.e. for contractions to occur) since my due date is 5th Jan. if not, then I will be admitted on 30th and get a c-section on 31st. (planned operations done only on Tue and Thu)

I am feeling scared, excited and I don't know what else. All feelings at once..!

I can understand your excitement! There is no greater joy!
I think much of the reason a second birth is easier is that one knows what to expect and the labor is not usually as long.
When you are feeling up to it,we would love to have an update and you can tell us all about your new baby! :)
Many Blessings to all of you !

Thank you Artlady,, I'l update as soon as possible...

The first baby is usually the hardest and longest labor. Your second one should be a lot easier and faster as a rule. I would rather have a few hours of pain than have weeks or months of pain from a major operation not to mention stitches that can burst and an ugly scar as well on my stomach to contend with.

I am just curious. What country are you in that does not allow hubbies with their wives during labor and delivery?

I have to ask what country you live in, since obviously it is not the US or Canada where it is common place to have either a family member or birthing coach with you. Even for a C section a family member can be there.
** not that I want to be in another

I have to ask what country you live in, since obviously it is not the US or Canada where it is common place to have either a family member or birthing coach with you. Even for a C section a family member can be there.
** not that I want to be in another

Chuck, I believe that the OP is in India, but I'm not 100% sure.

Altenweg is right, I am from India. But its not the same in all hospitals. My 1st delivery, my hubby was with me throughout... right until I delivered. Now I am with my mom in a small town. Here they do not allow any family members. Yesterday, during my check up. I was sent to the head gyne. I asked her to allow my hubby or my mom at least during the labor and not during delivery. She denied and gave me a big lecture for 15 minutes, telling me that its all western culture that we youngsters are bringing into India and that we youngsters are not doing right by adopting western culture and all such nonsense. She is 50+, and the head of OBG, such an educated/experienced lady speaking such ****.
My hubby joined the conversation and asked her why such a rule since family help you relax during the pain. She gave no good reason. Yet again she lectured for a looooooong time, this time saying how foreigners come to that hospital and appreciate the management and their rules.
I can bet on it, except for the idiots staying near that hospital, none other will ever say that the management is good. I vote it one of the worst hospitals I have ever seen.
No appointments, no sufficient staff, no cleanliness, no proper ventilation, no doc-patient confidentiality (except for foreign patients), excess patients in OPD-no seating arrangement,, I can go on and on,, I want to run away from here. I will NEVER again come here for any problem. I'd rather suffer than go to such hospital.

Now I really prefer c-section (thought we decided to wait for normal until the last date). The head OBG herself told me that the nurse and docs shout at the patient if they shout or cry with pain during labor. What do they expect from the woman in pain? Laugh? She said they shout because the patients get scared and do not shout/cry. Let her try that on me... I'm sure I'l shout back at her. I'm not the kind of person who gets scared if shouted at.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhh! M excited,, time's up.. getting admitted tomorrow for delivery... wish me luck..

Good luck darlin. I truly wish you the best.

I only wish you could have your baby with me as your nurse. I would let you have as many family members as you like and I would let you scream as loud as you want... until I gave to the medicine to take all your pain away so that you could truly enjoy a pain free labor.

Please keep us posted on how it goes.

@ J_9, Thank You,,


ITS A GIRL.................!!!!!!!!!!!

Had a C-section,, everything went smoothly,, baby weighed 2960gms at birth... looks a lot like her dad and I am glad,, her dad is very excited,, he wanted a girl and so did I.

Thank you all for your wishes and blessings. Love you all.

Congrats!! I'm sure you're happy that it's finally over!

Congrats. That's wonderful news. :)

Thank You..!

Excellent news! I'm delighted for you both..

Have you decided on a name for her?

Glad to hear it went well... rest and enjoy!

Congratulations, Silver Lining. :)

I am very glad that everything went well.

Thanks Guys...

Her name is Saanvi- it means one who leads and also it is a Goddess name.

Attached her foto... :)

Oh my,what a beauty!

Thank You..

Absolutely BEAUTIFUL!! Congratulations again!

Thank You J_9

You must be very proud! And you have EVERY right to be!

SilverLining, she is so adorable. :)

I hope you and the rest of the family are doing as well as she appears to be doing.

I am indeed proud of her :),, she is so much like her dad in her looks and like me by character,, very demanding,, she makes sure she gets what she wants,, minority rules when there is a baby at home...

Thank You Cat1864...

I am indeed proud of her :) ,,, she is so much like her dad in her looks and like me by character,,, very demanding,,, she makes sure she gets what she wants,,, minority rules when there is a baby at home...

Your welcome.

It is amazing how much the smallest person can run an entire household. :)

Your welcome.

It is amazing how much the smallest person can run an entire household. :)

Oh yes it is,, she decides what time WE sleep, what time I eat, when to take bath and also when to pee,, :D