Hey I'm 21 m from australia
Ever since I was like 12 I've been sexually active towards other guys I've had sex with girls but I don't like it.. it doesn't satisfy me at all..
But I want the straight life wife,kids,house and it all but I just can't do it.
All my friends are homophobics and hate gays but they accept me... im 99 percent sure I'm gay well I've been with a lot of guys and only about 6 girls...
I never fantisise about woman only guys...
And I've only recently told my parents and they have never brought it up since I told them

First I challenge the term homophobic, no one is scared of gays or homosexual. Many people because of morality values, don't believe it is a proper life style, but they are not scared of them. And I don't beleve hardly anyone actually hates gays, they merely don't want that life style to invade their world.

But even people who don't like the homosexual lifestyle as a valid choice, will still like on a one to one basis a friend who is that way. I would say if you told your friends they would all say of course you are, we all knew it.

And if you don't like girls why would you WANT a wife and kids and a house. ( and at least in the US gays are allowed to own houses and adopt kids)

I personally don't agree with the life style but I also believe you have to be who you are for the right reasons. One you don't ruin the life of some lady getting into a marriage you don't really want.

And it appears you are already sexually active with guys ( the a lot of guys worry me) since even in the gay lifestyle it is not a free for all party of sex but still the desire for long term relationships with a person you care about.

And you may lose a friend or two, but I bet you really won't

Hi there,
My question is why do you think you want the straight life with wife, kids, and home? Do you think that because society believes it is still the norm?
I agree with Father Chuck on the having sex with other guys - does not show much restraint on your part and opens you up for way tooooooo many problems sexually with diseases (HIV, genital herpes, STDs, etc). If you have not heard the "rule" - it is not just who you sleep with - but that person's sex life is also brought into the situation (who they have been with, as well as your own sex life). You are not just having sex with one guy - but the last seven he has had sex with and vice versa.
Are you sure your friends are truly homophobic? You said they seem to accept you - have you told them about your orientation? About getting married - it would not be fair to marry a woman to fulfill your idea of a straight life. Unless she knew and agreed. I do know that those arrangements exist - I have a cousin in one such marriage. To each their own.
I would work more on concentrating my own self identity and not so much on the sex partners. You deserve the best so treat yourself the best. Have you been to see a therapist experienced in dealing with sexual matters? Talking through your own situation and hearing it come back to you can lead to some development of insight and acceptance.

Yes, a person reading a lot of my posts would think I was the worlds worst bigot and hater of gay rights ( I am only against gay marriage)

But I do have friends who are gay, I have been invited to gay neighbors homes for BBQ and open houses. I had good friends in high school that was gay.

Most honestly would rather me be honest about what I think and feel than talk about them behind their back like too many accepting people do.

So you are really prejudging your friends ( like you think they will you) by not being open about who you are.

If you want a family find that right person ( who is right for you) and be the family and relationship you feel right for you.
Ok some people are not going to like it, I may even march to stop you from getting married, ( but that is my right to do also)
But no one should stop you from being you.

wannabenormal

You are normal, you're just not straight. Sexual orientation is only part of who and what you are. Gay or straight, there's more to life than sex, so don't worry about it so much.

shygrneyzs,
Under the circumstances mentioned by wannabenormal I agree with you and he does need to see a professional therapist.
His moniker says a lot about why he should see one.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)

Look I like both guys and girls sweet and I am married and my hubby don't care he dose if he don't fell its right to him or me but stay true to who you are and don't change you can still have the wife and kids but mite be you and your hubby you never know your not strange or odd your you and I hope you find what your looking for even if not a she it's a he

lilmizzbi, :) :) :)
After reading and thinking about your post it seems to me that you should go back to school and learn how to write English and also see a professional shrink soon.
Please consider both suggestions as friendly advice.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)

I was brought up to call men like you fruity... sweet but weak... no... do not waste a woman's time... go the direction you are met to go... you know you are... you knew you can't get a woman horny... and stop wasting a woman's time with your need to impress your manly men... I donot like the man show... for it is full of fools... so stop the jumping around... your friends will hate you... Ohhh... find new ones...

LUNAGODDESS, the moonmaid
I fear your journey will be long and fruitless.
LOL

LUNAGODDESS, the moonmaid
I fear your journey will be long and fruitless.
LOL


I notice that I challenge a lot of the old guard on this site... you got an issue with me personally... that is what your response... reads like... fruitless... funny... I did not justify your personal attack... if you do not like my opinion... why don't you explain yours... and then be done with it...

LUNA,

This may give you some insight:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/member-discussions/gay-people-5000-39.html#post202343

lilmizzbi, :) :) :)
After reading and thinking about your post it seems to me that you should go back to school and learn how to write English and also see a professional shrink soon.
Please consider both suggestions as friendly advice.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)
1823
Keep spreading that kindness Fred. :)

hey im 21 m from australia
ever since i was like 12 ive been sexually active towards other guys ive had sex with girls but i dont like it..it dosent satisfy me at all..
but i want the straight life wife,kids,house and it all but i just can't do it.
all my friends are homophobics and hate gays but they accept me ....im 99 percent sure im gay well ive been with alot of guys and only bout 6 girls...
i never fantisise about woman only guys.....
and ive only recently told my parents and they have never brought it up since i told them

You sound so confused, as are many 21 years olds' today, gay or straight. So before you go jumping into something that will effect others so profoundly find out who you really are, and what you really want. I have seen many gay men who deny their sexuality, and marry and make children , then find themselves, and all of a sudden in an effort to be who they really are, reek holy havoc on the ones closest to them, the wife and kids. Know yourself, and at least be honest, and think of others lives as you live your own. To do otherwise is selfish , uncaring, and destructive and most of al cruel.

Be yourself, wannabenormal.

Lead your path yourself rather than others to justify your act.

The world is not just for those normal, straights or homo. It is shared. Sharing that provides and produces love and emotion.

Cheers

hey im 21 m from australia
ever since i was like 12 ive been sexually active towards other guys ive had sex with girls but i dont like it..it dosent satisfy me at all..
but i want the straight life wife,kids,house and it all but i just can't do it.
all my friends are homophobics and hate gays but they accept me ....im 99 percent sure im gay well ive been with alot of guys and only bout 6 girls...
i never fantisise about woman only guys.....
and ive only recently told my parents and they have never brought it up since i told them
Well I'm only 17 and might not know much about it but I just want to tell you that I respect and accept you I dt know you but last year I did a speech about gays and how I thought it was OK and should be excepted by everyone and yea I know that it never will be but it makes me so mad that people get so involved in not likeing gays and protesting on gay marriages I totally believe if you love someone you should be with them no matter what race,sexuality don't matter.. soi give you a lot of credit.. well comment back if you wish

shadyslady313,
TO EACH HIS OWN OPINION!!
But I prefer moral opinions very much unlike yours.

In regard to Arcura,
There is nothing reasoned or moral about discriminating against the many on the purported actions of a few. ;)

shadyslady313,
TO EACH HIS OWN OPINION!!!
But I prefer moral opinions very much unlike yours.Where the hell did that come from??

shadyslady313,
TO EACH HIS OWN OPINION!!!
But I prefer moral opinions very much unlike yours.

It takes a moral person in my opinion to tell how they feel in the face of one so MORAL as yourself, kudos shadylady, what a low cheapshot arcura.

talaniman,
No cheap shot.
If you love God and His word, then the morals he prefers are in the book.
When it comes to homosexually and bestiality God's word says that they are a moral no-no.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)

talaniman,
No cheap shot.
If you love God and His word, then the morals he prefers are in the book.
When it comes to homosexually and bestiality God's word says that they are a moral no-no.
Peace and kindness,
Fred (arcura)

You find Gods word in a book, and I find it through a personal relationship. That was a low cheap shot in my opinion.

My friend married a guy that could not make up his mind about his sexual desires. They got married have a baby boy and he is now cheating with men behind her back and it has caused so much grief. I would suggest that if you do marry- then be done with the homosexual lifestyle. My friend is in terrible pain, her husband never really desired her- she was used as a cover for his "gayness" and now he is confused to divorce or not. Seek a counselor maybe he/she will help you discover what you really want.

Well I'm glad some agree with me and whoever doesn't doesn't its myopinion and its not going to change.. thanx everyone that has stuck up for me when that comment "arcura"made..

shadylady,
I agree with you that few if any will change there opinion about homosexuality.
Some hate gays, but I think most who oppose that life style do not hate them.
Many people think that practicing homosexuality is not OK, as you and some others apparently do.
Bantering back and forth about that may not change much, but it does some good. We get to experience different point of view and I think that is of value
.

If you are so sure you are 99% homosexual be you and do you if you like men then you should just see men don't mess around with girls just to show you are somedody you are not because you are just going to hurt the girls you do this with.

I think you should just tell your friends about your sexuality because if they are really your friends they would not care if you are gay.

I have gay and lesbians friends and they are pretty cool people, so I am sure that if your buddies don't acept you you will find nicer people that will acept you and understand you.

About the marrige thing, I am not the best person to say anything about it because I don't believe that you have to be married to live happy with someone for x amount of years or the rest of your life. I personaly see marage as a piece of paper and a big party.

ER_El_Rey
You gave some good advice about friends in that post.
But,
Marriage is a lot more than a piece of paper and a party.
It's a documented 2 way legal and moral commitment of love, sharing, and caring; and if performed in a religious ceremony it is blessed by God.

arcura I totally agree with you on the marriage piece am just too hard headed to admit it.

But am just too dam young to look at marriage as a very serious and important part of life.

I currently attend college and trust me marriage is the last thing in my mind!

Maybe ten years from now I'll think about marrige as a moral commitment.

We all know that as we get older we change our minds about a lot of things about life.

You Are Normal... being Bi Or Gay Or Tanssexual Doesn't Mean Ur Not Normal.. it Jst Means Your Different From Str8 People Jst As Str8 People Are Different From Gay/bi/transsexuals~~~

Thts All U Need To Knw Before U Question Ur Sexuality And The Fact Of Being Normal..

Fred, I'm so glad to see you after all these years! You are so darling, my man. How can I be mean to you ever again? Can't. I feel like we are old friends, not opponents.

We do disagree about everything, though. :D

OOPS, Fred posted long ago... :D

I was just about to do the same
I was like THERE'S FRED!!
Then it quickly turned into THERE WAS FRED!

Anyway, sounds like you ARE gay but wanting to please others yet want to live out the 'normal' life you were taught to believe in.

LOL! I got to watch the dates; Fred should come back!

Choux,
Gandhi was very right about that.
It is sad the Obama has not and can not fit into that mold.
On top of that comparing his voting record and what he is now saying it is obvious that he can NOT be trusted.
His total days working in congress up till the end of his fight to win enough delegates was just 146. He claims he has experience enough to run this country. That is a big laugh.
That man very much frightens me.

I'm sorry that I have been gone so long.
I forgot my password and for some reason up till now I could not get help about that from Ask Me Help Desk.
They just gave me a NEW password so I'm back, and pleased to be so.
Peace and kindness,
arcura (Fred)

I'm sorry that I have been gone so long.
Hello Fred ! Welcome back here, buddy ! How's the body doing?

:D

hey im 21 m from australia. ever since i was like 12 ive been sexually active towards other guys ive had sex with girls but i dont like it..it dosent satisfy me at all. but i want the straight life wife,kids,house and it all but i just can't do it.
all my friends are homophobics and hate gays but they accept me ....im 99 percent sure im gay well ive been with alot of guys and only bout 6 girls... i never fantisise about woman only guys..... and ive only recently told my parents and they have never brought it up since i told them
But dear "wannabenormal" : you ARE or at least seem to be "normal".
All that differs is your sexual preference. But is that relevant? Not to me, though I am straight as can be.
All you have to do is be a little more realistic : if you have a homosexual preference, accept that wife and kids are not one of your possibilities, or at least not a fair possibility.

So find a guy you like and can love, and develop a permanent relationship.
And replace the unrealistic wish for kids with the possible presence of animals. A dog or cat, or whatever else you appreciate.

You simply can not have it all. Either it is the one scenario, or it is the other. A mixture of the two would always be at the expense of the people involved. Not fair to them!

Success and good luck!

Closed.