mom9626
Dec 6, 2009, 11:54 AM
Kids disowning a parent:Categorize ?
My children three from a 1st marriage and one from my second have stopped speaking to me.
A few years back about four years ago, all of them but one talked to me and we had a good relationship, I always got cards and we did things together when they visited- they are grown. Their ages now are 32, 30, 25, 19 and the baby age 15 still lives with me.
My oldest daughter at the age of 15 went to live with her dad. Ever since she has not talked to me. The living arrangements where of her choice and me agreeing to allow it as I had custody of her at first. At that time I am positive that her dad posioned her against me. He gave her freedoms that a parent would not normally give. Allowed her to live with a man older than she was with out my knowledge at 16, since we did not speak at that time I was not informed until it fell apart. WEll etc etc.
This daughter went on a mission disparaging me to the other children, her siblings 3 full sisters and two half brothers. For years no one bought her stories to turn them against me or understood how she could feel that way. Now all at once they seem to have issues with me, all but the youngest. I can not even think what she has told them. I do not trust her for this- the hurt is unbearable. Why does she continue to try and hurt me, honestly I have done nothing to her!
I have made attempts to reach out and reconnect with her and my other children and their recent alienation. But the only thing that has changed is that my x, number 1- I married at 16 recently paid for my 2nd oldest daughters wedding a year ago. I was invited and at that time had a good relationship I thought with that daughter who got married.
At the wedding apparently the children from that marriage was told not to talk to me, and they didn't. My daughter getting married did speak to me but she was colder than normal to me. This really hurt, I love her and my other girls so much and would do any thing for them, but I did not have the money to help with the wedding at that time.
My 2nd x has done the same thing with my oldest son telling my youngest how it worked so well for the 1st x, that he did it to to hurt me with my oldest son who is 19 now, we too used to be so close.
Can this be a issue of brain washing, money, or even just making them pick sides even years after the divorce?
My second x repeated what he saw during my first divorce that worked on me so well. Alienating me from the girls. The hurt I showed to him as the result gave him ideas. My second x was abusive to me in front of the boys. I married a sweet man who started doing drugs and changed. We separated after 13 years of marriage and he began alienating me from my oldest son, who is now 19 as he saw my first x do with my girls.
My whole life I have lost so much and my children not speaking to me is so surreal.
For the 2nd daughters wedding I bought airline tickets for all my kids to attend the wedding out of state, hoping to bring every one close again, at least the siblings. It was all I could do at the time for money to help out.
What the hell have I done, I have ask and no one can tell me, they just stay mad. It has effected the entire family, my parents who helped me raise them, my siter and the cousins etc, and I just do not know what to do any more. The divorce thing continues I guess. I wish my x;s would get a life.
Your children are met to be your life and soul. You love them, do your best and happens. But not like this, could any one of for seen any thing like this.
In the mean time of being completely shut out by 4 of my children, what can you tell me to do to cope with this mess? It hurts so bad. My son age 15 can not understand it either, we are close but I have noticed it is like hearing his dad talk some times when he gets mad at me. I am scared it will happen again. Every time he goes over there he comes back with a additude towards me.
Help, tell me what to do!
My children three from a 1st marriage and one from my second have stopped speaking to me.
A few years back about four years ago, all of them but one talked to me and we had a good relationship, I always got cards and we did things together when they visited- they are grown. Their ages now are 32, 30, 25, 19 and the baby age 15 still lives with me.
My oldest daughter at the age of 15 went to live with her dad. Ever since she has not talked to me. The living arrangements where of her choice and me agreeing to allow it as I had custody of her at first. At that time I am positive that her dad posioned her against me. He gave her freedoms that a parent would not normally give. Allowed her to live with a man older than she was with out my knowledge at 16, since we did not speak at that time I was not informed until it fell apart. WEll etc etc.
This daughter went on a mission disparaging me to the other children, her siblings 3 full sisters and two half brothers. For years no one bought her stories to turn them against me or understood how she could feel that way. Now all at once they seem to have issues with me, all but the youngest. I can not even think what she has told them. I do not trust her for this- the hurt is unbearable. Why does she continue to try and hurt me, honestly I have done nothing to her!
I have made attempts to reach out and reconnect with her and my other children and their recent alienation. But the only thing that has changed is that my x, number 1- I married at 16 recently paid for my 2nd oldest daughters wedding a year ago. I was invited and at that time had a good relationship I thought with that daughter who got married.
At the wedding apparently the children from that marriage was told not to talk to me, and they didn't. My daughter getting married did speak to me but she was colder than normal to me. This really hurt, I love her and my other girls so much and would do any thing for them, but I did not have the money to help with the wedding at that time.
My 2nd x has done the same thing with my oldest son telling my youngest how it worked so well for the 1st x, that he did it to to hurt me with my oldest son who is 19 now, we too used to be so close.
Can this be a issue of brain washing, money, or even just making them pick sides even years after the divorce?
My second x repeated what he saw during my first divorce that worked on me so well. Alienating me from the girls. The hurt I showed to him as the result gave him ideas. My second x was abusive to me in front of the boys. I married a sweet man who started doing drugs and changed. We separated after 13 years of marriage and he began alienating me from my oldest son, who is now 19 as he saw my first x do with my girls.
My whole life I have lost so much and my children not speaking to me is so surreal.
For the 2nd daughters wedding I bought airline tickets for all my kids to attend the wedding out of state, hoping to bring every one close again, at least the siblings. It was all I could do at the time for money to help out.
What the hell have I done, I have ask and no one can tell me, they just stay mad. It has effected the entire family, my parents who helped me raise them, my siter and the cousins etc, and I just do not know what to do any more. The divorce thing continues I guess. I wish my x;s would get a life.
Your children are met to be your life and soul. You love them, do your best and happens. But not like this, could any one of for seen any thing like this.
In the mean time of being completely shut out by 4 of my children, what can you tell me to do to cope with this mess? It hurts so bad. My son age 15 can not understand it either, we are close but I have noticed it is like hearing his dad talk some times when he gets mad at me. I am scared it will happen again. Every time he goes over there he comes back with a additude towards me.
Help, tell me what to do!