View Full Version : Can't get off the couch and get on with life
9Lives
Dec 6, 2009, 11:19 AM
For some reason I just can't seem to get myself off the couch and get on with life. Im my own boss so I don't have anything making me do anything. I want to work out. I want to start getting on with whatever but my motivation is soooooo low. I just don't know what to do. How can I start? My ex is not coming back and if he did what good would it do?
Fr_Chuck
Dec 6, 2009, 11:30 AM
Well the "ex" coming back, what good?? Well only good if you wanted him back and you both would work on it.
But get up and start, it is often when we break up we for some reason think our lives were either good or bad because of some person.
That is when we know it is bad if we are not happy with who we are all by ourself. We need to be happy with who we are, as we are. And then if we want to make it even better great.
So set a time for certain things and do it
amicon
Dec 6, 2009, 11:40 AM
Are you still hurting from the breakup? You seem a bit low, but exercise will help you feel better. I suggest you start by signing up for one activity and then go come hell or high water. Sometimes it only takes that one first step to get us going again.
Devorameira
Dec 6, 2009, 11:48 AM
Becoming depressed after a break-up is perfectly normal. In fact, only the irrational could be happy after such a devastating blow! Who wouldn’t be sad when the relationship that you have nurtured for so long ends? I am sorry that you have lost someone you loved and the sense of being a couple, but life goes on.
Talking it out is the best way to heal after a breakup. This is the time when you need the support of your friends and your family. Push yourself hard and try to find something new to do - start a new hobby or enroll in a new class. Learning something new can fill up your time and be a great way to also forget what happened. What is more, starting a new hobby can also help you meet new friends and perhaps a new love.
You didn’t say how long it’s been since your break-up, but if you’re still depressed and laying around on the couch after 2-3 months, you might want to consider some professional counseling. Sometimes we all need a little push to get us over the pain and depression. Good luck!
9Lives
Dec 6, 2009, 11:58 AM
Becoming depressed after a break-up is perfectly normal. In fact, only the irrational could be happy after such a devastating blow! Who wouldn’t be sad when the relationship that you have nurtured for so long ends? I am sorry that you have lost someone you loved and the sense of being a couple, but life goes on.
Talking it out is the best way to heal after a breakup. This is the time when you need the support of your friends and your family. Push yourself hard and try to find something new to do - start a new hobby or enroll in a new class. Learning something new can fill up your time and be a great way to also forget what happened. What is more, starting a new hobby can also help you meet new friends and perhaps a new love.
You didn’t say how long it’s been since your break-up, but if you’re still depressed and laying around on the couch after 2-3 months, you might want to consider some professional counseling. Sometimes we all need a little push to get us over the pain and depression. Good luck!
Who wouldn’t be sad when the relationship that you have nurtured for so long ends?
I think you help me understand why I am feeling so low. It makes sense now why I am moving around like I am
Friends are irritating to me right now. They are moving around in life doing regular things with regulars thoughts but my mind is not on the same page. Then they don't understand that you are not over it... it is just a hassle.
Push myself sucks cause I don't have any push in me or else I wouldn't be saying I am stuck on the couch. I am going to start taking baby steps to get things done. I am
amicon
Dec 6, 2009, 12:19 PM
Babysteps are good,it's a start.
Is the breakup something you would like to talk about here?
9Lives
Dec 6, 2009, 12:51 PM
Babysteps are good,its a start.
Is the breakup something you would like to talk about here?
No, I already have. He just doesn't love me anymore and I'm trying to move on before it gets worst for my heart. Baby steps
artlady
Dec 6, 2009, 01:01 PM
After a breakup we are in a state of grief and everyone handles grief differently.You are allowed to have this time and as long as you are not involved in destructive behavior,I would say do what makes you feel better.
If lazing about and being idle for a time is helping you heal,than I would not beat myself up over it.If it becomes a habit that is prolonged and seriously interferes with your life ,than you need to address it more seriously.
For now,pamper yourself,do what ever makes you feel better.
If you are sick,you stay in bed until you feel better.Same applies here,heartache is an illness and it takes time to get well.
Read some good books that you will find inspiring.Eat well and treat yourself to your favorite foods.
Write in a journal or a blog,get your emotions out and it will help you to understand them and put them to rest.
Try to get some fresh air at least once a day by going for a walk.
As has been said,sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other takes a herculean effort so go at your own pace.
We have all been there and there is no quick fix.Give yourself the time you need and one day you will find your life is back on track.
sabrewolfe
Dec 6, 2009, 01:43 PM
A way that I've found to do things when I'm not motivated to do so is just to throw myself into whatever it is I need to do, then you might find yourself getting more motivated after a while. Like that Nikie commercial says, "just do it".
Gemini54
Dec 6, 2009, 05:53 PM
You're feeling depressed and grieving over a broken relationship. Hell, stay on the couch for a while - I would!
Sometimes we just need that 'time out' to collect our thoughts and internally process what has happened. This is normal and natural. In fact, it is a requirement if we want to make sense of what has happened.
What has worked for me in the past has been buying a couple of boxes of tissues, a bunch of sad DVD's and bawling my eyes out for a few days - while sitting on the couch.
Once you feel a bit better, talking to friends really helps as does going out socially, getting a nice haircut and putting on clothes that you feel good in.
Baby steps are good - your motivation will come back - don't be too hard on yourself and see it as a process.
jmjoseph
Dec 6, 2009, 06:35 PM
Why don't you talk a walk? Start with a short one, then build yourself up to longer distances. Pretty soon, you'll have some energy to join a gym, or start riding a bike.
The more you do, the more you CAN do.
Breaking up is hard to do. It takes a lot out of you. But what's the use of giving up?
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go at it again.
This is your life, don't waste it by wasting away.
I wish you the best.