So.. . Today has been a horrible day. I found out from my sister that my mom has been cheating on my step-dad (Well he has been my dad for like 12 years). She didn't even tell me, my sister had to. She didn't want to tell me because she knew I would tell him. I HATE adultery and infidelity. IT SICKENS ME. Anyway, my sister only told me that they had made out. What makes it worse is that the guy is UUUGGGLLLYY! He has huge ears, no hair and his teeth are falling out from doing drugs. He is an alcoholic, too. A fugitive and owes the gov't 30,000. He doesn't even have a license. HE OWNS 2 BICYCLES! He is a complete loser. My step-dad is a good guy, he hasn't worked in a few months but so hasn't half of America. He doesn't do drugs, never has, and he doesn't drink. He really has his head on his shoulders. They have had their fair share of problems (what marriage hasn't?) They have been married for 11 almost 12 years. He had NEVER cheated on her, never laid a hand on her or anything. Very good guy, just has a temper. So I sent him a text message and apologized for the way my mom was acting (she left and came to stay at my house last night). And I told him to just pray about everything and that God will expose what needs to be exposed and that if he just asked for God's help that he would give it to him. No doubt, 3 minutes later he comes bursting though my door asking where my mom is. I pointed to the bathroom, he yells her name and tells her to get in the living room now. He is in tears and is shaking profusely. He goes on a little, well big rant, about a lot of stuff. How much she hurt him and all this stuff. Then he asks her why she did it and she said, 'what are you talking about?' LIKE SHE DOESN'T KNOW! Ha! He tells her that he knows what she did! Turns out she did more than just make out with the guy. The other day she offered to take him to this market up the street to get some beer. . That took 30 minutes, so he know something happened. They pulled over on the side of the road and were making out and he was touching her where only married people should touch each other!! In the car that my step dad bought for my mom!! OMG! I was infuriated. She didn't even shed a tear. Me and my sister were bawling our eyes out (By the way, they have 5 kids, my sister and I from my mom's first marriage and then together they have an 8 year old and twin boys that are 5). I was so disgusted, I couldn't even look at the woman. She is so selfish and irresponsible. I wanted to kill her! Its horrible because my mom was texting the guy while my step-dad, him and my step dad's brother went fishing. . Turns out, my mom was talking about what they did (Its not appropriate to discuss on this site) and my uncle saw all the text messages!! He had to be the one to tell his own brother that his wife was cheating on him. Oh, and the guy has been my step-dad's "best friend" since the 3rd grade. Some best friend he is. My little, little sister was crying and my brothers were crying. It was a mess. Still, my mom didn't shed one darn tear!! How heartless do you have to be?? Seriously. She hasn't worked in 10 years! It is going to be nearly impossible for her to get a job to support herself, let alone any children. My step dad is going to be living in his trailer. My little brothers and sister are staying with their grandma and grandpa and my 16 year old sister is staying with her friend. I live on my own(Thank god) and told my step dad that I would take my 8 year old sister if they needed me to. I don't know where my mom is going to go. And frankly, I really don't care. She promised me she wouldn't smoke anymore (Couple months ago) if I gave her some money to pay for the car insurance, like a fool, I said yes. Later, I find out that she has been smoking for months and using money I have been giving her to buy cigarettes!! I'm 18 years old and live on my own, barely making it but I give her money to help her out and she lies, sneaks and cheats me behind my back! Her own daughter! I feel so betrayed.
And yesterday we just found out that my step-dad has cancer. He doesn't have insurance so he can't get treatment.. . We don't know what we are going to do. This is a tragic mess.

My question is, is it wrong for me to not want my mom staying at my house? Is it wrong that I would rather have her sleep on the street for what she did and how she destroyed our family?
Have any of you out there had to deal with a similar situation? How did you handle it? Do you have any advice on how to deal with this? I'm very emotional and am having a very hard time with this, especially because of my brothers and sisters. I had a very hard life growing up because of my parents getting a divorce (because my mom cheated, big surprise) and now my little brothers and sisters have to go through it. It's not fair to them, but because my mom had to be a selfish, sneaky BRAT they have to suffer.

I just don't know what to do. This situation couldn't get any worse. I don't know what to do, someone please help.. .

Do not do anything. It is your mothers decisions that led up to this. This has nothing to do with you in reality. It has to do with the relationship between her and your step dad, and that marriage relationship.

It seems like you really hate your mom, and there is a lot of info here about things happening, you never know there are three sides to every story.

There is your moms side,
There is your step dads side, and then there is the truth.

We all see things differently depending on how we look at them. We all have different decisions to make in life.

Worry about your decisions. Yes if it helps, and you are able then help with your brothers and sisters.

Other then that. There is nothing really you can do. They have to work things out themselves or not at all. It is up to your mom and your step father, not you.

You may despise what decisions your mother has made in life but no matter what she is your mom. You are angry, hurt and upset. That is very understandable. You worrying about is not going to chage the situation.

Don't take your mother in - this is her life and it was her decision to cheat, she now has to take responsibility. Hell, she can go and live with the guy she cheated with.

My step daughter found out her mom was cheating (with 2 guys no less) because she read the explicit text messages on her phone, so I can understand that you're feeling shocked, angry and very upset. Add to that your step dad's cancer, and well, it's a double whammy.

You have a right to be healthy and happy and if your mother behaves badly, lies, cheats and makes your life miserable, then clearly her living with you is not going to make you happy.

She's a big girl who needs to take responsibility for her actions. Let her deal with her own issues - don't be her rescuer.

Your mother made her bed, and now she has to sleep in it... You should not feel bad turning her away. Yes, she is your mother, but needs to start acting like one to earn the support you have already shared. As for your brothers and sisters they will always remember who was on their side through this mess. So try to do what is in their best intrests.

You are feeling a lot of anger toward your mother, and this is clouding your judgment. While you heap scorn and disgust at her, you are preventing yourself from observing some boundaries here.

While I certainly empathize with you, and all your siblings, for what you are going through, and realize that this situation is very upsetting, you have to try to not jump to major conclusions.

From what I've read, all your information is second hand, starting with what your sister told you. You took it upon yourself to inform your step-father of your suspicions, which in turn resulted in a showdown with your mother, and him.

Texting him that "God will expose what needs to be exposed", is like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey, of course he is going to act on that information.

You really had no business being the 'moral' one, and being a part of how this all went down. You baited your step-father, and you've shown such scorn and disrespect for your mother, that I can't help but wonder if you weren't just waiting for an excuse to hurt her. Maybe I'm wrong, but you sound like you'd be happy if she was sleeping in the street as you said.

If you are wondering what you can do, the only sure bet is to live your life, and let your parents sort this out without your 'help'.

I hope you can see where your actions have contributed to this mess, and that it is better for them, and for you, to back off and not interfere.

How they decide to proceed from here, and what decisions they make, are up to them.