6 Threads merged


I will see my ex soon because we are both in a social circle that will cause us to be in the same room. My feelings are good. I'm no longer interested.

I was crazy in love with him. Was together for almost 4 years. Had a lot of up and downs... dealing with a indecisive and selfish man. He broke up with me twice and told me the last time to see other pepole. He did not want to completely let go. He just did not want to be in a relationship. I changed my number because I did not want him to keep letting me go and then coming back like he always done in the past. I would fall every time cause I love him.

Anyway after a lot of reflecting, getting my emotions back, and just looking at his personality as a whole... I'm okay with the break up. I say that lightly because sometimes it still hurts. I have very good ways to cope. No more crying, and the drama. Im cool

The way I really want to handle seeing him is... not deal with him at all. I don't have anything to say. I don't want to be mean or anything. I just don't want to be bothered anymore. I feel like he did not treat me properly. I had been with him through a lot of hard times and in the end, I was put in a position to accept his terms that were not favorable to nobody but him. I decide if he says something to me, I would just be very very brief. Like Im fine and walk the hell on. I just don't want anything to do with him anymore. Not worth my time.

Any advice or suggestions?

Do exactly that -- don't have anything to do with him any more. He's a stranger. Treat him like you would treat any other stranger.

Your strategy is a good one. No need to be rude, as polite, and brief, is fine. Don't be drawn into any emotional confrontations at all, and do have a great time.

Gosh I love your quote about the priority and option issue.

I put it on one of my que cards. I have que cards I carry around to keep my mind right. I recently broke up and I needed to read logical cards to control emotions. It has been so powerful. When I start to drift, I pull out my cards and they help straighten out my thoughts. I love it. I can't afford to have a lot of emotional break downs. I read them every day and I add to them too. It is so cool. It is like carrying you guys in my purse. I like to call them "Friends in my head" NY term. I just read them then I'm good.

Another thing I thought to say if he ask "How im doing?" I am thinking of saying "Why?"

My thing is you don't really give a f/k so don't try to be friendly now. If you really wanted to know how I was doing you would have made a real effort to see how I was doing. I know he doesn't want to be together but waiting to "see" me in public is not very impressive to me. This is weak and I feel like he always throws me a bone that is convenient for HIM. If he don't go out his way for my friendship, we won't be friends until I AM READY FOR THAT. In the meantime, stay away with your shady, sneaky, selfish, indecisive . :mad: I'm still mad I guess

Take a date, a handomer, well to do bachelor. Don't talk to you are ex but make sure you are are very affectionate with your Date. Whatever it takes to get him to notice you are date beome curious about your new life.

Act as if breraking up with him was the best thing in the world, because you have someone better.

If u don't have a (handsome date at hand) ask a male firend to go with you and pretend to he is very successful (if he is not).

Like say, this is my boyfriend he is Dr/lawyer/accountant/ and we just came back from a vaction in bahamas!

I know if seems like a game. But it will do wonders for your self-esteem. Being alone at this gathering might make you miss your ex.

Besides you want him to know that you are doing better and the thought of getting back together would not even occur to u, ever!

Living well is the best revenge!

Take a date, a handomer, well to do bachelor. Don't talk to u r ex but make sure u r are very affectionate with ur Date. Whatever it takes to get him to notice u r date beome curious about ur new life.

Act as if breraking up with him was the best thing in the world, because u have someone better.

If u don't have a (handsome date at hand) ask a male firend to go with u and pretend to he is very successful (if he is not).

Like say, this is my boyfriend he is Dr/lawyer/accountant/ and we just came back from a vaction in bahamas!

I know if seems like a game. But it will do wonders for your self-esteem. Being alone at this gathering might make u miss ur ex.

Besides u want him to know that u r doing better and the thought of getting back together would not even occur to u, ever!

Living well is the best revenge!
But that's not living well. It's just a pack of lies and making her even less than she was before!

Im still very disgusted and angry. I know this is part of the process and I am just going through. He is dirty to me

Taking a date is not a bad idea, actually, even if your date is just a close female friend.

There is no reason to give him any explanation for who that person is, either. If you give an introduction, you can just say "This is Sarah" or "This is Jim". There's no need to explain who Sarah or Jim IS to you. You owe this person nothing! And having the moral support of a good friend is great anyway!

He came to the guy this morning at 6am. He knows that is when I will be at the gym. He did not speak or anything. Neither did I. I was proud of myself because normally I would have been all over him or trying to figure out what to do or feeling like I have to go talk to him. He wanted me to come over there but I just keep doing my own workout. It's game

Hi Guys,

I have been very blessed to come to this website. I have saved myself "some" pain and stupid moves between this site and another. I am doing all the right things. He wanted to break up and become friends. I respected his wishes and told him I can't be friends cause I love him so much. I have not made any contact and I have changed my phone number so he can't call. I just can't seem to get over him. I still think about him all the time. I know it can take some time. I have like 4 dates lined up for the weekend and I even like two of the guys for real but I can't stop thinking about my ex. I saw him 2 days ago at the gym and of course I ignored him because I know I'm not ready to be dealing with him. He did not come talk to me either. I feel like he came to test me to see what I would do since normally I would be falling at his feet. Not now. I'm not playing myself. I just can't seem to really give up and let go. He does not know how I feel cause I have been so good at the NC.

Even if I contact him, it would not do any good. It is not my place to contact him. He is the one who decided he does not want a relationship anymore and said to me to see other people after almost 4 yrs in a relationship. I think coming to the gym was a test to see where my head was. He is shady, arrogant,, he wants me to sweat him and all like that. Im not doing it. I still miss him and love him. It hasn't been that long so I guess I will just keep doing what I have been doing. I wish we could work it out but Im not going to put any effort into bringing us together again. I am really trying to accept it and move on for my own well being.

Well here we go. Im going to call my new prospectives and have a good weekend.

Your thoughts?

You doing da right thang you digz and goodluck

I think that the problem here is that your not completely willing to let go. Your telling yourself that you still love him and miss him. That's what's holding you back. Your doing everything right but now it's time to realize that you don't love him anymore, sure you still think about him, but that's not love, it's you just trying to sort things out in your head. I'm going through the same situation with my ex so I truly do wish you luck!

You know what to do :)

Keep on no contact

As for the thinking.. well my dear I wish there was a button that could turn that crap off.
For everything in life!

I have sooo many things that I wish I could just stop thinking about.

But you learn to deal with it.
But I am very proud of how strong you are :)
I don't say that to many people

Keep being strong girl
And you will get there!

There is no time limit on when we will forget. We never do.
You want to get to the stage where you can think about him. But it does not effect you so much..

And just think of it like this.

I bet you! That you are feeling better now. Than you did on the day you guys broke up.. right?

Look for the small wins!
Take it day by day and trust me you will get there

All the best ;) :) ;)

The break-up is still fresh so it is normal to feel the way you do. But your doing great and when thoughts of him creep up in your mind change your thought process to something else.

I'm going through the same situation with you!I have been good at the NC,I've never tried to call him or text him but still thinking of him and still I can't find any interested around me.And I think the problem is that we're keep on thinking how much we love them and how much we're missing them.
I wish I knew how to stop these feelings... but I don't.So be patient and just think you're not the only one.

A wise person told me many years ago if you want to get over someone it takes a lot of work and the one thing I found helpful to to just say NO!

Every time he comes to mind and it can happen a hundred times a day*just say no* and force the thought from your head.
You are the master of your thoughts so just wipe those thoughts away and if they still keep haunting you turn them around and remember how he hurt you,not how good he kissed!

Keep up the good work and look at the past for what it is.. a learning experience!

Have a great week-end!

Your doing fine as of now, and you just need more time, and a lot of enjoyable activities, and friends, to keep you busy.

I was with this guy for almost 4 years. Just crazy about him. Anyway he broke up with me in November. He did not want me out of his life but I could not be the girlfriend anymore. I had to be the close woman in his life. He was trying to fix his issues and that kind of bull. So he tells me that I need to see other people cause he can't give me what I wanted but he does not want us to not be friends or anything. Since I was in love with him, I told him I love him and I can't be his friend. I asked him not to call me anymore and then I changed my number. I KNOW he did not want that. He just wanted us to be cool cause we were pretty close at one time and I was very good to him. He lost a friend and a good lover. But hey he decide that he was not going to be able to be in a Relationship anymore.

So anyway, this was in November that we broke up and I went NC.

So this Sunday, I was on a date with this guy and here comes my ex. He was walking fast past us and then I noticed that he slowed down and looked real hard to see if that was me with someone. I played it off and acted like I did not see him but I saw him. He had to back past me again and he turned his head so he would not have to look again. I acted like I did not see him again. IT was hard.

We left after that shortly and I saw him sitting by himself looking at his phone. I know that bothered him cause it would have bothered me. We have not been broke up that long. I miss him so much but I have been strong on NC and I have not made any moves towards him whatsoever. I was just glad that he sees that I am moving on and not sitting at home waiting for him while he is out meet new women. It felt really really good.

I wonder what he is think though. Probably not a thing since he ended it. I know he did not want to hurt me and so I don't think he was expecting to see me out already with someone.

What is your question? What was he thinking? I am sure it sucked for him to see, but in the end it doesn't matter. This happens to everyone. Just keep doing what you are doing and living your life, as you don't need to worry about what he was thinking.

Good for you! You've done this the right way. You were hurt and broken hearted, but you knew enough to say no, you can't be friends. I'm so proud of you for being strong! You go, girl!

This is a natural reaction to seeing your ex again. Seems like you handled it well. Don't worry about what he is thinking or doing, you're making it, you're surviving, you're standing... and you're moving on.

Good for you. :)

But, major props to you. You should write an essay on here about moving on, as you seemed to do it perfectly, even as being the one who was dumped. I look up to you for that, and I am proud of you. Good job! Just keep moving forward. Relationships can be painful, no doubt about it, but you learn a lot about yourself with each.

You guys are right. Since I still love him and think about him and all that. It is so funny, that day was such a hard day for me and in the end I see him and this is what happens.
It is just weird. But he can't tell that I am suffering and missing him a lot. I just have to keep my calm face and play it cool.

I can't take a whole lot of credit. I learned how to handle myself on this website and others. It has paid off no doubt. But it still hurts. It just don't hurt like it would if I would have been doing it my own self without guidance. So I am glad I have been following the advice given here. It really is good. I learn so much of what not to do to make yourself like a a/s and to have something to be proud of yourself. The ex can really tear you all the way down and it is nice to not be able to give them all that power. Im happy about that but I still have so much love for this guy. It is getting better though.

Just take it day by day, all right? I know how it is. I am almost on month four of the break up and I still love my ex dearly... that just makes us good people, that's all. Nothing wrong with that. What matters is that we are healing and getting better, the time is not a factor. Keep your chin up.

Excellent, excellent, excellent.

I will write that down. TAke it one day at a time. That's all I can do.

Yes I love my ex so much but this is where we are and I am working to accept it. Everyday is different and a challenge. It has been about a month for me as well.
Oh well.

(Group Hug) You guys are amazing. I am really glad I am here in the time of my life. I know I would have made every single dumb mistake to mankind without you all teaching me how to let someone go.

I am working on it. I am working on it. That is all I cn say. It takes time, time, time.

Then I seen him this weekend while I was on a date. It was weird. He was surprised too. He saw me before I saw him so he had that look on his face. I was playing it cool and acting like I really did not see him but I did. He said I need to date other people so guess what... Im dating other people. He looked shocked

I have been telling myself, he is not coming back all weekend long. I just kept telling myself that and trying to convince myself to believe it. I have to do this everyday

Take it day by day and you will be fine good luck

Way to handle yourself.

You are on solid ground.

I know, it feels like crap... been there myself. First big love (6+years together) took me almost 2 years to get over.

I don't know. I've lost a few big loves in my life... twice when I walked away... I still loved them, but the timing was wrong or they were wrong... yet I always secretly wondered if they ever thought about me, missed me, felt bad for how they hurt me... its normal to go through this.

You can love a person that you cannot be with. Again... been there myself more than once.

What was he thinking? Probably all you imagined. Most of us would love to think our ex's regret our absence. Its natural and normal.

You are strong! Wow, impressive! That really must have felt great for you to have him see you with another guy, moving on, and not wating around for him. Nice!

I have been in a off and on relationship for 4 yrs. I realize now that I love him but I don't like the way he treats me. He is a Gemini, he is sweet but not consistent. It is like when it is good it is great.. when it is bad.. it is bad. I crave him when we are separated but when we are together, he stress me out with his ways.

My friend told me

LOVE Don't MEAN ANYTHING IF HE DOES NOT TREAT YOU RIGHT

She tells me, you can love someone that does not treat you. You have to separate the two which I had a hard time REALIZING. If they don't treat you right... regardless of how you feel about him, you have to back up or back out. One or the other!!

Does this make sense?

Yep makes sense to me, but sometime we become blind to our partners faults, we ignore the negative and try to find the positive. You would be surprised by the amount of people who are unhappy for the sake of love.

But importantly are you taking this advice?

What is it that you crave about him exactly?

yep makes sense to me, but sometime we become blind to our partners faults, we ignore the negative and try to find the positive. you would be suprised by the amount of people who are unhappy for the sake of love.

But importantly are you taking this advice?


Yes I am. As stupid as this sounds, I was not mentally processing it that way. I am one of the people was putting love in front of treating me right. Treat me right if you love me for real. Anything else is bull/sh/t!!

Yeah, I got it now

What is it that you crave about him exactly?

His time, his attention, his body, his voice. HIM HIM HIM

I have dated a Gem man and it is crazy love. I love him but he is so inconsistent. First of all, he always got to be doing something. He can't sit down and chill. He always got to be going somewhere. He can be fun and exciting but then his twin comes out and he is mean, selfish, and hard to get along with. We have been going up and down so many times that it is just time to turn in the towel.

Has anyone else dated a Gemini Man? What is your experience?

I don't think this has to be strictly because he is a Gemini, this is his personality, for better or worse. Many people of different signs have this personality.

Either learn to live with it, or kick him to the curb and find a man that treats you well.

J_9;1592233]I don't think this has to be strictly because he is a Gemini, this is his personality, for better or worse. Many people of different signs have this personality.

Either learn to live with it, or kick him to the curb and find a man that treats you well.

I can't live with it. He stress me out. I just want to know has anyone date a Gemini and what was their experience

I have been friends with a Gemini man for 12 years and WHOA! Very true about the twin. Although many people won't believe or agree that Gemini people can be very hot and cold it is SO true. Yes there are other people in this world with the same personality type Gemini's got it bad. I agree with what is being said about moving on if it's not what you need. Don't waste time and energy, chances of him changing are slim to none.

I have been friends with a Gemini man for 12 years and WHOA! Very true about the twin. Although many people won't believe or agree that Gemini people can be very hot and cold it is SO true. Yes there are other people in this world with the same personality type Gemini's got it bad. I agree with what is being said about moving on if it's not what you need. Don't waste time and energy, chances of him changing are slim to none.

That's what Im saying. People don't understand,. Gemini men have it BAD BAD BAD. I have dealt with him for 4 years. We will be doing great. Loving and fun. Then one day... here comes that TWIN. I hate it! It is so twisted that you think you couldn't have met a better man so sweet and loving. Then here comes that other mean mutha fu/ker.
It is a big roller coaster ride. It has taken me a long long long time to let him go. He stress me out

It is a big roller coaster ride. It has taken me a long long long time to let him go. He stress me out

I think the point is irrelevant to what star sign he is. If you can't handle the Roller coaster ride and the thrills and spills that come with it , it's time to get off.

Good luck whatever you decide.

I think the point is irrelevent to what star sign he is. If you can't handle the Roller coaster ride and the thrills and spills that come with it , it's time to get off.

Good luck whatever you decide.

First of all, this is a conversation about women who have dated Gemini men. If you are not down with the question.. you isn't got to answer.

2ndly, relationships are not that simple so I don't know why you coming across so vague. Tons of people look for directions, advice, information, and what not.

Keep it moving. I want to talk to people who can tell me about their experience.

First of all, this is a conversation about women who have dated Gemini men. If you are not down with the question..you aint got to answer.

2ndly, relationships are not that simple so I dont know why you coming across so vague. tons of people look for directions, advice, information, and what not.

Keep it moving. I want to talk to people who can tell me about their experience.

My apologies if this is not what you wanted to hear!!

I guess I don't understand this, but what does him being a Gemini have to do with anything. I have dated a Gemini, Libra, and Leo. They all were a mess. LOL

Personally I have not had good experiences with Gemini men. They have all been crazy and flighty. If you are looking for a stable and normal relationship look elsewhere because you won't find it with them. I don't know what sign you. Fire and air signs would be the most compatible I would think. Every Gemini has his or her own variances as well. Some are more normal. Geminis can be very friendly and nice but they also have a mean cold edge and can be very hurtful at times. My biggest beef with the male geminis are that they are extremely irrational, airheaded and yes extremely self absorbed and selfish.

Personally I have not had good experiences with Gemini men. They have all been crazy and flighty. If you are looking for a stable and normal relationship look elsewhere because you wont find it with them. I don't know what sign you. Fire and air signs would be the most compatible I would think. Every Gemini has his or her own variances as well. Some are more normal. Geminis can be very friendly and nice but they also have a mean cold edge and can be very hurtful at times. My biggest beef with the male geminis are that they are extremely irrational, airheaded and yes extremely self absorbed and selfish.

Thank you for your comment. You hit it on the nail.. very friendly and nice but mean cold edge as well. Only a woman who has dated a Gem would know this cause they are very nice to their friends.

I found this website that talks about women who dated Gem men and they all say the same thing about them. Like you said, some of them are cool but they are difficult to deal with in relationship. I am a aquarius.

I know two couples that are aquarius/gemini. The first couple is always on the move. When they go anywhere there is always an itinerary they have on paper. I kid you not. They must have every second of every day planned or they feel like they missed out on something I guess. All I know is when they came to visit me it drove me nuts. They need to have all their time accounted for. My other friend and her husband are not like that but she the gemini is usually doing something. Either on a trip somewhere or locally out doing something. I think it is great for her and nothing wrong with it if that is what you like to do. For me I need space and alone time. As an Aquarius you need to have someone who you can really communicate with on an intellectual basis. We all need communication, it is important. Find someone who you can really have a deep conversation with and he'd be a keeper.

I know two couples that are aquarius/gemini. The first couple is always on the move. When they go anywhere there is always an itinerary they have on paper. I kid you not. They must have every second of every day planned or they feel like they missed out on something I guess. All I know is when they came to visit me it drove me nuts. They need to have all their time accounted for. My other friend and her husband are not like that but she the gemini is usually doing something. Either on a trip somewhere or locally out doing something. I think it is great for her and nothing wrong with it if that is what you like to do. For me I need space and alone time. As an Aquarius you need to have someone who you can really communicate with on an intellectual basis. We all need communication, it is important. Aquarians are thinkers.

Yes they have to be doing something. They can't sit around. It isn't anything wrong with it. My ex is the GEM man. I'm the aqua women. This relationship was very very stimulating for me. It was everything I wanted in a man and relationship. Then the twin came out. He was hard to deal with. I wish it could have worked

Too bad you couldn't work it out.

Wow I didn't know that people actually paid attention to zodiac signs! That's sooo interesting! Did anyone ever hear about how certain people's zodiacs make them get along with only some other certain zodiacs? This reminds me of the sims game.

wow i didn't know that people actually paid attension to zodiac signs! that's sooo interesting! did anyone ever hear about how certain people's zodiacs make them get along with only some other certain zodiacs? this reminds me of the sims game.

Yes, I believe in Zodiac signs... not Horoscopes. I have found them to be 90% accurate. This guy here, I did not look for but he just happen to be someone I am suppose to be good with in relationships

I'm Aquarius, my friend male Gemini. It's funny they say that they are suppose to get along better with Libra and Aquarius... can you imagine what life is like for women that don't fall in those signs. Gemini men are almost there with the kindness and then boom the twin arrives. I used to always say "I wish he could be just a little bt nicer". I have found a lot in the zodiac break down of this sign to be accurate... just an opinion...

I'm Aquarius, my friend male Gemini. It's funny they say that they are suppose to get along better with Libra and Aquarius....can you imagine what life is like for women that don't fall in those signs. Gemini men are almost there with the kindness and then boom the twin arrives. I used to always say "I wish he could be just a little bt nicer". I have found a lot in the zodiac break down of this sign to be accurate ... just an opinion...

I can't speak for other people but it helps me. I don't believe everything it says about someone. But it is about 85-90% accurate. Most women find the gem man to be sweet but difficult for sure. He is just complicated. I did not realize that a lot of the issues we were dealing with had a lot to do with the type of person he is. He fits his zodiac to a T and I mean a T. I don't care what nobody says. At least the one I dated for 4 yrs

There is much truth to astrology. But a sign is not a perfect mold. You must take into account who raised you, how you were raised and where. Of course how all your personal set of experiences made you who you are. The same set of experiences will not make someone the same as you. You are raised by either one two parents or by someone else which has a huge impact on your development. Those people that raised you are have an astrological sign. It could be impaired by their upbringing and set of circumstances and so on and so on. It is very complex.

There is much truth to astrology. But a sign is not a perfect mold. You must take into account who raised you, how you were raised and where. Of course how all your personal set of experiences made you who you are. The same set of experiences will not make someone the same as you. You are raised by either one two parents or by someone else which has a huge impact on your development. Those people that raised you are have an astrological sign. It could be impaired by their upbringing and set of circumstances and so on and so on. It is very complex.

I total agree. That is why it is about 80 to 90% accurate. You really have to experience the person. The zodiac is kind of a preview of them but not the whole picture

Thats what Im saying. People dont understand,..Gemini men have it BAD BAD BAD.

No, I don't understand. I grew up with a Gemini father, have a Gemini son, and have dated a Gemini man. They are some of the most loving people I have ever known in my life.

So, again, being Gemini has little to do with it.

People are individuals and do not share traits based on their birthdays.


The zodiac is kind of a preview of them but not the whole picture
Self-fulfilling prophesy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self_fulfilling_prophecy

You are dead wrong!
Thank you for your logical and fact-filled comment... crazybird. :rolleyes:

My wife is a Gemini, been a great ride so far. Love them twins as there is never a dull moment.

Ok well I am a Taurus and my husband is a Gemini... need I say more? Technically he and I are opposites (side by side on the zodiac and/or one extreme to another). We are not suppose to get along and we are not suppose complement each other... or so the zodiac say's. I am best paired up with a Virgo or Scorpio.

Sign compatibility with the Gemini:

Gemini Love Compatibility (http://www.gotohoroscope.com/gemini-compatibility.html)

I can tell you the good things about my Gemini man, he is loving, caring, thoughtful, generous, spontaneous, harmonious, charismatic, fun-loving, center of attention, easy-going, talkative - always probing for more information about everything then sharing the information later with family, forgiving, unconditional, everyone loves him when they meet him (likable), versatile, knowledgeable, thinker, adaptable, imaginative/creative, quick witted, talented crafts man, understanding, supportive, sweet, goal orientated, high achiever, attractive personality, never boring, smart in business, multitasked, great problem solver (sees the situation from all views), loves to travel and excellent with our children.

Now for the downside to my Gemini man, he is flighty, moody, restless, fickle, egotistical (alpha male) and impractical at times, becomes board easily, always on the go; always has to do something or go somewhere. He starts a project but rarely finishes a project and usually likes to start another one and nothing ever gets done, so I am always keeping him on task (which he hates…I always give him logical reasons to finish and tell him that I support him in anything he does so long as he isn't impractical about it). When I want something done, I have to chase him around the house for days! Taurus like order, organization, neatness, cleanliness, consistency and Gemini's tend to be disorganized however complexly organized in their minds – which I could never get. I have learned not to care so much, as you probably noticed, I am the nagging one in the relationship because I need order, organization and consistency (which is confused for “control” – Taurus are focused on their environment – the mutable earth sign) in all aspects of my life to function – this allows me to work under unbearable amounts of stress/pressure in my home and career life. I can say all of this about myself and my relationships because I have learned from my flaws, mistakes and am changing my approach in everything that I do and everyone I meet (continually growing)... compassion is important to make relationships work; you have to give and take in all area's, communication in its entirety is the key to any successful relationship, one person can't always bend; both need to understand each other.

He doesn't realize it but he is a flirt... he stares and such but I always tell him when I am uncomfortable he respects me so he stops (since I have the jealous streak and Taurus at their worst are stubborn and are sometimes known to be malicious, clever, calculating, hurtful, deceiving, ammunition storing and dangerously tempered) so I also have the ability to be just as horrible - mix the two hot tempers and the roof is on fire, BUT we usually don't fight there are limitations and boundaries we set out that we respect. The biggest lesson is just walk away and come back to talk when things are cool. I am still exercising this idea, the problem is Taurus are always up for a challenge and extremely direct/to-the-point and Gemini's are not since they need to consult with their twins (the ying and the yang) this angers the Taurus even more when heated…since we want find more information and find a solution and develop understanding. Gemini have problems facing conflict head on and need to think – they can't hold their tempers nor control their rage so it is better when they walk away…Gemini tempers are more extreme then the Taurus – they can become physical if their opinion, ideas and/or self expression is denied.

Gemini has issues talking about deep thoughts – they say one thing but think something else. They make excellent liars/tricksters so read them closely we never know which twin we are talking to. Also capable of infidelity (need excitement/spontaneous/dangerous emotions to feel alive because they get board so easily) and sex with them can be hot - like an animal then the next cold and distant but still giving intimacy in other ways (when it's good it's hot; when it's bad it's cold). This is very frustrating as a Taurus (Venus), I indulge in old-school romance, anything that excites the 5 senses, very open to sexual desires, love to make love, feel and give love and fantasy and he is reluctant to share his (So I being so emotional and him the physical can be a challenge). When we where younger we both would end up having our own parties with different people; I am occupied with male(s) (since I don't get along with many females (but mind you when I find my soul sister - its for life and she is also a dominant female - I get irritated by submissive and unintellectual people I find them flaky)) then I usually don't become bothered by his conversations with women. Guaranteed at the end of the night there is always a fight (which he initiates) and it was all due to a lack of communication in our relationship. He hated me talking to the other guy(s) but never stopped to tell me... the way I saw it was hey, you're all caught up talking to her so what's the problem? I can't talk to someone? “Visa versa” it goes both ways. He never communicates his emotions, how he “really” feels, solutions to our problems... he thinks that's all he does, he thinks and thinks and holds it till one day boof! Or I get him drunk and relaxed…opps! Seriously :) we get a lot out on the table and both are relaxed to be attentive to each others feelings. If it doesn't come out; it all spills out and since I am a very good fighter I dig out all my ammunition and unload too... it isn't about winning it is about talking it out and resolving problems... not to cause the battle of WW2 in the house! – I needed to change MY approach. A tough lesson I needed to learn but am continually enlightening myself and asking him "what can I do to help?" and "what can I do to be a better person for you?". Both signs can be extremely selfish and Gemini is always pleasure seeking which pleasing the materialistic Taurus can be a challenge... good thing "most" Taurus's (not the lazy ones though - "immature sign". The "mature sign" are independent and know that they have to work for what they want).

But all in all, we both love and like the same things; we are opposites but that is what makes us work. What he isn't or what I am not (lacking), we supplement each other and help each other either with humor or humility. The thing is, we are not to the “T” with our signs, it all depends on all elements…if you want to know more you can chart yourself by your name, birth date and time of birth…you will see that you will carry traits from different zodiacs. I do believe that they give us a base of character but remember that not everyone is justified by their sign as it entirely is based on when they where born and what other environmental influences there are. I am a great believer in the Zodiac, Astrology, Numerology and Aura's…they are also very consistent in relation to each other. It all boils down to you and who you want in your life, if it isn't working – move on and find someone who is complimentary to you.

I really don't pay attention to someone signs but I do pay attention to the person character and actions rather than words. All I can say is if you don't like the way he is treating you than talk to him about. About you done talked to him and about it and nothing has change than chances are he won't never change. Than you've decide whether your going stay and if you stay you can't complain because you have the option to leave.

I have been in and out of a relationship with a Gemini man and while they are fun, funny, and never a bore when there second personality hits the fan it HITS. They can be hurtful, untrustworthy, and plain volatile. It was an up and down roller coaster with me always walking on egg shells to avoid the "2nd Persona." I would try so hard to avoid the fights that I slowly began to lose myself and forget who I really was. My whole heart belonged to him and I fell for him hard but he constantly broke my heart.

My ex and I have been off and on for 4 years now. We went out recently and I asked him was he sleeping with someone else and he say yes. I was shocked really that he was truthful.

The next day I asked him to stop seeing her and focus on us. He said he can't answer that right now. I told him I respect his honesty.

I don't know what to do from here. I don't want to be with him while he is with someone else. How would you handle it from this point?

IF IT WAS ME, I'd lose him. If he's with someone else then his focus OBVIOUSLY is not on YOUR relationship. Break ALL contact, and begin the healing process.

I would calmly walk away and say I deserved this crap. I would feel guilty for never treating him right in the first place.

NOT.

Kidding

I would walk away ,say good riddance and proceed to have a nice life.

If the two of you have been on and off for the last 4 years that means you ain't really going anywhere. It like walking in a circle in one spot over and over. Even if you do that sooner than later your going stop because your going get dizzy.

How many more years your going waste on this not going anywhere, hot and cold, someone who wants to sleep with someone else and not stop so called relationship?

Right now you have 2 options-- stay and accept things or leave and move on to better things. You have to want more for yourself and staying in a dead in relationship shouldn't be an options for you.

As Tal wrote " Why make someone a priority in your life when your just an option in theirs". Hope I wrote it right but think about it and let it sink in.

You guys are all right. I thought about what I would say below

Hey baby..YOUR time is up over here for me. You go ahead and keep sling di@k. Im no longer a OPTION for you. Peace!

Did I say the right thing here? I know sometimes emotions get in the way of clear thinking so I am just checking to make sure I am sending the right message.

I have not been able to sleep cause this is on my mind. I feel attached to him but I don't want to keep going through this. Please help

I would be a little more polite. "I no longer will remain on the back burner for you, I'm moving on from you. To someone that deserves me. Please do not contact me."

To be honest I don't think he would even care about what you had to say nor would it bother him that you don't want to be him. Especially since he is seeing someone else.

Just make sure that you stick with your decision.

I would get so bleeped if I wanted to put down what I want to say.

It would start with hay mo'fo are you insane?

I am 54 and I don't play anything at all.

I think you young girls put up with way too much.

Respect yourself!

I would be a little more polite. "I no longer will remain on the back burner for you, I'm moving on from you. To someone that deserves me. Please do not contact me."

You think my comment was rude? Im not trying to be.

I would be a little more polite. "I no longer will remain on the back burner for you, I'm moving on from you. To someone that deserves me. Please do not contact me."

you think my comment was rude? Im not trying to be.
Yes, no need to insult her, just tell her its over.

I agree with you Artlady because I see a lot of my friends put up with nonsense that are usually very smart but when it comes to guys they are dump a** hell. I be wanted to just grap them and shake some sense into them.

Also, I realize that I try to talk sense into them but they have to learn the hard way. I get my tough skin from my mother because she take no sh*t from nobody including my dad that she been married to for over 30 years and if she see me in a mess up situation she's isn't afraid to slap me into reality. Love my mother!

To be honest I don't think he would even care about what you had to say nor would it bother him that you don't want to be him. Especially since he is seeing someone else.

Just make sure that you stick with your decision.

Thanks Liz. I just want to make sure I make myself clear. That is important to me. How would you put it? You seem to have a clear mind

I told him I respect his honesty.
I don't know what to do from here.


Respect his honesty, and lose the bum!

"Get out of my life, and leave me the freak alone".

Then disappear from his life.

Don't worry about being kind, just tell him point blank that you're done for good.

Four years on and off, this relationship was never a relationship to begin with. It's time to shovel the crap outside where it belongs and find something better.

Good luck.

The off/on for 4 years should be a real sign, Time to move on to others and stop going back

Wow you guys are completely done with him. Welll I did break it off but I miss him already. Oh well

Your supposed to miss him, if you didn't you would never have been with him in the first place!

You've done the right thing, and as the others have said, the 4 yr off again on again relationship is a big sign.

Time to move on and find someone that deserves you.

As an aside, if you are feeling lonely, I try to think of it as a new adventure with so many possibilities rather than being alone, now your free for the right person to come along and sweep you off your feet! YAH! :D

Your supposed to miss him, if you didn't you would never have been with him in the first place!

You've done the right thing, and as the others have said, the 4 yr off again on again relationship is a big sign.
Time to move on and find someone that deserves you.

As an aside, if you are feeling lonely, I try to think of it as a new adventure with so many possibilities rather than being alone, now your free for the right person to come along and sweep you off your feet! YAH! :D

I never thouhgt of it that way even though it makes complete sense. It is part of the process to move on to someone else. Here we go! :(

I have been dating a guy for 4 years. I will be honest... He was married when we first got together. Yeah I know... that was stupid. He told me he was going to leave and all that. We went through a lot of good times and a lot of hard time. In the end, the house went into foreclosure, the car is repossed, and he is living with his mom not trying to get his life in order. The problem is that he has told me several times, he don't want a relationship anymore even before all this happen. . He will spend time and all that but no commitment. His priorities seem to be his family, his friends, his kids, and himself. I feel like I am in the shadows.

HERE IS MY BIGGEST FEAR... please guys. I need sound advice here. I am so scared!

I feel like Im missing out if he is gone on. He does so many fun and exciting things. I want to be a part of it. I fear That he is going to improve his life, met someone special and build and enjoy a happy life with them which is what I want with him. How do I get over this?

He tells me he has love for me and but all that love stuff is too much and he doesn't want to be in a relationship. We have not been arguing or anything. We spend time together and talk on the phone a lot. We help each other out but I still feel like after 4 years I really don't have anything to show for it. I makes me feel horrible inside. I have been praying about it cause I don't want to lose him all together but the truth is I am unhappy. I feel stuck in this state of mind that won't let me let go but it is not showing me anything. It might work out but it might not.

I just don't know what to do guys.

This is pretty straight forward. Never talk to him again. Don't think about him ever again. And if you do think of him which you will, distract yourself right away. Its not right to get involved with a married man or woman for that matter. You have wasted 4 years of your life with someone who doesn't want a commitment with you or who looks at you as anything other then someone to confide in on his time. If this guy was half a man he would be the one to cut off all communication so that you may find yourself a man who is capable and able to love you and give you everything you deserve. You need too move on for your own sake. Do yourself a favor, please. You have a whole world awaiting you if you choose to let this guy go.

"I feel like Im missing out if he is gone on. He does so many fun and exciting things"

You don't need him to have fun and exciting things in your life. You can have them on your own or find a compatible partner whom you can have fun and exciting things in your life.

Please do not waste anymore time with this man. He started seeing you when he was married... this isn't someone you want to be with... who's to say he wouldn't do that with you if you had ever got together?

Please you don't need too wait for him to find someone else before you truly realize that your chasing a fish that you can't catch. There is someone special out there for you but he will never come as long as you continue to travel this road your on.

Please love yourself enough to move on and only then can you love someone else. You have to love yourself before you can love another.

Take what you have learned these four years and grow from it,

Pain can either make you bitter or better, and there will be pain when you choose to cut this guy out of your life for good but have it be for the better. No guy will want to come into your life as long as you keep any form of communication with this guy.

Please love yourself enough and move on, please.

You will feel like you have never felt before, truly amazing.

I merged your threads, so we can all see what you have gone through, and what jumps out is, your healing is interrupted whenever you make any contact with him, because it stirs up all those good old feelings yet again. That's NOT no contact. If you stick to NC, you will get over him, along with being proactive in your own life without him.

Be patient, as the emotional attachment, and feelings over 4 years will take a long while to break.



The way I really want to handle seeing him is... not deal with him at all. I don't have anything to say.


This was what you said last December, Its very hard to do, but that's your solution. STICK TO IT!!

I merged your threads, so we can all see what you have gone thru, and what jumps out is, your healing is interrupted whenever you make any contact with him, because it stirs up all those good old feelings yet again. Thats NOT no contact. If you stick to NC, you will get over him, along with being proactive in your own life without him.

Be patient, as the emotional attachment, and feelings over 4 years will take a long while to break.



This was what you said last December, Its very hard to do, but thats your solution. STICK TO IT!!


I never knew how true what talaniman says till I experienced it first hand. I reset myself to day one(square 1) every time I made contact. My healing stopped and had to be reset. What bothered me the most about having to go back to square 1 was the amount of time of my life that was lost, all because of contact with a person who doesn't want to be with me. I lost half of 2009 because I didn't adhere to No contact and get on with my life and heal so that I may move forward.

Hear is what I am saying... nothing will ever take the feelings that the person you love and think is the one away. But you have to make a choice in whether you want someone else to dictate how you feel or how you live your life. It comes down to truly loving and trusting yourself and knowing that in this you will be happy no matter who comes and goes in your life. We can all die tomorrow. I don't want to be hurting and knowing that I didn't trust in myself to give myself a chance at being able to prove to myself that I can heal... only no contact, reflecting on how you can be better in the future and accomplishing small goals, medium goals and big goals along the way.

Say to yourself this:

I love myself, I love myself enough to give myself a chance to see what lies ahead.
I am a great person, I have lots of love to give and would rather see the love in me that is so strong given and received by someone who truly appreciates it and responds by returing that same love to me.

I am stronger then my past and I am who I am because of it. I control my world, nobody else.

Love is.

You have so many people here supporting you here and saying the same thing, trust in it, only a fool wouldn't.

Threads merged for the last time


I wanted to know if you think talking to your ex when you break up is a good idea. We did not have a bad break up. I still wanted to be with him but he doesn't want a relationship. I know he is going to call me and I just want to know how do you handle it. I don't want to pick up the phone just to hear, hey I was just thinking about you but I still don't want to get back together. How do you handle those time? If we could be together, I would love it but I don't think it will happen. It has been a hard relationship.

Well if you are happy on speaking to him again well then do? If you still have feelings for him you should just him and see what he thinks? You never know with fella's he could be instered again.
Best of luck. Be careful you don't get hurt.

I think that right after a break up from an ex is too soon to talk to them. So by keeping in contact with them constantly will only prolong the time you need to heal and get over them. When you feel you are strong enough and are over them then you could start talking to them.

Ex boyfriend still wants to talk to me. Is that a good idea?


It's a lousy idea, and your only doing it because your afraid of losing him, and you'll be alone. Move forward, not back.

I just wonder is this something a lot of others experience. I sleep well but then the first thing on my mind when I wake up is the ex and it makes the start of the day very hard. I cry or I come here to ease the pain. Is this something a lot of other people are experiencing. How do you deal with it?

Yes, it's normal. It'll go on for a while and then slowly die away. It takes time and you must give it time.

You didn't get into a relationship overnight and it doesn't just disappear overnight.

When did you two break up? It is normal but after a certain amount of time you shouldn't be thinking about the ex as much. After my fiancé dumped me it was at least 2 months of thinking about her 1st thing in the morning.

Best way to deal with it is to try to stay busy. The more you lay around in bed thinking about the ex the harder its going to be.

It's very important that you keep yourself mentally business during this period as this will also help you to move on. Live healthily, go out, enjoy yourself with your friends, but don't go jumping into any new romantic relationships for a while. You need to completely de-tox yourself. The fact that you say you are sleeping well is a good sign and that you are slowly beginning to come terms with what has happened. It's a hard road, you just need to stay focused.

I assume this is the ex from your previous threads? In which case you've been broken up for more than a year, but how long have you been NC? Thoughts of an ex are normal as the others have said, but the thing is to not dwell on these thoughts but to kickstart the day and keep your mind busy with your life in the present.

It's totally normal to miss him. If it's only been a short time, it's okay to cry. Actually we go through a sort of grieving period. Try to focus on you and your new life that's just around the corner. Talk to your best friend about how you feel. You should be fine soon.

If it's been a couple months or more, you may need to talk to your doctor. He/She can give you some medication to get you over the hump.

Good Luck!!

This has been going on for you for a YEAR.

Most people take up some sort of hobby and move on with their lives to get over their exes.

What are you doing for YOU right now? Why are you obsessing a year later about someone who is no longer in your life?

This has been going on for you for a YEAR.

Most people take up some sort of hobby and move on with their lives to get over their exes.

What are you doing for YOU right now? Why are you obsessing a year later about someone who is no longer in your life?

I am sorry I have given some of you the impression that I have been not talking to him for a year.

CLARIFICATION:
We have been off and on for about a year. We stop talking again this month which I believe is for good. The rollercoaster makes it start all over again cause I am not the one who really wanted this break up. I don't have the energy to get into the whole relationship but I do need you to stay with the post regarding the wake up issue.

Thanks

Well, my answer is still the same: Get a hobby. Take up exercising every day.

START NO CONTACT!

You do NOT need this roller coaster in your life, and if he can't figure it out, then let him go and get YOURSELF in a good place.

My question to you is ALSO still the same: What are you doing for YOURSELF right now? What are you doing to better YOUR life, with no thought whatsoever about what HE would think of it?

Thanks for clarifying that.
Ok,so NC starts from day one that you didn't speak, which, to my mind,explains why you wake up thinking about him. At this stage your thoughts are normal and try not to worry about it.
My advice about kickstarting the day still stands, make sure you keep as busy as you can in the mornings and find other things to occupying your mind.

Its helpful if the info is in fact complete for better answers. That's why yours, and many other posters, get your threads merged consistently, as a bigger picture is what advise is based on.

As You see from the replies you have already gotten, it makes a big difference knowing when and how contact occurs because as your seeing the effects of continued contact are deep and lonf ranging.

I am confused, I thought in the beginning in 2008 you were done with him and you were ready to move on, I had to jump ahead a few pages and I am confused. I was with someone for ten years who lied, cheated, betrayed, and used me, and still I stuck around. I was his doormat, and then the icing on the cake for me was he dumped me during a low time of my life and started up with someone I know, they are now engaged, and I too have to see him at social gatherings, but I just ignore him, I ignore her, and they are due to be married next August after barely a year together. Guess he found another doormat. I think about him every day too, only not as much, and my thoughts are no longer loving for him. I wish him the best, but I can't believe I stayed around for as long as I did when I was treated so poorly. It was a lesson learned. Good luck to you. Sounds like you were a little like me, only I hope you don't wait around another 6 years like I did for the obvious ending. You are in a toxic relationship, detoxify yourself.

Its helpful if the info is in fact complete for better answers. Thats why yours, and many other posters, get your threads merged consistently, as a bigger picture is what advise is based on.

As You see from the replies you have already gotten, it makes a big difference knowing when and how contact occurs because as your seeing the effects of continued contact are deep and lonf ranging.

Talaniman,
I am totally confused!! I posted about waking up in the morning to the pain of him being on my mind and SOMEHOW this other post I posted a while ago is in the place of that post... what happen??

If I can post according to chronological events in my life as they occur, that not fair. I don't need that other post to take the place of the post this morning. I really need direction and this was so crazy. I don't get it

Your post was not replaced, it was added to the one you had. The same thing applies to all who come here and make multiple post about the same subject. Sorry if your offended, its not my intention.