HI ALL!
I am new to this site and I need some good advice. My husband and I have been separated one month today. We have been together 10 Years and Married 3. Over the last year our marriage has fell apart. I have lied to him and deceived him and really hurt him. I have lived a life of complete sin. I have since found God and have turned my life around. Our commuication now is better than it has been in a very very long time. I love my husband so much and I can see all the things now, that I could not see then. We do talk daily and he still tells me he loves me. He has spent the night with me 2 times and made love to me 5 or 6 times since we split. He says one minute he does not see things working out but he just don't know. He says it is hard for him to trust me and believe me as much as he wants too. I have NOT lied to him not one time since our split and I have confessed all my sins to him. I know earning his trust will take time and proving myself. He says that he has not closed the door on anything, but has yet to say yes, I am committed to working our marriage out. He says he needs some time and space because he has not had a chance to even have a cooling off period. We do talk, email and text a lot. I admit, I probably have smothered him to a certain extent,it has not been intentional though. I am scared to death of losing my husband. Can anyone please give me some sound advice as to what to do or not to do? I love him and I am so sorry for all my wrong doings. He says he does know I love him and how sorry I am.

Stay on the right path, and continue to be patient, and above all keep talking and listening.

As long as your both willing to work together, there is always some hope.

The only thing thing you can do is prove to him that you've changed and that you genuinely want to make an effort to save your marriage.

The only way you can do this is through your actions, not your words. It's only been a month and you were together 10 years. Your lies and deceit will not be undone quickly and your husband needs time to heal.

It will take TIME and honest persistence on your part. There is no magic wand here.

What's with him not trusting you, or not saying he is committed to working the marriage out as you say, but he keeps in constant touch, and more to the point, maintains a sex life with you.

Why do you settle for that!

You have made mistakes, and I believe you that you have come full circle and are not the person you were. He either forgives you and works on the marriage, or he doesn't.

He can't have it both ways.

I would consider some boundaries and expectations from him, and a little distance and space to think. The bedroom, in the meantime should be off limits.

He has to give more, and take less.

Very simple, Give him the space he needs. He is not shutting the door out on you. Leave it at that.

Do not push too much or smother or you will push him farther away. Just continue the communication but like you said yourself you made certain decisions that effected your marriage and it will take time to heal the wounds that were created.

At least everything is out in the open and your changing your ways no matter what may happen. At least your making the changes to improve.

Don't allow your feelings of desperation or fear cause you to make things worse. I know you are scared and that is an emotion that can cloud your judgment about good and bad ideas. It is the emotion that is causing you to 'smother' him. You need to control that fear before it drives a larger wedge between you.

Take a step back and gather yourself together so that you can calmly show him that you have changed.

I do see one big red flag. He isn't sure if he wants to try to save the marriage, but he is still having sex with you even though you aren't living together. I hope you are both being extremely careful about birth control. You do not need to add a baby into this. It would be unfair to everyone concerned.

He has made love to you?

The two of you haven't made love - another one, I supposed, of saying the same thing but I question the way it was phrased.

I would stop the sexual relationship and work on communication - right now the relationship is on HIS terms, not yours, not joint.