This may sound completely crazy but I have reason to believe my ex is plotting to "disappear" in the near future. He is the sole custodian of our two children and I'm paying maximum CS on wage withholdings.

I don't want to say how I arrived at this conclusion but have discussed it with several friends, including a local police officer and they too believe my discoveries point to suspicion. Unfortunately, as a stand-alone, it is not enough "evidence" for me to take action now.

Let's just assume ex follows through with the plan and walks away from everything; his kids, house (in foreclosure), contents, and car. The kids could hang out in the house until they're evicted and I'd never know their dad was gone; not until the kids finally confessed that he was gone and they had nowhere else to go.

Obviously, this would present a substantial change in circumstances to which I could file for emergency custody. However, that would not stop child support from being garnished from my payroll because Dad would need to be served in order to modify custody.

How long would dad need to be "missing" before I would be able to get a modification?

The second he disappears he has abandoned the children and is criminally liable for his actions. This actually WOULD be a case of abandonment the way you tell it. You could file for modification the minute you picked up the kids and chances are they would also allow the garnishment to be stopped immediately, pending his location.

I would have a lawyer ready just in case.

Thanks, Steve. I've emailed the lawyer who represented me earlier and am awaiting their response.

This is a crazy situation but ex's situation IS desperate. People do strange things under this kind of stress.

I am really worried about my kids right now. I don't think they know what's going on, although I think they've had a healthy dose of reality these past 18 months with their father.

The agency handling CS for our case told me that an emergency hearing would likely not address child support. CS would only be terminated if the Order itself was modified and signed by the judge. That could take a long time!


Thanks for your input.

Steve is correct. If your granted an emergency order you can be granted a "stay " on the child support and have a hearing set for it at a later date. The stay is so they stop removing it from your paycheck but the actual issue can't be addressed because he would be the one responsible for support and he needs to be found first. Hope that made sense.

As mentioned earlier, if he does abadon the children like that (and yes that would actually be abandonment unlike many other questions here) you get an emergency hearing for custody and support will also be addressed. The actual order won't go away until later on but they can stop the garnishment until everything is ironed out.

Thanks everyone. I received a reply from my attorney who told me that ex could still be served even if he "disappeared" and that child support would be suspended.

I will get my ducks in a row and be ready for whatever happens.