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Boristheblade
Nov 18, 2009, 09:04 AM
This question is about a platonic relationship with another female friend.

I am very close friends with a girl I've met since starting university. However, a problem keeps cropping up.

She has another close friend, and for some reason, though we've never really spoken, she has told my friend she doesn't like me and doesn't want to be with her when I'm there, though I've said I don't mind if she's around.

There's a big night tonight and naturally I want to go with my best friend, here, but she has said her other friend asked her before me so she's going to go with her and I can't because she doesn't like me. This got me angry and we started arguing because from my point of view I am not the one has created a problem so I don't see why I have to suffer from it and have to book my own friend in advance to make sure that someone that doesn't like me and whose presence means I can't go out with her doesn't ask her first.

What should I do? :confused:

I wish
Nov 18, 2009, 09:07 AM
Talk to her.

That's the best way to sort out this mess.

You can't expect this problem to go away magically.

Boristheblade
Nov 18, 2009, 09:18 AM
To who? My friend or the other girl?

I wish
Nov 18, 2009, 10:02 AM
Your friend of course.

If she was really your friend, she would hear you out and try to work things out.

Otherwise, she's not really a friend.

Boristheblade
Nov 18, 2009, 10:07 AM
We have spoken, from her point of view she says that she's going to continue being friends with us both and if they've arrange to go somewhere and I wan to go with her and I want to go with her I can't and I just have to deal with it. Is that resonable? Or should I leave them both to it?

I wish
Nov 18, 2009, 10:21 AM
Well if that's how she feels, then you have to respect her wishes.
Take it or leave it.

You can't force yourself to show up.

Boristheblade
Nov 18, 2009, 10:30 AM
What would you do, if you were me?

I wish
Nov 18, 2009, 10:36 AM
I would respect the fact that she wants to keep both friendships separate.

If that person was really my friend, they would find time to see me.

If they don't want to see you, then just make new friends who actually do want to see you.