Ok so here is the story I will try and make this as short as possible. I have been dating this guy for going on 6 months. We use to work together but he got fired. He was in a management position and it is highly looked upon. He is 30 and I am 23. Things were always pretty good with us we had a few tifts here and there but never could call it arguing. I recently moved into my new apartment and we spent tons of time together. Eventually I noticed him slowly bringing things over and leaving them. He had half of the closet space taken up by his clothing. He has 2 children (twins) they love coming over to my place as well. I had always felt a bit jealous of his ex for the simple fact she seemed to always try and get him to come back to her. (she broke it off with him) They were together 3 years bought a house, but never married. I myself am getting divorced, and my husband has been off seeing other people as well. Anyways--- when I confronted my guy about if he was moving in or what he got really deffensive and said he would go stay back at his place. I did not care either way just thought it was silly to pay rent elsewhere and never be there. He "lived" with me for a good 2 months. Well some things been going on with the ex and I could feel it. When his mom came down to visit she had stayed with the ex for the kids of course. One night I finally asked my guy where we stood he had been acting funny, and I wrongfuly accused him of trying to hook up with other people. I apologized and figured I would prob not hear from him so I let him vent. Come to find out he stayed at his exs house with his mom and his kids and I felt uncomfortable with that. I do not feel anything happened at all that's not what my gut is saying. --I finally sat him down and said I feel like I'm in an emotional triangle with you and your ex and I can't do that. He said he did not want to be in a relationship anymore, still stayed the night at my house cuddled in my bed (nothing physical happened) then the next day I dropped off his stuff at his house and bawled my eyes out in front of him. He said he still cared the relationship moved way to fast we need to slow it down. I agree too it did move fast. So I did not hear from him until the next day he was asking me what I was doing and seemed to get jealous that I went out with some friends that night. Then the next day I go out he is at the same club that I am, we went to my house and things were great I thought OK maybe things will work out with us. That night he asked me to stay with him, I did and again nothing physical happened I ended up looking through his phone (bad mistake) and saw his ex practically making a desperate attempt to get him back being spiteful to him getting mad he has it easy etc and saying love you to him... well that did it for me I up and left with no goodbye to him at all. I wish he could see she is messing with his head. The next night he text me asking to come over and talk, we did and nothing more. He told me he wanted to wine and dine me, develop a friendship since we moved to fast and he said he loved me.
He was suppose to watch his kids but over slept the ex and he got into a yelling match and she threatened to call me to see where he was at his reply was tell her you don't know... OK HOLD UP RED FLAG RIGHT? I was pissed off took him home and that was that until later when he asked me to come over. I told him if I did it won't be until later because I was going to movies. He tried to get me to ask him to go but I didn't, I ended up going to his house to sleep, again nothing happened other than the usual kissing like past nights. Is he toying with me? Does he really just want to date? Or he he trying to make me a booty call? I'm not buying into that at all. I love him deeply and was never trying to move fast with him, I feel if anyone moved fast it was him, and based on his previous girlfriend history he has moved fast with them. Maybe he got cold feet about us? Can anyone give me insite on what to do please I'm going nuts trying to figure out all the possibilities it could be.

Well, of course you know him better than we do, but...

It sounds to me like he may be hoping to "slow down" with you. He'll always be attached to his children's mother and it sounds like he could be conflicted about where his loyalty should be.

If you want to continue to be with him, date casually and see how it goes. A man with children has to pace himself before bringing a new person into their lives - that may be part of his issue.

This is no way to start a relationship. Your story is so mixed up, and feels like a snow ball rolling down the hill getting bigger and bigger, heading for a big crash at the end.

You are not yet divorced, he is still entwined with the life of his 'ex' and children, and neither of you know which end is up.

He has to decide whether telling the truth is a good or bad move. If he tells you that he is still in love with his 'ex', and trying to work things out with her, that's a start. At least you would know where you stand. You allowing him to move his stuff into your apartment was a bad idea for such a new relationship, obviously you didn't know him well enough, and while he was at your place, the drama still continued with his 'ex'.

This is a situation of he is still essentially with is wife, i.e. the phone calls- you can imagine what they do when they are together, and what you don't know, yet, he wants to start a meaningful relationship in the midst of this mess, with you.

I would say that he is simply not available, and he doesn't know what he wants. You have already found out he is juggling his life with you, and with her.

I would cut my losses, and move on. Otherwise you will be second fiddle until the cows come home, because he is nowhere near over her, and may never be. Stop wasting your time on a man who has made his own life so miserable and confusing that you won't ever know where he stands.

Stop the relationship right now and you both should end the old relationships. You need to get divorced and he needs to end his relationship with his ex or there will never be just two of you having relationship. It also sounds like he was using you for a place to put a roof over his head. If you ever go to the counseling, they will tell you same thing as I am telling you right now.

This is just not fair for your guys' OTHER significant others. You are both being extremely cruel to them behind their backs and in front of their faces. I don't care how much they wronged you in the past- nobody deserves to be treated the way you and this guy are treating these others. You both need to stop your relationships... ALL OF THEM, and get your heads on straight before you go about dating again. You both have backgrounds, you both have baggage- take care of that before you continue with your lives. He dated you because he's probably feeling pressure to settle down in life (since he's older and has kids, after all.) and, like
2ndTime said- he was using you. You need to take care of yourselves before you do anything more.