My grandma has been with me all of my life. She was like a second mother to me. We did everything together. Went to the beach,traveling, long car rides, sat at the park, talked about life, etc... she was the person I went to for EVERYTHING. 2 years ago she was diagnosed with type 4 cancer. She did everything. Chemotherapy, radiation, all the medications she fought through it. It went away for a while then came back and hit her with a boom. The second time was really harsh. We were always in and out of the doctors getting new information about what was going on in her body. Even though she had cancer, she was still a very happy person and we still did everything together. The last 6 months of her life were terrible though. In April we had to put her in home because my mom couldn't take care of her by herself so she needed help. She hopped around from home to home but none of them were the ones she liked. Plus she was loopy from all the medications. We finally found one that was close to home, really nice, and they took great care of her. Our whole family visited her everyday! I missed the last 2 months of school because I was always in her room with her holding her hand or talking to her. She was in the dying process and overflowed with drugs and medications. One day our immediate family was there and I was holding her hand and the nurse came in and said' brace yourselves,this is it' as I was holding her hand she opened her eyes just a little and squeezed my hand then let go. That was the last I saw of my grandma after being with her 15 years of my life. Its been a really hard 5 months. I feel like nobody knows how I feel because I lost the person that was closest to me. I haven't opened up about my feelings and my mom thinks I'm depressed. I still hang with friends but not as much because in my mind its like why am I having fun when the person that mattered the most to me was gone.
So my question is how can I get through this and how can I become me again without being an emotional wreck and being down, tired, and unhappy all the time. I just need help and need someone to talk to. Thanks.

You are not alone. If sadness affects you to the point of not functioning as much as you should be, in order to get through your daily work or school, then find a group of others that have lost a loved one. Those will be the only people that will understand. Others really won't, and if they are not in the space to help you feel better, they will not put themselves out there for you. Find a group, even one or two other people by asking the hospital, looking in the newspaper for group meetings, asking Churches.

You are bound to find a few friends that way. Then, your eyes will be open to how much other people besides yourself are also suffering.

Stay away from sad music for a while, possibly even find a good therapist. These are all things that I did and without it, I see so much anger in friends that have not done this for themselves when they have also lost a loved one.

Oh hon, I'm so sorry for your loss, but at least you could be there for her in her final moments. I'm sure that meant the world to her.It's going to take a lot of healing for you, but I promise you can get through it.
Try to hang out with your friends more often, even thought you're sad.
Your grandmother wouldnt' want you to stop everything now that she's gone, she would want you to be the girl that she loved and knew until her final hours. The girl with the happy heart and the smile on her face to match. The girl that's so compassionate that she stayed by her bedside when she needed you the most. You're still in there somewhere, you're just grieving.
I'll tell you, you'll never get over it, and you'll still miss her from time to time, and think of her, but everything gets easier. The pain becomes bearable, more and more so as you continue with your life. Don't be sad because you can't do all of those things with your grandmother anymore, be glad that those things happened and that you have such wonderful memories of her.
One day, you will be a grandparent, with a grandchild as wonderful as you are now, and you will give that grandchild all of the happy memories that your grandmother gave to you.
I wish you the best of luck in your grieving process, and I hope that from here on out it gets easier.