View Full Version : Lonely in love
smcthatgirl2
Nov 15, 2009, 07:02 PM
Hi,
OK I have not been on this site in so long. But I'm sad to say that the same old problem has arose yet again. I am in love with a boy who does not love me back. I am 17 and have never had a boyfriend, sad I know. Anyway, I have had a crush on this guy for like 4 years now , I have never told him that I like him and I can hardly even speak to him. Obviously that doesn't help the situation. The most frustrating part about all this is that I thought I was over him, but I saw him the other day for the first time in months and actually spoke to him and all of the old feelings I had just came rushng back. I don't know what to do about it. I would never have the guts to tell him how I feel and I don't think he would ever feel the same so it all feels hopeless to me. Also he has a girlfriend so what am I even thinking! What should I do? Its so pathetic I know, believe me, but I just can't help the way I feel. I really am so depressed about it. I can't believe I am doing this again,I vowed I would never do this to myself again it just hurts too much. I think the saddest part is that I am always in love with people and they never love me back, but then it is kind of my fault because I feel so crappy about myself and find it hard to even speak to them. What can I do? Am I crazy for liking this guy, would he ever even like me? I just wish that I was good enough for someone to fall in love with me for once. I know I soundpathetic but I am so confused.
WannaHelpOthers
Nov 15, 2009, 09:09 PM
Hello sweetie,
The funny thing about your situation is that everything your going through, I'm going through right now too. I am also 17 and in love with a guy that doesn't love me back. But I find that for some reason we find comfort in falling for guys that do not have feelings towards us so that you will have an excuse to not get too close with someone else. But from what I can tell you're an amazing person, and just need to put yourself out there. I'm pretty sure that there are so many special qualities about you that will make any guy happy. So try speaking up and putting yourself out there and you'll soon find that special someone.
I know you have it in you girl
*feel free to comment back or ask me any question regarding other methods I take*
barbiechick123
Nov 21, 2009, 09:52 AM
Hey girl, well first of all it's not sad by any means that you haven't had a boyfriend yet. A boyfriend doesn't validate you and you're still a very young girl... That's not the point though, is it? Anyway, I think that you've liked this boy for too long to not have him know your feelings. I think you should get closer to him and then tell him how you feel, who knows maybe he will like you back. I liked this one guy for two years with barely talking to him and then one day I just flirted with him a lot and told him I liked him and guess what... he liked me too. So don't be so sure that things won't go north, and even if he says he doesn't feel the same way, at least you'll know it and you won't create fantasy scenarios in your mind. It's a lot easier to get over someone once you know how they really feel. You sound like a sincere person and I've been where you are. Just tell him, the sting will hurt if that's not the case, but you'll be lifting a huge weight off your shoulders.
rockchick182
Nov 21, 2009, 05:01 PM
Hey, I know EXACTLY what you are going through, because its happened to me several times before. I fell for my best friend, he was really nice to me, and because of that I had a crush on him for about a year. But because I began to have stronger feelings for him, I began to speak to him less and less because I was afraid that he wouldn't like me back, and on top of that it would ruin our friendship. But now a few years on, I have found someone, and it did begin like it did with my best friend:
-Being to scared to talk to him
-Ignoring him/staying away from him
This guy was a really good friend of mine before I began to like him anyway, and again I felt it would ruin our friendship. I had had enough of it all, and one day (and I know this may sound weird but it really works, trust me) I went to my mums and spoke to her about it. She told me to just go up to him, in front of his friends and tell him how I feel. At the time I thought she was being sarcastic, but then a few days later when I saw him with his friends, I marched right up to his face, pushing past his friends, and told him straight. As soon as I said it I knew I'd done the most embarrassing and scariest thing in my life, everyone was looking at me! I walked away and began to tremble because I felt so stupid, but then he came running after me and stopped me and told me that he also felt the same way but was too scared to show it. And from then on we have been going out.
In all honesty, I would suggest to do the same, I know its hard and I know it can be scary, but just put your mind to it and stick with it, this boy you like could end up liking you back. (But if he has a girlfriend, do wait, otherwise it could cause BIG problems)
Best of luck to you :) xx
iloveedward
Nov 25, 2009, 09:12 PM
I don't have much to say, because the people who answered before me pretty much said everything I was going to. Haha. I just wanted to say that I went through what you're going through, and I got over it. I'm almost 20, and I was in love with one of my best guy friends all 4 years of high school. I never told him, (mainly because I actually dated his best friend. Haha. It was just a mess) But anyway. We went off to separate colleges, and we're still friends, but I only see him on school vacations. I won't lie and say I don't wonder "what could happen if..." but I don't think about him as much as I used to. I've learned that I have to let everything work the way it's supposed to, and if by some twist of fate we're supposed to be together, we will. I know it hurts to love someone who seemingly doesn't love you, but the only thing I have to say is IT WILL PASS. Just know that you're not alone, and though it seems like the end of the world now, things will get better. :)
I know that's not very helpful, but I just wanted you to know that you CAN get through this. Be strong. And good luck! God Bless. :)