My husband and I were approached by a friends daughter who was at the time 16 and pregnant. She had no idea who the father was due to her sexual conduct and decided to let us adopt the baby. We have been raising availee as our daughter for over a yr. with very little contact from the mother or her family. She was too busy with friends and what not to care much about visitation which really is why she gave her up and financially. Well rite before our final hearing she changed her mind because she found out her friend was pregnant and they think its fun to raise their kids together. Now, we were granted ex parte custody but the fight is on.
Her family has an extensive history with children services that is not good and other problems with the law. She also is still in high school and has no license or job. And no means of supporting her self or a child for that matter. And we can since been ordered for her to have visitation which really is prying my daughter off me to go to her biological mom and then they sit there and availee stares at her and then when its done she runs to me and latches onto me. Now, csb and the guardiem at litem is on our side also I have affadavit from pediatrician who knows the family history and to prove that availee is well taken care of medically. So my question is what are our chances of keeping our little girl we've bonded with and been raising for over a yr since she was born.

What does your attorney say about this?

Your chances are probably pretty good with a good family law attorney.

What basis did you have the child under in the first place ? Im asking because it sounds like it wasn't adoption. More like guardianship ? Normally adoptions don't take more then 1 year unless there are severe problems. And with all this time passing the father will have to be involved at some point. He may have to be found to give up his rights too.
What's going on in this case ?

Califdad raised some of the questions I was going to ask. Another factor is where you live as laws differ.

I'm wondering if the length of time its taken has to do with trying to find the father. I can't imagine any court granting an adoption without trying to get the father's sign off. The mother would have to list every potential father who would have to be tested to determine paternity.

But with CSB and the GAL on your side, I doubt if the bio mom will be able to stop an adoption.

What does your attorney say about this?

Your chances are probably pretty good with a good family law attorney.

He said we have to prove unfitness but the fact that she's 17 in high school, no job, no license and no means of support should rule her unfit? And that this family has a very long negative history with csb. And that though I have not evidence that she does drugs but I have evidence that her mother and her new husband do. I have it on video tape.

Califdad raised some of the questions I was going to ask. Another factor is where you live as laws differ.

I'm wondering if the length of time its taken has to do with trying to find the father. I can't imagine any court granting an adoption without trying to get the father's sign off. The mother would have to list every potential father who would have to be tested to determine paternity.

But with CSB and the GAL on your side, I doubt if the bio mom will be able to stop an adoption.

Well I'm not sure why it took so long. Csb says it normally takes a year of the adoptive parents having custody before they'll rule it for an adoption. And as far as the father, there are several that are mentioned and they searched the putative father registery and posted something in the newspaper for 13 weeks. Everyone knew she was pregnant and nobody stepped forward. But when they set up our placement hearing the court ruled that was enough evidence about the father. The bio mom still claims she has no idea who it is,

What basis did you have the child under in the first place ? Im asking because it sounds like it wasnt adoption. More like gaurdianship ? Normally adoptions dont take more then 1 year unless there are severe problems. And with all this time passing the father will have to be involved at some point. He may have to be found to give up his rights too.
Whats going on in this case ?

According to csb and the atty that handled the adoption we had to have our homestudy done before they could agree to the placement of the adoption. Then once they agreed to it then we proceed to finalize the adoption. That's what I'm understanding from this. Also, she is claiming not to know who the father is. She told the courts today that she went to some party with a friend out of state and had sex with some boy and supposedly she asked the friend if she remembers who she was with but the friend said no because she was too busy with her own boyfriend to notice. So I'm not really sure. But recently I have heard from several outsiders that know the bio mom and she has brought up some names but she is choosing not to tell the court. Now I've met several of the guys she dated and they are all 15 or 16 boys and several of them deal drugs. And I'm sure that's why none of them have stepped up because they don't want to deal with this situation.

OK, that's why I said where you are is important. Apparently, by going though csb it takes longer than going through a private adoption (but probably a lot cheaper). She may not know who the father actually is, but there is a window of time where she conceived. She has to have some idea who she had sex with during that period. Even if she was passed around to the entire football team. Then she has them to name. But yes the law does provide a way to try and find the father. If you show a good faith effort to do so, that is sometimes enough.

I also want to point out that if you cannot prove her unfit, it doesn't MATTER that she is 17 and in high school.

I know LOTS of teenagers who had children in high school--or even junior high!

Being 17 doesn't make you unfit--nor does not having a job (think about that--stay at home moms would automatically be ruled unfit, as would those who are homeless, or just lost their job, or are on the Welfare system because they don't make ENOUGH).

Drugs though--that's a different story.

Make sure you keep doing whatever your lawyer tells you to do.