Hey all...

I am feeling horrible n terribly depressed for over 4 years...

4 years ago: my mum passed away, she had depression and she took her life. I was devastated. Till today my dad still misses her a lot. And the once happy family just isn't the same again.

1.5 years ago: I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years. He cheated on me. I broke up with him but I was terribly hurt. He was my first love and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. We went through quite a bit together eg; my mums passing and I had a really hard time during my university days. I have decided to cut all contacts. 6 months into the break up he started calling me a lot but I NEVER PICK UP HIS CALLS BECAUSE I HAVE GIVEN UP ON HIM. He is currently with that girl who broke us up.

during this 1.5 years of singlehood: I have a best friend. But about 6 months ago I have decided to give her up because she doesn't really care for me anymore. She told me that every of her weekend she has to spend it with her boyfriend. But strangely she will hang out with her new friends during weekends and not bother about me. Every time when I have new friends and am going to somewhere interesting I will ask her along but it is never the other way around.

I saw a few guys during my 1.5 years of singlehood like just go out for dates and stuff.
But just nothing really became anything serious. I do feel lonely at times and I don't know what to do about it =(


career: I graduated about 1.5 years now. I work really hard like for 13 hrs a day because my job is really demanding. I am generally OK with working long hours but the most depressing thing is, my bosses does not appreciate my hard work. They gave me an bad review saying I should be more proactive and spend more time at work. I am just a junoir in my industry and there is a lot of stuff which I do not know. I come back to work during weekends too. I really want to give up my career =( its too depressing for me. I wake up every morning and I just feel like I do not want to go to work.

my family is depressing, my relationship is depressing,work is even more depressing


I don't really know what I should do anymore...

Always keep your head up. Everyone has their ups and downs in life. Recovering from these experiences will only make you stronger. Try reading some books: Building Self-Esteem: A Self-Help Guide (http://www.athealth.com/Consumer/disorders/self-esteem.html)

Try getting professional help, such as a counsellor or therapist.

Sounds like you have lost your joy and love for life...

You have had a bad few years,and have been let down... have you received any councilling?

Its your life,and you only get one... what would you like to do?

Retrain? A new career?

Pack it all up and travel?

I do want to pack it all up and go to another country. But my dad won't follow me. I am the closest to him and he asked me if I am going to leave him all alone here. I don't want to do this because it is going to hurt him a lot. I know he is very lonely too without my mum.

What age are you?

I am 26 this yr...

The think is,at some stage in your life you have to make a decision on what you need to do,for your happiness..

I understand,you dad is lonely,and you feel responsible for him,but I bet if you really told him how you were feeling he may think differantly...

How about travelling for 2 or 3 months... get a work visa? If may be enough time for you to learn about you and find your joy,and time for him to learn how to cope without you..

You can put a plan is place for him,involve family members,your very young to be feeling this old... and it's a lot of responsibility... a job,really at the end of the day is to help buy food,and shelter,and clothes,if your not career driven right now,maybe a break is what you need.

Nobody is controlling your life and you make it as good as you want it to be. As depressing your past was, there is no reason to continue to get depressed. You can take steps to stop that.

Do you go to the gym often? If you take care of your body, you will feel more confident and secure.

As for socializing, start with a smile in the workplace. It will make a tremendous difference. Invite people out, girls, boys. People love when you invite them and they will return the favor. Are you also part of an activity or do you volunteer? It's a great way to meet people.

I think what you need is to meet people and get more friends. From then, when you are truly happy, you will find someone.

Hi, lovepolis!

So, what sort of good things are happening in your life, please?

Thanks!

Hey lovepolis!! You seem to living a sad life day in and day out.. I understand! A mum who passed away, a BF who cheated on u, a friends who doesn't care for you anymore, and a bad boss... I understand that life seems so unfair for u... but lovepolis, I want you to know that you are NOT ALONE... when you look around you, you will find people in a worse condition than you!

Just because a few people mistreated you, don't give up hope.. the worl is also full of lovely people... Its up to you to chooose the right ones and leave the rest... Give life a big smile... wake up every morning and tell yourself "I am gonna be the best in whataver i do today"... and live it... when someone treats you bad just say "God bless"... just stay at peace withyourself...

If possible, try to visit a church, and pray for a while. You'll get enormouse peace from the inside! I am sorry, I don't know if you're xtian... but this works for me!

Take care... Love yourself first... you are the best you can be, only if you take life by its horns and control it!

Go on a long vacation and go on dates. Away from your family, too. If after a long vacation, you still feel this way about your life and family, do move out and get counseling. In addition, if your job makes you sick and depressed go find some other job that you think would make you happy and feel appreciated. If you don't find the right job at first, try and try again. However, if you decided to stick it out and bear with it, you may find that at the end all the hard work may or may not pay up at the end.

Read up on ZEN and the Art Of Happiness
Some times this world just isn't right for some people that was your mom it doesn't HAVE to be you,you are in charge of your own vessel.