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View Full Version : Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't


Silly Me
Nov 13, 2009, 01:34 PM
I keep reading over and over "I slept with him and then he lost interest".

Does anybody ever actually fall in love and get married anymore?

It seems like the women of this country are just perpetual losers in a never ending fight for their sexual favors. We have become "sex on tap", as Rabbi Shmuley would say. It seems like guys will tell any lie, weave any deception, crush any spirit of love, just for this one moment of physical pleasure.

As a woman, it is very hard for me to understand why men throw the baby out with the bathwater. Why my vagina is of great value (but just for a while!) than my spirit and my heart, which are about as valuable to my darling... as yesterday's newspaper.

Does anybody ever win at this bull game?

dream11207
Nov 13, 2009, 02:02 PM
I feel your pain sister! You are valid in your beliefs.

slapshot_oi
Nov 13, 2009, 02:03 PM
Sounds like you ladies have been dating Mr. Wrong.

We ask similar questions about women, but we don't expect an answer. I've learned to just accept it.

2ndTime
Nov 13, 2009, 10:29 PM
If you want to meet the Mr. Right, you should not put out right away. You should date and see what kind of a person he is first, talk about the values, then if you are really ready and if you know if he is really ready for a relationship, then proceed to the intimacy. After married to a jerk for a long time and divorce, dated few guys who've only wanted booty for a short time, I've found a wonderful guy who've at first started with a friendly walking partner and turned into 5 year committed relationship.

I wish
Nov 14, 2009, 07:59 AM
Check out this sticky: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/parenting/having-children-before-you-ready-399072.html

s_cianci
Nov 14, 2009, 08:12 AM
There's an old saying ; "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Men will get away with whatever you women let them get away with. The same works in reverse. Women aren't blameless either and do their own share of game playing. But likewise, they can only get away with what we men let them get away with. I'm sorry if this seems a little harsh or jaded but I'm trying to make a point. If you want a meaningful, loving, committed relationship, then keep your pants on until you get one. And in the interest of women everywhere I suggest you share that advice with every female you know.

Silly Me
Nov 16, 2009, 09:16 AM
There's an old saying ; "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Men will get away with whatever you women let them get away with. The same works in reverse. Women aren't blameless either and do their own share of game playing. But likewise, they can only get away with what we men let them get away with. I'm sorry if this seems a little harsh or jaded but I'm trying to make a point. If you want a meaningful, loving, committed relationship, then keep your pants on until you get one. And in the interest of women everywhere I suggest you share that advice with every female you know.


I guess that's why I named this thread "Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't"!

Because I HAVE tried the route of NOT going to bed with them. I'm very sorry to tell you that it did not work. They simply got rid of me.

And may I ask you, did you sleep with your wife before marriage?

ThehopelessGuy
Nov 16, 2009, 04:48 PM
lol I kind of want to say... your fault...

if your too dumb to know when someone's playing you its always your fault (this goes to men and women)

learn the first time and don't do it again...

"dont open your legs like you open you mouth to say hi, until they hang off a 6 story balcony to ask you out." - my sis

I know that's too hard core... but I did it! =)

jmjoseph
Nov 16, 2009, 05:09 PM
lol i kinda want to say... your fault...

if your too dumb to know when someones playing you its always your fault (this goes to men and women)

learn the first time and dont do it again...

"dont open your legs like you open you mouth to say hi, until they hang off a 6 story balcony to ask you out." - my sis

i know thats too hard core... but i did it!! =)

Was this quite necessary? You know that this is how the game is played nowadays.

What do you "learn the first time"? If you read her post, you can see that she has tried it both ways. So what is your point, "Balcony Boy"? - me

Silly Me
Nov 17, 2009, 06:19 AM
lol i kinda want to say... your fault...

if your too dumb to know when someones playing you its always your fault (this goes to men and women)

learn the first time and dont do it again...

"dont open your legs like you open you mouth to say hi, until they hang off a 6 story balcony to ask you out." - my sis

i know thats too hard core... but i did it!! =)

By your logic... ANYTHING than a man can get by with? Is just all right. So, if you could get by with robbing a bank... and you would NEVER get caught or have any kind of consequences... then it would be all right to do that. And if you could murder someone undetected, it would be okay to do it. And it would be their fault, since they were too innocent to stop it from happening.

Sorry, I totally don't buy it. And you never answered my question.

dream11207
Nov 17, 2009, 06:34 AM
lol i kinda want to say... your fault...

if your too dumb to know when someones playing you its always your fault (this goes to men and women)

learn the first time and dont do it again...

"dont open your legs like you open you mouth to say hi, until they hang off a 6 story balcony to ask you out." - my sis

i know thats too hard core... but i did it!! =)

Don't listen to that... it's harsh and insensitive and that person is just trying to build up their own ego when really it's unrealistic. Some guys, not all, trick girls into thinking they want a relationship (or telling a girl what they want to hear) when they really just want to get you in bed. It just recently happened to me. It's ty but it's not the norm! Just remember there are good guys out there and you will find one... don't beat yourself up about this. It happens to the best of us.

ThehopelessGuy
Nov 18, 2009, 02:20 AM
OK I don't know where you get "anything than a man can get by with" and all the other crap from me saying harden your filter and don't someone who you don't know truly loves you, but I will say this.

Guys AND girls play this game, it's a shame that people don't have the integrity and pride anymore to only "make love" with the person you truly care for anymore it's a pitty... from people wanting sex from rebounds to pure boredum to straight up swingers... its a shame. The best way to AVOID these people is to set a.. in lack of a better work Peramiters (spell check?) for you self you know.. people call them red flags now a days, things that you do to limit yourself from things back fireing at you... marriges and relations get pushed to fast, and things get ruined... yea I know when your head over heels for someone that urge is so damned hard to resist... now of course you get these people who don't care...

And to your "Why my vagina is of great value (for a while)" my first girl I was with only liked me for my "sword" the only guy in school that could pleasure her... and after a while I new this wasn't right... a friendship was needed... to fill the gap.. and her premiscuies ways were not right... I was far too young and had no one to tell me what I was doing was wronge... so I understand your "why my sex is the only usefull part about me"

The game is like a disease... two people start it, breake it up, rebound off other people who are innocent.. then the innocents want rebound and something to fill the gap, some people get seriously mest up and do terrible things to others.. and so on and so on... so the Bull as you say goes along forever until someone says "No" that's why I say... lrn from the mistake and don't do it again...

ThehopelessGuy
Nov 18, 2009, 02:23 AM
OK I don't know where you get "anything than a man can get by with" and all the other crap from me saying harden your filter and don't someone who you don't know truly loves you, but I will say this.

Guys AND girls play this game, it's a shame that people don't have the integrity and pride anymore to only "make love" with the person you truly care for anymore it's a pitty... from people wanting sex from rebounds to pure boredum to straight up swingers... its a shame. The best way to AVOID these people is to set a.. in lack of a better work Peramiters (spell check?) for you self you know.. people call them red flags now a days, things that you do to limit yourself from things back fireing at you... marriges and relations get pushed to fast, and things get ruined... yea I know when your head over heels for someone that urge is so damned hard to resist... now of course you get these people who don't care...

And to your "Why my vagina is of great value (for a while)" my first girl I was with only liked me for my "sword" the only guy in school that could pleasure her... and after a while I new this wasn't right... a friendship was needed... to fill the gap.. and her premiscuies ways were not right... I was far too young and had no one to tell me what I was doing was wronge... so I understand your "why my sex is the only usefull part about me"

The game is like a disease... two people start it, breake it up, rebound off other people who are innocent.. then the innocents want rebound and something to fill the gap, some people get seriously mest up and do terrible things to others.. and so on and so on... so the Bull as you say goes along forever until someone says "No" that's why I say... ppl who get traped in this.. don't lrn from the mistake and ignore the problems and keep doing it.

ThehopelessGuy
Nov 18, 2009, 02:25 AM
Well damn... that's lag for you...

slapshot_oi
Nov 18, 2009, 02:16 PM
The OP's right, you're logic is flawed.

"dont open your legs like you open you mouth to say hi, until they hang off a 6 story balcony to ask you out." - my sis

i know thats too hard core... but i did it!! =)
So, you hung off a ledge six-stories high just to be with someone, or you made someone do that for you? Sounds like paranoia to me. Whoever would do that obviously doesn't think too highly of themselves and is more likely to be taken advantage of.

jaime90
Nov 18, 2009, 03:55 PM
Firstly, guys aren't out there to ruin people's lives- at least not all of them. And in their defense, women jump headlong into a relationship with ALL their emotions involved- they think with their feelings, not with their heads. That's why so many women come out of bad relationships with thinking, "what happened?! He was the ONE!" No, he wasn't- clearly we don't know enough about people before we get involved with them..? (I'm a woman, so this isn't a male-power speech, okay? I'm just saying... )

The best thing to do- (and I say this ALL THE TIME) As a woman- and a man (men get heartache too, believe it or not) you need to protect your heart. In my opinion, the best way to do that is to become friends with someone before you decide to go any further. Oh yeah, and save sex until you're actually serious. For the record, I wanted to save sex for marriage, that didn't happen- but hindsight is clearer, and I wish I had. I'm engaged to my one and only, he was my first kiss, my first hug, my first boyfriend, my first time,- he's everything and I gave my WHOLE heart to him- not a torn up mess. How about people try slowing down instead of feeling the pressure to have sex.. That could help.