Thanks to this board I went along to see my GP yesturday , and after a good chat ( well more being hysterical and aking no sense at all) he suggested I may be Bipolar - I did not know if to laugh or cry.
I at least have a reason to help me understand my weird behavior but I am too scare to tell anyone - friends or family.
I have been referred to a specialist who will advise of the best course of treatment , the GP mentioned Lithium but as I am pregnant he wanted a further opinion.
Thank you to all who advised I go to GP.

Hi, mumtosix!

So, how do you feel right now, please?

Thanks!

Being diagnosed(for me) was a freedom from the chaos I was living in,all the mood swings,the sleepless nights,the angry days,the whole spectrum of bipolar disorder.

Being pregnant will make medicating you a difficult time,your body is already going through changes and medicating can prove tricky,once you are through the pregnancy though,things can change for the better with meds.

Counseling can do you wonders,just the educational factor alone can bring you some peace of mind as to the diagnosis.

If I can answer any questions you have as far as bipolar,let me know,I am open to most anything.

Best of luck,
Ken

I am so happy to hear that you did go to your GP after our conversation here. As you know, I had a feeling that this is what your diagnosis would be from the symptoms you explained.

Whoa... Lithium? Run from that doctor and see another. Lithium is some hard core medication that should be used as a last resort. It's definitely not one to be started on as you have to have your blood levels and Lithium levels monitored carefully for toxicity.

I feel exhausted - ashamed - stupid - relief - confused and terrified all in one.
I had a visit from my health visitor today who is going to hurry on the specialist seeing me as I only told the doctor a little ( I find it hard talking to strangers)
I have no idea about lithium or any other mediction I just assume the GP knows what he is taalking about.
I was more open and honest with her as she knows every aspect about my past.
I even told her about the nosies I hear and how terrified I feel that someone is folloing or trying to hurt me , she was lovely but I just don't know much at he moment.

Don't begin doubting this diagnosis,have faith in the professionals.

As J-9 said,lithium needs to be monitored for therapeutic levels and toxicity,but it is a natural occurring chemical of the body,everyone has lithium in them,some need more to regulate their balances.

The feelings of paranoia and voices,these are signs of bipolar,if you want to find relief from these things and lead a better life you'll have to open up to a professional,a counselor,therapist,psychiatrist,etc, only by facing these fears and exposing them will you get relief.

Medications are necessary in some circumstances,yours might be one of these.

Hope you see the specialist soon:)

I know I have to be honest and open and my health visitor has asked if she can come to at least my first meeting with the specialist as I trust her 100%. She works in the same building and they know each other so she is going to fill in a few details so I do not have to explain evrything from scratch.
As for medication anything I guess has to be better than feeling this way.
I do have kidney problems and aftr reading a little on lithium maybe I won't be given it.

Hi I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder in 1992 when I was 18. There are some good meds out there lithium is just one there are many different ones. However I was told by my pysch doc if I ever got pregnant he would take me off my meds. I currently take lithium, celexa and serequel. He reccomends during pregnancy electric shock treatments because they pose little risk to the fetus. It sounds scarier then it is. Shock treatments have been around for a very long time and are relatively safe however after treatments I have heard you can have a small amount of memory loss. I am not pregnant but have been trying to get pregnant with my long term boyfriend for over a year. I am aware that pregnancy can make the moodswings of bipolar disorder worse. There are a lot of articles on the web about bipolar and pregnancy a good one can be found at the NAMI website I think it is NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness - Mental Health Support, Education and Advocacy (http://www.nami.org). I do know that some meds during pregnancy are safer then others esp some of the anti-pyschotics which can reduce mania. Good luck wish I could be more help.

I defo think you should tell your family and friends, so that you don't have have to go through this alone, telling them will hopefully help you come to terms with it and learn how to cope with it.

At least you now know what it is and your seeking help!