Ok, here's a little background story. My husband had a child with a woman in 2003. He did not see the child & the mother lost custody. She regained custody & the father began to see the child in 2005. No visitation/ custody orders were made. The mother then moved away with the child, leaving behind no number or any way to get in touch with her. After 2 years, in 2007, the mother reappeared via MySpace, married to a different man than the husband she had when she moved away. The father of the child was happy to have communication. However, the mother wanted her new husband to adopt their son. The father refused. The mother placed an ad in a newspaper for an 'Unknown Father,Unknown Location' even though the father's name is on the birth certificate. The father found the ad, hired a lawyer, & contested the adoption. The adoption was not granted but the lawyer never took the steps to file for visitation. This is in the state of Alabama. The mother then moved away with the child again. She now lives in Georgia. The father could not afford to pay for his attorney anymore because even though she never did anything, she charged $3000. The father has since tried to reason with the mother but she does not want him to see the child. The father did consider letting the husband adopt the child but decided against it. The father decided to file for legitamation in Georgia but first wanted to again, reason with the mother so the child would not have to endure a DNA test. However, today a Sheriff served him with a summons for adoption by the husband in Georgia. The papers state that the father has not tried to communicate with the child since 2005. The father has continually asked for visitation since 2007 & contested the first adoption in 2008. We have proof of it all.

My first question is - Is she allowed to try to have the child adopted in Georgia after she already tried & was denied in Alabama?

Second question - Will the adoption be denied when the father shows proof of the first contestment & the saved e-mails since 2007?

Third question - Does any one know of a way to do this without a lawyer? Or if the state of Georgia will appoint him a lawyer? He can not afford one at the moment.

Any help or suggestions would be appreciated. We just can't believe that she would lie on paper, after being sworn legally to tell the truth. Surely that has to be against the law, right?

I moved this from adoption to Family Law because really what you are looking for are the legal aspects of adoption.

I would not EVER recommend going into a custody or adoption case without a lawyer. You WILL lose if the other person has a lawyer.

My husband just recently sent in a contestment for the adoption of his son by the mother's husband. He did this without a lawyer & the County Clerk said that once the paperwork wad filed, a hearing would be set. My question is what is going to be done at the hearing? Will my husband plead his case for why he should remain his son's legal father? We are going in this with out a lawyer. I know, some one will post that we need to get a lawyer but we were given 30 days to respond and we just do not have the money for the retainer fee. The clerk's office said a lawyer was not necessary so my husband did it himself. We have plenty of proof of his attempts to have a relationship with his son. The crazy thing is that the mother tried to have her husband adopt their son last year in another state. My husband hired a lawyer and contested that adoption. A court date was set but we were not present. Our lawyer was present but all she told us was that the judge said the matter needed to be handled between the two parties. The adoption was not granted yet my husbands lawyer never made a move to file for visitation. The mother moved away with his son again and we only now know her location because she is trying to have him adopted again! Therefore, we don't know what went on in the first contest hearing. Do we bring proof of my husbands attempts to see his son? We included all that in the contestment because the Petition for Adoption says my husband has not made an attempt to communicate with the child in four years. Obviously a lie because he contested the adoption last year and has spoken with the mother through e-mail many times, asking to see him. Anyway, that's not the point. We were just wondering what to expect at the adoption hearing?


Oh yeah, the hearing is going to be in Georgia whereas the first hearing was in Alabama. The cases are separate though. We honestly don't think the lawyer who drew up their papers knows about the adoption hearing in Alabama. If he/she does, I don't think they could say my husband hasn't tried to communicate.


Any thoughts or suggestions would be helpful. Thanks.

My husband was only given 30 days to file his plea. Work has been slow for him lately and we honestly can not afford a lawyer's retainer fee. We would hire a lawyer if we could but the clerk of that county said there was no legal aid to help. We did file the contestment ourselves.

Thank you for the advice. Many people have told us the same. Did you have any thoughts on the other questions I asked?

What do you mean "so the child wouldn't have to endure a DNA test"? It's a relatively simple test. If seeing the child is really something that's important than a dna test needs to be done and the father needs to get into court already and ask for visitation. No excuses. The mother is clearly unreasonable. To continue trying to reason with her is a foolish waste of time that could be better spent getting to know the child.

We are aware of that but he is already 6. He at one point knew a foster father as Daddy, then my husband as Daddy, then she went through 2 husbands who he has called Daddy. We just felt it would be easier for him if she would sit him down and explain it to him rather than them being ordered to come in for a DNA test. Another reason for trying to reason with her is that we did not have her address. We only have it now because they sent the petition for the adoption.

Father had done everything wrong,

He needed to years ago, get a custody order ( to include a visit order) from the court. And a court order for child support.

He will have to appear in court and hope the judge believes him that he has tried to contract, copies of letters, copies of emails, copies of Facebook contacts. And copies of phone bills showing telephone calls to them.

With that evidence he can show he has tried contact.

He will need to explain why in all these years he has never filed for visits though the courts.

And the last thing he wants to ever do is try to "reason" with the child's mother, that gives her all the power and allow her to lie, cheat and use child as a weapon.

Do you really want her to be the one to explain all that to him? I get the impression she isn't the most stable or honest person (she lost custody, got it back, went through two husbands, and is trying for adoption again after already being denied it). It would probably be easier for him if his actual father sat down and explained it to him and was able to stay a steady part of his life (if he has a court order he would be able to enforce visitation and be a regular part of his son's life. Children need stability. The new dad every so often just cannot be good). Take advantage of having her address now and figure out a way to get a lawyer and get into court for visitation.

Is he allowed to file for the legitimization process even though they have petitioned for the adoption? We asked the county clerk but we were told that she did not know. Should we wait for the adoption hearing or should he file now that he has her address?

You can expect their lawyer to try and trick you, to file a motion perhaps that you don't understand.

Their attorney will try and have any and all of your evidence throw out for various reasons if possible. You will find their attorney trying to make you sound like a dead beat who has never paid a penny to the child, did not call, visit or write. They will most likely LIE and say of course you knew where they were at.

You will need to present as much evidence of how you searched for the chld when you did now know where he was. Show any attempts to file for visit in the courts, attempts to have mother served with court papers but could not be found perhaps.

If you have had contact proof of contact, copies of letters, emails, Facebook comtacts, copies of phone bills showing calls to them.

Their lawyer is going to lie and they are gong to lie that you never have tried to use any of your rights.

They will most likely try and prove you are trying to stop the child from being happy with a man who wants to be her dad.

Thank you. I am pretty sure that they will lie. The whole Petition was pretty much a lie. We do have proof of everything. They have moved more than once since they have moved to Georgia. They have always been unlisted as well. Will the judge allow me to state my husbands case? He's not too big on the legal stuff and I could present it in a more appealing way if I would be allowed to speak.

He should be filing for visitation, I have to assume that legitimization has already been proved ( is he not on the birth certificate? ) there is nothing to prove if he is on the birth certificate

You need to counter sue for everything you want, visits, ( in GA you have to submit a parenting plan)

Well he is on the birth certificate & is considered to be the legal father in the state of Alabama.. Apparently, in Georgia none of that matters until he does the legitimation process.

Will the judge allow me to state my husbands case? He's not too big on the legal stuff and I could present it in a more appealing way if I would be allowed to speak.

Probably not. You can probably sit at the table with him, but I doubt if you will be allowed to act as his representative.

The problem here is that you are going up against a lawyer trying to do it on your own. Hopefully the judge will be more sympathetic towards him because of that. But he is going in there with 2 srikes against him. However, you you may have enough evidence to show the mother is lying and acting in contempt of a court order (the original order for visitation).

As for the other case, you NEED to get a full transcript of that case and the judges order. You NEED to know exactly what went on in that cae.

I've also merged these two threads as they are the same issue.

If peternity was never legally established that's the first thing that has to happen. How did you become aware of this second adoption proceeding? Is it with the same husband?

Yes, it is with the same husband. A sheriff delievered the petition to him at our house.

A DNA test was never done. Back in 2004, a child support court date was set. My husband,stupidly, did not show and was therefore named the legal father by dafualt judgment. He was also added to the birth certificate. A second date was set and neither he nor the mother showed. Therefore, the whole case was dropped. The mother also under oath stated that my husband has never been named the legal father by a final paternity court order. Him being named the father & added to the birth certificate is a court order right?

Well it depends on how a "final paternity court order" is defined. But since your husband is on the birth certificate and also named the legal father in a judgment, she can't get an adoption approved unless he agrees.

Well according to these papers & the laws stated within it, his consent is not necessary if 1)he has not made an attempt to communicate with the child, 2)support has not been paid as ordered by law, or 3)petitioner can present evidence that the father has abandoned the child.

They claim to have all three of those reason for a TPR. Now,we can show evidence that none of these are true.

That's the point, they can claim he hasn't done those things, but can't prove it. Since you can prove that he has tried. So again if he doesn't consent they can't put the adoption through.

Ok, Thanks! That's what we like to hear! As far as swearing to all that stuff under oath, can they get in trouble? We thought that they would for placing that 'Unknown father' ad last year but they didn't. I'm not hoping that they all go to jail or anything but I would like for them to realize that it is not okay to lie under oath.

Ask the judge to prosecute them for perjury

Well we have a court date set in January which means that the adoption did not go through automatically, thankfully. So we have a shot. Any suggestions on what he should bring to the table? Should he just get up & tell his side of the story or should we try to bring evidence of her role in the non-communication?

You should bring CONCRETE evidence. Bring copies of the original action to show that he responded. Bring physical evidence of attempts to contact and to see the child.

My husband is the biological father of a child whose step-father is trying to adopt him. My husband contested this adoption & has a court date set for Jan 4. He has not physically seen his child since 2005. The mother disappeared with him when he was 2 & re-married. We were never able to find them. However, in 2007, she reappeared married to a different man & wanted my husband to allow him to adopt their son. He refused & he has been trying to convince her to allow him to see his son. I know the big issue is that the court is going to want to know why he never did anything legal about it. We have never been able to afford to. We thought that she would come around to the idea. She tried to have him adopted last year with out my husbands consent but we hired a lawyer & contested it. It wasn't granted & the mother moved away out of state again immediately. We have not known where they were but we have kept in contact with her through the computer. We spent every bit of money we had on that lawyer and yet, the mother still managed to run off with him again. When the mother continually refused to allow communication, we asked for her address because we were going to get a new lawyer. She would not give us the address. She then went & filed a petition for her husband to adopt the child again, saying we have not tried to communicate with them in 4 years. We have contested the petition without a lawyer & we have the court date set for January.

My husband is really nervous about this since we will not have a lawyer to speak for him. What kind of hard questions are they going to ask him? I know their lawyer is going to try to make him look bad. Does any one know exactly what the judge is going to say & want to know? My husbands version of the story would be that she's crazy & keeps running off with him. That will not fly with a judge. I am trying to help him prepare for this court date since I will not be allowed to speak for him. Any one know any of the specifics they ask? He just wants to be allowed to see his son.

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Can some one please move my last post back to the adoption forum? I was not asking for legal advice. I wanted some input from someone who had been through the situation.

Sorry, but it looks like you are asking for legal advice. Also it will help people help you if they know the whole story.

So it stays here.

If a lawyer types up a motion to file & makes a typing error, such as typing Donnie instead of Dannie, should we have to pay for her to fix that? We did not supply her with the wrong name. She just typed it wrong.

Also, if the lawyer does not show up in court, should we have to pay for her services on that case? Here's the case - A man has a child who was adopted by his step father a year ago. The mother did not turn in the final adoption papers to the DHR. Therefore the bio father is still being charged child support. The mother decides that she wants back child support arrears from the bio father & also wants him to pay for the child's insurance. A court date is set. The bio father's lawyer does not show up for court & the mother is granted the child support arrears at her request. The father also receives a letter stating that he had a failure to appear in court. The lawyer did not tell the bio father that she did not go. He found out from the letter in the mail! My question is - should the father have to pay the lawyer for anything done with this case?

Any answers would be helpful. Tha attorney is saying he owes her money but I believe the lawyer should actually be refunding the father some money! Some one help me out. I need to be sure I am not incorrect before responding to her. Thanks!

Well first the bio should have went to court even if the lawyer was suppose to be there, since they had a court order to appear.

Next depends on what the payments were for, often court appearances are extra money, and was the original contract to court appearance, my last hiring of an attorney was paperwork only, and did not pay for appearance. So what was the agreement for.

Also on the type error, they should fix, ( it is saved on their computers normally and would require little if any work) but also to be honest most of the time, you can cross out the error, correct it and initial it and still submit it to court.

Also the person who hires the attorney is suppose to proof read it before they sign it to submit it.

So there is not enough info as to the original agreement, how much was paid, since just for writing up doc would be 1000 to 2000 often, and that 3000 to 5000 if they were to appear in court also. * and that is just retainers, and the attorney would submit a bill for hours against the retainers paid
Unless they agreed to just provide specific service for a set fee

The agreement was for her to do what is necessary for the set fee. Her fee was $200/hr. She told us not to appear in court on that date. We called ona Thursday to see what time we needed to be at the courthouse that Monday & she told us not to come. That court was cancelled. Then he got a letter saying he was set to pay child support & he failed to appear in court.

Yeah, on the typing error, it says it took 1.4 hours to revise it! That's over $200! According to the list of fees, she made copies & sent the first one out. It was when we proof read it that I found the mistake. I didn't think she sent out the first copy but according to her fees, she did.

Also, another thing I noticed was when she was our attorney, my husband asked her to file for visitation many times. (Not for the adopted child) She kept telling us that she could not get in touch the mothers attorney. According to her fees, she supposedly spoke with him about more than once. But she never filed for my husband because she said she couldn't get in touch with the other attorney.

Also, the day before my husband decided not to use her as his attorney anymore, they said we had a balance of $800. Now she is trying to say that we owe her $200. The only thing she did was close out the case & I know it doesn't cost $1000 to do that!

We've been thinking about going to the bar about it but we have no idea how to go about doing it. We spent $3500 & he still does not have visitation of his child.

Who moved this post? The lawyer errors are not on this same case. I do not need advise on this case. I just want advise on the money issue.