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View Full Version : Give me a sign.


none12345
Nov 1, 2009, 04:13 PM
Hey guys I don't know what's going on but I recently I can feel like I'm falling away and I'm starting to break. I need something or someone to keep me alive. Im starting to fall apart. I feel as if no one cares and empty inside like I'm already dead. Im no longer the same. I've been in the dark for so long and I don't know what to do anymores. I need some sort of a sign, anything will do to show me the way.

Anyway thanks for reading. I need some advice. Thanks.

Gemini54
Nov 2, 2009, 01:25 AM
What's brought this on? Why have you been in the dark?

I don't want to just type meaningless words of solace, so it would be good to know what has created this dark night of the soul for you.

If it's any consolation, many many people have been having a hard time recently - and I don't mean financially. I come across people, every day that are questioning their lives, looking into their souls, trying to find meaning.

I know I am struggling at the moment but I do try to make time in my life for the people that I care about. There ARE people that care, you just have to connect with them.

Anyway, tell a bit more about what is happening with you.

redhed35
Nov 2, 2009, 01:58 AM
hey none, I know you were feeling a little left out of the loop since you started college,has that improved?

as gemini said,I also don't want to type random words of solace... can you narrow down why your feeling like this?

amicon
Nov 2, 2009, 02:30 AM
Hey sorry you re not feeling too great- can you tell us a bit more please?

none12345
Nov 2, 2009, 08:02 AM
Hey guys, I don't know how to explain it more. I guess I just feel as if there is no purpose in living, and nothing to live for. It feels empty everyday and it feels like I'm just holding on barely to get through the day.

amicon
Nov 2, 2009, 08:08 AM
Maybe you should go see your doctor?
You could be a bit depressed.
You ve just started college is that right? That's a big change of life style.
Do you have friends to talk to?
I remember from previous posts that you talked about feeling lonely.
Talk to us and tell us more.
Take care.

none12345
Nov 2, 2009, 08:21 AM
Hey Amicon, yah I went to the doctors and they prescribed me some anti depressants only if I feel like I need some but I didn't get any. Yah I just started college, I have a couple of friends now. Im not sure if its because I'm lonely, I mean that could be the reason. But yah.

amicon
Nov 2, 2009, 08:27 AM
I don't know a lot about meds but maybe you should? Watching comedies that make you laugh your head off might help?
Sending you good thoughts.

redhed35
Nov 2, 2009, 08:33 AM
Is college working out OK none?

You know,its not for everyone...

If you can't pin point exactly what is getting you down,make a list... go through that list and tick off the areas that you think about or concern you the most... example... family,college,friends,a girlfriend,lonely,money... or just plain bla with everything!

Happens,even to the best of us.

Is there a college councillor on campus?

Going by your other posts it would seem even though your surrouned by people your still lonely... its a tough place to be in your head when that happens.

For me,what works when I'm feeling crap is I do the things that make me feel good,when I'm good,so to speak... I love the mountains,so when I'm having a bad day and I just want to not be,I force myself to go to the mountains,it's a car drive away,but somewhere in my head I know it works and ill feel better.

Another I'm going to say.and it's a little out there,but you may be missing human contact,a hug,the physical contact of another being...
I don't know how your fixed for time,but if you can volunteer in a animal hospital or shelter,caring,petting and receiving affection can help release those feel good hormones...

Nothing like a waggy tail to put a smile of your face!

Other then that none, I'm out of ideas for now,but I will keep you in mind...

There's always a shoulder here for you,and for all its worth... hug.

none12345
Nov 2, 2009, 08:44 AM
I don't know exactly if college is working out, I mean my grades are all right but not horrible, but I have always wanted to major in music but my parents disapprove of that and their paying for my education so yah. Plus there are a lot of stress with meeting the deadlines and sometimes I don't feel like keeping up anymore.

There are lots of things that concern me lol but then again who doesn't have anything to be concern about. Not having girlfriend, friends aren't as reliable, school marks, family not giving the independence I seek, getting a good job, pursuing a career I'm happy in etc etc.

Yah seems like I'm surrounded by people but it just feels lonely sometimes, perhaps its not enough of a social life I am looking for. The last time I got a hug was like YEARS ago I even forgot when. I think I need one. I try to smile when I'm around others to not bring the bad mood but sometimes I can't help it and there's so much I can do until I start looking down again.

But I mean, just seems like I'm just another person with just problems except I'm complaining and no one else is. I don't even know why I am down, everything just feels so empty.

amicon
Nov 2, 2009, 08:46 AM
Can't rep you red but great ideas!

redhed35
Nov 2, 2009, 08:50 AM
None... it would seem your going in the wrong direction... your not happy because your going against the grain of what it is you want to achieve...

Do you write music?

Can you join a band,or form a band?

What would the name be?

What type of music do you like?

Where would you like to play?

If these questions excite you,and you can SEE yourself pursuing music,you need to find a compromise in your life...

In your by line you say the word survive... that all your doing... your not living...

none12345
Nov 2, 2009, 08:54 AM
Well, I write music all the time. I actually wanted to form a band and I know a few who do around the campus but I would like to just do solo stuff for now cause I'm not ready. I play the piano and guitar and took lessons for many years and now I'm taking vocal lessons. Kind of in the rock genre.

So yah I've actually been doing many stuff towards it. I don't think that's the problem though, I mean it could be. I think its some sort of inner conflict.

redhed35
Nov 2, 2009, 09:00 AM
Inner conflict?

How so?

Why do you think this?

Damn questions.. im just trying to help you reach a starting point...

none12345
Nov 2, 2009, 09:03 AM
I don't know myself. I guess I would like to know if I was to die, if anyone would really care I mean my family would. I just feel really dark lately and I want to hide behind the shadows. Anyway maybe its best if I don't think of it anymore.

redhed35
Nov 2, 2009, 09:13 AM
I've been there none,and I stayed in that place for quite sometime,the thing about it was only when I look back can I see how close to the edge I really was.

I had children,a home,money was good,but still the morbid feeling and thoughts pursued my days and nights.. I even made plans...

There was no one to talk with,no where to go... eventually I found my way to the gp... I just sat there... did not say a word.she offered me sleeping tablets,but I told her I would most likely take the lot,so she didn't do that...

What she did do was give me a number of a councillor... I refused meds,and I refused to live inside a bottle,so I talked and walked,and talked,and eventually talked my way out of that hell I was in... no one knew how close I was,I hid it well.

Perhaps none,its time to take a closer look at what's going on in your mind,not your brain...

Go back to the doctor.

Gemini54
Nov 2, 2009, 05:51 PM
If you can't pull yourself out of it and you don't know what it is - time to go talk to a good counselor.

I think you sound depressed - and I understand, because I've been there. Depression, although it's difficult, can be a way of finding yourself if you are able to see it as a process.

The thing that really worked for me was to bypass the intellectual part of my brain - I went to a really good kinesiologist who did body work on me for a couple of months and released what I was feeling through my body. If you don't feel like using a conventional counselor there are alternative practitioners that can really be of assistance.

What also worked was doing things I enjoyed. I had to force myself. Part of me didn't want to be with people, but I was always better after I had been. So, follow up on the music stuff. See who is round campus that wants to join you and just jam.

The other thing - get out into the fresh air. Get some sun and walk where there are trees and flowers. Or, go down to the beach, if one is close.

Amicon mentioned getting funny movies and having a laugh - great suggestion. It stops you thinking and gets you smiling. They say that even pretending to smile can make you feel better!

none12345
Nov 6, 2009, 10:29 PM
Hey guys, right now I just feel very sad and I don't know why. I think I might be depressed. I think its because I feel alone. Im the type of person that likes to be around people but I don't have much friends to be around so I'm always by myself.

Sometimes I just wonder what the purpose of living is and does it really matter if I live or not. I asked my friend and he told me a life you don't live is still lost but I don't see that for some reason.

I really don't know what's going on. Nothing good has ever happened to me, or at least I don't think it has. I might be blind to the good things but I seriously doubt that is the case. My life is such in the lows for so long and I've been waiting for some sort of miracle or sign to give me the strenth to live on.

But yah I think back to when I was younger. I used to have so many friends and everyone was around me. But one day my family and I moved to a different city and I lost touch with all my friends. It was the start of high school.

From that point on, I have stopped socializing as much as I used to and it has been harder to make friends, although I did make a few good friends and I have no idea what happened to them. Lost touch with them too. Myself esteemed has lowered and I don't feel comfortable anymore.

Now I have moved again to a different city for university. All the little progress I have made since I moved the first time has all vanished and I feel like I'm starting all over again. Perhaps I feel a little home sick and miss the usual things. Perhaps I don't like change and I don't adapt too well to change.

Anyway sorry I ran on, blah blah blah, I just had to get it out and tell this to someone. Right now I don't know exactly how I feel or where to go from here...

amicon
Nov 6, 2009, 10:55 PM
Go see your doctor again -and follow reds advice -find a councillor to talk to. You need some help with this.