My boyfriend and I have been off and on for a little over 2 years. The summer after graduation he and I decided that we loved each other so much and wanted to share our “first time” together. After that things just went way down hill. He rushed into getting engaged and I realized I was WAY too young to get married. I freaked out after learning that he was getting a ring…. Broke up with him and needed sometime to get my head together and went on vacation. I went to New York with my boss and his family (very close to all of them) my boyfriend does not like ANYONE that I work with. They always tell me that he is no good for me. So, when he found out where I was and who I was with he got very angry and started calling my family and everybody I was on the trip with. He was being very hurtful saying things like “I knew you were the kind of slut that would run off to sleep with that guy”.
When I returned home I was still very upset and mad at him. So, I tried Facebook typed out a very angry and cold hearted letter saying I never wanted see, talk, anything to him again. I sent the message and deleted him. After sometime he started text messaging me asking how I was doing and so on. I ignored everything. I was still very hurt and upset. Then his last attempt… he went on a date with a friend. Told me everything about the date. I started to get jealous but told myself to stay away.
Then everything that could possibly go wrong did. I had a check up with the doctor. They called my mother on accident and told her I was pregnant not knowing it wasn’t me. My parents freaked out. As soon as I found out I called him told him everything I knew about the situation. My hormone counts were very low. I was about 4 months along. We decided to give things another try and coming from a broken home myself that is not something I want to bring a baby into. So, I decided I made my choices so I would suck it up and marry him we tried to find a house to move into. That went wrong. I found a place that I liked very much and he said we would go look at it together instead he took his mother and sister to look at it while I was working. I told him that was something we should have done together. He said he understood. We continued looking for places and waited for my doctor appt. The week before my appt. I started feeling lots of pain and started a very heavy period. I called the doctor and she said that I probably lost the baby. Went to make sure and I had lost it. No I wasn’t ready for a baby but I was very upset. We decided that maybe it was a sign from God himself saying that we were meant to be together and decided to give another full hearted shot.
So, here I am about 4 months later feeling the same way I did before. I am really not ready for marriage and he says he is. His mother and I hate each other. She tells him all the time how terrible I am and how terrible my job and co-workers are (I’m a waitress). He listens to her sometimes and others I have to just wait for him to realize that he loves me again. I am very truly madly in love with him but I don’t know if I can keep doing this. I don’t want to hurt him again but I can’t lead him into thinking that I want more than I do. Am I just a train wreck or is there a logical way to handle this situation? P.S. Sorry this is so long!

Don't make a commitment to anything, for any reason, until you are sure that's what you want. There is no hurry, so staying out of this high pressure situation is for the best. If others don't understand your need for time, screw them all.

Getting married is not something you want to do, so don't do it. Just because you love this guy so much doesn't mean you have to do everything he want. You have to make a decision if you want to be married or not. You have reasons you don't want to get married so stick to your reasons.

Don't get married. And marrying for the baby wouldn't have done anything but cause more problems. You need to end this toxic relationship and get healthy on your own

Thank you everyone! I had a huge talk with him last night... I told him that if I didn't tell him this I would just end up resenting him in the long run. So I told him everything I was feeling. He was kind of hurt but said he understood. I don't know if I can end our relationship right now but maybe that's where we are heading. Thank you again for your input I really appreciate it!

I agree with everyone, I don't believe you are ready yet... all in good time and when you are ready you will know. Some people get married early others don't, doesn't mean anything, its just the way things are
Good luck to you