Hi guys..
I will be very honest and direct... we know each other for about 5 years and we were planng to marry however because of the economy problems and university and being with out job we couldn't marry and things got bad and she kept crying for months in front of me.(by the way we will in different countries now after we finished our university)
So now I have a good job.. life is expensive and I need 1 year to collect money... to get ready for marriage... how ever for the last 2 years things are going bad with her.. she keeps crying and I got really tired of it... lets make it short :) she asked for a break I told her OK.. just because this is what you want I kept calling her for 2 weeks and she is telling me and she doesn't feel her self in a break or what ever.. and I can call her any time I want.. and she calls me.. however this break idea came so meaningless to me... she talks some times good and some times bad with me according to her mood and that what I hates so much... however yesterday I talked to her on the phone.. she started saying break and I don't know what.. I told her... I will delete her phone number and everything regarding her... even email.. (she deleted me from her friends list before)... and the break will start... but I told her some stupid things.. no dating and no cheating.. but I told her I give you one week to think and I will think too.. she said make it 2 weeks... I told her OK.. on 15 of November we are supposed to talk and see what both of us thinks.. and here it goes.. for me it doesn't really matter I'm so successful in my job.. im in a place where no body in my age is... im 23 :) mep procuremenet engineer and she is 23 setting at home with out job... so for me I don't really care how it will go... just I hate the situation of being in the middel if I want to break up with her I will forget that she ever existed in this world :) tat simple and I will simply start dating... by the way we are almost married... I have a harsh heart and emotional heart.. I love her so much but that doesn't make any diffrence for me.. if it comes to my MAN side of me.. so it is the first day yet... I didn't miss her how ever I worked 4 hour over time which helped haha... so lets see I'm going to wait untel 15 of November if she wants the relation I can do it with my own rules for this relation ship and 1st rule is not to cry for missing me and not to make problems... if she doesn't want it.. she is more than welcome to move in her own way... so lets see the only mistake I did and that I was planing to do is to visit her in her country in holiday time which is 3 days... and I told her about it.. I think this gives me a disadvantage and made me like I want to come to solve it out... yes I love her but she can't step on me.. that simple.. how ever I told her I will come to figure out if you love me or not... THATS SOUNDS SO STUPID NOW... I remember last time she told me that she wants me to feal the same pain she felt by being far from me.. but I don't feal pain at all.. the problem my heart becomes so soft with her if she cries... so what do you think about the time limit I gave like 15 of November and does it work or not... because I don't want to waste my time on this stuff I mean relation ships... I will continue my life with or with out her... how ever as all girls do she is saying you are so important for me... u r so valuable for me... I can't live with out u.. blah blah blah... and she is still asking for the break the whole time and she is calling me and I call her... before... now I even deleted her number from my phone not to remember that she exists.. I know writing this question is a prove that ilove her and I miss her... but I can't lose 1 month of my life for this stuff.. it is all or nothing with her that's how I look to it... just to let you know I'm asking this qestion to know if I am on the true track or not.. thanks for all of u.. waiting your comments

I forgot to say something... she trieded to suicide 3 times in the 2 years and that confuses me more and more.. she said because she can't stand with out me... so?? I don't want to be mean but I don't want to be steped on

I'm really thinking how I will be able to trust her about my life when we are married and how I will trust she won't ask for a break when we marry or she won't take my kids and run because she needs time.. isnt it true??

Hi mj1986,
I can feel you are in pain.
It seems your girl friend is very depressed, unhappy, and moody. She has some valid reasons to be depressed, no job & long distance relationship, and it obviously make her down, stressful, and insecure about herself.

However, it not right for her to ask breakup, or commit suicide to draw your attention. You intent to marry her, and she did not have to ask for break up. She is creating issues in the relationship. She should trust you, love you and work hard to find a job and make her self happy. To make marriage work, both parties have to be reasonably happy about themselves and elf efficient. She needs to do her part, maintain herself and make herself happy. If she is so dependent and emotionally unhealthy, the marriage will be very difficult, and she will drag you through a lot of dramas.

Take this break up as a good opportunity to teach her lesson, how hard to keep the NC, and why the breakup was unnecessary. NC is very difficult for everyone as you already feel it. Hold yourself until November 15th.
After November 15th, reconcile with her, tell her you understand her stress, assure her as loving boyfriend, and show your affection. However, you need to tell her logically she should not ask for another breakup.

On and off relationship is not healthy for any reason, and it is not necessary.
I hope she finds her job very soon. It will help her mood.
I like to say that nobody can help her mood, except her.
I hope it helps.

Thanks slot for your comments.I have putted slot of efforts on her.she was alcoholic,emotionally I'll and with some psychology problems which we could solve together with time.what I don't understand is that she knows that I'm working to collect some money to marry her and she is telling me that she just want me to be with her and that I can work as a writer just to be with her.I mean this is all meaning less with out money you won't live :) and it is logical.I really don't know what to do I will hold the 15 of nov for sure.what do you think of traveling to her country to see her I was planing to do it on 26 of November if things goes good or should I do it in all cases

Hi Mj,
What strikes me in you'r post is you asked for a week to think about things,she countered with "lets make it two"
That tells me a few things
First it was a immature response from her
Second she's not willing to even try to use the time properly
And third she was just one upping you
And if was me I would have ended it right there.She is only thinking of herself.
The next thing in your post is your in a relationship where you are contemplating marriage yet you don't sound like it at all,instead you sound like you could give or take it.sometimes the red flags come from not what someone is doing to us so much as how we really feel about them.

You both should leave each other alone.

This relationship is toxic and you shouldn't stay together.

This whole situation sounds bad in my opinion. The way you make it sound she's a head case... and maybe so. Then go on as if you could care less about her & yourself as in your future together. Which isn't all bad... you realize she isn't needed to make your happiness in life but rather just wanted. Now throw in the, "golly gee lets get married..." I'm sorry but you two sound like a divorce statistic.

Why not keep the break up going taking a few months to get your poop in a group and see where your at then? This whole two weeks thing is a joke. I damn sure wouldn't consider legal marriage until you spent a minimum of a year or so under the same roof together.

what if I tell u that we lived under the same roof for 3 years!! And 2 years in a far relation ship= different countries... I mean after 3 years of all this she just wants a break!! this is so confusion... and it is my 2nd day holding myself but it is still going good.. y I want it to be for 2 weeks lets make it in this way... I have a vacation for about 3 days from my job.. im planing to travel to see her 2 weeks from that time gices me almost 10 days to prepare.. howeverit will be pointless to go to see her if she doesn't want me.. and I don't want her... I mean I'm even thinking of it my own self.. I won't lie I'm checking her Facebook sometimes from an account fake one :) I know it is not a nice thing but I know as well she does the same somehow.. I just can feal it... she checked my hotmail and all this things... because I love her.. but I don't want to be a loser and take months waiting for her.. it doesn't mean I won't have life or something like that.. just take it in this way... 3 years living together and after 2 years of not be able to get married legaly lets call it.. and booom she wants a break.. im no joke.. I won't let her play with me... the last time we talked she asked me if I can help her financially with money this month which I usually did when she asks to.. but this time I told her yes I will help u but I won't... because I don't want to be there for her if she doesn't do the same for me.. im having very hard time in job and I have no body to talk to.. and the same for her... I don't know if I am mean or something like that.. just I can't trust in all that stuff like break which comes so meaning less for me... if she wants a break up lets do it... be together lets do it.. but in break in between is ridicules.. and meaning less.. am I thinking in the true way.. plz tell me so I will be knowing what I'm doing.about the 2 weeks it is just to have a fast decision to the situation.. I don't want to lose my time.. there is many girls out side and trust me all of them will be happy to be with me.. so what do u thanks and special thanks for IMABADMAN & CONFUSED REBECCA... PLZ everybody share your ideas with me honestly because I really need it... Thnx

It's not confusing, OK at least for me. You spent 3 years living together... then 2 years apart NOT living together. People change and grow... what's confusing about that?

You said your confident in yourself and your job. Well be confident in your decision that you both need some time to sort things through if that's what you want and/or she wants. Quite frankly if that's what she wants then I don't think I'd be sitting around waiting on her.

Very good point man.really thanks a lot things seems so different now.it is still the 2nd day but definitely I will take what you said in consideration because it really makes a lot of since now.people change that's absolutely true.if things works out it is OK.if it doesn't who cares.I have my.beautiful life to live :)