My age is currently 16, and while some may argue that is too young to be caring about relationships can all take a hike (yes, take a hike, as I'm sure what I really mean will be blocked). So here is the story. I met this girl in 7th grade, and for the past 4 years I have been secretly in love with her, even when I dated other girls. She loved me too, and in 8th grade we started telling each other that we loved one another, only for one of us to reject the other.

This Junior year, we finally went to the homecoming dance together, we were extremely passionate with each other, and we both broke down begging each other to be together. The past month of dating her has been weird. I often times find myself being ignored by her for the majority of the time I am walking with her to classes, but, however, when we are alone I can get her full attention. Just when there are people around I tend to become invisible. Yes she holds my hand, and says an occasional phrase to me, but most of the time I am ignored.

We have also become, I admit, very sexually active. I will not post everything we have done (we haven't broken each others virginity yet) but after being alone and doing some things with her I just held her and let her fall asleep on me, and I LOVED this more than all the things we did combined. So that let's myself know that I don't just love her for sex.

But I think she loves me only for it. She will say she doesn't, but every conversation we have eventually boils down to dirty talking, discussing what we should do next, or discussing what we liked about our activities.

Also, today I believe I messed up on her. I have been home sick with the flu and have been home sick from school and VERY pissy at everything, and on the phone I didn't necesarrily explode but said some things I hardly remember and did not mean the slightest bit. I have apologized several times, and I think she gets it, but she wants to take a "break" or a "breather" from each other until after school on Friday, just to see how we still feel about each other. I have absolutely no intention of leaving her, but I am uncertain about her. Here is an example of our conversations about the matter:

Me: Babe, you know I'm sorry, I'm sorry with all my heart and mind and those things you know I didn't mean.

Her: Baby, we just need to relax from each other until Friday, see how we feel about each other.

Me: You do know I have no intention of leaving you, right?

Her: Baby, just hold on and everything will be OK.

Me: But will you hold on?

Her: I hope so.

Me: Please do stay. Babe I'll do ANYTHING for you.

And I mean that. I am deeply in love with this girl and would do ANYTHING at all for her safety, love, etc. And she knows this.

Okay, so after that long post, I have a few questions:

About me being invisible, am I over reacting? Are most girls like this with their boyfriend? How do I keep things going on between us?

About the her possibly only loving me for my , do you think she does? Is there possibly any way to find out on my own?

About the me loving her so deeply when I think she might not even feel a portion back to me what I feel for her, is it right?

What are some very sweet things I as a boy can do to make her say "Awww" or "that's so sweet"? These are things that a highschooler can do while at school, or possibly when I am at her house or she is at mine.

And lastly, what about the whole "breather" thing?

I know this was a very long post, but if you read through it all and have some decent advice, I thank you VERY very very much in advance.

About me being invisible, am I over reacting? Are most girls like this with their boyfriend? How do I keep things going on between us?

Some girls are and some are not. Don't take it personally.

About the her possibly only loving me for my , do you think she does? Is there possibly any way to find out on my own?

Yes stop doing the sex thing and see what else you have in common, TALK more.

About the me loving her so deeply when I think she might not even feel a portion back to me what I feel for her, is it right?

Its normal, even if its not equal. Its possible your deeper into her than she is with you.

What are some very sweet things I as a boy can do to make her say "Awww" or "that's so sweet"? These are things that a high schooler can do while at school, or possibly when I am at her house or she is at mine.
Your own your own there, but compliments go a long way, if they are sincere, and not overdone.

And lastly, what about the whole "breather" thing?

She is probably mad, and needs time to get over it, or make you suffer a bit as punishment for bad behavior. You will find out Friday.

You might not want to hear this but young people think lust is love all the time, and its been happening forever.

Be cautious my young friend, as just because what you may feel is love, she may not be as in love as you are.

Lust fades, love grows. And there are many conflicts in between. Doesn't matter about the age.



Having quite a few psycological problems in this relationship.

There called growing pains, and we all go through them.

Had to spread the rep Tal, great post - don't know if there is much more of value I can add.

Only one thing that I might add for the poster - teenage girls are often not as mature as boys (or society) thinks. Her behavior has a controlling aspect to it, partly because she knows she can - control you, that is. Your adoration gives her a sense of power and control - which can be quite heady.

It's hard to know what her motivation or intentions are, but I'd suggest you look to yourself. Stop with the declarations of love, or at least tone them down. Take her advice - get over your flu and give yourself (and her) a breather until Friday.

Sometimes when one person is really effusive in a relationship, the other person backs off. Why don't you try backing off a little - not because you're playing a game, but because you're protecting yourself.

Thank you guys, that was some very good advice. I have noticed my problem of going way over my head about her, and that's going to stop.