Forgive errors as I'm typing from BB.first off I need to mention that I am very supportive and of my boyfriend seeing his son and being involved. All I do is show that I love him and that I am there for him whatever decisions he makes.ok... here goes... I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 8 months.we met before Christmas last year but didn't start dating until later. While he was out of town visiting family, he has a short spurt relationship. Months later we found out she was pregnant. I found out through her that he was continuing to talk to her unknown to me. He admitted that he was scared that she was going to keep his child from him out of hate and wanted to keep her on an even level. For the last 8 months she has been trying to break us up on and off but he has continually stood beside me. I have been very strong understanding that I am happy with being a step mommy and that I love him. However, the baby was just born last weekend and I'm freaking out in my mind. I have always had confidence but wonder if its different after he sees the baby and her. Side note: she lives over 10 hours away so we are still planning the trip.

I worry that she has something I can't offer him and WON'T until marriage. He was with her for less than a month and swears up and down that I am what he wants and someday we will have our family. Only problem is with myself. I'm so scared that ill go through this out of love and then get stomped on later and left. She has been contacting him daily, we know she still wants to be with him and drops subtle hints that would make me look like a psycho if I were to object. So I keep my mouth closed, but have voiced my concerns. It also hurts because I know he keeps trying to settle my nerves and make me feel better about things but nothing seems to be good enough. I need help. Advise. Comments. Feedback!! Please!

Also need to mention that I oddred to step back many times!

If I were you, I would try to hold on and wait it out to see how things turn out. Just keep your guards up because you may let your scares push you and him apart and I know you don't want that. It hasn't been that long since the child has been born so be patient and observe things. If things get too out of hand for you, then some adjustments will have to be made because you can't continue to feel like that, that's not fair to you.

And also, if you feel the need to step back a little to let things adjust then step back. Its all about what makes you feel all right.

As far as I know, nothing has happened yet. He hasn't broken up with you over it, he continues to tell you that he loves you and you two will have a family of your own someday, and he stands by your side and supports you. Right now, that's great!
If you are worried that he might leave you, then tell him! Tell him that you have been worrying lately. Tell him you are starting to feel unsure even though he's been telling you otherwise.
If he continues to make promise's, then just wait... that's all you can do is wait and see what happens. No amount of worrying is going to make it better. So relax a little and just be patient.
After everything... if the guy decides that he wants to break up with you, then don't pursue it. He has obviously lied to you in the past and if he doesn't keep his promise there is no sense going on with your relationship. If he can't promise that he will continue to date you, how can he promise to spend the rest of his life with you in marriage?
All you can do right now is wait it out and see what happens...

At least things are out in the open heart - no nasty surprises. Am pleased you are going with him; she needs to see a united front between the two of you. You seem very level headed and Im positive that you will handle things appropriately. He will have a bond with you built over time - under a month and conceiving a child probably isn't the ideal situation - you stick to your guns and take it day by day. There will be a time when you are both ready for a family, am very glad you aren't rushing into it because of the situation.

Hang on in there - it's a trip - you have him on a daily basis! Take care...

Thanks to all of you for your input! I really appreciate all of the POSITIVE responses! Sometimes I think I'm crazy for staying, then I realize I would be crazy for not staying! Lol. Sometimes I just battle some self esteem issues which is where the worry comes from. Wondering what they are talking about and what is she saying to try and get him back... He tells me every time she texts about the baby (which I appreciate now) but I still wonder which doesn't get me anywhere! Lol

This is way too much drama for an 8 month relationship. The guy needs all the room you can give him to unpack his past baggage, and your fears will be your own undoing if you can't just relax and see what happens.

Your going with him to see his child and that's a big thing so keep your head up, and don't worry so much.

Thanks again everyone! It has helped my tremendously! Only problem is now I'm sensing all of this stress has made him not hang out with me like he used to. We use to do everything together and have so much fun! We used to golf and now he's golfing with a male co worker or by himself. We would go out for a night but now we either don't go or he chooses to go when I'm out of town on business. During the weekends we would run errands together but now it seems as if he is just trying to find an excuse to get out of the house. I'm so confused. His actions don't match his words. I have been very understanding and with everything else going on it seems to make it that much worse. I have also tried talking to him about this but he's tired of being stressed. He said he has catered to everyone else that now its time to cater to himself.I somewhat understand but I also hate this feeling. I was in a relationship before where we didn't do much together and I was miserable. I don't know if this is just a phase? If it is how do I handle it until it gets better? Will it get better? Is it just myself esteem again?