View Full Version : What Should I Do?
surferforlife
Oct 25, 2009, 06:59 PM
All threads merged
OKay me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year and a few months now when we first met everything was sogood and then after our 1 year together everything went crazy we started to fight so much almost everyday. I always did everything to try to fix things. And our big problem is that we can't even seeeachother because she lives in Texas and I live in California see before she wouldn't care at all because she loved me and believed me when I told her I loved her and now latley she doubts me so much and says I don't love her when I'm always telling her how much I love her and want to be with her forever and I cnt wait till we finally meet but she's always doubting me and she's very very deeply in love with me but I think that she's still trying to push me away I don't know what to do!
surferforlife
Oct 25, 2009, 07:27 PM
That didn't help.
talaniman
Oct 25, 2009, 08:01 PM
I wonder how long you can tell someone you want to be with them forever and not make the moves to make the actions match the words?
Ain't no surfing in Texas, so get some cowboy boots, and head 'em up, move 'em out.
Just curious when you plan to see her again?
none12345
Oct 25, 2009, 09:27 PM
I don't think its possible to love someone if you have never met them before. At first I believed it was possible but it just ended terribly.
jordyadele
Oct 25, 2009, 09:43 PM
Relationships are hard work. It doesn't matter how much you love each other, it takes effort! Love is a choice. Although it comes naturally at first, at some point and time you have to CHOOSE to love someone.
Even if you are fighting everyday you can't let that dictate your entire relationship. It's what you learn about the other person through disagreements that makes your relationship stronger.
Maybe she is confused. Maybe the first "swept off your feet in love" feeling has gone away and she's starting to realize that some things you do irritate her. Maybe some things you say make her feel bad. Maybe she just doesn't think she is strong enough anymore for a long distance relationship. Whatever it is, it's her decision to overcome it and CHOOSE to love you no matter what. It's time for her to tell the truth about what it is she's feeling. If she can't do that, then it's not worth pursuing. It's not "marriage material."
What have you done to fix things besides telling her "i love you and i want to be with you forever"?
surferforlife
Oct 26, 2009, 07:35 PM
I have tried to talk to her about this and I explain to her how much I love her and I don't care if I can't see her I have her and that's the important thing.. she says she believes me but she acts likee she doesn't soemtimes... and thank you you all helpd.
surferforlife
Oct 29, 2009, 04:10 PM
Threads merged again
Now my girlfriend of 1 year and 4 months has been acting really weird.. she kept bugging me about that she didn't believe me when I told her I loved her and wanted to talk to her and now that she has started believing me I really do she has been acting so blah she doesn't act like she wants to talk to me anymore before when we would talk it was alwayyss JESSE :] and noww she's just oh hi . And it buggs mee because she hasn't been acting like herself anymore she doesn't seem like she loves me either if I don't sayy I love you she won't even mention it anymore she always makes the awkard silence and if I talk to her about this she'll be like well sorry or I do want to talk to you and if I ask is something wrong she'll just say no.. this has been really bugging me =[ I don't know what to doo help mme .
I wish
Oct 29, 2009, 05:46 PM
Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story.
Long distance is extremely difficult if you don't plan on seeing each other. Nor matter how much talking you try to do, someone has to make a move. You need to see each other or else this relationship can't survive.
jaime90
Oct 29, 2009, 07:14 PM
Generally speaking, women come with an automatic need for reassurance. That's why not only does she ask "do you REALLY love me?" Everyday, she asks it once at breakfast, lunch, dinner, and before bed. She NEEDS you to reassure her of your love, and not just that- she needs you to SHOW her your love, especially when it is WITHOUT sexual intentions. That could mean going out of your way to give her a phone call, or a text 'good morning!' it could mean coming up with your own inside jokes, or sending her a love letter. (I've done long-distance relationship for over a year before, it can work, we're now engaged.) If she feels like your "spark" is starting to fizzle out, try to rekindle it, and encourage her to try too. Become 'students' of each other, learning and observing your partner as much as possible. Visit each other more often, be honest with each other. If you get in a fight, it is very important to, again, reassure her of your love. Tell her that you're upset, and you need time to think, but your relationship is O.K. Women often take the words "I need space" or "I need a break" as, "You don't love me! You don't want to be around me!" So make sure you're consistently reassuring her. If you are doing that consistently and she is doubting you, do something drastic, do something for her where she cannot doubt your love! The best thing I can think of now is, show up unexpectedly! Show her you love her, don't just say it. Words can talk, but actions sing.
surferforlife
Nov 7, 2009, 10:29 AM
I don't know what to do I invaded my gf's privacy and found something's in her email and now she knows so she dumped me.. what should I doo ?
Fr_Chuck
Nov 7, 2009, 10:34 AM
Learn not to do that again when you get a new girlfriend
redhed35
Nov 7, 2009, 10:35 AM
There's not too much you can do,either you were being nosey or something made you mistrust her.
Once the trust is broken in a relationship its quite difficult to get back.
Say your sorry,and leave her alone,learn from this!
justcurious55
Nov 7, 2009, 10:35 AM
I'm with chuck on this one. Snooping through things without permission, bad move. All you can do is learn from it.
amicon
Nov 7, 2009, 10:48 AM
Is this the girl from your previous threads? I think you should consider this over. Personally Id be very annoyed if my boyfriend went through my email etc.
Why snoop?
surferforlife
Nov 7, 2009, 11:05 AM
But see I knew she was hiding something and yea it's the same girl and when I read the email she was hiding somethingshe wanted to talk to the guy she was in love with before and she knew she had a chance with him itslike if something happened to us she can just go to him right away like I didnteven matter :l n idkk.. I guessi just did the wrong thing...
justcurious55
Nov 7, 2009, 11:06 AM
Good catch amicon.
Surfer, it's over. You couldn't trust her. Now she won't be able to trust you. Sounds like it's for the best.
surferforlife
Nov 7, 2009, 11:13 AM
:l your all right thank you I just didn't wantt it to end this way we worked for1 year n then its all gone..
amicon
Nov 7, 2009, 11:21 AM
Sorry for your loss-have you read the stickies at the top of the relationship page? Lots of good advice after a breakup.
surferforlife
Nov 13, 2009, 07:41 PM
alriteee this is the girl from my last questions we got back together and noww well its realllllllllllllllly badd really really bad :l she acted like she wanted me more when we weren't together and know that we are she just acts like she doesn't care at all and this is hurting me so much but its nothing compared to how I have hurt her =[ but I love her so much and she still doesn't believe me a few days ago it was our annii and she didn't even say anythng back to me I wrote her a song and she didn't even say anything made me feel so bad after all my hard work she didn't even say a thank you or anything her best friend liked it more than she even did -_- and now we haven't even talked normaly for 3 days and her best friend was like prove to her you love her and I havetried so many things I really have but she never trusts me anymore.. annd idkk.. what I should do noww do I leave her or stay with her ? But I love her so muucchhh its killng me already.
:(
slapshot_oi
Nov 13, 2009, 08:36 PM
Dude, you're either 11 or English isn't your first language, I'm having the worst time trying to make sense of what you're saying.
Quit whining and reading her e-mail. You live and your girlfriend live in different states; it can't work, accept it.
surferforlife
Nov 14, 2009, 12:14 PM
alriteee this is the girl from my last questions we got back together and noww well its really badd :l she acted like she wanted me more when we weren't together and know that we are she just acts like she doesn't care at all and this is hurting me so much but its nothing compared to how I have hurt her =[ but I love her so much and she still doesn't believe me a few days ago it was our 1 year and 4months and she didn't even say anythng back to me I wrote her a song and she didn't even say anything made me feel so bad after all my hard work she didn't even say a thank you or anything her best friend liked it more than she even did -_- and now we haven't even talked normaly for 3 days and her best friend was like prove to her you love her and I have tried so many things I really have but she doesn't trust me anymore.. annd idkk.. what I should do noww do I leave her or stay with her ? But I love her so muucchhh its killng me already.
RadioActive697
Nov 14, 2009, 03:06 PM
Well I know how you feel. But to tell you the truth I think you need to leave her. She's not showing you that she loves and appreciate you. And in an relationship you need those things. You will find a better girl. To sum it up it would be better to not stay in an relationship when getting hurt. You could talk to her but I would leave instead of getting my heart broken when I knew I was getting treated wrong. So you decide. Its not our choice its yours.
surferforlife
Nov 14, 2009, 03:08 PM
Thank you so much that helped a lot
RadioActive697
Nov 14, 2009, 03:12 PM
Your Welcome!
surferforlife
Nov 17, 2009, 06:09 PM
Me and my girlfriend from the otherrr questionss solved thingss and then she told me she thinkss that she isn't the right girl for me because she thinks she hurts me too much and she thinks that her bfffff makes me happier and we get allong much better I don't know how to convince her she just denys it
justcurious55
Nov 18, 2009, 01:47 AM
I'm not sure how much clearer anyone can make this. This relationship needs to end. This is a bad relationship. You two should not be together. You need to stop talking to her. You need to stop talking to her friend. No, you have obviously not solved anything. Otherwise you wouldn't be here writing questions we can hardly make sense of. It doesn't matter why she thinks you two shouldn't be together. She's right, you shouldn't.
surferforlife
Nov 19, 2009, 06:54 PM
Well after everyone's advice I am deciding to break up with my girlfriend.The thing is I'm not sure how to cause I love her so much and I don't really want to break it off but I think I have to already . I just don't want to be the one to hurt her again. I don't know how to break up with her and after we do should I stay friends with her?
talaniman
Nov 20, 2009, 07:04 AM
I think the straight honest approach is the way to go, and then leaving each other alone to process your feelings helps a lot. Being friends may not happen at first, and could just hurt the healing process. Why take a chance and force something, when you can both heal, and do other things you enjoy, so you can appreciate the friendship later.
surferforlife
Apr 11, 2010, 01:13 PM
This is the same girl I used to have problems with when we were together and now we've been broken up for 5 months now and I just can't get her out of my mind. I tried getting a new girlfriend I ended up thinking about my ex-girlfriend the whole time. I just don't know what to do anymore. After those 5 months we had only 2 normal conversations. She's really happy with another man and I'm very happy she's happy but I want to be happy to and I just can't be without her. What am I supposed to do ?
talaniman
Apr 11, 2010, 01:21 PM
Your supposed to be doing your own thing, not trying to be friends, and enjoying yourself. You don't replace her, but you rebuild a life that you enjoy without her being a part of it and maybe you need to get busier doing your thing, or need longer than 5 months to get over it. Whichever it is, do the No Contact whatsoever thing, no matter what!
surferforlife
Apr 11, 2010, 01:24 PM
Its so hard too though :l but your right thankk you so much
talaniman
Apr 11, 2010, 02:25 PM
Life is hard my friend! It is what it is, so don't let it beat you.