View Full Version : Getting custody
dctbrown_4
Oct 25, 2009, 10:51 AM
My niece and nephew are being neglected. My nephew just got kicked out of kindergarten for being to hyper. They don't know anything about school. My nephew is 5 and my son just turned 6, my nephew is 2 yrs behind. He can't say his ABC's. I want to know how I can get temporary custody.
Fr_Chuck
Oct 25, 2009, 11:07 AM
Have the child's parents turn over custody to you. Have you asked or talked to them about it
Moved to family law
dctbrown_4
Oct 25, 2009, 07:42 PM
My brother threathened that if I try to get the kids he won't let me see them again. So I don't know if I should try or not. My brother tried to get custody and the judge said, "This is a case of two immature kids having kids, so the children stay with their mother."
stinawords
Oct 25, 2009, 08:45 PM
Saddly, there are way too many cases of kids having kids. Not being able to say his ABC's isn't even a drop in the bucket of evidence you will need to prove the parents unfit.
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 09:12 AM
What about head lice for three yrs? We bought the girl shoes and the mother gave them to her niece? When the mother whips them she hits them 10 times? They are dirty every time we get them, fingernails are long and black with dirt under them
justcurious55
Oct 26, 2009, 09:28 AM
Has child services ever come out?
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 09:59 AM
I'm not sure if it was child services or health dept, but someone did come out and told them they had to clean the house up in 24rs or they were taking the kids away, I think they kept the kids over night. She was living with her sister and her husband with their daughter, and their dad, so 7 people in a 3 bdr house. I guess they got it cleaned.
justcurious55
Oct 26, 2009, 11:10 AM
The reason I ask is because I'm sure the court will want to see evidence that they are being neglected. You simply saying so doesn't prove anything to the court. Giving the shoes away doesn't mean much-she could say they were just too small for her daughter or that her daughter didn't like them, they didn't fit right. Who knows what the true reasoning was. Head lice for three years is awful, but what proof do you have? Dr's visits? Anything at all? Dirt under the finernails? Icky. But, kids do get dirty. What proof do you have that the mother doesn't try to get them cleaned up? The kid not knowing his ABC's isn't good. But some kids just learn at a different pace. I have a friend who is super involved in her kids school and education. She goes to every PTA meeting, she always volunteers for anything going on at the school, she does homework with her kids, she reads to them every night. Her daughters (twins) were still held back in first grade twice. They're finally doing much better this year.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't be concerned or that the children wouldn't be better off with you. But if you decide to petition for custody, the judge will want to see proof. Without proof it's he said/she said and that gives the judge no reason no believe its in the children's best interest to be with you.
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 12:18 PM
We are not sure how to get proof, but we have been recording when we get the kids and have taken pictures off the lice and reciepts on the treatment. The main problem we have is we can't take them to the doctor, and it seems that my brother thinks they are being taken care of, or just the fact of he doesn't want to hurt his ex's feelings. So how do you get proof?
ScottGem
Oct 26, 2009, 12:23 PM
You said the nephew was kicked out of kindergarten. That doesn't just happen. If there is a behavioral issue the parents should be called in. If the teachers notice abuse or health issue they are generally required to report it.
Have you tried talking to the teachers? You should be taken your evidence, your journal, pictures, etc. to the local children's services agency. Tell them you are willing to foster the child (you want guardianship, NOT custody), until the parents show they can properly take care of them.
justcurious55
Oct 26, 2009, 12:23 PM
That's a good start. I would seriously consider calling cps at this point if you can't talk to your brother. Obviously, talking to your brother and making him be more involved as a parent would be ideal. But you implied that's not going to work.
You could also look into the guidelines for filing for emergency temporary custody. But I believe that it would truly need to be an emergency for that to work. Lice is bad, but I don't recall it being life threatening.
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 12:33 PM
We think he got kicked out because of head lice. We are going tomorrow to get the papers on the real reason.
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 12:36 PM
Is the child services report open to public?
ScottGem
Oct 26, 2009, 12:43 PM
Is the child services report open to public?
Generally not. But if you apply for emergency GUARDIANSHIP, you may get to see it. Again, I would NOT apply for custody. Custody is a stronger and more permanent condition than guardianship. Therefore, harder to get.
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 12:46 PM
Generally not. But if you apply for emergency GUARDIANSHIP, you may get to see it. Again, I would NOT apply for custody. Custody is a stronger and more permanent condition than guardianship. Therefore, harder to get.
Ok, thanks
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 01:29 PM
They live in Arkansas and I live in Missouri, can I still attempt this or not?
cdad
Oct 26, 2009, 01:32 PM
We think he got kicked out because of head lice. We are going tomorrow to get the papers on the real reason.
You have no right to papers from the child's school at this time and in going to get them you could be committing a crime.
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 01:52 PM
You have no right to papers from the childs school at this time and in going to get them you could be commiting a crime.
It would be the dad getting the papers
justcurious55
Oct 26, 2009, 02:12 PM
Do mind if I ask more about your brother trying to get custody? How long ago was it? Was it before the children had lice for three years? Basically what you're going to have to do to get any sort of guardianship is prove that the mother is unfit and that the children are best with you. But just because the mother is unfit doesn't necessarily mean that the father is. Do you believe that if your brother had custody the children would be better off? Even though he wasn't able to get custody last time, would it be worth it for him to try again?
dctbrown_4
Oct 26, 2009, 02:53 PM
It has been 2 yrs now. And no they were still married when they got the head lice, My family had moved form S. Carolina so we moved in with my mom, which they were living there, and I tried to get rid of them, I was preganant and couldn't do it all the time, so I gave up because they would not help me. Then we moved out. My brother is not fit to be a parent either, all he does is yell at them and make them sit down and watch TV. No interaction with them. While I was with them, I took care of the kids. When my brother sees them he doesn't even hug them or pick them up, but they love him to death. It's just sad and I can't stand it no more.
justcurious55
Oct 27, 2009, 02:24 AM
That's unfortunate. Hopefully everything will work out soon. Let us know how it goes at the school.