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veryimpatient
Oct 22, 2009, 11:06 AM
I have been on and off again with a guy for a year. I could never get him to commit and finally he did and that didn't last long when he said he didn't feel the same as I did but he was trying. We went a couple of days not speaking and I was an idiot and tried to contact him and no response till later in evening . He said he doesn't know if I'm the one for him or not. I want so badly to be with him but feel like he should know after a year. I guess I'm asking if I should wait and see or just know that it will never happen? Im emotionally drained and feel like I'm not good enough.

Justwantfair
Oct 22, 2009, 11:32 AM
Break ups are difficult. Read the stickies at the top of the Relationship forum about no contact and working on yourself while you move on.

After a year, you boyfriend is having doubts. Now all you can worry about is yourself and know that you deserve to be with someone who doesn't doubt you after sharing your life for a year. Never wait for someone else. Now is the time for you.

adam_89
Oct 22, 2009, 11:36 AM
I would be working on moving on away from this guy. You need a guy who feels the same as you and can commit to things the way you want them. He is unstable and a future doesn't seem very likely with him.

Floyd_fairy
Oct 22, 2009, 03:55 PM
I agree, it's been a year and it will be hard at first but your wounds will heal faster than if you stay with him and keep feeling this way for another year... u deserve the same love u give back
GL :)

jaime90
Oct 22, 2009, 04:49 PM
The guy can't commit to a very short time being in a relationship with you- he can't commit to a marriage either, so don't waste your time pursuing him, it will end in more heartbreak.

I wish
Oct 23, 2009, 09:08 AM
He already knows how you feel. Reminding him over and over again won't give him new information. It will just give him pressure. If he wanted the same thing as you, he will find you. Just focus on yourself and do your own thing.

talaniman
Oct 24, 2009, 10:13 AM
He doesn't want what you want, nor feel as you feel. That's fair but I think your trying to force something he isn't ready for, or know if he wants. Back off, and just bring the fun back.

Enigma1999
Oct 24, 2009, 10:36 AM
Hello V,

If it were only a few months and this was going on, I would say, maybe he needs more time. However, this has been going on for a year. Most likely, he's never going to commit with/to you.

My advice to you is to move on. Concentrate on yourself. In time he will realize that he made that mistake. Just know that it's not you or anything that you did.. These things just happen, that's all. Good luck my friend.

Jake2008
Oct 24, 2009, 11:15 AM
Maybe he has not fully realized what he is about to lose. He's also in no hurry, because you've made it quite clear you'd jump at any opportunity to be with him.

What you might want to consider is giving him one last chance. But, with you in charge. Send him an email, tell him you are tired of waiting for a commitment, you have decided to make some changes.

Tell him you will give him two more weeks to make up his mind whether he can make a decision to be with you or not. If you don't hear a definitive answer by then, you will consider the relationship over, and you will move on.

You are not being fair to yourself to stay in a holding pattern. Life is too short!