My wife and I have been married for a little less than a year. We have been together for about 3 years. Over the course of the relationship she has been great with one exception. ANGER. In the beginning she has frequent outburst that seemed to be justifiable due to dealing with situations that would make anyone angry. The issue is now she claims to be happy and I have brought her much stability and to her own admission happiness and a feeling of love and understanding. On occasion she will lose her temper and get so angry it is mind bending. I feel helpless because when she gets this way there is nothing I can say to help and the anger is directed at me or anyone else in our home we have a 18 year old and a 9 year old from her first marriage.
Example - she went to the dmv to get her license changed with her new married last name. She did not have what they required for ID and they seemed rude according to her. She went absolutley crazy when she got home stating that all americans are racist and she hates them and many other things. (she is from another country but she is a US citizen).
Her 18 year old daughter came home and asked where her mother was and I told her that she was at another DMV trying to take care of her license. Her daughter asked me is mom still mad from last night ? Evidently she had words with her daughter on another subject. I told her that she was very angry about what happened at the DMV. The conversation continued with her daughter and she told me her mother has always been this way. She told me she is saving her money so she can move out because she cannot stand being around her mother anymore. She has delt with there anger for her whole life and had no choice but to deal with it because she had no where else to go.
What little I have read on the subject pretty much gives me the opinion that no one deserves to walk on eggshells with a person that can fly off the handle over pretty much anything.
I have never seen anyone get so mad in my life it was as if my wife was another person. I was scared to be totally honest. My heart was pounding. I'm not easily scared.
The other issue is my step daughter told me do not even think about telling mom to get help. She will flip out. It is my wife's way or the highway and everyone else needs to change not her.
I'm upset but I think I might tell her we need to spend sometime apart and explain to her that I will not allow her anger to control me or this relationship and that she must seek professional help. I do not see this situation as fixing itself. This honestly has been progressive in nature and now that other issue's have been settled that made her angry it appears that she is starting to direct her anger at me. I have been her biggest proponent up until now but I guess I'm becoming old hat now so she is comfortable to blow out to the person that loves her and is closest to her.

Please Help

She needs anger management. She just also might be bipolar as well. If she won't get help, then if you cannot put up with her, I would suggest you leave her. Your choices in the matter are quite limited at this point.

Emotionally unstable people cannot handle the truth about themselves. So there is no point asking her to attend anger management classes, because that will only aggravate her.

Instead try to resolve the issue in a calm way.
--When she shouts, just shut yourself from her screams and stay calm. Instead think about something nice and peaceful, so that you divert her attention. Remember - A quiet spirit calms another spirit on fire
--When she demands an answer, answer her quietly.
--Visit a psychiatrist and get professional advice
--When she gets calm after a while, you pretend to be normal as if nothing happened. Do not harbor grudge. You will only be spoiling your own mood.
--Look at things in a positive way... Take it as a challenge to tame your wife. There is no soul that cannot be tamed by love and mature behavior.

Try these things for a while.. Please do not try to quit as of now. But judge the situation a little further before you decide to quit. For all you know, her angry soul might be actually yearning for affection deep inside. Try to analyze her inner feelings.

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Somewhere deep down my heart, I believe that Jesus loves me and will always love me.