My divorce was settled in 5/21/09. In our settlement, we are required to file a QDRO for my retirement pension and split the cost. The attorney for this charges $1500 which I was not aware of at the time. She contacted us on 6/18/09 at which time my former spouse had stopped working. He is a self employed contractor. He is out of work and cannot pay for 1/2 of daycare costs incurred over the summer for our daughter which I paid in full, has not paid full child and spousal support since June 2009. He owes me $4700 total yet insists that we move forward with the QDRO. I cannot afford this at this time since I'm paying for our daughter's monthly expenses without his support. His attorney is assisting I pay or I will be held in contempt of court. I asked that he pay my share of the $1500 QDRO processing fee and have it deducted it from his arrears and he declined. Is there anything I can do to dispute this? It doesn't seem right he has the money for an attorney but cannot pay his court ordered child/spousal support and daycare costs yet assists on moving forward with the QDRO. Also, he cannot have his share of my pension until I'm 50 or retire. Is there a timeline on this? The attorney for the QDRO did not even contact us until June 18, 2009. Can I file an OCS requesting him to pay attorney fees and have it deducted from his arrears or what would you suggest? Thank you.

The short answer is no you cant. Child support is for the child and what is going on between the both of you are a separate matter. The courts don't play lets make a deal.

My divorce was settled in 5/21/09. In our settlement, we are required to file a QDRO for my retirement pension and split the cost. The attorney for this charges $1500 which I was not aware of at the time. She contacted us on 6/18/09 at which time my former spouse had stopped working. He is a self employed contractor. He is out of work and cannot pay for 1/2 of daycare costs incurred over the summer for our daughter which I paid in full, has not paid full child and spousal support since June 2009. He owes me $4700 total yet insists that we move forward with the QDRO. I cannot afford this at this time since I'm paying for our daughter's monthly expenses without his support. His attorney is assisting I pay or I will be held in contempt of court. I asked that he pay my share of the $1500 QDRO processing fee and have it deducted it from his arrears and he declined. Is there anything I can do to dispute this? It doesn't seem right he has the money for an attorney but cannot pay his court ordered child/spousal support and daycare costs yet assists on moving forward with the QDRO. Also, he cannot have his share of my pension until I'm 50 or retire. Is there a timeline on this? The attorney for the QDRO did not even contact us until June 18, 2009. Can I file an OCS requesting him to pay attorney fees and have it deducted from his arrears or what would you suggest? Thank you.

You could give an OSC a shot, and you might find a sympathetic judge to go along with you since your request seems reasonable. But your ex will probably say he cannot afford the $1500 as it is. Also, the order is that you split the costs, and until there's a modification that's exactly what you are suppose to do. Kind of a tough call, but I think I'd give a motion to modify the judgment a shot based on the equities presented--that he owes considerable past due support yet still can pay a lawyer.

By the way, there is no time limit on getting a QDRO in but your ex's interest in your pension is not protected until it's done.