I want my child's father to sign the Declination of Parental rights paperwork. He has not been in the picture for almost 3 years now. And I just found out that he has an insurance policy on her. What can I do?

Where? Are you talking about Tribal Court - that is the only time I've ever seen the phrase "declination of rights."

Basically he is her father and you cannot force him to relinquish his rights. If he is a danger to her you can apply for a restraining order and deny him visitation.

Does he pay support? Have you filed for support?

Does he pay child support? If not, why not?

You mean if she dies, he gets some money?

Or do you mean she's the beneficiary if he dies?

If the first, that's very strange.

If the second, it sounds like he has some hope of seeing her. Have you interfered in any way with his ability to see her? Even just being unfriendly when he used to come? What happened three years ago to make him stop coming?

We need more details.

You should consult a lawyer about the parental rights. Right now, he's still her father.

I can't say as though he is a danger to her but he has never seen her. We went through a lawyer but got no where. And I prefer to keep it the way its been. I have supported my child 200%. I just don't get why now he just decides to want to take out insurance on her. It makes me curious.

Yes child support has been put into effect but I offered him the option out way before any of this ever came about.

Does he pay child support? If not, why not?

You mean if she dies, he gets some money?

Or do you mean she's the beneficiary if he dies?

If the first, that's very strange.

If the second, it sounds like he has some hope of seeing her. Have you interfered in any way with his ability to see her? Even just being unfriendly when he used to come? What happened three years ago to make him stop coming?

We need more details.

You should consult a lawyer about the parental rights. Right now, he's still her father.


We have went through a lawyer and got no where. I paid out over $2000 just to seek legal advise and help and I am in the position I am in now. It is very strange and it really makes me curious now to why he is doing this.

How about where and are you talking about tribal law?

We have not been to court or anything. I paid a lawyer for advice but it hasn't gotten my daughter or me anywhere. Except in the position we are in now. I went through DSS to try and get some answers but they don't want to work with me either. And my concern is my child and her well-being.

This has completely thrown me in a loop now and I am forced to pay medical expenses out of pocket. It just doesn't seem right. There is something out there that I am not catching and I can't get any answers because my name isn't on her BCBS policy so I have no idea of what it covers and what it doesn't.

So you are saying he has taken out life insurance on HER? That is, if something happens to your daughter, the father is paid? It would help if you could clarify this. That's creepy.

On the other hand if she is the beneficiary of a policy he has taken out on himself, then that's a nice thing.

Which is it?

WHERE AND ARE YOU REFERRING TO TRIBAL LAW? Pardon me for shouting but it's important, necessary info.

It isn't life insurance. It is medical insurance which is something I already have covered. But now they are trying to use this new insurance instead of her primary insurance through me. It is creepy and I hate to think there are people in this world like that but I am stuck on what to do.

I have no idea about tribal law. All that I know is that I went through a Divorce/Family Law attorney back in 2006 and it got me now where. This is my first and hopefully last LEGAL issue. Im a newbie at this. And like I said above, I am stuck on what to do. I have debated whether to go through another attorney or go through DSS to find out what options I have.

I don't think your daughter having health insurance through her father is creepy. How you want to handle that is up to you and the provider. Your insurer will of course want the other company to cover her, unless it's the same company.

I don't know the details of terminating parental rights. In most situations, you need the cooperation of the father. Here is a government website that discusses some of the issues. At least it's a start.

Grounds for Involuntary Termination of Parental Rights (http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/groundtermin.cfm)

Termination of Parental Rights (http://www.childwelfare.gov/permanency/adoption/legal/parentalrights.cfm)

What State?

Is there an order that your ex carry the medical insurance?

North Carolina.

No there is no order for him to carry medical insurance on her. And he has never attempted to before until now. It is just creepy and very strange to me why now he just decides to go take out health insurance on her after almost 3 years of nothing.

Often the support order requires that the non-custodial parent carry medical insurance on the child and he really doesn't have to contact you to get it set up. Why is it creepy? How would he benefit from carrying medical insurance on her?

Call your caseworker to see if this is the case.

As her father, he would have a right to carry life insurance on her.

Thanks for the links. I found a way to contact someone for legal advice.

It just creeps me out. He has never even seen my daughter and he put his foot in his own mouth over child support because I just wanted him to leave us alone. I contacted a CPS worker and she is looking into it. I guess this creeps me out more because I keep thinking about him trying to take her and now that he has health insurance on her running away with her so that I could never see her again.

And that is something I just don't want. I have been there since day one feeding and clothing her. And giving her a place to sleep at night. But now he wants to try and step in. It just doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. That is why I am so lost on what to do. Because I paid out $2000 before to a family attorney who got me no where. And I have begged him to just sign his rights to her away and be done with both of us. It just doesn't seem like that is good enough for him.

Ok. I am starting to see why it bothers you. He wasn't interested her when she was just a kid, but now that she's becoming a teenage girl, he suddenly gets health insurance on her as if he's planning to start playing daddy at this late date. I can see why that would bother you.

But it might be something as simple as he got a better job with health insurance and someone asked him if he had any kids and just added her to the policy automatically. I'm not saying that's what happened. But it COULD be something innocent like that.

Has he ever indicated that he wanted to take her? Are there things about him that make you think he might have a sexual interest in a young teen?

Glad you found legal advice. Good luck!

Well he can't just sign away his parental rights because you're upset. What are you hoping to gain?- especially since he hasn't been involved? I just don't see what you're expecting to change.

Another question, have you heard from him? Do you have reason to think that he has intentions other than trying to do right by his daughter? I don't see how him carrying health insurance would make him more prone to kidnapping. Is there more to this story?

How old is your daughter?

My daughter is only 3 years old. He has NEVER been in the picture and he was offered every opportunity. He never acted on any of them. I did the right thing by every means to try and be civil and decent with him. But he never wanted to do the same for her sake.

I asked him before any legal matter went through if he wanted to do a Termination of Parental rights and he said yes. And would NEVER sign the papers. But now he carries health insurance on her. After almost 3 years.

There is something there that I am not catching. I never forced him into anything. I offered him visitation rights until he decided to take parenting classes and he refused. And he has no shown his face since then. It just makes me worry whether my child is in danger or not.

Just the thought of me losing my baby worries me. And I know that he knows where we live and where we sleep at night. And that alone scares the life out of me.

No he has never had any interest in her whatsoever. Throughout my pregnancy he harassed me and kept calling my cell phone and house phone 10 or more times a night starting around 11pm. And it got to the point where I had to change my telephone numbers. I just don't get why he is doing this now. It is like I am being punished for loving her too much.

I am hoping to gain what is best for my child. And apparently he isn't the best for my child. I have been there 200% since day one. And I would really just like him to go away and leave us be. We make it on our own just fine. I just don't see how someone like him. Someone who has never been there can want to take a 3 year old who doesn't even know him and want to keep her.

It just does not make sense. I want what is best for her no matter what it takes. She is my baby. I am her mother. And as you know a mothers love is unconditional. I am just trying my best to do what is best for her without harming anyone else.

So go to Court, present your evidence, get sole custody with no visitation by the father.

Otherwise you can always notify the Police but I see no threats.

Those are your only choices.

At the top of this forum is a sticky about parental that may help you understand the situation. But the botom line is he can't sign over his rights. Only a court can terminate rights and courts are very reluctant to do so. I see no grounds for your getting his rights terminated.

The issue of the insurance just may be that he has a job that pays fully for coverage so he may just have listed his daughter (its his as well as yours).

As for his taking her from you, that's also unlikely. Unless he can prove that you are unfit as a mother, he has just about no chance to do so.

I don't know what you went through with your previouse attorney. But $2K is not much to process a divorce with a child. I suspect you may not have followed through to get anything done.

But, if you want to protect yourself, then you need to go to court get full legal and physical custody with no visitation. Unless he fights you, you stand a good chance of getting it.

Finally, I will note that if you want help from us, then you need to answer our questions, read our answers and not keep repeating yourself.

It costs often 2000 if there is no fight, 5000 plus is much more common for an attorney just to start a divorce when the couples are not agreeing.

Just to show up at a couple hearings and file the original documents would be over 2000 most of the time.

Can't answer more until the issues asked are answered

There was NEVER a divorce. This was just for legal advice. The $2000 I spent was just to hear an attorney tell me what I should do.

From what you've said, I don't see any reason to think he wants to take your daughter away or that he could even if he wanted to.

What makes you so anxious about this guy?

There was NEVER a divorce. This was just for legal advice. The $2000 I spent was just to hear an attorney tell me what I should do.

Are you married to the father?

There was NEVER a divorce. This was just for legal advice. The $2000 I spent was just to hear an attorney tell me what I should do.


OK, so did you do what the lawyer advised? If there was no divorce, then you are still legally married to the father? Who has been claiming the child as a dependent on tax returns?

Were you EVER married to the father?

The longer this thread goes on, the less sense it makes.

Were you EVER married to the father?

The longer this thread goes on, the less sense it makes.

Can't rep you JKT but I was thinking the same thing. Plus it's not helping that we're not getting straight answers to any of our questions.

OP, come back and give us the FULL story if you want help but working with random bits and pieces makes it really difficult for anyone to advise you.