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Asher
Nov 3, 2006, 03:15 PM
Currently, I'm in the last few years of HS. I recently met a girl in one of my classes and she seems really nice and accepting of me. I really don't know if she likes me or not, but just recently during this lab week, she sat on the seat next to me, not next to the girl who she sat with usually. Yeah, it's a stupid little detail, but w/e.. I don't know.
I don't exactly know how to move on from this to another level. Yeah, sure. The farthest we've ever gotten is talking around the hallway, but I don't know what to do now. I tend to make her laugh too sometimes. I'm trying new things, like complimenting what she wears . She's a really cute, short , and shy Asian girl.
I recently went through a change because my past life these 3 years have been lifeless. I never experienced things that other people did and I feel really left behind because of that.

So far, I'm just thinking about these things:
Does she like me?
Where do I start?
What are some ways of improving our relationship?
Should I ask her out and how?
Maybe I need a job?
What if she dumps me?

It's all the same questions, even though I do know the answers to some.. I just feel really frightened walking on untapped territory.

wizzkid89
Nov 3, 2006, 04:03 PM
First, this is normal, everyone goes through this... Welcome to the real world... lol.

I can understand your apprehensive nature towards this girl, you don't want to make a move and then she isn't interested and then it will become really awkard between both of you. I empathize totally with what you are going through, it's really scary sometimes deciding whether they want to be friends or if they are interested...

But sadly, the only way you are going to find out is if you ask... Now here is the key though...

She obviously likes you okay, there is no reason other than that because she is talking with you and she wants to be near you. So I would suggest you ask her out to the movies, which isn't really like a date because friends go to the movies all the time, and then you will have more time to talk to her than just around the hallway and then maybe the subject of being gf/bf will come up. But honestly your best option is going somewhere public together where you can just have fun, it would be a little too much if you ask her to dinner due to the seriousness that can arise. Movies, bowling, mall are all fun dates where you two can develop a relationship and have more time to talk. And if she has fun then she will want to go on more outings with you and then you can develop a relationship from there. As far as starting, do not ask her over i.m. or myspace girls do not like that. Just one day when it is coming to the weekend and you are talking to her bring up the idea of going to see a new movie that you both might like, or having a fun time bowling, or going to the mall to pick up something you want. Just remember to be calm about it, because if you get nervous then she will probably pick up on the fact you like her. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER TO BE YOURSELF. She want's to hang out with you, not the cooler you, or the funnier you, just be yourself and she will have fun because she obviously likes you for you because she is hanging around you. As far as the other questions go, they will be answered in time. Just remember that everyone has to walk their own paths, some are longer than others, but they all have their purpose. Hopefully I have helped and you have a better outlook on the situation... peace

Asher
Nov 7, 2006, 05:12 PM
I read your advice and I f-ed up at first, but I am learning from my bad errors. I really couldn't get her off my mind last weekend. When I saw her a day after thinking about her endlessly, I ended up being the incredibly shy and reserved person I was way back then. However, today was a totally different story because I felt really confident. During class time, we were all bunched up in our little groups and she seemed to stare off towards the window, then somehow land her eyes on me. She did that many times and I saw her foot being pointed towards my direction, which you stated was a signal of interest. Day after day, I truly believe that I'm progressing because I am truly being myself.

Right now, this is my plan:
Tomorrow, I'm going to try to get to know her more and more.
We have a few days off this week and I might ask if she would like to hang out on one of those days.
I drive too, but I'm scared that I might get lost if I were to bring her somewhere.
I hope that's good so far.

I guess I'll go off and read some dating tips, lols.

wizzkid89
Nov 7, 2006, 05:27 PM
Hey man you are doing great, you are progressing. You know the errors you made and are trying to change than them and that is truly the definition of growing. And it's great to hear that you are being yourself because that is the key to life. I hope your plan goes well and everything works out for you. I am glad I could help... and don't be afraid to post again if you need advice... peace

AlwaysxSinging
Nov 7, 2006, 10:00 PM
How old are you?

Does she like me?
Hard to say from what you've told me. But, there's never a 0% chance of her liking you. You never know.

Where do I start off?
Just talk to her and be yourself. And look at her in her eyes. And, try to smell good at all times. Be flirty, but very casually. You need to know what she likes first, then exhibit some of those things toward her. =]

What are some ways of improving our relationship?
Get to know her! That is always step 1. You need to be fairly good friends before anything should progress.

Should I ask her out and how?
Not yet. Get to know her. Do the "talking" thing and when you're like 80%+ sure, go for it.

Maybe I need a job?
Maybe. But, how is this relevant? =P

What if she dumps me?
Life goes on. That's something that you always have to be prepared for.

Asher
Nov 8, 2006, 07:37 AM
Thanks for your input on my questions.
Currently I am seventeen.

Yeah, about the job part.
I just think that I need a part time job so I can have some extra cash if I were to go out with her many times.
I don't receive that much allowance, so yeah. :\

wizzkid89
Nov 8, 2006, 04:15 PM
Yeah that is good idea, just remember you can have fun without movies. Like walks in the park, playing sports together, watching TV, things of that nature...

Asher
Nov 13, 2006, 06:31 PM
I have another small question.
How often should I pay for things when I go on dates with her?
I'm getting close to the point of asking her out and I'm quite inexperienced with this kind of thing. ;o

Because I'm thinking of driving her, but she (all sponsored by her parents) already pays for a cab every time she goes out.
So should I put this to my advantage or should I pay for half?

wizzkid89
Nov 13, 2006, 07:16 PM
Usually the guy pays for the first few dates, but after you have had a number of dates and you know bringing up this subject of who pays will not bother her, than you can discuss it. But many people have different views on this subject, such as I pay for all the dates. But some split, and it really is more of a person to person thing, but I think it would be a safe bet at least for the first date to pay for everything...

Asher
Nov 13, 2006, 07:32 PM
Hmm.. thanks for your input.
I'm currently worried about good first date spots.
What's a good place to start? The mall? The movies? ;\

ashleysb
Nov 13, 2006, 08:57 PM
No movies, please! You really don't want to take her to the movies on the first few dates. You can't talk, and by the end of the date you won't know anymore about her than you did at the beginning. Going to the mall might be OK, but try something with less people so its not so awkward. Like the others posted, maybe going to the park or just going for a drive...
Just make sure whatever you do, you can talk and get know each other with few interruptions or distractions...

wizzkid89
Nov 14, 2006, 12:51 AM
Ashley brings up a good point... however most movies that I go to we still end up talking a lot, but it might just be a good idea for you to steer clear. The park, like I said, will work and it's very inexpensive, maybe something like mini-putt where you both can have fun and there is plenty of time to talk.. and I think the mall would still be a good idea, even though there is a lot of people, you two would be the only one's conversating and it's a public place so you both won't be nervous. See the problem I have with the drive is that it could end up being really awkard, and it's not really a neutral environment, so if you go to a place with a neutral environment(mall, mini-put, park) you both can be calm and relaxed...

Asher
Nov 14, 2006, 04:11 AM
Thanks guys. I think I have a better idea of approaching this. I actually thought up of some nice places that I visited. Maybe they can be of some good use. I know a nice mall that barely has any people in and it has a nice environment. I hope these places are good. ;o

I'm still confused about the cab part. Her parents give her money to take the cab, but should I let her pay for the cab or should I just pick her up myself?
After I get my job, I'm planning to buy GPS because I get lost so easily, but that'll probably happen in a couple of weeks. So what do you think?
In my mind, I think that I absolutely cannot delay things to the point of me losing her. This is my second attempt in a serious relationship and I don't want to lose it.

wizzkid89
Nov 14, 2006, 03:38 PM
I would advise that you pick her up, because it gives you time to talk and it's a real gentlemenly thing to do, it shows you have class, and it really shows that you care...

Asher
Nov 15, 2006, 03:57 PM
I have things somewhat under control.. I just have to wait a long time.
I found a good priced GPS system, one of the best units at a very low price.
So I guess I can manage driving now.

Today I gave her my number because she forgot her number.
She didn't call yet, but I hope she does in a bit.

I think that I'm progressing nicely, but at a moderately slow pace.
She's starting to call my name more and walk right next to me when she sees me in the hallways.
God, she puts a smile on my face. :]

wizzkid89
Nov 15, 2006, 04:18 PM
Good for you man, just remember to be yourself

Asher
Nov 18, 2006, 06:59 AM
Thank you all. A good number of your tips worked.
How could I ever repay you guys. ;D
I'll post again when something else happens.

Asher
Nov 18, 2006, 05:29 PM
Well, guys. I'm very very sorry for wasting your time. It's too late now.. she wants to remain only as friends.. ~forever~. She messaged me that probably 2-4 times already. I apologize for letting everyone down, but I learned some valuable lessons throughout these past days.

However, if you guys have any insight or ideas for my current situation.. even if there's barely any light of hope.. please share and I'll try it out. My deep feelings her remain, but they're unrequited.. at best.

addy
Nov 18, 2006, 06:59 PM
Currently, I'm in the last few years of HS. I recently met a girl in one of my classes and she seems really nice and accepting of me. I really don't know if she likes me or not, but just recently during this lab week, she sat on the seat next to me, not next to the girl who she sat with usually. Yeah, it's a stupid little detail, but w/e.. I don't know.
I don't exactly know how to move on from this to another level. Yeah, sure. The farthest we've ever gotten is talking around the hallway, but I don't know what to do now. I tend to make her laugh too sometimes. I'm trying new things, like complimenting what she wears . She's a really cute, short , and shy Asian girl.
I recently went through a change because my past life these 3 years have been lifeless. I never experienced things that other people did and I feel really left behind because of that.

So far, I'm just thinking about these things:
Does she like me?
Where do I start off?
What are some ways of improving our relationship?
Should I ask her out and how?
Maybe I need a job?
What if she dumps me?

It's all the same questions, even though I do know the answers to some.. I just feel really frightened walking on untapped territory.
Hey as a chick reading this, i think you should definitely ask her out.you are already half way there by making her laugh and she likes to be around you!! tell me how it turns out!!

Asher
Nov 18, 2006, 07:22 PM
I already did.. -.-;

wizzkid89
Nov 19, 2006, 06:38 PM
The most important things is that you keep your head up asher... Honestly, some people take breakups really badly and while it is okay to feel sad don't let it damage possibilities for future relationships with other girls because you look sad and depressed. Take your time, just go day to day and keep your head up. Eventually, it will pass and you will be thinking about a different girl... Just keep your head up.

Asher
Nov 19, 2006, 07:35 PM
What if I can't think about any other girl? The girl I'm interested in has been on my mind for weeks now.
Well, I guess one will pop-up one day or another..

wizzkid89
Nov 19, 2006, 07:48 PM
Trust me that it takes time, how much depends on the person and seriousness of the relationship... you just have to remind yourself that you don't need her to be you and that if she doesn't want to date you then it is her loss and that you will find someone better in the end. Not only do you have to say that to yourself, you have to believe it... Everything works out in the end, you just have to have trust.