im my own enemy
Nov 3, 2006, 10:20 AM
My parents have been divorced for 8 yrs now and both of them are doing fine. A few months ago my sister’s horse got loose and my mom went out to get him. My mom ended up meeting an old school mate of hers. They start talking and get together. Later on they decided to let him move in. I thought it was a good idea. I like him, he’s really cool, he likes the same things I do, and it is another guy in the house. Then my mom tells me that he has a problem. The problem was that he is on probation and is facing trial for a few DUI’s which happened about 5 years ago. I didn’t like the situation but I trust him, I saw that he was on a big turn around and everything would be just fine. Then she informed me that also a few years ago he got in a big car accident (not his fault). He suffered a brain injury. It affects his memory and under stressful situations (like the situation he is in now) gets paranoid and worries that everyone is against him, after thinking about those (irrational) feelings he begins to believe they are real. Which it seems to me that everyone has been against him for what he has been through. He’s not violent, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. He even talks about helping me get into college.
When trial day came he was really worried. He lost the case and the sentenced him to 9 months. Due to the amount of problems that have occurred he has 240 days of time served which means that they subtract 240 days from his sentence. But the judge didn’t give him all of his time served and put him away.
About 3 months later (presently) he is still in jail, he should be out now, they haven’t released him. He is having more and more bad days because of his brain injury. The whole situation has become overwhelmingly frustrating for all of us, just as we had anticipated. He calls my mom all of the time. She told me about a few weeks ago that they want to get married. I think it is a good idea, I trust that my mom is making a good decision, but I’m not sure. She respects my decision, she says that she won’t bring anything into the family that will make us uncomfortable. All I told her was that I wanted to wait and get him settled down. Let him get back up on his feet before we go any further. I think he will be a little on the jumpy side, I don’t think he will be the same without some counseling. He is scheduled for release within two weeks. My mom wants to set a date. I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea to set a date for a while. She got a little frustrated, but not mad. She told me that she wanted to get married in the spring. I still thought that was too soon. She told me to tell her when I thought was a good time. I said summer might be long enough. She got a little angry at why I didn’t want them to be together.
Here’s the problem, I want them to be together, I’ve told my mom that several times. She thinks that I don’t trust him. Which I do, I know his entire family better than she does, and they know he is not a problem. I can’t help but feel that I should also be in control of the situation. It may be a little selfish, but I worry too much about my mom. What should I do?
When trial day came he was really worried. He lost the case and the sentenced him to 9 months. Due to the amount of problems that have occurred he has 240 days of time served which means that they subtract 240 days from his sentence. But the judge didn’t give him all of his time served and put him away.
About 3 months later (presently) he is still in jail, he should be out now, they haven’t released him. He is having more and more bad days because of his brain injury. The whole situation has become overwhelmingly frustrating for all of us, just as we had anticipated. He calls my mom all of the time. She told me about a few weeks ago that they want to get married. I think it is a good idea, I trust that my mom is making a good decision, but I’m not sure. She respects my decision, she says that she won’t bring anything into the family that will make us uncomfortable. All I told her was that I wanted to wait and get him settled down. Let him get back up on his feet before we go any further. I think he will be a little on the jumpy side, I don’t think he will be the same without some counseling. He is scheduled for release within two weeks. My mom wants to set a date. I told her that I didn’t think it was a good idea to set a date for a while. She got a little frustrated, but not mad. She told me that she wanted to get married in the spring. I still thought that was too soon. She told me to tell her when I thought was a good time. I said summer might be long enough. She got a little angry at why I didn’t want them to be together.
Here’s the problem, I want them to be together, I’ve told my mom that several times. She thinks that I don’t trust him. Which I do, I know his entire family better than she does, and they know he is not a problem. I can’t help but feel that I should also be in control of the situation. It may be a little selfish, but I worry too much about my mom. What should I do?