Hi everyone,

Am looking for opinions as this has me totally stumped.

I met this guy about 3 weeks ago online, we went out after two days, and have since had another 2 great dates. I have stayed over at his house (although not slept with him) we kiss, hold hands get on well.. fab. Now we texted a lot in the beginning and over the last 7 days this has slowed down to say 2/3 texts a day. We were at about 10 texts a day maybe? Now I knew this was a sign he wasn't interested as when I asked him in part of a text message if he fancied doing something at the weekend he dodged it. He was also not answering questions I was asking him. All prepared for the big dump so I thought right lets get this over with... sent him a text on Sat (having last seen him during my lunch break on the monday) "is everything ok as you have been really quiet the last few days"... no response. Fine he isn't interested I can move on. 8 hours later I get a text asking how my trip away is (having previously not asked many questions about what I was getting up to) he seemed more interested on the Sunday with a few more texts although nothing drastic. Turned out in one of the texts he said he had man flu... fair enough... the male end of the world and all that.
Monday, we exchange some texts after my friend had a funny meeting with one of his friends during the weekend. Didn't hear from him then for about 8 hours then get a message saying he has retreated back to his parents house as he is feeling so ill (he's 28) and really doesn't want to go to work as he is feeling so ill... so I think right another prime opportunity to find out if he is interested. So I text him saying " i bet i could make you feel better"... if he is interested most guys would respond How? He responds with a text saying maybe, but then I would spread my illness to you and trust me you don't want it"... What on earth? Perhaps it's the man flu talking?

My friends are suggesting I ignore him for a bit and see if he reacts... I just wanted some other opinions really... especially you guys? Is ignoring him for a bit counter-productive? I am kind of getting to the point where I am ready to give up the chase. But I do like him. He has had plenty of opportunities to ignore me or not talk to me if he isn't interested... I'm SO confused...

Thanks for reading all that... it was a bit novel length! Cheers xx

I think a lot of answers would present themselves if you two would quit texting each other and actually talk to one another, in person or on the phone. Texting is a really bad way to communicate between two people who are just starting on the dating scene.

It seems like you're rushing and reading too far into this relationship. You met him online, get a chance to know him! The guy said, "Maybe..." to your question instead of "how?" He was concerned about getting you sick, and that's what he meant when he said it- he just doesn't want to get you sick. Don't become a high-maintanence girlfriend. Just continue on like nothing happened and forget it. He just didn't want you to get sick- it's that simple.

Hey guys thanks for your advice! It is much appreciated. Jamie your right, I could get an A for being able to look way to deep into an issue that more than likely doesn't exist.. we'll see what happens over the next week or so. Balls in his court, he knows where I am if he wants to get in touch! Thanks again x

Don't worry about reading into it too much. Most women these days (myself included) can get so wrapped up in the way we FEEL about a situation that we become blind to what is really the truth. It's happened to me before. Most guys are simple-minded so it's best not to read into what they say unless they're obviously dropping hints. Just some advice =)

Sweetheart! This is so familiar to me.

I met my man online, and at first he was exactly like this!

He'd be texting me lovely messages, then would stop talking to me for a while. It turns out, he was as paranoid of scaring me off as I was him. It's difficult with a long distance relationship, as you mainly communicate through technology, which is easily misread.

Now he's even hinting he's going to propose.

Don't think about things. Keep yourself busy, if you get a text, wait a while to reply, if he asks why, say you were on a great night out with the girls or something. Just go with the flow, best thing to do to attract a man at first is act like you don't need him. You're a strong independent, hard to get woman.

X Dani