oleandersunset
Oct 11, 2009, 08:51 PM
I'll try to keep back story to a minimum.
I met her two years ago briefly. A year later, we connected via the internet.
I'm 24, she's 22.
We started talking regularly, phone calls and the like. It eventually developed into a long distance relationship. Eventually the "L" word was thrown around and we began taking flights to see one another. Months pass and eventually the concept of me moving out there was tossed up. She wanted this badly and I was in a position in my life where I could. June 2009, I moved out here. 1000 miles from home.
There have been numerous issues since I moved.
Her having feelings for an ex, which eventually expired.
Her being incredibly over-protective of "space" and changing her treatment of me by the week. Eventually, I confronted all of these issues and we got back to the good. Three weeks after, she began breaking up with me constantly, ignoring my phone calls for almost a week at a time. She would come back and be herself again shortly after. The inconsistency was almost reminiscent of a mental illness. After one particularly fantastic weekend, she broke up with me randomly in the car when I attempted to discuss my insecurity with her constantly breaking up with me.
Citing such things as me being "manipulative", selfish, her "resentment" of me and numerous other things, she's swung back and forth from wanting to be with me to not wanting to be with me since that breakup. My best friends, all of whom I've known since first grade are particularly amused by this. Self deprecating at times? Definitely. Manipulative? I couldn't persuade a man in a desert to drink water.
Case in point.
This is not the girl I fell in love with.
My guess?
She feels obligated to me because I moved here for her.
She was not ready for the fantasy to become reality, despite her conflicting statements.
She feels that I need to develop a life of my own here.
(I do, though it's been hard to go out and meet new people in a depressing rut)
She says this all happened very quickly and that we instantly went into "you're the love of my life" mode. I wouldn't call 4-5 months instantly, but it was a bit quick. I trusted her, though. She says she loves me, is still in love with me and wants to be with me, but does not believe we're capable of going back there. I'm one hundred percent we are. (And have proved it to her as early as a week ago.)
So, I've done the traditional foolish things such as begging, pleading and breaking down.
I can't live my life like this anymore. It's been a month of this on and off. I need to develop a life in this new state. I don't know anyone here and the winters are awful.
I've been thinking about employing NC to both better myself and show her what life is like without me, especially with me so close after being away for so long.
Thoughts?
Anything?
Help?
I met her two years ago briefly. A year later, we connected via the internet.
I'm 24, she's 22.
We started talking regularly, phone calls and the like. It eventually developed into a long distance relationship. Eventually the "L" word was thrown around and we began taking flights to see one another. Months pass and eventually the concept of me moving out there was tossed up. She wanted this badly and I was in a position in my life where I could. June 2009, I moved out here. 1000 miles from home.
There have been numerous issues since I moved.
Her having feelings for an ex, which eventually expired.
Her being incredibly over-protective of "space" and changing her treatment of me by the week. Eventually, I confronted all of these issues and we got back to the good. Three weeks after, she began breaking up with me constantly, ignoring my phone calls for almost a week at a time. She would come back and be herself again shortly after. The inconsistency was almost reminiscent of a mental illness. After one particularly fantastic weekend, she broke up with me randomly in the car when I attempted to discuss my insecurity with her constantly breaking up with me.
Citing such things as me being "manipulative", selfish, her "resentment" of me and numerous other things, she's swung back and forth from wanting to be with me to not wanting to be with me since that breakup. My best friends, all of whom I've known since first grade are particularly amused by this. Self deprecating at times? Definitely. Manipulative? I couldn't persuade a man in a desert to drink water.
Case in point.
This is not the girl I fell in love with.
My guess?
She feels obligated to me because I moved here for her.
She was not ready for the fantasy to become reality, despite her conflicting statements.
She feels that I need to develop a life of my own here.
(I do, though it's been hard to go out and meet new people in a depressing rut)
She says this all happened very quickly and that we instantly went into "you're the love of my life" mode. I wouldn't call 4-5 months instantly, but it was a bit quick. I trusted her, though. She says she loves me, is still in love with me and wants to be with me, but does not believe we're capable of going back there. I'm one hundred percent we are. (And have proved it to her as early as a week ago.)
So, I've done the traditional foolish things such as begging, pleading and breaking down.
I can't live my life like this anymore. It's been a month of this on and off. I need to develop a life in this new state. I don't know anyone here and the winters are awful.
I've been thinking about employing NC to both better myself and show her what life is like without me, especially with me so close after being away for so long.
Thoughts?
Anything?
Help?