My 3 year old son, his mother and I moved to Napa approximately 6 months ago. We rented a home together, leased in both our names. We were actually living together as a family for the first time. Our son was born in New York and I am the father listed on the birth certificate. My son's mom moved all her belongings here, has the utilities in her name and licensed and registered her car in California. Our son was attending Montessori preschool and was well-settled in our new community.

Approximately three weeks ago she indicated she was going to fly to Aspen, Colorado to visit her brother and his family. She communicated little in the first week except for indicating she planned to stay another week. The second week turned into a third and she has just informed me that she does not intend to return to California. She refuses to communicate further. I informed her by email that this is kidnapping and have no reply.

What steps must I take to have my son returned to California, at least to the extent of establishing a parenting plan? I am in a position to sshare custody and do not want to be an absentee father in our son's life---Is there some form of emergent hearing I can request that will establish this case within California---all my son's personal furniture and belongings remain in our home--as does her California registered car--Can California take jurisdiction over the case and establish what custody plan is to be established?

I would truly appreciate any and all help that can be provided...

I am an unmarried father of a wonderful three year old. Our little family moved to California exactly 5 1/2 months ago. My son's mother left the state three weeks ago for what was supposed to be a 1 week visit with family. She now refuses to return. I do understand the 6 month implications. My son had spent time since birth in Massachsetts prior to our move. We moved here and "connected" with the area. We leased a large beautiful home for six months, joined parents groups, enrolled our little boy in Montessori preschool etc. I have another teen age son that is in high schooll here in California etc. My older son is crushed to not have his baby brother in our home. I have extended the lease on our home and want to remain here.

My son's mother left all her furniture and personal belongings here in California as well as her new car which was just licensed and registered in California a month ago---

Do the "significant connection" guidelines overcome the 5 1/2 month situation--or should I wait 2 more weeks to actually have 6 months in the state?--

My son's mother owns a home in Massachusetts but it is leased for a year and she relies on the rent for income.

Thanks in advance for help--I miss my little boy and want Calif. To have jurisdiction.

You need to file an emergency order with the courts for custody. Its called an exparte order.. mean emergency. If she fails at contact then she is guilty of parental kidnapping. You need to do this right away. Get a lawyer and get into court. If she refuses custody in any way she can be in deep trouble. ( all of this is under the assumption that you have lived in California for longer then 6 months ) If not then you will have to file where you last lived 6 months.

Either get a lawyer in Napa or contact the family law faciliator's office. Set the matter for an ex parte hearing to establish custody, report the matter to the local DA's office, follow the local rules on giving notice to the mom of the hearing and go to the hearing.

California has custody jurisdiction. But don't delay on this.

Was any court order ever issued to establish custody?

Please don[t start new threads, merely add to the original.

I have merged.

If you have not lived with the child, ( the child is not in state now) so you will not make the 6 months. So it appears your previous state would have jurisdiction

please don[t start new threads, merely add to the orginal.

I have merged.

If you have not lived with the child, ( the child is not in state now) so you will not make the 6 months. So it appears your previous state would have jurisdiction

Under the UCCJEA the child does not need to be present in the state for the state to have jurisdiction (this is often referred to in case law as "recent home state jurisdiction"). If California was the child's home state (meaning he had lived in the state with a parent or person acting as a parent for 6 months with periods of temporary absences included) but the child is absent from the state and there is a stay-behind parent, the state (here California) still has exclusive child custody jurisdiction. Of course if more than 6 months has passed since the child's departure jurisdiction might be (but is not necessarily) elsewhere.

My 3 year old son, his mother and I moved to Napa approximately 6 months ago. We rented a home together, leased in both our names. We were actually living together as a family for the first time. Our son was born in New York and I am the father listed on the birth certificate. My son's mom moved all her belongings here, has the utilities in her name and licensed and registered her car in California. Our son was attending Montessori preschool and was well-settled in our new community.

Approximately three weeks ago she indicated she was going to fly to Aspen, Colorado to visit her brother and his family. She communicated little in the first week except for indicating she planned to stay another week. The second week turned into a third and she has just informed me that she does not intend to return to California. She refuses to communicate further. I informed her by email that this is kidnapping and have no reply.

What steps must I take to have my son returned to California, at least to the extent of establishing a parenting plan? I am in a position to sshare custody and do not want to be an absentee father in our son's life---Is there some form of emergent hearing I can request that will establish this case within California---all my son's personal furniture and belongings remain in our home--as does her California registered car--Can California take jurisdiction over the case and establish what custody plan is to be established?

I would truly appreciate any and all help that can be provided....

I am an unmarried father of a wonderful three year old. Our little family moved to California exactly 5 1/2 months ago. My son's mother left the state three weeks ago for what was supposed to be a 1 week visit with family. She now refuses to return. I do understand the 6 month implications. My son had spent time since birth in Massachsetts prior to our move. We moved here and "connected" with the area. We leased a large beautiful home for six months, joined parents groups, enrolled our little boy in Montessori preschool etc. I have another teen age son that is in high schooll here in California etc. My older son is crushed to not have his baby brother in our home. I have extended the lease on our home and want to remain here.

My son's mother left all her furniture and personal belongings here in California as well as her new car which was just licensed and registered in California a month ago---

Do the "significant connection" guidelines overcome the 5 1/2 month situation--or should I wait 2 more weeks to actually have 6 months in the state?--

my son's mother owns a home in Massachusetts but it is leased for a year and she relies on the rent for income.

Thanks in advance for help--I miss my little boy and want Calif. to have jurisdiction.

Is still say California has jurisdiction, even if your son was not in California a full 6 months. There are alternative bases for jurisdiction other than home state (it sounds like your son has no home state as it is). I'd say you have significant connection jurisdiction.

File your case in Napa County and you should be fine.

Thank you so much for this help. I am concerned about being a few days short---

Other considerations are that allthe utilities in our California home are still in moms name. Her new car (purchased just a month ago in California) is registered and licensed her---and parked here in our driveway. She moved ALL her belongings into this house from her lifelong accumulation of art, cooking gear, clothing, books and furniture. This was a very large expensive cross-country move from New York. All things are still here. She left for Colorado with one suitcase ( and our boy ). My other teenage son (half-brother) is here and broken-hearted. I don't know how the court regards breaking up an "extended family" ? I don't know what to do but think I will probably file here... thanks again

You never answered my question about a court order establishing custody. Absent such a court order or one that established visitation, then she was free to move. The only way you can get things back is by filing in court for custody and/or visitation.

Sorry, no there has never been so much as a discussion about custody... let alone either of us going into court for orders. What she did though was not actually a moveaway. She left the home we share here with one suitcase leaving everything behind. The "visit" with family in Colorado was represented to be 10 days. Prior to her scheduled departure she phoned and said she was going to stay another week. The following week she phoned and said she did not intend to come back--and that "at some point in the future we should talk about how much visitation I might think I want"...

My concern is that she might leave Colorado and return to New York state where our boy was born... ALL her worldly belongings are here---but she does own an apartment (that is leased to others for another 6 months)---

If New York took jurisdiction it would mean very limited access to my son if for no other reason than the economics of conducting life on opposite sides of the country. My work is here ---my other son is here and happy in school. I also want the boys to remain as close as they are---

Do you think I should wait the few days until I hit 6 months to file?---or do the issues of connectivity overcome the few days?

Thanks--

I think you need to go to court ASAP to establish custody.

Do you think I should wait the few days until I hit 6 months to file?---or do the issues of connectivity overcome the few days?

Thanks--


To quote Cadillac, post #3 - and he's an Attorney practicing family law in California, by the way: "But don't delay on this."

That seems to sum it up.

To quote Cadillac, post #3 - and he's an Attorney practicing family law in California, by the way: "But don't delay on this."

That seems to sum it up.

Thanks Judy. Also I'm in the county right next door to this fellow and I've appeared in that court several times before.

Yes, he needs to file right away. No delays.

Sorry, no there has never been so much as a discussion about custody...let alone either of us going into court for orders. What she did though was not actually a moveaway. She left the home we share here with one suitcase leaving everything behind. The "visit" with family in Colorado was represented to be 10 days. Prior to her scheduled departure she phoned and said she was going to stay another week. The following week she phoned and said she did not intend to come back--and that "at some point in the future we should talk about how much visitation I might think I want"....

My concern is that she might leave Colorado and return to New York state where our boy was born....ALL her worldly belongings are here---but she does own an apartment (that is leased to others for another 6 months)---

If New York took jurisdiction it would mean very limited access to my son if for no other reason than the economics of conducting life on opposite sides of the country. My work is here ---my other son is here and happy in school. I also want the boys to remain as close as they are---

Do you think I should wait the few days until I hit 6 months to file?---or do the issues of connectivity overcome the few days?

Thanks--

I'd advise you file ASAP. Now that your son is out of the state waiting until you hit the 6 month mark isn't going to matter (his absence now from Calif. Does not appear to be temporary). California still has jurisdiction so don't wait.

Also----It just occurred to me this afternoon. My son may have been born in New York state---and has spent time until he moved to California in New York---BUT---his mother is NOT a legal resident of New York. She also owns property in Connecticut and because she is able to benefit from lower State taxes she files taxes from Connecticut address, has a Connecticut drivers license, votes in Connecticut.. This seems important---? If she is not legal resident of New York---why would they want to "home state" my son?

Also----It just occurred to me this afternoon. My son may have been born in New York state---and has spent time until he moved to California in New York---BUT---his mother is NOT a legal resident of New York. She also owns property in Connecticut and because she is able to benefit from lower State taxes she files taxes from Connecticut address, has a Connecticut drivers license, votes in Connecticut..? This seems important---? If she is not legal resident of New York---why would they want to "home state" my son?

Everything you mentioned is completely irrelevant to child custody jurisdiction. It makes no difference whatsoever where your son was born or where the mom is or was a resident. The residence of the parents has nothing to do with custody jurisdiction. If you are interested in how child custody jurisdiction works (and this is uniform throughout the entire US) Google or look at wikipedia's article on the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA).

Thank you so much--I have scheduled an exparte motion to be heard tomorrow

Good luck and keep us posted

Today did not provide a very good outcome. My son's mom was able to locate a friend-of-friend civil attorney in San Francisco who appeared telephonically. I believed I had established all the jurisdictional connectivity issues to overcome any question related to being in California couirt 12 days prior to a full six months.

The matter was heard by a commissioner.---Mom's attorney said she was already back in New York (which I know to be untrue) and that she had been in California for a 4 month "vacation".

The commissioner ruled that inasmuch as there is a dispute--the issue of whether my son be returned at all is to be heard at a hearing. He shortened time---still requiring until November 9th---

If she is getting legal representation, they you should get your own. The ruling by the commissioner seems logical. At least you weren't ruled against, but he was just passing the buck to a judge.

Today did not provide a very good outcome. My son's mom was able to locate a friend-of-friend civil attorney in San Francisco who appeared telephonically. I believed I had established all the jurisdictional connectivity issues to overcome any question related to being in California couirt 12 days prior to a full six months.

The matter was heard by a commissioner.---Mom's attorney said she was already back in New York (which I know to be untrue) and that she had been in California for a 4 month "vacation".

The commissioner ruled that inasmuch as there is a dispute--the issue of whether my son be returned at all is to be heard at a hearing. He shortened time---still requiring until November 9th---

What your going to need to do is "prove" it wasn't just a vacation. You had said some things were in her name ? Make sure you bring with you the utility bills as well as the auto registrations that are in her name. Did she also acquire a drivers licence in her name ? Get a copy if you can. Was she also on the phone and were you allowed to ask questions ? You have the right to do so. Now is the time to get your interogacies out and get them back quickly. I agree with Scott that its in your best interest to hire a lawyer if you can. You need to move quickly on all this. Also if you can prove she gave up residence where she used to live. It will prove a move rather then a vacation. Was this lawyer that spoke approved with the Calif Bar Assc ? Were they from Calif ?

Today did not provide a very good outcome. My son's mom was able to locate a friend-of-friend civil attorney in San Francisco who appeared telephonically. I believed I had established all the jurisdictional connectivity issues to overcome any question related to being in California couirt 12 days prior to a full six months.

The matter was heard by a commissioner.---Mom's attorney said she was already back in New York (which I know to be untrue) and that she had been in California for a 4 month "vacation".

The commissioner ruled that inasmuch as there is a dispute--the issue of whether my son be returned at all is to be heard at a hearing. He shortened time---still requiring until November 9th---

First, this is not the end of the world, so don't despair. All the judge did was set you for a hearing to see what is going on (and you got it on shortened time, so that's a good sign). Second, you said the mom hired some "civil attorney" in SF, which is also a good sign since he probably doesn't normally do family law and may not know zip about it, which gives you an advantage (this civil attorney may have never even heard of the UCCJEA).

But as Calidad said, get your evidence together to show mom and the kid were not on some extended vacation in California (think of things like, did mom have a job here, did she apply for one, did she register a car here, get a Cal. drivers license, enroll the child in school or daycare?. etc. anything that would point to the intent to settle in).

By the way, a Court Commissioner is a judge in California for all intents and purposes (I address them as "judge" when I'm in front of them in court for instance): they are not elected or appointed by the Governor like full-fledged judges but instead are hired by the other judges to fill the need for judicial officers in larger counties. They make the same salary and have the same duties of a judge but usually sit on a permanent assignment in some department doing one thing. Family law Commissioners are typically more experienced and know more about family law than regular judges because they don't get rotated around to different areas, like probate and criminal law, or the civil bench. Many of them were former family law specialists (like me), get the job as commissioner and then sit there for 20 years doing family law. So I'd show them a lot of respect. But it's like anything in life, some are good, some are awful, that's how it is.

By the way, a Court Commissioner is a judge in California for all intents and purposes .

Thanks for that clarification.