My ex was awarded sole legal and physical custody of our son, not including visitation, what are my paternal rights if any.

What do you mean not including visitation? Did you ask for it? Did you ask to share custody?

Need more information. I'm assuming you have visitation rights. Are they to be supervised? Why did she get sole legal custody?

You always have "rights" to your children unless they are terminated in a court of law. In your case, that is not what happened. It sounds like you went to court and a custody order was entered with visitation rights to you as opposed to "shared" custody. There must be reasons. We need you to tell us more about what happened.

From the sounds of it I believe your only 'right' you currently have is to pay support. I put right in quotes because its an obligation, not a right.

If you want other rights, you need to get into court and request them - custody, visitation, etc.

Thank you for your responses, I have been in contempt of court 3 times, and she is taking me back for the 4th time. She has asked me to give up all visitation due to the fact I just got out of jail and owe her over 10,000 in child support and medical, legal bills. I am the father and think I should be able to do what I want with my son.

I am the father and think I should be able to do what i want with my son.

Umm no. Parenting is a partnership. You cannot do 'what you want' with your son without involving the mother. Also, what you want to do has to be in the best interests of the child, not you.

On the other hand, I support your desire to be a part of your child's life as long as its in his best interests. But I have to question whether it is given that you have a criminal record. Without knowing what crime you served time for, its hard to judge.

You also indicate that you have been in contempt of court 3 times. What's that about? If you cannot follow the court order, why do you think you deserve to be a part of your child's life?

I think we need a LOT more background here before we can give good advice.

I was put in jail for obstruction of justice when I hit an officer of the court, in the 3rd contempt, multiple duis. I am trying to get my life back together and want to be a good father when I am out of this dip I have been in. I know I have been a bad father to my son I have beat him told him he should go out and stay with the dogs because he wet the bed, but I also know that I can be a good influence to him when I get to see him. I live with my parents so he has a good place to come to when I can see him. However I will probably have to have supervised visits until his mother allows otherwise. She keeps telling me I have no paternal rights, this can't be true I am his father.

I was put in jail for obstruction of justice when I hit an officer of the court, in the 3rd contempt, multiple duis. I am tring to get my life back together and want to be a good father when I am out of this dip I have been in. I know I have been a bad father to my son I have beat him told him he should go out and stay with the dogs because he wet the bed, but I also know that I can be a good influence to him when I get to see him. I live with my parents so he has a good place to come to when I can see him. However I will probally have to have supervised visits until his mother allows otherwise. She keeps telling me I have no paternal rights, this can't be true I am his father.

You have BEAT him?

You should never be allowed to see your child again and I hope you go back to jail for the 4th time.

I have told him I was sorry and I would never do it again. I can't afford to go back to jail it just doesn't work for me. I told my ex I would work with her to come up with a reselution. I have offered to give her $500 as a down payment for the debt I owe, and have offered to suspend my visitation until it is more convenient for me to see him. She just doesn't want me in his life it seems.

Listen, I get that you have apologized to him, but honestly, that doesn't matter to a child and I am on her side here. If I were her, I would be fighting hard in court to have your rights permanently revoked.

There simply is no excuse for beating a child and in my opinion, you do not deserve to be a father anymore.

First, it doesn't matter what your wife says about your parental rights. It only matters what the court says. So you need to get a copy of the court order and see what IT says about your rights.

Frankly, though, I would not be surprised to find your rights have been terminated or at lease severely restricted. It may be that you have to prove to the court that you are sober and have conquered your anger management issues.

So that's the situation. Find out what the court ordered and what you have to do to have the court allow you to be a part of your son's life. In the meantime, you need to work on your alcoholism, anger issues AND to do as much as you can to pay your arrears and provide support for your child. Even if you never get to see your child, you are responsible for supporting him.

Well I understand I have been horrible. I am trying to change. I would just like to know If I temporarily give up my supervised visitation do I have any paternal rights.

well I understand I have been horrible. I am tring to change. I would just like to know If I temperarily give up my supervised visitation do I have any paternal rights.

If you do not comply with what the court has ordered/allowed its possible that the mother will have additional grounds to get ALL visitation terminated.

The divorce decree states she has sole legal and physical custody, I have visitation rights, I am also supposed to give her a copy of my dmv so that she can modify my visitation if it has any negative marks, my license is suspended now and I can have my other or father drive me to get him so I really don't see the pupose of her having a copy

the divorce decree states she has sole legal and physical custody, I have visitation rights, I am also suposed to give her a copy of my dmv so that she can modify my visitation if it has any negative marks, my license is suspended now and I can have my other or father drive me to get him so I really dont see the pupose of her having a copy

Who said you have to give her a copy... the divorce decree or some other court order?

The divorce decree and in all three contempts

the divorce decree states she has sole legal and physical custody, I have visitation rights, I am also suposed to give her a copy of my dmv so that she can modify my visitation if it has any negative marks, my license is suspended now and I can have my other or father drive me to get him so I really dont see the pupose of her having a copy

You don't seem to get it do you?? You have screwed up royally. And the only you are going to dig yourself out of this deep hole you have dug for yourself is by doing EVERYTHING the court has ordered, making sure every I is dotted and every t crossed.

If the court ordered that you give her a copy of your DMV status, then you do it, without whining or complaining. If she curtails your visitation because of it you have only yourself to blame. You then work harder to get and stay clean.

You don't seem to get it do you??? You have screwed up royally. And the only you are going to dig yourself out of this deep hole you have dug for yourself is by doing EVERYTHING the court has ordered, making sure every i is dotted and every t crossed.

If the court ordered that you give her a copy of your DMV status, then you do it, without whining or complaining. If she curtails your visitation because of it you have only yourself to blame. You then work harder to get and stay clean.

And that's pretty much all there is to it.

I know I screwed up royaly but its not really my fault she made me this person. When I got out of jail and started going to AA I called her to say I was sorry as part of my 12 step program and all she wanted to do is at me and tell me the medical insurancethat I have to provide is just a discount card and won't pay anything. I don't see that as my problem it says its insurance. Then she calls me when I'm busy trying to earn some money. I told her I was to busy to deal with the problam and would take care of it when I had some free time, this wasn't good enough for her I guess so she filed for the 4rth contempt. What really gives her the right to ruin my life like this.

What gives her the right?

The fact that you're not doing ANYTHING because it's best for your son?

The fact that you're not taking personal responsibility for any of the things that YOU have done (or not done)?

The fact that if you're required to provide insurance and all you can scrounge up is a discount card that 'says" insurance---which probably doesn't help your son at all?

The fact that you only want to deal with her when it is convenient for YOU?

GROW UP!

This isn't about YOU, it's about your SON. Maybe if you figure THAT out, and make him the number one priority, then you'll get it.

Until then, you sound like a whiny, selfish teenager who blames everyone but himself for the problems he got himself into.

I am 33 years old, My mother told me that I didn't ask to come into this world. So she will provide for me any way she can. I wasn't asked if I wanted a kid so therefore she should be responsible for him. However he is here and I feel I should be in control of my ex. My father raised me that the man she be in control of his woman at all times. I want to be able to teach my son to grow up to be A good man and don't think any women can teach him how to be a man.

I am 33 years old, My mother told me that i didnt ask to come into this world. so she will provide for me any way she can. I wasnt asked if I wanted a kid so therefore she should be responsible for him. However he is here and I feel I should be in control of my ex. My father raised me that the man she be in control of his woman at all times. I want to be able to teach my son to grow up to be A good man and dont think any women can teach him how to be a man.

So your mother is an enabler and your father is an abusive control freak and this qualifies you to be a parent?

You cannot teach your son how to be a man... you have no idea.

Well thanks for your replies. I am going to take it all in and come up with a resolution on my own since no one here seems to side with me. I quess this whole problem is my parents fault because of them and all the other stupid people in the world I can't live the way I want. Like I have already said I didn't ask for any of this.

Well thanks for your replies. I am going to take it all in and come up with a resolution on my own since no one here seems to side with me. I quess this whole problem is my parents fault because of them and all the other stupid people in the world I can't live the way I want. Like I have already said I didnt ask for any of this.

No, you didn't ask for any of it. But here is a freebie for you on your road to realization...

A real man doesn't complain about why things are the way they are... he just deals with them like a man.

So far you are not.

And you can live the way you want so long as it complies with the law. Currently you are not complying with the law.

Boy (and I do mean boy), do you need help. The first thing you need to do is take responsibility for your actions. YOU chose to have sex with the mother of your child! YOU chose to drive drunk! YOU chose fight with a court officer! These were all choices YOU made, not your mother, not your father, not the mother of your child.

Yes, your parents may have enabled your behaviour, but you are 33 yrs old. Don't you think its time to grow up? You won't grow up if you continue to blame everyone but yourself.

I don't see any reason for anyone here to "side" with you, because you are wrong about just about everything. We are not here to side with you, we are here to provide the best quality answers and advice in response to your questions. And that's what you have gotten.

Do with that advice what you will, but until you grow up you will not be a fit father for your child.

I have to add one more thing. We have had many people ask questions here, but you are probably one of the most unsympathetic posters I can recall. I would like to tell you to stay out of your child's life but my principles prevent me from doing so. I am committed to give you the best advice I can and have done so. I sincerely hope you take it for your sale and your childs's.

I stopped reading right after you blamed your ex for the person you've become and then went onto say that a man should be in control and that a woman couldn't possibly teach your son to be a good man, you'd have to do that.
So let me ask you, what makes you a good man? Are you a good man for beating your son? NO. are you a good man for telling your son to lie with the dogs? NO. are you a good man for hitting an officer? NO. are you a good man for haing even 1 DUI? NO. wow. The answer always seems to be NO. and you can't even take responsibility for your actions. Shame on you, blaming her. Now how exactly are you going to be a good influence on your son? You sound like scum.

I can't add much more to all that's been said on here but to say I agree with all the answers/advice.

How sad that this boy is supposed to just wait it out until his dad gets his s**t together.

If you had any father potential in you, you wouldn't be blaming anyone for your situation, first of all. You would get your sorry a** into a parenting class and for pete's sake pay your child support so your son has what he needs.

As you spend your time trying to sober up, in and out of jail, and having your pity party, your son is growing up without you and his mother is struggling to do it ALL on her own.

I guess it would be okay if your son winds up in jail someday and blames it on you, the man.

I don't believe for a minute you came to this website seeking legal advice on your rights to be in your son's life. You're here because you want to find out how to "win". That's what it's all about. Your ex got one up on you, huh? Honestly, you make me sick.