I became involved with someone from Canada (I live in US)... he had financial difficulties due to their IRS and I basically supported him through Western Union for a year or two (we were supposed to be married). It is a substantial amount of money (approx 50K). Where do I begin to pursue this? Through OUR government or contact the Canadian Govt? And what options do I have here, if any? Thank you

Evening, you would have to chase him through the courts in the land he lives in, so if he is in Canada still, it is there you would have to pursue. Obviously having western union receipts is a help, but you will need to demonstrate what arrangement the money was for. Contact a canadian law firm in the city/town he lives in and they should offer basic advice from the outset. Wish you luck

Thank you so much for the advice... I DO have western union receipts (many, many, many) and I'm not sure if emails from/to him regarding the money would help any, but I have them too. Would it matter any if I could show there was in deed a serious relationship between us, i.e. phone records that we have been conversing for over 3 years, promises of marriage, his "revenue" problems, etc?

Please bear in mind, I am not expert on legal matters, nor am I canadian, or american but english.

Through many years of experiences etc, I do have an understanding of the philosophy of western law.

Which is mostly what is deemed fair and what can be shown as a crime.

One question keeps coming back to me - when did he end the relationship with you - and why?

I ask as the law in all our countries on this issue is quite straight forward.

Did he promise you something just for financial gain, which it does sound like.

In this situation, it would be a crime - obtaining monies by decpetion.

So if the relationship ended once he obtained cash from you, it does sound like he has conned you and you could win a legal battle to get it back.

However, you need to be honest with yourself, did you give him the cash with no expectations of getting it back, or as you say in the emails did he state it was a loan etc and you would be paid back.

The fact that a serious relationship was occurring has very little bearing.

Wife's or husbands can lend money to their partners with either understanding and therefore in the eyes of the law it is what the deal was at the time

Does this help you further?

Phlanx

Thank you Phlanx - you've been very helpful... The relationship has not ended - its just that my gut instincts are beginning to kick in (I know I know - you are probably thinking "dumb american woman" lol)... I am just finding it suspicious that his country is conducting an "audit" and according to what HE says... they freeze all your accounts - no access to ANY of your money until the audit is complete... audit IS complete - but that it took over a year - and now his bank is telling him that because his accounts/safe deposits etc have been "inactive" for a length of time... the accounts have been closed and his money is now in "limbo" and new bank cards, etc must come from main branch of bank - some 1,800 miles away. He must receive these cards in the mail and "swipe" them at the bank to do any banking at his branch... I can't say its any different as I don't know the rules/laws there - and then I get told how slow the mail is there... which I HAVE noticed when he sends me things, or I send HIM things - sometimes they don't even arrive... I am just beginning to just think ahead just in case I AM actually being conned. From what he says, he is a lobsterfisherman who makes a lot of money - so I don't think it is that he got in over his head borrowing from me and not able to pay it back...
Anyway, thank you so much for answering and taking the time... gratefully, Deb

I grew in a family that promoted mis trust and tottaly negativity.

To the point where I had to break free (flares were in fashion so I don't need to say when exactly :)

This led me to find a better life for myself, and the one thing I wanted was trust.

Sure I have been burnted (bitten) a few times, but I would rather have the scars of trust than the dents of mistrust

Besides I don't discriminate between the sexes when it comes to dumb americans :)

Please excuse the pun, but I can't help myself - it does sound a little fishy :)

But US can freeze bank accounts for a length of time, over here it is The Crown that freezes the bak accounts, and I would assume Canada might be the same (depending on English or French maybe) as our Queen is still the head of state over there

However, when you state the bank has placed the account in limbo is very weird - it cannot do anything with the bank acount once the state has frozen it. And when they unfreeze it, it should revert back to what is was before.

And there lies another problem, freezing a bank account of anybody is the last step in a very lengthy process, so I have to ask the question why freeze it in the first place unless he has being doing something he shouldn't - like not paying tazes for years, refusing to pay for years, being taken to court and still refuses and then the state has no choice.

But this is just one of many things I can think off why he has.

I can understand the distance thing, having a distant cousin living in yellowknife area, it takes them 2 days to go to the supermarket!

I wish you well with eveyrthing and hope it turns out for the best

Steve

Hi Steve... glad you are not a sexist when it comes to Americans! Lol... you've been sweet answering this thread. I guess I'm fortunate that my radar DID finally surface - I will just wait a bit to see what transpires and won't put myself in a position like this again - cause if I do, I'll be living in a tent soon!. Wishing you the best in all your endeavors - Deb

Would it matter any if I could show there was in deed a serious relationship between us, ie phone records that we have been conversing for over 3 years, promises of marriage, his "revenue" problems, etc?Hello d:

Actually, it would HURT you... He, more than likely, will say the money was a gift. In support of his claim, IF there were dates for repayment that were NOT met, and there were subsequent "loans", his "gift" scenario looks more plausible. That would be because nobody could reasonably expect to be repaid AFTER a missed repayment deadline. If you gave him more money after that, it looks like a gift.

It's better for you to argue that this was strictly a business proposition.

excon

Do you have a physcial real relatinship, one person going to actually visit the other ?

But the government has nothing to do with it, what you do is sue them in court for the money.

You will need to prove these were loans not a gift,

The date of repayment was stated to me when his "bank card" (which he needs to do ANY banking at his branch - apparently you need to swipe this card to get into your safetey deposit box or even just cashing a check - any bank transaction needs to accompany a swipe of the cards that are taking forever to come from the main branch by mail.

As far as meeting him in person (going back and forth), that has been impossible as he has no funds to get here or to send money for me to come up there - I, in turn, have had no travelling money as I have been sending it to him to keep his utilities on, school things for his 16 year old son. He stated that many people up there end up in "unit 9" of the hospital because of the hardship this "audit" and banking situation has caused them. As for proving these were not gifts, I'm not sure I can do that, except for some emails... but I can certainly prove him stating love for me, and that he wants me to move "home" with him, etc etc..

Thank you all for your thoughts... but I loved the saying Phlanx gave regarding he would rather have scars from trusting than dents from mistrust...

Although the thought of not being able to recoup this money... I took out profit sharing loans, cashed in some jewelry and have not had a cent to my name just trying to keep his home running up there... but I Think the worst of it would be that I become an untrusting and hard bitter person.

If the need arises that I DO have to take him to court... would that be a CANADIAN court or a US court?

I don't mean to say this wrong, esp since you are sending money by western union, there are men and women of course also, that run scams, they online date dozens of people and seem to need money for this bill or that bill.

Do you have a physcial mailing address that you mail money to, * checks" not just western union money.

Also do you have phone numbers where you call and talk to each other a lot

Yes, I have mailing address for him, phone number... which I have all googled... all come up fine... I know his family and have talked to them through email many times... I have been very involved in his life up there - all on the pretense that it would EVENTUALLY be MY life too.

I guess I'm reeeeeeealy naïve as I never saw this coming... if he IS running the scam and conned me out of this money - then he must be sooooooo good in covering his tracks - I feel I know the entire town with all his details, etc. and I have tried to "trip him up" with things and have not been able to... lol, there have been times when he has been "tipping his elbow" lol and I thought I could get him to mess up - still nothing...

I don't want to give the impression that I am a stupid naïve person, because I consider myself quite intelligent - however, I believe in going with your "gut" feeling, and THAT'S telling me I'm being conned... an expensive lesson to say the least