Can I sue my soon to be ex-husbands mistress I live in New Jersey she lives in New York city. I found out they have been together for at least 20 years. I called her when she answered and I told her Iwho I was she hung up the phone on me.

Sue her for what?

You can try to sue her - it will VERY likely be a waste of your time and money.

20 years?? Wow. I can only imagine how badly you would want to shake up her world.

But, I agree with Steve, I can't think of any legal reason that you could go after her, otherwise everybody who has been cheated on would be suing the third party.

I'll chime in here too. What grounds do you think you have for a suit. Very few states still have Alienation of Affection laws.

You may be able to name her as a co-respondant in your divorce but not much more.

Afternoon, I am from England, and over here, we still have a law on the books which covers the Engagement Act.

Basically states, that you can sue a person for failing the verbal contract enetered into upon marriage.

It is not always used as it is difficult to get a judge to agree to it, but all divorces' here have a final clause stating it will not be used against the other party once the divorce has been finalised.

I assume maybe incorrectlt thet Scottgems statement Alienation of Affection is the US equivalnt, but a marriage is a Verbal contract and you might be able to sue your ex.

All this is inmaterial, as Steve states, in divorce, only lawyers win.

Afternoon, I am from England, and over here, we still have a law on the books which covers the Engagment Act.

Basically states, that you can sue a person for failing the verbal contract enetered into upon marriage.

It is not always used as it is difficult to get a judge to agree to it, but all divorces' here have a final clause stating it will nto be used against the other party once teh divorce has been finalised.

I assume maybe incorrectlt thet Scottgems statement Alienation of Affection is the US equivalnt, but a marriage is a Verbal contract and you might be able to sue your ex.

All this is inmaterial, as Steve states, in divorce, only lawyers win.



OP is in NJ. There is NO alienation of affection action in NJ. "Alienation of Affection" is the legal term for the cause of action commonly known as "getting dumped". In New Jersey family law, this cause of action has been barred for decades, so getting monetary or other relief can be tricky when an engagement is broken off. Nevertheless, some theories of liability remain, highly dependent on the facts and circumstances. This is true as well in the other 42 states that have also banned similar causes of action. However, 7 jurisdictions still recognize this theory and can grant significant compensatory and punitive damages where appropriate. They are : North Carolina, Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota and Utah. February 14, 2005." New Jersey Family Law: General (http://njdivorceblog.typepad.com/new_jersey_divorce_law_me/general/)

All else aside I do not understand this and I see it posted all the time. The "other woman" owed OP nothing (aside from the sisterhood, blah, blah, blah). The HUSBAND is the one who made vows and promises and betrayed her.

Anyway, no alienation of affection in NJ.

I do not believe Scottgem said only the Attorneys win in these cases - but I'm sure Scott can speak for himself. If that is your feeling, the next time you have a legal problem, represent yourself and save money.

And for Phlanx - I thought the law was on the books in England but very seldom "used." Do you know?

Hello Judy

Thanks for the info - always intersted to see cultural differences

The act is very seldom used but is always mentioned when the divorce is finalised

Most people don't know it exists until the end of the divorce, if they did know before they can still apply the act of law to the case brought against their repsondant

And hey, no offence meant with lawyer remark, but it is true, money is made from the two people who can't sit down and talk to each other, so the only winners in a divorce is a lawyer :)

Hello Judy

Thanks for the info - always intersted to see cultural differences

The act is very seldom used but is always mentioned when the divorce is finalised

Most people dont know it exists until the end of the divorce, if they did know before they can still apply the act of law to the case brought against their repsondant

And hey, no offence meant with lawyer remark, but it is true, money is made from the two people who can't sit down and talk to each other, so the only winners in a divorce is a lawyer :)


I think the people who can't agree and get as much as they can (thanks to the Attorneys) win but, hey, I'm in the business.

Interesting that Attorneys don't bring the alienation of affection thing to the attention of clients - oh, wait, now I'm slamming Attorneys.

Hahaa, Everyone needs a champion in their corner, it is the loosers who then hate you - by product of being good at what you do

Ooh, that left a taste :)