My son is 4 year old. A year and a half ago I have to take him to stay with my mother (out of the country) since I was having financial difficulties. While he was with my mom he attented classes in kindergarten he was transferred at least twice cause the teachers can not managed him(he was only 3 y/o then). According to the teacher he was disruptive during the class and does not follow any directions and was talking to himself most of the time.He also hits and push other kids and they're afraid of him. My mother found a private teacher who taught my son ( one to one)and he did very well and the aggressiveness was less. By the ways, my son did not start talking until he was 2 1/2 y/o, and his needs was always anticipated that he really didn't know how to ask.
Now my son is back with me since last April 09. I enrolled him to daycare so he'll develop social skills. The first two weeks, he was hitting and pushing other kids and of course some issues in communicating since we're bilingual, but then it got better. I enrolled him to a public kindergarten where we live. The first two weeks was okey but then the teacher called us to school and spoke to us about my son not able to expressed himself and that he is hitting and pushing other kids. We even received a note from the teacher about my sons' behavior. Last Wednesday he had an accident and the school called us and my husband took him home(cause my husband felt bad for my son), then he had another accident today so I have to come to school and help him change but then he does not want to go back to his class he said he is afraid to his teacher. I felt that the teacher is impatient and does not show any compassion at all I feel so sorry for my son since he never had an accident unless he is being rushed. We're doing everything we can to help him improve, we even stop talking our second language at home so he can speak and understand more english but we feel helpless.

He's 4 and in kindergarten? Maybe he's just too young for that environment. I had to go to what my school called k-1. I'm not really sure how common or uncommon it is. I went to a private school for it, I don't even know if it's offered in public schools. I was incredibly shy when I was little. They said that it would help me catch up or something like that. Then after that I went onto k-2, which I guess is like regular kindergarten (I only remember so much from being 5 lol)

One of my little cousins just finished going to a Montessori preschool. The reason his mother chose it for him was because of how involved she could be in his schooling there. There were certain days that she actually went and stayed all day with him. Basically, the parents would switch off. One set of parents would come in with their children one day. Then another group of parents. So there were always a lot of parents around to help supervise. It wasn't all up to just one teacher.

He'll be turning 5 this Nov.09

OK. So maybe he's maturing at his own rate and still isn't ready? Have you looked into other types of schooling? Do the teachers think he's ready for school? Did they give you any advice on how to get him ready for school if they don't believe he is? Do you know why he's being aggressive? I'm not an expert, far from, but the other day in my psychology class we were actually talking about childhood aggression and how there have been studies that indicate it's a learned behavior. Can you think of somewhere he might be learning to be aggressive from? My little brother played way too many violent video games when he was little, and I really believe that's why he turned out to be so violent and aggressive. Is your son maybe watching violent TV? There's a lot that could be going on with him.

He had 1 fight with his cousin when he was staying with my mom and that started everything. When he's with me he seldom watch TV but use the computer but we're with him all of the time. I just wish that he could express himself more and not get frustrated and I'm ready for professional help if I need to.

Maybe professional help will end up being best. I don't see how it could hurt.

How else does he express himself? When he's with you, how does he express anger or frustration? Do you know what started the fights? Have you talked to him about it? If so, what was his response?

With me he will just yell no or freeze if he doesn't agree with me when I'm telling him to do something. The first time he came back from my mother he did throw a temper tantrums and kick me. I discipline him right away and he never did it again. He is a very sweet child and affectionate and he likes to be hug and kiss most of the time but I have to correct this since not a lot of people likes to be hug and kiss, so I explained to him that he can only do it especially the kiss part to me and my husband.

Thank you for your help and time, it does help a lot by just talking about it. Meanwhile I'll be researching more how I can help my son. I just hope that we can surpass this without that much impact for him.

I wish I could be more helpful. But I'm glad you at least feel better. :)