Hey. I'm just curious as to everyone's reasons as to why they want to lighten their skin. No one is here to judge!! Everyone has different reasons, one reason is not better than the other. Some people may be doing it because of social class and social standards (I know in a lot of Asian countries a lot of the social structure is dictated by skin color), some may be doing it for their own personal liking, some were teased, maybe you think it suits or facial features better, maybe you have a few skin discolorations, you were inspired by a celebrity, you're doing it for fashion, etc. What's your reason?

My reason: I'm of African descent. My father is very dark my mother is very fair. I came out dark. Like the skin complexion of the singer Kelly Rowland. I've never had a problem with my complexion all the way up until junior high school. I always thought I was really pretty. I loved my skin color. I ENJOYED getting darker. I was just so happy with myself. UNTIL. Junior High started. And I started getting teased and told I was too dark. And all of the guys would only be interested in the fairer skinned girls. I love dark brown skin. Still until this day. I LOVE it. I think it's beautiful. But what I think and what a lot of people in society think... Is totally different. So when I was around 15 I started rummaging through the contents in my mothers cabinet and I started bleaching my skin. I was really new to it and I didn't tell my mother what I was doing and so I used Movate in large quantities with NO MIXING and it really broke me out really bad and just made my skin a mess. But it did make it lighter. Lol. Of course I stopped using it. I started using a variety of other things that got my skin to the beautiful color that it is now. I know society may tell us that it is wrong to want to lighten our skin. But the question is. Would you rather be RIGHT and UNHAPPY? Or lighten your skin and be WRONG and HAPPY? Because right now, I'm sure many people would say I'm wrong for lightening my skin. But am I wrong for liking the fact that men find me to be very beautiful now that my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for placing higher in beauty pageants because my skin is fairer? Am I wrong for wanting to be happy? Am I wrong for wanting to obtain a husband? I can honestly say. The way I was treated when having dark skin, compared to my golden caramel complexion now. Is TOTALLY different. Why should I be shunned because I want to reap the benefits that a woman with lighter skin receives?

And please avoid childish comments like: "Well I'm already light, but I just want to be a shade lighter." Bottom line. You're still lightening your skin. And please don't bash the next persons reason. They have a right to do what they want! :)

This is an honest discussion. And I'm going to give an honest answer. You make a vary valid point about being Right and Unhappy or Wrong and Happy. I am not going to try to ignore the fact that Light skin is revered in the States and other parts of the world. This one of my reasons for bleaching, but the other is mostly beauty. Light skin is seen as attractive feature by today's social standards, and me being an artist and creative individual, I always try to strive towards what is considered beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder is the old axiom. However, 70% of those beholders will agree that lighter is better. You can't deny the facts. I think you should be able to whatever the heck you want with your image. It's YOUR IMAGE, not other people's so you shouldn't worry about their opinions or what "morally" and "ethically" right or wrong. If being light skin will make you HAPPY, then by all means GO FOR IT. In the animal kingdom animals adapt to endure harsh environmental conditions. I see that as very similar to when we individually lighten our skin. We are trying to adapt knowing very well how cruel the world can be. Would you try to swim AGAINST the tide or go with it? The choice is yours.

I'm currently lightening areas that have gotten darker from melasma and sun damage. I'm okay with my true color now.

However, for years, I tanned a lot because I thought it minimized my uneveness AND because I felt that I looked more exotic & attractive with darker skin.

Now that I'm older I just want everything healthy and even!:o

I hear you about social pressure and beauty standards. Somehow I internalized the darker=sexier idea so I damaged my skin in pursuit of it.

I think that, ideally, we should make ourselves attractive without harm.

I too used to get called demeaning names for being dark skinned, but I tried to brush them off as I got older. MY lighter friends always got more attention than me, but I never tried to lighten my skin because of it, although I secretly wished to be a bit lighter to get more attention as well. Now I am actually not aiming to be really fair skinned, as it would look too artificial on me, but I am lightening to become a lighter brown skin. My first reason for lightening was to even my skin tone overall, but now I feel that I feel I would look nice with a lighter brown color as well. I was plagued with acne on and off for years, so this has caused some discoloration on my face, but now I see that whatever products I use to even my face ultimately make my face look uneven with my body, so I am lightening my body first to follow suit with what my face will lighten to when I try to even my facial complexion again if that makes sense.

7th grade! Ughhh!
Three high yellow boys used to tease me, told me I shouldn't wear red because my skin was dark. Thing is two of them had girlfriends both of them darker than they were, only one or two shades darker, so it didn't make any since for them to say that to me.

I remember when I was younger one summer my mother yelled out the window "get out of the sun your getting too dark!!". How embarrassing:o, she said it right in front of the biracial girl (white and black) who lived next door to us and a white friend who was playing outside with me.

I was at the bank one time and over heard this man and women talking and he pointed to me and said to her "oh I almost said hi I thought she was your daughter". She looks over at me and said " that's not my daughter my daughter is lighter". He laughed and said "oh I'm not going to got there" and continued to laugh.

Two guys talking about girls, one said "I met this girl and she was fine". She was fine but she dark. I was like huh? Can't someone be dark and pretty?

I think it's just a combination of things through the years that made me want to start lightening. I mean when it comes to black folk somehow or someway growing up you will here some comment about someone being too black etc... Or you hear someone day "I"m not black I'm brown"

The first lightening product I ever bought was some kind of cream/makeup I think:confused: Not sure what it was. Small classified ad in the back of a magazine read "have white face". Lol It came in the mail, small green and red container with Indian writing on top of the lid.

It felt like creamy thick clay like foundation I guess. I remember putting it on my face and it was like I had put on makeup that didn't match my skin but I put it on anyway for a while. It didn't work. Now that I look back it was more like theater makeup, that probably would have made someone else look lighter, someone Asian or Indian.

BeGone Skin Toner
Nadolina Skin Bleach
Reviva Labs Brown Spot Night Cream
Janssen White Secrets
Mia Sasha Color Tone B
Hollywood Secret Products
African Queen Beauty
Isomers Skin Brightening Complex
Fair and White Lightening and Purifying Cream
Fair and Flawless
Diana Stalder Whitening Products
The Spa Basin
MegaBlast

I used a lot of creams!
In the end when I started to lighten I liked the way I looked.:) I just got over that other stuff. It's about me now and I want to look my best.

People can be so cruel Nikki, and I have got the same name calling, but I never knew about skin lightening so I just sucked it up and beared it and grinned, although it hurt inside. I guess you can say you're one step ahead of the haters now

I have hyperpigmentation, that is the MAIN reason I lighten. I also find lighter skin on certain people to be very appealing, and I think I am one of those people,

Im jealous of people lighter than me

I want to look good in more, brighter colors like they do :)

Reading everyone's story here makes me think this could be collaborated into a book or something. Well, for me when I was a young kid I was yellow/light brown. I was a tomboy and was always outside climbing trees, jumping gates, and into sports along with my brothers. So, I definitely got darker but I didn't really care. People would bring it too my attention, but I didn't know what to make of it. I think my first few reality calls was in 3rd-5th grade when the boys in the class would go gaga over the couple of light skinned girls w/ long wavy hair, especially if they had light eyes. But, it was confusing because I would look at the girls features and there's was not different than mine or they were actually unattractive with messed up teeth, one also had serous behaviour problems but the guys didn't care... I thought that was weird.

My older sister looks biracial, her skin tone is like Hale Berry's and her eyes are greenish/grey. Other than that are features are the same, my dad is light brown too and his dad looked biracial. So, this made me feel a bit confused and off and on wonder why did the gene skip me? People of practically any race treated her as though she was a beauty queen and as if I was her invisible shadow. I realized her perspective of life was completely different from mine due to our experiences, so yes I would say she definitely had it easy. Once I entered high school, I notice how when a friend of mine and I would walk down the hallway she would always get all of the attention because she was lightskin. I thought she was cute and I didn't get jealous of her, just really confused. Because I knew I was an attractive girl too with the better looking body. But, she was the lighter one, regardless if her teeth were big and she was flat. I later learned she only hung around me because I was darker than her and she would get the attention. I felt really insulted and hurt because I thought she was a true friend. But unfortunately, she wasn't the first nor the last. I liked having brown skin and remembered trying to decide which shade I liked best, the darker rich complexion of beautiful Naomi Campbell so I can tan. Or the lighter brown complexion of Tyra Banks, so some how I would have to lighten. I never could decide because I always considered all shades to be so beautiful and focused more on the features.

Now an adult, I had to go through not being hired even if I was more qualified, insulted of my complexion of not being light enough, and so on. At first I thought I was mistaken and it could not be the reason. But, when you're told insulting things to your face because of your color and 9 times out of 10 it comes from people of the same race. There was no reason for me to ignore the situation. My ex's family who were from the Bahamas treated me like pure sh!t and made it very known they hated me, that I was too dark, not good enough, and it only got worse. And it only worsened as time progressed. And I was only an 18 year old then. Interesting thing was that his mother was the shade of Alek Wek, a beautiful woman, and she was married into a mulatto family and her husband was biracial. So the girls came out about Beyonce's color but my ex was medium brown like me. But, then later down the road he became insulting about my hair being too curly and my skin being too dark and became very verbally abusive to me. This didn't improve the situation of my view of black men in the West any better, it only made it worse and it only made me resent them more.

I started to lighten in 06' first with the, I can't remember the name at the moment but it was a brown liquid and it smelled like cigarettes and did nothing after 2 months.
Edit: it was BodyBleach

In Ethiopia I tried a couple of sunblocks that said it will also lighten the skin, it did jack but made me look like I was wearing chalk on my face. In 08' I tried bio claire, diana stalder, and makari. All of them I read the successes from online lightening forums, including this one. This year was the makari and then the mediderm rx. So, my list is rather small and I'm not a product junkie, but maybe obsessed to find the perfect regimen that can lighten my whole body and easily maintain. I noticed that when I was much lighter I was treated 50 times better than before and people going out of their way for me and men telling me how beautiful I was because I was so light skinned. Honestly I thought to myself they were all fools, because I am the same only lighter and they were shallow. But, the much positive treatment I would prefer any day. Why should I have to suffer for the rest of my life? I rather be happy and treated better, the difference is no mistake. Would I suggest other people should lighten? Of course not, nor would I ridicule if one wants to lighten.

Many do not realize, but lightening your skin for beauty is no different than darkening your skin for beauty. It is your preference and to me quite easily understood.


... truly sorry for the long post.

I was a tomboy and was always outside climbing trees, jumping gates, and into sports along with my brothers. So, I definitely got darker but I didn't really care.

Now an adult, I had to go through not being hired even if I was more qualified, insulted of my complexion of not being light enough, and so on.

I started to lighten in 06' first with the, I can't remember the name at the moment but it was a brown liquid and it smelled like cigarettes and did nothing after 2 months.

This year was the makari and then the mediderm rx.

Many do not realize, but lightening your skin for beauty is no different than darkening your skin for beauty. It is your preference and to me quite easily understood.
.

Was that "BodyBleach"? That was one of the first I tried too it was nasty, almost as bad as Fair Flawless. It say iare extracts but seemed like hydroquinone thrown in lotion. Left a brown stain in my skin almost a whole year.

Anyway thanks for sharing. :)

People are so quick to judge and you can never know anyone's true motivation for doing something until you've lived just one day in their life. This is why I try not to judge people, even the ones who did call me demeaning names for being dark skinned, because you become a biproduct of the toxic society you live in unless you either choose to go against the grain or play the game.

... But, it was confusing because I would look at the girls features and there’s was not different than mine or they were actually unattractive with messed up teeth, one also had serous behaviour problems but the guys didn't care...I thought that was weird...
... I liked having brown skin and remembered trying to decide which shade I liked best, the darker rich complexion of beautiful Naomi Campbell so I can tan. Or the lighter brown complexion of Tyra Banks, so some how I would have to lighten. I never could decide because I always considered all shades to be so beautiful and focused more on more on the features...

..Honestly I thought to myself they were all fools, because I am the same only lighter and they were shallow. But, the much positive treatment I would prefer any day. Why should I have to suffer for the rest of my life? I rather be happy and treated better, the difference is no mistake. Would I suggest other people should lighten? Of course not, nor would I ridicule if one wants to lighten...

..Many do not realize, but lightening your skin for beauty is no different than darkening your skin for beauty. It is your preference and to me quite easily understood.


...truly sorry for the long post.

Wow, I really identify with what you've said here! Even though, I've never been full-on light-colored, I have noticed different treatment (depending on my color & hair styles).. mostly from other brown and black people. Esp. guys in the dating scene. That's a whole book unto itself.:D

Even some women seem to pick girlfriends by shade. I've spent most of my life in mixed circles & was always one of the darker people around... by accident or design lol.

I think if you can get the color you like (brightening or bronzing) without damaging yourself in the process it's cool. I also see beauty more in the structure and person's attitude.

Well, no matter what I do now, I'll be the darkest in my household.:p My husband's European and our oldest child gets close to my natural color in the summers. I'll have a twin for part of the year at least. LOL!

Innuendo- I totally agree with you on trying to strive toward being beautiful. I am just naturally such a competitive person. I have this urge to always have to be the best. NO MATTER WHAT. And if having darker skin automatically sets me back, then I am going to lighten my skin. I'm obsessed with beauty. :(

It's a New Day- I totally agree with you. Often times I considered just lightening my blemishes. But when I see how much lighter it makes me. I figure why stop?

Nikki- Wow. Girl I'm sorry that the people at the bank did that to you! That is soooo unbelievably RUDE! And such a hurtful thing to do to a young girl. And I couldn't imagine my mother saying something like that to me. Especially in front of a white girl and a bi racial girl. I would have been crushed! And boys are so stupid. So very stupid. They'll say stupid things. Especially the young ones.

Golden Boy- Can you just shut up. You say the most idiotic things and I wished you never joined this board. And you irritate the hell out of me. Out of all the things Golden Girl typed... All you could ask her is if she used the same brand of bleaching cream you did? Go reevaluate yourself.

Golden Girl- I relate with soooooo much of what you said! Sooooo much! It never really hit me until 7th grade that lighter skin was better. Because up until then I had gone to an all white school where I was like 1 of 5 black children in the school, and no one really cared about race. But let me tell you. I got to Junior High and all the lighter skinned girls were just seen as more attractive. Even if they didn't dress as well as me. They had jacked up teeth. Mediocre facial features. It just didn't matter. Because their skin was light they were put up on this pedestal. And I too was confused. Because I KNEW even at that age that I was pretty. My nose my lips my eyes everything went together so well. But no one seemed to notice, nor care. I could not IMAGINE having to live with an older sister who is lighter than me and who has lighter eyes. :( That would not be fun at at all to live in her shadow. I commend you for being strong though. And your boyfriend sounds like an . My ex was like that too. Do you know one time he actually asked me to stick out my hand so he could put his next to mine and compare whose hand was lighter? UGH. (We were the Same SHADE. Lol!) He even told me he would NEVER date a girl who is darker than him. Before we started dating he told me he only dates girls lighter than him. I wonder if that's why he doesn't want to be with me anymore... Well I'm lighter than him now by several shades. Ha!

Anyway. Love the input from you all!

Oh and I've noticed some girls will purposely hang out with girls darker than them just to get more attention. I had a dominican friend. She used to do that. Then she noticed I started getting more attention than her when I started perming my hair and lightening up and dressing nicer. She doesn't like to hang out with me anymore. Hm. I wonder why.

I have a severe overbite, and was teased mercilessly for it all throughout school- elementary, junior high, high school, I'm a sophomore in a major university now and people still make hurtful comments about it. I think the rest of my face is attractive enough, but I have almost no confidence.

I thought maybe, if I lighten, I'll be pretty in spite of that. I have noticed that light skinned women get treated much better, and I want some of that positive attention for myself.

I have a severe overbite, and was teased mercilessly for it all throughout school- elementary, junior high, high school, I'm a sophomore in a major university now and people still make hurtful comments about it. I think the rest of my face is attractive enough, but I have almost no confidence.

I thought maybe, if I lighten, I'll be pretty in spite of that. I have noticed that light skinned women get treated much better, and I want some of that positive attention for myself.


Is an overbite sort of like having buck teeth?

Sort of. Buck teeth is when only the two front teeth are larger/more prominent than the rest. An overbite is when the entire top half of your teeth stick out more. A little bit of an overbite (like a few millimeters)is normal- most people don't have their top and bottom teeth perfectly aligned. I just have a big one :(

Sort of. Buck teeth is when only the two front teeth are larger/more prominent than the rest. An overbite is when the entire top half of your teeth stick out more. A little bit of an overbite (like a few millimeters)is normal- most people don't have their top and bottom teeth perfectly aligned. I just have a big one :(

Awww that so sad you were picked on.
You can get braces or Invisalign to help with that.
But you know what some people are actually cute that way! Lol
Maybe you don't feel you look nice with it but keep your head up anyway.

I started wanting lighter skin when I was told that I was brown skinned. Prior to being told that I was always told I was the lightskinned girl, but I guess its all perception. Anyway, I know this will sound racist but I think lighter skin looks more clean and pure. I love how clear the skin looks when its very light brown, and plus I want to look racially ambiguous, because even at this shade, people think I am not black (biracial, still black though). So for me I would say its half racial, and half of it is because it looks pure and clean. Very dark skin looks dirty to me ( in know its sounds terrible) and they also look like they smell bad.
I hate that I believe this way

Vanilla! :O
I agree with the clean and pure though...

I started wanting lighter skin when i was told that i was brown skinned. Prior to being told that i was always told i was the lightskinned girl, but i guess its all perception. Anyway, I know this will sound racist but i think lighter skin looks more clean and pure. I love how clear the skin looks when its very light brown, and plus I want to look racially ambiguous, because even at this shade, people think i am not black (biracial, still black though). So for me i would say its half racial, and half of it is because it looks pure and clean. very dark skin looks dirty to me ( in know its sounds terrible) and they also look like they smell bad.
I hate that i believe this way

Would you be friends with someone with dark skin?

Thank you very much for the kind words, nikkicute :)

Vanillawannabe, I understand what you mean about the racially ambiguous part- I'm mixed with a little bit of everything, but I don't look like it. I would like it if people had to guess what race I was.

I started wanting lighter skin when i was told that i was brown skinned. Prior to being told that i was always told i was the lightskinned girl, but i guess its all perception. Anyway, I know this will sound racist but i think lighter skin looks more clean and pure. I love how clear the skin looks when its very light brown, and plus I want to look racially ambiguous, because even at this shade, people think i am not black (biracial, still black though). So for me i would say its half racial, and half of it is because it looks pure and clean. very dark skin looks dirty to me ( in know its sounds terrible) and they also look like they smell bad.
I hate that i believe this way

wow!:eek: @ darker=stinkier... I need a fainting smiley

http://bestsmileys.com/fainting/1.gif

Well, I'm not sure what to say.

I do think that sunburned or fading tans & patchiness can look dirty.

A clear radiant skin looks good to me at any color.

I started wanting lighter skin when i was told that i was brown skinned. Prior to being told that i was always told i was the lightskinned girl, but i guess its all perception. Anyway, I know this will sound racist but i think lighter skin looks more clean and pure. I love how clear the skin looks when its very light brown, and plus I want to look racially ambiguous, because even at this shade, people think i am not black (biracial, still black though). So for me i would say its half racial, and half of it is because it looks pure and clean. very dark skin looks dirty to me ( in know its sounds terrible) and they also look like they smell bad.
I hate that i believe this way

I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess it's your opinion at the end of the day but I'm dark skinned and I smell better than roses and do not look dirty even on my worst day, but to each his own

I've noticed no connection between melanin (or lack thereof) and body odor. In my experience there are great-smelling and peeyew people of all shades.

Thank you very much for the kind words, nikkicute :)

Vanillawannabe, I understand what you mean about the racially ambiguous part- I'm mixed with a little bit of everything, but I don't look like it. I would like it if people had to guess what race I was.

Actor Wentworth Miller (cute guy from the Mariah Carey videos)
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:KfisG4ZGDM4OaM:http://www.gala.fr/var/gal/storage/images/les_stars/leurs_bio/miller_wentworth/images/wentworth_miller/201337-1-fre-FR/wentworth_miller_reference.jpg

I would have never guessed this guy was mixed.
His dad is black/Jamaican.

Lol @ Vanilla. I'm not mad at you for thinking that way. I kind of think it's funny that someone could actually think that way and I feel sorry for you though. :/ I guess some of us are a bit more extreme than others. Did something happen to you in your childhood? This is sad.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I guess it's your opinion at the end of the day but I'm dark skinned and I smell better than roses and do not look dirty even on my worst day, but to each his own

Yeah Vanillawannabe did go a little over board with the dirty and smelly part.
My lightening has always been about me NEVER anybody else.

Even if I saw a darkskinned person I would never think "oh they could use to go a couple of shades cause they're dark", it's not about how someone else looks it's about how I want to look.

That's why I asked Vanillawannabe would she/he even be friends with a darkskinned person?

I've seen some darkskinned guys you can eat off! Hair,shoes, clothes, looking sharp from head to toe! And smell gooooood!

My reasons for lightening are pretty superficial. LOL!
I have no deep seeded reasons to the point where I would look down on others who are darker than I am.

Actor Wentworth Miller (cute guy from the Mariah Carey videos)
http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:KfisG4ZGDM4OaM:http://www.gala.fr/var/gal/storage/images/les_stars/leurs_bio/miller_wentworth/images/wentworth_miller/201337-1-fre-FR/wentworth_miller_reference.jpg

I would have never guessed this guy was mixed.
His dad is black/Jamaican.

LOL! A lot of people are surprised about W.M. I can't say that I was but I kind of have 'the eye'.:cool:

I'm not 100 percent at guessing but I can almost always tell when someone (dark, medium or light skinned) is multirace-mixed.

Was that "BodyBleach"? That was one of the first I tried too it was nasty, almost as bad as Fair Flawless. It say iare extracts but seemed like hydroquinone thrown in lotion. Left a brown stain in my skin almost a whole year.

Anyways thanks for sharing. :)

Oh yes! It was the rare extract crap BodyBleach. That mess did nothing. It looked and smelled awful and all it did was make my skin burn, no lightening.

Oh yes! It was the rare extract crap BodyBleach. That mess did nothing. It looked and smelled awful and all it did was make my skin burn, no lightening.

Yeah.

Just thinking of it I can "smell" that nasty old cigarette ash/butts odor it had to it. And the brown color with rancid texture. :rolleyes:

Yeah.

Just thinking of it I can "smell" that nasty old cigarette ash/butts odor it had to it. And the brown color with rancid texture. :rolleyes:

That's what I always heard it smelled like cigarettes.
What was wrong with your Fair and Flawless product?

Yeah Vanillawannabe did go a little over board with the dirty and smelly part.
My lightening has always been about me NEVER anybody else.

Even if I saw a darkskinned person I would never think "oh they could use to go a couple of shades cause they're dark", it's not about how someone else looks it's about how I want to look.

That's why I asked Vanillawannabe would she/he even be friends with a darkskinned person?

I've seen some darkskinned guys you can eat off of!! Hair,shoes, clothes, looking sharp from head to toe!! And smell gooooood!!

My reasons for lightening are pretty superficial. LOL!!
I have no deep seeded reasons to the point where I would look down on others who are darker than I am.

I agree, darkskin doesn't mean stinky. I have met people from different races and shades that did not smell lovely at all. You may should surround yourself around darker people Vanilla to get truly realize that isn't true.

I would never consider that someone should lighten their skin either, it is a personal choice for me. It's messed up how some people are treated. Nikki have you ever addressed your mom with how it made you feel of what she had said to you, especially around others?

I agree. Darkskin doesn't mean stinky. I have met people from different races and shades that did not smell lovely at all. You may should surround yourself around darker people Vanilla to get truly realize that isn't true.
I would never consider that someone should lighten their skin either, it is a personal choice for me. It's messed up how some people are treated. Nikki have you ever addressed your mom with how it made you feel of what she had said to you, especially around others?

You picked up on that too huh? When Vanilla post they look like they smell the post was as if "they" are over there and Vanilla is over here like he/she does not associate with "them". Vanilla is biracial, I wonder what he/she thinks of her black relatives, the darker ones?

No, I never addressed my mom on that, happened when I was little. It's nothing I think about, just one those things that I remember.

That is a good point. Vanilla how did you feel about your other parent who is darker? Do you think they smell stinky?

The actor Wentworth Miller I thought was spanish or something like that, but then again mixed people can look a variety of different ways. He really is a cutie

Lmao. In Vanilla's defense. I did say anyone can be honest about how they feel. Let's all not throw stones at her. We all have warped views about skin color. Some more extreme then others... Clearly. LoL.

LOL!! I think we all scared Vanillawannabe away.
She made that "dirty" comment and has not posted since.
Oh well...

Lol... sorry, I was just quite curious and wanted to know more of why the stinky. Vanilla we want you to still post, don't want to scare you away.

Yay! I'm so happy. Things that I love about being lighter skinned:

1. Men stop and stare at me and assume I'm beautiful even when I'm at a distance and they can't see my facial features clearly.

2. Everyone assumes my hair is really this long even though I have extensions. They just assume since I'm light that it's my real hair.

3. I don't feel inferior when I'm around women lighter than me. Even when I know their features do NOT compare to mine.

4. Guys aren't afraid to date me because they think their kids won't turn out dark... Even though my genes are still the same. But it's our secret right? Hahahaha

5. Certain colors really make my skin pop.

6. I love being able to wear this pinkish honey blush that otherwise would look horrible on me.

7. Other women envy me instead of me envying them.

8. I place higher in beauty pageants now.

9. I'm happy.

10. People don't assume I have an attitude problem because of having dark skin. I'm a shy girl and since I'm quiet, people used to think that I had an attitude. Now people just think I'm bashful.

11. I can laugh at all of the idiotic men who I know wouldn't give me the time of day if they had known me when I used to live in Seattle and I was dark skinned. But they all go crazy over my caramel skin and "my" long curly hair Ahhhh the beauty of college. No one knows who you used to be. :)

Yay! I'm so happy. Things that I love about being lighter skinned:

1. Men stop and stare at me and assume I'm beautiful even when I'm at a distance and they can't see my facial features clearly.

2. Everyone assumes my hair is really this long even though I have extensions. They just assume since I'm light that it's my real hair.

3. I don't feel inferior when I'm around women lighter than me. Even when I know their features do NOT compare to mine.

4. Guys aren't afraid to date me because they think their kids won't turn out dark.... Even though my genes are still the same. But it's our secret right? Hahahaha

5. Certain colors really make my skin pop.

6. I love being able to wear this pinkish honey blush that otherwise would look horrible on me.

7. Other women envy me instead of me envying them.

8. I place higher in beauty pageants now.

9. I'm happy.

10. People don't assume I have an attitude problem because of having dark skin. I'm a shy girl and since I'm quiet, people used to think that I had an attitude. Now people just think I'm bashful.

11. I can laugh at all of the idiotic men who I know wouldn't give me the time of day if they had known me when I used to live in Seattle and I was dark skinned. But they all go crazy over my caramel skin and "my" long curly hair Ahhhh the beauty of college. No one knows who you used to be. :)


BrownDeceit, and a few other users, just how are you all able to get so LIGHT?

I am Gabrielle Unions complexion, a bit darker, and the lightest I can get from bleaching is around Meagan Goode's color or a little dakrer.

Of all the creams I've used, and the ones that have worked, I've never gotten remotely close to being lightskin. Once I was described as "carmel", when I used the Fair and White Whitenizer.

Although, I've never been lightskin, I've experienced some of the same things you have as a brownskin woman (men stopping and staring at me, thinking I'm beautiful) Once, I was in the parking lot and a whole group of men came running out to see me, and I was NOT lightskin. So this type of stuff is not just exclusive to lightskin women. There are a lot of men who find brown and carmel women very visually appealing

As for the hair thing, people ALWAYS think my hair is fake. I am dark brown right now, and I have to answer to other black women. They are constantly asking me if my hair is real, and its very very annoying.

If you read number 11 I said I'm caramel right now. And I could go lighter but caramel is soooo prettY!! I still consider caramel to be light skinned. Lol considering the color I've come from. Sure men will find a brownskin girl pretty. But she has to be EXCEPTIONALLY pretty. It's unfair. And I don't know. People always think I'm mixed. Like not EVERYBODY. But more than FOUR times I was around black girls and I was talking about my hair. And I outted myself when I called it a weave. They would turn around and be like "what? I thought you were mixed" and I'd feel so stupid for letting my secret out. :/ I think it's because of my facial features. Do you have typical black girl facial features? Especially the nose? Because then the hair being yours is less believable. I may not have gotten the skin color of my mothers side of my family. But I got the arabic facial features.

Although, I've never been lightskin, I've experienced some of the same things you have as a brownskin woman (men stopping and staring at me, thinking I'm beautiful) Once, I was in the parking lot and a whole group of men came running out to see me, and I was NOT lightskin. So this type of stuff is not just exclusive to lightskin women. There are a lot of men who find brown and carmel women very visually appealing


EXACTLY!!
And if your brownskin and men find you attractive you don't have to be exceptionally pretty:rolleyes: give me a break!
Is it so hard to believe that some men like it brown?
I think I'll give men (black men) a little more credit than that!
Let's not forget beauty comes in all colors.

EXACTLY!!!
And if your brownskin and men find you attractive you don't have to be exceptionally pretty:rolleyes: give me a break!!
Is it so hard to believe that some men like it brown?
I think I'll give men (black men) a little more credit than that!!
Let's not forget beauty comes in all colors.

Let's not kid ourselves. An average looking light skin girl and an average looking brown skin girl standing next to each other. Who will get picked first? The light girl. Not because she looks better. But just because she's light.

Let's not kid ourselves. An average looking light skin girl and an average looking brown skin girl standing next to each other. Who will get picked first? The light girl. Not because she looks better. But just because she's light.

Ive been lurking in this thread for a while and I MUST speak... Im a pretty brown skinned girl.. Not sure who made the comment about not having super african american feautures but Im like that. I have a small nose and its perfectly porpotioned to my face and mouth. I don't have big lips. My mother has a pointy nose and her mother as well. Anyway Im in college now and I have a friend who is very light complected (probably about Alicia Keys complexion) and she is NOT pretty in my opinion. She has the biggest nose I have EVER seen and it is not proportioned to her face at all.. She has NO lips... short, thin hair.. and she's super skinny.no style.. Im not trying to diss my friend but it is what it is and these are facts. Im ab Gabrielle Unions complexion (especially in the winter) and I dress GREAT, My hair is long and thick, My body is like Alicia Keys, I have hips but not too much.. and dudes STAY checking for her... Ive seen situations like these all before but this is just ridiculous... shes just NOT cute. Her attitude is for the birds also. And when I read the above comment I had to speak! Don't get me wrong,guys try to talk to me also! But the guys that try to talk to her are GORGEOUS. Im talking 6,1 lightskinned/darkskinned/brownskinned, it doesn't matter, they ALL want her and Im beyond baffled at it at this point... Id take a FINE darkskinned guy over a UGLY lightskinned guy in a minute!

EXACTLY. I really don't know what it is about skin color that drives some of these men crazy. But I'm telling you. You could put Naomi Campbell next to some ugly light skinned girl from the streets. And they'd take that light skin girl. Lmao.

So so tru! And it makes NO sense! Have you ever seen TI's babymama Tiny? She looks JUST like miss piggy and TI was initially attracted to her because she is mixed... Jesus take the wheel..

True true and more true. Needless to say there are so many BEAUTIFUL, above average brown and dark skinned girls that some average light skinned girls couldn't even compete with as far as true beauty, but I have found that a lot of men simply think lighter is better. I had two light skinned friends, both the same shade of yellow, and I would be the only dark skinned girl in the group. They were so jealous of me (and they would tell me) because I had a bangin body (boobs, hips, butt, the works), but the guys ALMOST ALWAYS looked at them first, and they were average in my opinion. There are pretty light skinned girls and there are average light skinned girls, but to guys it simply doesn't matter it seems. And to give credit to my black men yes there are men who simply do not care if a girl is light or dark, but based on PERSONAL experience, and PERSONAL observation, men like light skinned girls a heck of a lot more it seems.

LMFAAAAAOOO. YES YES YES YES! Like can you really compare people like Tiny to women like Chili from TLC or Tatyan Ali from fresh prince? Oh my goodness. It drives me MAD. And honest to God. I have no problem with dark brown skin. I THINK IT'S GORGEOUS. Especially on women with exotic features. But these stupid men. Like light skin. And I don't know why I let them get in my head. So I've bleached my skin. And now they like me more? I LOOK THE SAME!! But with lighter skin. But now everywhere I go. It's "oh she bad" "she a dime" "she sexy yo" and I see guys tap there friends to turn around and look at the fine girl walking by. When I KNOW if I hadn't bleached my skin, I wouldn't get half as much attention. It just boggles my MIND. It honestly does. Sometimes I'll be with my friend who is in my opinion really pretty. She's equally pretty to me. Maybe some may say she's prettier. But who gets more attention. ALL the time? I do. Why? Because I'm lighter. And I think it's such bull. And I feel like I've had the chance to live life twice. Through two different lenses. I make sure that when I'm around women darker than me, that I DON'T act like I'm the ish . Just because my skin is lighter. It's all because of slavery and social standards and conditions. If black people were the slave masters and white people were the slaves. Everyone would want to look like us. I think I'm different from many people on this forum because I really don't find beauty in light skin. I just do it because the rest of society does. And I love getting the good treatment that people with lighter skin get. I gravitate more toward a warm golden shade. I think it's pretty. Not because it's lighter than a brown shade. But because it's glowy. But I also find beauty in darker shades. But the lighter the better it seems in this society!

LMFAAAAAOOO. YES YES YES YES! Like can you really compare people like Tiny to women like Chilli from TLC or Tatyan Ali from fresh prince? Oh my goodness. It drives me MAD. And honest to God. I have no problem with dark brown skin. I THINK IT'S GORGEOUS. especially on women with exotic features. but these stupid men. like light skin. and I dunno why I let them get in my head. so I've bleached my skin. and now they like me more? I LOOK THE SAME!!!! but with lighter skin. But now everywhere I go. it's "oh she bad" "she a dime" "she sexy yo" and I see guys tap there friends to turn around and look at the fine girl walking by. when I KNOW if I hadn't bleached my skin, I wouldn't get half as much attention. It just boggles my MIND. It honestly does. Sometimes I'll be with my friend who is in my opinion really pretty. She's equally pretty to me. maybe some may say she's prettier. but who gets more attention. ALL the time? I do. Why? Because I'm lighter. And I think it's such bull. And I feel like I've had the chance to live life twice. Through two different lenses. I make sure that when I'm around women darker than me, that I DON'T act like I'm the . Just because my skin is lighter. It's all because of slavery and social standards and conditions. If black people were the slave masters and white people were the slaves. Everyone would want to look like us. I think I'm different from many people on this forum because I really don't find beauty in light skin. I just do it because the rest of society does. And I love getting the good treatment that people with lighter skin get.





I was saying in another thread that some people mope all day about something that they're unhappy with, and some people actually do something about it. Whether it is essentially right or wrong, we live in a society where at the end of the day we put ourselves first and unfortunately we also live with mentally dwarfed people.

BrownDeceit me and you are one in the same! I swear when u speak, I feel like uve been swimming around in my head for thoughts! I think that dark skin is GORGEOUS, and I lobby for it whenever I hear someone diss it or say something derrogatory towards it. But Im bleaching for myself also. I do it, because of how much better I feel when I look into the mirror and see how certain colors pop against my skin. At one point I was a light brown, like almost caramel as yourself, but I started slacking on the skin after a family loss... But Im back now and ready to start back up.. Im now an even brown skinned tone, but Id like to get back to my light brown tone.. when I was light brown.. GIRL!! The attention! Girl, men left and right! This guy mixed with black and mexican was ON me... wanted to date me! He was gorg! But that's neither here nor there.. What Im tryna say is I get you girl... eye to eye!

YES YES YES YES. I go offffff on men that diss dark skinned women. Because even though I'm not dark anymore. In my head sometimes I still feel like a dark skinned woman. It's hard to explain. I don't know. It's like I still kind of carry that burden or insecurity around. So whenever someone says something negative about it. I quickly jump to the defense. And I always talk about how beautiful certain dark skinned celebrity women are. And yessss I remember once I had started slacking. Got home on holiday break and realize how much darker I had gotten. AH! But now girl. Ugh the attention. I love it love it love it love it love it. Just today I walked by the whole basketball team on my campus and they all were just eyeing me like I was God's gift to men. And yesssss. I love it because now we attract men of other races. It's CRAZY how many different races try to talk to me now. I just LOVE the attention. And it's POSITIVE attention. And I no longer feel like I have to show off my body to get attention. I can dress classy and elegant. And they like me. They look at my FACE. And they LOVE it. It feels SO GOOD.

YES YES YES YES. I go offffff on men that diss dark skinned women. Because even though I'm not dark anymore. In my head sometimes I still feel like a dark skinned woman. It's hard to explain. I dunno. It's like I still kind of carry that burden or insecurity around. So whenever someone says something negative about it. I quickly jump to the defense. And I always talk about how beautiful certain dark skinned celebrity women are. And yessss I remember once I had started slacking. Got home on holiday break and realize how much darker I had gotten. AH! but now girl. Ugh the attention. I love it love it love it love it love it. Just today I walked by the whole basketball team on my campus and they all were just eyeing me like I was God's gift to men. And yesssss. I love it because now we attract men of other races. It's CRAZY how many different races try to talk to me now. I just LOVE the attention. and it's POSITIVE attention. And I no longer feel like I have to show off my body to get attention. I can dress classy and elegant. And they like me. They look at my FACE. and they LOVE it. It feels SO GOOD.

HAHA I know how you feel, except I'm a guy. Yeah when I lighnted I got a lot of attention family, and people saying wow you look a lot cutier. And I also have hat Dark Skinned mindset to, when someone disses dark skns whoooooooooo I throw a fit. Even though they say you isn't even dark why do you care. Ahh it feels so good inside.

HAHA I know how you feel, except I'm a guy. Yeah when I lighnted I got a lot of attention family, and people saying wow you look a lot cutier. And I also have hat Dark Skinned mindset to, when someone disses dark skns whoooooooooo I throw a fit. Even though they say you aint even dark why do you care. Ahh it feels so good inside.

Klaas I didn't know you were a guy! I didn't know you or Fairr were guys! I don't know, it just didn't cross my mind. But, it's good to see some guys here, it makes it more diverse instead of just us ladies... lol

I understand where you guys are coming from exactly. When people go out of their way just to look at you and talk to you just because of the lighter complexion. The difference is very clear, and I prefer it far more than being overlooked. But, when some people try to diss others for having darker complexions I think it's sick and feel the need to stand up. Mainly because we know it isn't right and we have a broader outlook of society. I think the men who have this warped way of thinking "lighter is better" mentallity are the dumbest and shallowest and all I can do is have the last laugh.

Looks is always a mindset, one can discover that dark is wonderful if they get rid of that silly concept that they should be "light" and not learn that they could have been beautiful just the way they were.

Just as some people like a partner that is heavy, or older some prefer light and some prefer dark. So while friends and family ( often because they are nice) say good things because they see the change, to a unknowing public, you may have been just as good looking dark. At least in America, the TV and media have created a unreal idea of beauty that is mostly in the minds of those that don't fit a light size 4.

And all it really takes is learning we all have great features just the way we are

Let's not kid ourselves. An average looking light skin girl and an average looking brown skin girl standing next to each other. Who will get picked first? The light girl. Not because she looks better. But just because she's light.


I have to laugh at such , sorry, but pure bull. This is a concept sold by the media. There are so many guys out there that prefer the darker, and we are trying to change ourself, to make someone else happy?

Are you a woman? Are you a black woman? Are you even black? Have you physically been in our shoes? No you haven't. Because if you have, you wouldn't make such outrageous comments.

Are you a woman? Are you a black woman? Are you even black? Have you physically been in our shoes? No you haven't. Because if you have, you wouldn't make such outrageous comments.

I know I'm not very liked in this forum but I do have to agree with Chuck...

Now this comment is not going to be taken well and may even get deleted but surely saying that darker skinned people are not as pretty is being racist?

"Woah" I hear you say... she just called me WHAT?

But if you truly believe that someone who has darker skin is not as pretty or is not going to get treated as well then isn't that what defines that term?

I am not the skinniest girl in the world but my partner loves that... he cannot stand stick thin girls... now some guys like the skinny girls and do not like heavier ones... thos guys are SUPERFICIAL...

That goes for lighter girls as well... if you are not getting asked out by guys because you are not "light enough" then you are not finding very good guys...
A caring, decent man will like you for who you are, not the color of your skin. If you think you are not pretty then no-one else will think you are either.

If you read number 11 I said I'm caramel right now. And I could go lighter but caramel is soooo prettY!!!!!! I still consider caramel to be light skinned. Lol considering the color I've come from. sure men will find a brownskin girl pretty. but she has to be EXCEPTIONALLY pretty. it's unfair. and I dunno. people always think I'm mixed. like not EVERYBODY. but more than FOUR times I was around black girls and I was talking about my hair. And I outted myself when I called it a weave. they would turn around and be like "what? I thought you were mixed" and I'd feel so stupid for letting my secret out. :/ I think it's because of my facial features. Do you have typical black girl facial features? Especially the nose? Because then the hair being yours is less believable. I may not have gotten the skin color of my mothers side of my family. But I got the arabic facial features.

I don't have a pointy nose but I don't see what it has to do with my hair being less believeable especially since you can see it growing out of my scalp. Look at Rudy Huxtable from the Cosby Show. She was very dark with a lot of hair. I am very sensitive about my hair and get mad that people assume it's a weave all the time.

What are typical black girl features? I find what you say to be so offensive especially to me. And maybe I am exceptionally pretty. Once a man told me I was the most beautiful woman he ever saw. Take that and I'm brown

I know I'm not very liked in this forum but I do have to agree with Chuck...

Now this comment is not going to be taken well and may even get deleted but surely saying that darker skinned people are not as pretty is being racist?

"Woah" I hear you say... she just called me WHAT?

But if you truly believe that someone who has darker skin is not as pretty or is not going to get treated as well then isn't that what defines that term?

I am not the skinniest girl in the world but my partner loves that... he cannot stand stick thin girls... now some guys like the skinny girls and do not like heavier ones... thos guys are SUPERFICIAL...

That goes for lighter girls as well... if you are not getting asked out by guys because you are not "light enough" then you are not finding very good guys...
A caring, decent man will like you for who you are, not the color of your skin. If you think you are not pretty then no-one else will think you are either.

Why are people who aren't even black trying to weigh in on this topic. It's so annoying. Can you please read what we are saying? Do you even know who Chili, Tiny, and Tatyana Ali are? We are are saying that dark skinned women ARE pretty but do not get as much praise as light skinned women because they are DARK. I'm so irritated. You don't even know what we're talking about or our perspectives.

Why are people who aren't even black trying to weigh in on this topic. It's so annoying. Can you please read what we are saying? Do you even know who Chilli, Tiny, and Tatyana Ali are? We are are saying that dark skinned women ARE pretty but do not get as much praise as light skinned women because they are DARK. I'm so irritated. You don't even know what we're talking about or our perspectives.

I don't want this to turn nasty, I just want a general discussion... however you cannot dictate who answers questions.
Why does it matter if I have dark skin or not?
What if I said that I think darker people look more attractive, does that make me wrong? What, because I am white?

How do they not get as much praise please?
And no I have never heard of those people which make me think that they do not get as much praise as you are making out. I think you are relying too much on what the media think... and do you honestly think photos of those girls you admire are not covered with airbrushing?

Here is an example, OK so it's not the best quality but this literally took me about 30 seconds to do.

Brown Deceit,

I think it's regional. In some places, black men care about skin color more than others. Colorism is everywehre but its worse depending on where you live. For instance, I hear its pretty bad down south, and in places like LA.(are you from down south, I hear a lot of darkskin wo men complaining on YouTube about how hard it is in the southern regions) But if you go to New York, skin color doesn't matter that much (that's what some of the black women I've chatted with online said)


I do know that a brown or darkskin women can get noticed if they have a really really nice body like a big booty. Then skin color becomes a bit irrelavant. I am a dark brown woman who has a small waist and big booty, so when I get down about my color, I thank god that I can fall back on my nice frame.

DarkSkinGirl. You're so right I think it is more extreme in other reasons as opposed to others. When I was in the midwest it seemed like you couldn't get any attention unless you were white or mixed. But now that I am in New York I would say that sometimes it doesn't matter. But you still have some men that just refuse to be with a dark skinned woman! And honestly. I don't like being looked at for just my frame. I'd rather people look at my face and see that I'm beautiful. It makes me feel better than if they just like me because I have a big chest. (I'm just going to ignore these random people that have decided to pollute our board with their drama. I don't come on here to argue. They don't know our lives or our positions)

DarkSkinGirl. You're so right I think it is more extreme in other reasons as opposed to others. When I was in the midwest it seemed like you couldn't get any attention unless you were white or mixed. but now that I am in new york I would say that sometimes it doesnt matter. but you still have some men that just refuse to be with a dark skinned woman! and honestly. I don't like being looked at for just my frame. I'd rather people look at my face and see that I'm beautiful. It makes me feel better than if they just like me because I have a big chest. (I'm just going to ignore these random people that have decided to pollute our board with their drama. I don't come on here to argue. they don't know our lives or our positions)

Exactly, why settle for a guy who is so superficial that your skin has to be a certain color before he will think you are pretty?

And also, since when is this YOUR board?
I do not think anyone in the skin lightening forum created askmehelpdesk.

Do it to love yourself more.

Not for anyone to love you!

I just LOVE the attention. and it's POSITIVE attention. And I no longer feel like I have to show off my body to get attention. I can dress classy and elegant. And they like me. They look at my FACE. and they LOVE it. It feels SO GOOD.

I'm a women.
I'm a black women.
And I agree with everything he said!
There are guys out there who like brown women.
I think your just kidding yourself.
Why is that so hard for you to believe?

It seems like you have done this for attention and that's sad.
What's the matter? You couldn't dress classy and elegant when you were darker? You had to show off your body to get attention? Why:confused:

I have to 110% agree with BrownDeceit. She isn't saying that dark is not beautiful. It is very beautiful. But to not 100% understand is like telling a person who is mistreated to just deal with it. I understand completely where she is coming from. And if you are not a borwn or dark skin female, then it is impossible for you to understand as you have not walked in their shoes. Until you walk in their's and my shoes, then feel free to judgementally express your opinion.

Why can't causcasian people embrace themselves without sitting out in the sun and increase chances of getting skin cancer or by bronzers or other artificial ways to darken their skin. Which do you prefer?

This?http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1439/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1439R-1082707.jpg
Or this?http://ferenc.biz/pictures/fiji-swimsuit-model-sarah-gerber.jpg


Yes, my point exactly. Of course the second, if not darker... except you still do not have to experience years of injustice as many of us who have. Not only black woman, but asian, indian, mexican, etc.

Thank you

[QUOTE=Golden_Girl;2030357]I have to 110% agree with BrownDeceit. She isn't saying that dark is not beautiful. It is very beautiful. But to not 100% understand is like telling a person who is mistreated to just deal with it. I understand completely where she is coming from. And if you are not a borwn or dark skin female, then it is impossible for you to understand as you have not walked in their shoes. Until you walk in their's and my shoes, then feel free to judgementally express your opinion.

Why can't causcasian people embrace themselves without sitting out in the sun and increase chances of getting skin cancer or by bronzers or other artificial ways to darken their skin. Which do you prefer?

This?http://wwwdelivery.superstock.com/WI/223/1439/PreviewComp/SuperStock_1439R-1082707.jpg
Or this?http://ferenc.biz/pictures/fiji-swimsuit-model-sarah-gerber.jpg


Yes, my point exactly. Of course the second, if not darker... except you still do not have to experience years of injustice as many of us who have. Not only black woman, but asian, indian, mexican, etc.

I agree with you BUT the difference is that white people tan and get darker not for other people to accept them, they do it for themselves, it seems that minorities bleach or lighten to be accepted. Remember that the western world or "white" as some would say are the ones who have created the standard that other races try to live by. So in a way it's more OK for them to do this they are not tanning to look Black or step out of their race, white people are very secure with who they are in general.

I'd rather be dark than be GINGER anyday!


(no offense to any gingers on here... but if you were ginger I don't know why you would be lightening your skin even more... the next step is albino)

Oh wow, lol! I love 'gingers'.. if I had to be a white person I'd be a vivid redhead with a few freckles.

It's an exciting color scheme for humans.. the birds and fish got the best bright colors, imo.

At the end of the day BrownDeceit and everyone else on this lightening board has their own motivation for lightening. If she lightens for social acceptance then that is her business and maybe one day she will not care what anyone thinks of her, but that is her motivation right now. Each of us has our own insecurities so let's not be so quick to prey on anyone's insecurities. My only advice BrownDeceit is that physical attraction is the 1st thing everyone sees no doubt, but make sure you find a man that doesn't love you solely because you are light, because remember that these lightening creams are only temporary fixes and our true color sometimes comes back and tells on us, and hopefully a man will not leave you because you got darker.

Your second picture did not work so there is nothing to compare to.


yes, my point exactly. Of course the second, if not darker... except you still do not have to experience years of injustice as many of us who have. Not only black woman, but asian, indian, mexican, etc.

I agree with you BUT the difference is that white people tan and get darker not for other people to accept them, they do it for themselves, it seems that minorities bleach or lighten to be accepted. Remember that the western world or "white" as some would say are the ones who have created the standard that other races try to live by. So in a way it's more OK for them to do this they are not tanning to look Black or step out of their race, white people are very secure with who they are in general.



And who says I have not experienced 'years of injustice' because I am pale?
It goes both ways, you also do not know my race, simply that I am "white"

People who use products to tan their skin are in my opinion fakes... they do it purely for aesthetic reason an honestly every person I have met who tans their skin is a complete bimbo.
I personally do not like skin cancer or looking orange.

I agree with your comments Itss a new day, I do hope she (or anyone) is not just looking for a man who noticed their skin color first and their personality second.

And yes lightening creams are only temporary, you are going to have to do it every single day your entire life if you want to be "happy"
Nothing is worth that much pain and frustration to look "good"

I think the first girl looks very pretty, but I also think the second one is pretty as well... that is just based on looks... if they are absolutely obsessed with their skin I wouldn't want to know them.

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/8498487/2/istockphoto_8498487-beauty-head-shot-of-pale-blond-model-with-curly-hair.jpg http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa261/rockthetrend/AlekWekELLE.jpg

Beauty is only skin deep, as the saying goes.

Beauty is only skin deep, as the saying goes.

I'm going to temporarily morph into superficial b*tch mode, okay? Is everybody ready?

GO!

Only ugly people say beauty is skin deep, or people who are already beautiful and want to piss the rest of us off Because they have no choice but to be happy with what they've been given. It's like saying don't wear makeup, why look "ok" when you can look great? I don't bleach my skin to make me happy, I do it for actual hyperpigmentation reasons... and if I get ligher in the process great, a warm caramel complexion is just fine by me. It's easy for you to say that about skin bleaching, you're ALREADY pale. same with Tyra Banks when she did her show... easy for her to say not to lighten, she already is light! I also got my breasts done, everybody who already had large boobs told me not to and everybody who was small breasted and couldn't afford a breast augmentation told me not to because they were forced to be happy with what they had and assumed I should be as well. True, you can be as light as you want and still be miserable and a bad person but I don't really think any of us have that problem on this board, and if there is then they need more help then a jar of hydroquinone can provide. I think laying in a tanning bed is silly and I would never do it... But that's because I have more than enough color, but I can understand why other people do it, society dictates that tans are desirable. Society is stupid too, but it's the world we live in, and in a perfect world we would all be happy with ourselves, but that's just a fantasy. And besides, it's cheaper for me to bleach my skin then it is for my to get a therapist and work through myself image issues and be 100000% happy with myself, I don't think there's enough money or therapy in this world for that, there will always be something I'm not too keen on, which doesnt mean I lead a life that is any less happy, whether its a my skin, my weight, whatever! by the way, I'm not attacking you in any way so don't feel as if I am, I promise I'm not, this statement is more general than directed at you per se.

*morphs back*

Okay, glad that superficial rant is over... moving on:D

Only ugly people say beauty is skin deep.

Wow, thanks, I never called you or anyone on this thread ugly...


It's like saying don't wear makeup, why look "ok" when you can look great?
I rarely wear make-up... why should I smear crap all over my face for OTHER people... I don't give a crap what other people think about me.


It's easy for you to say that about skin bleaching, you're ALREADY pale.

Did you not read the comparison of lightening vs tanning?


true, you can be as light as you want and still be miserable and a bad person but I don't really think any of us have that problem on this board,

Actually, all I find on this board is b*tchiness, whinging, moaning and low self esteem... no to mention blatant racism towards anyone with white skin. (ie: being told to get off THEIR/YOUR board because of my skin color... if it was the other way around it would be world war 3)


if there is then they need more help then a jar of hydroquinone can provide.

Be careful! I have said pretty much the same thing before and got completely blasted and abused for it... double standards much?


by the way, I'm not attacking you in any way so don't feel as if I am, I promise I'm not.

I read this last so.. by the way, my post above is not attacking you either

Wow, thanks, I never called you or anyone on this thread ugly...


I rarely wear make-up... why should I smear crap all over my face for OTHER people... I don't give a crap what other people think about me.



Did you not read the comparison of lightening vs tanning?



Actually, all I find on this board is b*tchiness, whinging, moaning and low self esteem... no to mention blatant racism towards anyone with white skin. (ie: being told to get off THEIR/YOUR board because of my skin color... if it was the other way around it would be world war 3)



Be careful! I have said pretty much the exact same thing before and got completely blasted and abused for it... double standards much?



I read this last so.. by the way, my post above is not attacking you either



Like I said... my post was more general than at you. But I stand by what I said, only ugly people say beauty is skin deep or people who are already beautiful and say it to piss everybody else off. I don't entirely disagree with what you said, my primary goal is to fix hyperpigmentation... not lighten my skin, and I have seen some things on this site that have made me raise my eyebrow... I won't repeat them lest someone decides to have a fit over it. I am not familiar with you, this is the first post I have seen from you on here... Why are you here exactly? Do you have rosacea or acne scars?? Etc? If you have been treated poorly it's not because you are white, it's because people are so very defensive (yes, I have gotten into it with a couple people on here who said crazy things) and when white people come to this forum its usually to give us a song and dance about how bleaching is bad, love yourself blah blah...

Like I said... my post was more general than at you. But I stand by what I said, only ugly people say beauty is skin deep or people who are already beautiful and say it to piss everybody else off. I don't entirely disagree with what you said, my primary goal is to fix hyperpigmentation... not lighten my skin, and I have seen some things on this site that have made me raise my eyebrow... I won't repeat them lest someone decides to have a fit over it. I am not familiar with you, this is the first post I have seen from you on here... Why are you here exactly? Do you have rosacea or acne scars?? Etc?

If I say I have acne scars will everyone get off my back about being in this forum?
That is not directed at you, many others have told me to basically "pi$$ off" because I voiced my opinion.


his is the first post I have seen from you on here
Actually I have over 3,000 posts, there is more to this forum than the skin lightening section, although most regulars wouldn't know it
:: intended to be humour ::

If someone came along and posted in the Dogs forum and they didn't own a dog I would not tell them they don't belong there, I would welcome their input and fresh insight into situations...
This board seems to have a tight knit group of people who band together and drive out any newcomers... newsflash, I am not going anywhere.

Yes I raise my eyebrows quite often, and when I do I let everyone know...
Why bother keeping my opinions to myself when they may in fact make someone realise that they should love themselves for who they are, not what society deems "right"

I am all up for a discussion, I like hearing others people opinions, it's just that certain people are so close minded they do not like hearing the opinions of others.

and when white people come to this forum its usually to give us a song and dance about how bleaching is bad, love yourself blah blah...

That is where I want there to be a discussion but I always get shot down and told it's none of my business, and the name calling starts.

If you are posting on this forum then people should be asking your intentions behind lightening, same goes for tanning as well.
The emotional factors need to be fully explored as well as the physical damage (YES there is physical damage, I can't count how many posts I have read where someone tried a product and ended up bumpy or burnt)

I don't have a problem with people who lighten for the right reasons, it's just no-one has yet to explain/tell me what their reason are and what makes them 'right'

If I say I have acne scars will everyone get off my back about being in this forum?
That is not directed at you, many others have told me to basically "pi$$ off" because I voiced my opinion.


Actually I have over 3,000 posts, there is more to this forum than the skin lightening section, although most regulars wouldn't know it
:: intended to be humour ::

If someone came along and posted in the Dogs forum and they didn't own a dog I would not tell them they don't belong there, I would welcome their input and fresh insight into situations...
This board seems to have a tight knit group of people who band together and drive out any newcomers... newsflash, I am not going anywhere.

Yes I raise my eyebrows quite often, and when I do I let everyone know...
Why bother keeping my opinions to myself when they may in fact make someone realise that they should love themselves for who they are, not what society deems "right"

I am all up for a discussion, I like hearing others people opinions, it's just that certain people are so close minded they do not like hearing the opinions of others.


Okay so you have acne scars, welcome then... We will be more than happy to point you in the right direction on how to fix that:)

Now, as far as posting your opinion,. unless somebody asks for it... you're better off just keeping your mouth shut. If you don't then some people will feed you to the wolves for being "too judgemental" Been there, done that... People say crazy things, I just roll my eyes and get over it, not everybody here thinks the same.

The first few pages highlight people's experiences and personal reasons for lightening, in response to your question about why people do it. Its about personal happiness at the end of the day and lightening does not affect anyone else's safety or happiness except that of the person who decides to lighten, so ultimately it will be an endless debate, but no one is getting hurt except the person who is lightening themselves. You are welcome on any board to voice your opinion. Not everyone here is "racist" as you say towARDS white people. I don't even think anyone here is racist... right?

Okay so you have acne scars, welcome then....We will be more than happy to point you in the right direction on how to fix that:)

Now, as far as posting your opinion, ....unless somebody asks for it...you're better off just keeping your mouth shut. If you don't then some people will feed you to the wolves for being "too judgemental" Been there, done that...People say crazy things, I just roll my eyes and get over it, not everybody here thinks the same.

Oh yes I have been called 'judgemental' many many times, only every in this forum.

I'll leave it for now, and of coarse, I know that my above answers will either be ignored or picked apart and yet again, I will be called "judgemental"

At least you seem to have some sense dessaml.

its about personal happiness at the end of the day and lightening does not affect anyone else's safety or happiness except that of the person who decides to lighten, so ultimately it will be an endless debate, but no one is getting hurt except the person who is lightening themselves. You are welcome on any board to voice your opinion. Not everyone here is "racist" as you say towARDS white people. I dont even think anyone here is racist... right?

You put that so well!! My respones always come out so y, my bad.:p

I'm not racist, if people on here are against white people... then I haven't noticed it:confused:

its about personal happiness at the end of the day and lightening does not affect anyone else's safety or happiness except that of the person who decides to lighten, so ultimately it will be an endless debate, but no one is getting hurt except the person who is lightening themselves. You are welcome on any board to voice your opinion. Not everyone here is "racist" as you say towARDS white people. I dont even think anyone here is racist... right?

Actually, I have to pipe up here and say most definitely yes.

Reverse the situation...
If this were a tanning forum full of white people and a black person came on posting their opinion concerning tanning as I have done... and then the white community came back and picked their answers apart and accused them of prying into people lives etc. etc. etc. just because they were not white... those white people would be considered racist towards the black person...

It's a 2 way street as I have said... I still don't see why I am being picked on just because I am not black!

Oh yes I have been called 'judgemental' many many times, only every in this forum.

I'll leave it for now, and of coarse, I know that my above answers will either be ignored or picked apart and yet again, I will be called "judgemental"

At least you seem to have some sense dessaml.

Thanks Shaz, I'm used to stating my opinion on everything but here it's just best not to unless you're asked, I think I got called judgmental like 10 times in one day the one time I decided to speak up, turned into a fight, the thread got closed and it was just damn annoying. Skin lightening is extremely taboo, especially in black cultures and people are super touchy.

Thanks Shaz, I'm used to stating my opinion on everything but here it's just best not to unless you're asked, I think I got called judgmental like 10 times in one day the one time I decided to speak up, turned into a fight, the thread got closed and it was just damn annoying. Skin lightening is extremely taboo, especially in black cultures and people are super touchy.

I understand that for sure... I am 'much hated' on this forum now...

I am just trying to understand why it's taboo and why people find it necessary, from many of the responses I have seen it's based on what 'society thinks' and how they feel the need to be happy and please the crowds, it's sad (not in a derogatory way... I mean genuinely sad)...
I guess I will never know... no-one will actually have a discussion without it turning nasty. (although I am glad this thread seems to have turned back around)

I understand that for sure... I am 'much hated' on this forum now...

I am just trying to understand why it's taboo and why people find it necessary, from many of the responses I have seen it's based on what 'society thinks' and how they feel the need to be happy and please the crowds, it's sad (not in a derogatory way... I mean genuinely sad)....
I guess I will never know... no-one will actually have a discussion without it turning nasty. (although I am glad this thread seems to have turned back around)

I've never been disregarded or had a bad experience because of my color so I can't speak for them. But skin lightening is not talked about in our culture, its something we do but do not admit to... we even have thread on how to deal with people who ask if we have lightened... because you're not suppose to admit it, ever... unless it is for fading acne marks, lightening for vanity reasons is a big no-no. It's 3 in the morning so this is the only analogy I can think of right now... But where I am from it's like being catholic and admitting you had an abortion... you just don't do it. I don't know why that is, it just is. No one knows I lighten my skin.

Thank you dessaml, that is possibly the best explanation I have been given so far.

It just confuses me is all, I am trying to understand.
Where I live we have a lot of Sudanese immigrants, they have very, very dark skin and no-one thinks any differently of them (at least no-one that I know personally does)
I used to work in a supermarket and they were the best customers, so polite :)

I do not know much about American culture, I would like to learn.

Thankyou dessaml, that is possibly the best explanation I have been given so far.

It just confuses me is all, I am trying to understand.
Where I live we have a lot of Sudanese immigrants, they have very, very dark skin and no-one thinks any differently of them (at least no-one that I know personally does)
I used to work in a supermarket and they were the best customers, so polite :)

I do not know much about American culture, I would like to learn.

If you admit to it then people assume you hate your race and that you want to be a white person and be apart of the "white man's world" (whatever the hell that is) And then they bring up Michael Jackson... because we ALL want to look like him *sarcasm*... and then you are no longer considered black because you turned your back on your race... so then where do you fit in? You're not longer "black" but you arnt white either, not that you wanted to be in the first place... You become is raceless freak almost.

Oh no, I don't see it like that at all...
I don't think that anyone who lightens is turning their back on their race or anything like that, although I can see why people lightening (or people from 'their' race) would think that (even if it is wrong)
And yes, even I can see that the Michael Jackson analogy is just ridiculous :)

Oh no, I don't see it like that at all...
I don't think that anyone who lightens is turning their back on their race or anything like that, although I can see why people lightening (or people from 'their' race) would think that (even if it is wrong)
And yes, even I can see that the Michael Jackson analogy is just ridiculous :)

At least we understand each other, sorry about all the ranting :p

I've never been disregarded or had a bad experience because of my color so I can't speak for them. But skin lightening is not talked about in our culture, its something we do but do not admit to...we even have thread on how to deal with people who ask if we have lightened...because you're not suppose to admit it, ever...unless it is for fading acne marks, lightening for vanity reasons is a big no-no. It's 3 in the morning so this is the only analogy I can think of right now...But where I am from it's like being catholic and admitting you had an abortion...you just don't do it. I don't know why that is, it just is. No one knows I lighten my skin.

Dessaml you hit it right on the nail when you said it was "taboo." Taboo is exactly what skin lightening is in the black culture. Not to be admitted nor discussed. Only in the privacy of online forums. If you watched the Tyra episode on skin bleaching you would see how taboo it is, so yes Shaz, people get EXTREMELY touchy because whenever someone comes on this section of the board, especially someone who is not black, and starts questioning their motives, some people feel like they are being attacked because people outside of their race do not know their personal struggles. But I hope you do read some of the introductory stories about why other people on this board lighten. Maybe it can give you an insight on other people's views and experiences and hopefully you are an objective person, but trust me you will not get through to most people as their minds are already made up about this topic, so please feel welcome to voice your opinion, but most of the time it will reach deaf ears lol. (and that was just to be informative, not at all defensive)

I started lightening my skin about 2 months ago. And within the first month, all of my friends and family, even people in the fashion industry where telling me how refreshed an fair my skin looked. I think the reason I did it was because of the mags n celebs who all look beautiful, but the main media focus is on the fairer skinned celebs. I know some gorgeous dark skined models who are happy with the way they look, but are put down sometimes beacause of their complection. This is not a nice feeling and is forcing our perception of beauty in the wrong direction x

Your second picture did not work so there is nothing to compare to.





And who says I have not experienced 'years of injustice' because I am pale?
It goes both ways, you also do not know my race, simply that I am "white"

People who use products to tan their skin are in my opinion fakes... they do it purely for aesthetic reason an honestly every person I have met who tans their skin is a complete bimbo.
I personally do not like skin cancer or looking orange.

I agree with your comments Itss a new day, I do hope she (or anyone) is not just looking for a man who noticed their skin color first and their personality second.

And yes lightening creams are only temporary, you are going to have to do it every single day your entire life if you want to be "happy"
Nothing is worth that much pain and frustration to look "good"

I think the first girl looks very pretty, but I also think the second one is pretty as well.... that is just based on looks... if they are absolutely obsessed with their skin I wouldn't want to know them.

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/8498487/2/istockphoto_8498487-beauty-head-shot-of-pale-blond-model-with-curly-hair.jpg http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa261/rockthetrend/AlekWekELLE.jpg

Beauty is only skin deep, as the saying goes.



Because if you understood where some of us are coming from, then you would not make it known as though you can not relate. Instead you would be able to relate. But, I have been visiting the tanning threads often within these past 3 months and I have never seen any posts of anyone questioning and trying to show light to them for tanning or wanting to achieve the appearance of tanned skin :confused: :confused: I wonder why? I do not mind others who want to ask and understand why we do what we do, as the reasons can be versatile. But, when it becomes repetitive and for others to become offended for our choices, but does not make these same posts known to those who tan or wish to alter themselves in one way or another in the other threads... to me I don't consider it to be fair really. It's like, then why have this forum up here if the objectives are to try and make them feel uncomfortable about their choices and enlighten them? Especially when someone else considered another's experiences to be considered "bull", that is so unsensitive and offensive. It's challenging enough to meet others who share the same interests and goals with one another, but to finally find an online forum where we can share is like being singled out and judged all over again.

Some people here may feel "less than" or ashamed when standing next to a fairer person. But, I have never felt this way and feel just as an equal as I know I already am. So that's not me. But, I do feel I deserved to be treated better from what I have personally experienced though out these years and no reason in me not achieving that. It isn't me trying to look "white", change races, or about how I'm viewed by other races. I like being my race and am actually have been treated much better by other races than I am my own. I would not even consider being with a guy who is so shallow-minded and condone me for bing darker, as I already have in the past and never will again. The would never have my time of day regardless of what shade I am because I love intellects and strongly dislike shallow, ignorant men. I do not believe "light" is better or more beautiful. But being treated better, as all races are beautiful. But whether consciously or unconsciously, society strongly disagrees and makes it very known with their words and actions and I don't have to settel for it.

Shazamataz, I consider all people beautiful regardless of their skin tone. Sudanese people are very kind and beautiful people and I know this first hand as I used to live in Sudan as well as Ethiopia and Egypt. Look at their genocide struggle mainly because of their skin color and how they are treated so badly because of their dark tone and treated this way from other black Sudanese people froim the north who consider themselves "arab". It's sick, I'll never forget trying to inform my sociology class (mixed group) and my professor (caucasion) in college about the genocide an slavery going on in Sudan. This was before it was internationally recognized as acutal genocide. My professor actually had the odacity to laugh and say my claims were false and outrageous and that stupid class went along with him. And I made it very known of his and the class'es stupidity and ignorance and stated that I have evidence what they were lacking so their foolish thoughts and giggles were bias and bogus... now I'm sure they feel mighty stupid if they acutally care what is going on.

Shaz there is no pipe. Very few, if any blacks or person of color do not care to go on the tanning forums and question anyway as we really don't mind what they choose what they do. I don't understand why many tan, but it's their choice and I respect it. I don't find it racist for a white or black to question it, but to stop always asking all of the time since they already have made up their mind of why we do what we do. So why ask if it falls on deaf ears and unopened mind anyway. We keep answering, but we all know it is more of statements to "enlighten" and not an actual question... as we have seen this hundreds of times already and nothing ever changes. I do not hate you Shaz, I find you to pretty cool. All I can say it to each his/her own, whether we are able to understand the other or not.

Itss A New Day I agree with you on that point. It is more of a choice and not a pressure so they are welcomed to do it openly. In our culture we my not express it as much verbally, but we make it very known what is praised or outcasted in many various ways.

I find every color beautiful and have dated in the past very dark tone like Awek to a very pale ginger who had bright red hair with freckles. I felt they were both very attractive inside and out, only in different ways.

Are you a woman? Are you a black woman? Are you even black? Have you physically been in our shoes? No you haven't. Because if you have, you wouldn't make such outrageous comments.

He (or she) is actually making a lot of sense.

I am Gabrielle Union's complexion with (nearly) the same facial features of actress K.D Aubert (from soul plane), except my nose is a little more pointier. My facial features basically look Indian/hispanic... Indians ask me if I'm Indian all the time. Just last week, an Indian man stopped and stared at me then told me I'm beautiful, and a few days ago an Indian cab driver told me I have a such a pretty face THEN told my WHITE friend that she just looks young... he didn't even say she's pretty! Honest to my dead grand mother! How can you say lighter skinned women are considered prettier? Its bull, or maybe I've simply never been through that. Asian, Hispanic, and (esspecialy Norwegian and Italian) white men have tried to date me. I'm only 19 and the amount of compliments I've received (by black men and by men of other races) through out my teenage years is ridiculous! When I walk down the street, men stare at me and tell me how beautiful I am! I've stood next to light skinned girls on the train, and at parties and 9/10 times I was the one that was stared at. Sorry to say, but it wasn't your skin color that made you invisible to men prior to skin bleaching. It must've been your facial features.

Sorry to say, but it wasn't your skin color that made you invisible to men prior to skin bleaching. It must've been your facial features.

http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/sign/sign0020.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net)

http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/sign/sign0020.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net)

I'm honestly not trying to be funny or make BrownDeceit feel bad, its just pure honesty. Skin color has nothing to do with beauty... its facial features. For example, Keri Hilson is darker than Keyshia Cole. But guess who's considered prettier? Keri Hilson of course.

I'm honestly not trying to be funny or make BrownDeceit feel bad, its just pure honesty. Skin color has nothing to do with beauty... its facial features. For example, Keri Hilson is darker than Keyshia Cole. But guess who's considered prettier? Keri Hilson of course.

Well in a perfect world we would all look like Keri Hilson. In Brown's defense she got too light and thought it made her look weird so she cut back and actually went out in the sun to get some color back. So there is a limit.

http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/sign/sign0020.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net)

LoL OK now that I'm reading that, it did sound funny but seriously, I wasn't trying to be. I hope she realizes that if she's getting attention from men now and think its because she's prettier, its not that she's prettier... her confidence is what's attracting these men. And if they're calling her pretty now, then she always was pretty. No matter how pretty a girl is, if she has a low self esteem.. Men won't notice her much/ think much of her. I've realized that.

In my experience, I have been quite dark (often on purpose from tanning) and not had men issues. In full-disclosure, most of the men I dated were non-black, so that might have been a factor. Or not. <shrug>

Thank you for the explanation Golden Girl, there are a few people on here who are willing to explain things to me rather than jump down my throat and immediately call me judgemental.

I now know it's a very touchy subject, I did not know that before... As I have said it's not like that where I live so I just want to understand.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, I have been picked on for my looks before so I know what it feels like... as I have grown as a person I have learnt to take others nasty comments with a grain of salt, if I think I'm beautiful and the people that matter think I'm beautiful then that's all that matters... screw everyone else.


I would not even consider being with a guy who is so shallow-minded and condone me for bing darker, as I already have in the past and never will again. The would never have my time of day regardless of what shade I am because I love intellects and strongly dislike shallow, ignorant men. I do not believe "light" is better or more beautiful. But being treated better, as all races are beautiful. But whether consciously or unconsciously, society strongly disagrees and makes it very known with their words and actions and I don't have to settel for it.

I really like this passage... that's pretty much what I was trying to say, I'm glad that you do not have time for guys that only see your color and not who you are on the inside.
The only time I post is when I think that there is something more "sinister" going on... I get the feeling that the person is lightening for others approval not just for themselves.

LoL ok now that I'm reading that, it did sound funny but seriously, I wasn't trying to be. I hope she realizes that if shes getting attention from men now and think its because she's prettier, its not that she's prettier... her confidence is what's attracting these men. And if they're calling her pretty now, then she always was pretty. No matter how pretty a girl is, if she has a low self esteem.. Men won't notice her much/ think much of her. I've realized that.

Been there tried that... I said it was a confidence factor and no-one believed me. :p

For some it might be... for others they may in fact just be picking the wrong crowd to hang out with.

LoL ok now that I'm reading that, it did sound funny but seriously, I wasn't trying to be. I hope she realizes that if shes getting attention from men now and think its because she's prettier, its not that she's prettier... her confidence is what's attracting these men. And if they're calling her pretty now, then she always was pretty. No matter how pretty a girl is, if she has a low self esteem.. Men won't notice her much/ think much of her. I've realized that.

Well said girl;)

DyanaGiselle. If you're so gorgeous already and skin lightening doesn't make a difference. How come when I go back to your previous posts it shows that you're trying to figure out why your hands smell funny when you apply bio claire to them. And you want to know why the bio clair threads are closed? Are you that desperate to use such a dangerous product? And the nerve of you to come on here and shun me. Lol. Oh the hypocrisy. And I'm not going to sit up here and say I look like this or I look like that. I know what I look like. I know that I like my features. But all is irrelevant without the proof of pictures. That goes for you as well. Oh and. How's that bioclaire coming along for you buddy?

I think she is referring to the reasons behind her lightening, not the act itself.

Oh. And just in case you try and go back and edit your posts... I've conveniently taken a screenshot. :) Turns out you wanted to get your hands on some mono too huh? That desperate? Willing to try the riskiest products? Even though you're already so beautiful? Mono? You want to depig? Hey. No shame. Just don't come at my neck when you have dirty laundry floating around the boards. Haha. "I'm already beautiful, Indian men stop me all the time" Then why were you trying to get your hands on some mono? Are your hands still raw from the bio claire? Lmfao. Sounds like me you're trying to prove to yourself that skin color doesn't matter. When CLEARLY if you're still that same complexion. The mono and bio claire did NOT work for you. That's too bad. But do NOT come raining on my parade. Because my skin has lightened and yours has failed to. Obviously.

http://i38.tinypic.com/20qj0d5.jpg

http://i38.tinypic.com/303g6s9.jpg

Well said girl;)

Thanks lol

Brown Deceit you cannot edit your answers after 24 hours, just letting you know so you don't waste you time with screencaps from January. :)

DyanaGiselle. If you're so gorgeous already and skin lightening doesn't make a difference. How come when I go back to your previous posts it shows that you're trying to figure out why your hands smell funny when you apply bio claire to them. and you want to know why the bio clair threads are closed? are you that desperate to use such a dangerous product? and the nerve of you to come on here and shun me. Lol. Oh the hypocrisy. And I'm not going to sit up here and say I look like this or I look like that. I know what I look like. I know that I like my features. But all is irrelevant without the proof of pictures. That goes for you as well. Oh and. How's that bioclaire coming along for ya buddy?



Oh. And just in case you try and go back and edit your posts.... I've conveniently taken a screenshot. :) Turns out you wanted to get your hands on some mono too huh? That desperate? Willing to try the riskiest products? Even though you're already so beautiful? Mono? You wanna depig? Hey. No shame. Just don't come at my neck when you have dirty laundry floating around the boards. Haha. "I'm already beautiful, Indian men stop me all the time" Then why were you trying to get your hands on some mono? Are your hands still raw from the bio claire? Lmfao. Sounds like me you're trying to prove to yourself that skin color doesn't matter. When CLEARLY if you're still that same complexion. The mono and bio claire did NOT work for you. That's too bad. But do NOT come raining on my parade. Because my skin has lightened and yours has failed to. Obviously.

http://i38.tinypic.com/20qj0d5.jpg

http://i38.tinypic.com/303g6s9.jpg


LoL

Someone's mad, apparently!

I know I joined a skin lightening forum - so you've wasted time posting all of that info. I never tried to delete or edit those post. I used bio claire, and was thinking of using mono. I was completely uneducated about bio claire and mono at that time (I'll get back to that later) but #1 - I'm doing skin lightening for a COMPLETELY different reason that yours (I'll get back to that later as well), and #2 - you're completely misunderstanding my posts/ point. My point is that you were (or still are) not unattractive to men because of your skin color, theirs plenty of men that like brown skinned women so that's not an excuse. As I stated in my post, I have several light skinned friends that don't get as much attention as me. You are either not a pretty woman (facial features wise), or you had a low self esteem that made men not even want to notice you. And its completely ignorant of you to say that lighter equals prettier, as if facial features don't count. Now back to the bio claire & mono topic. I wanted something that would actually work, and after reading reviews about bio claire on this forum I gave it a try. It lightened me to a dark caramel color (about Mary J Blige's complexion) but I stopped using it because I later found out that its harmful/ has steroids in it. I been stopped using it. If I was so "desperate", id still be using it now. I attempted to use monobenzone but was (thankfully) nearly scammed out of my money. I was completely uneducated about it, and thought it was just a strong lightening cream that would lighten me a few shades in a short period. I had no idea that my skin could've possibly depigged. So you have no idea what you're talking about. My reason for wanting to lighten in the first place is because I have strong indian/hispanic facial features (which I inherited from my Hispanic mother), so I want to just fully look it. You are fully black, and you want to look hispanic like me- that's so sad (you have a curly weave... MY hair is 100% natural curly hair growing from my head). You say I've failed to lighten... but sadly, you've failed to attract men, (like I have throughout my teenage years). So sad!

I feel like people are putting down women who have black features. I have features very similar to Gabrielle Union, so I guess I must be less pretty than someone who has Indian features? Huh? I mean I'm noticing a lot of snobby remarks coming from people who don't have traditionally black features, bragging about how they attract more black men and men of other races.

I feel like people are putting down women who have black features. I have features very similar to Gabrielle Union, so I guess I must be less pretty than someone who has Indian features? Huh? I mean I'm noticing a lot of snobby remarks coming from people who don't have traditionally black features, bragging about how they attract more black men and men of other races.

I don't know if that was directed at DyanaGiselle or not but if it is I think you misunderstood her post... She is not saying that she attracts more men than people with 'black' features at all, I understood it as she was saying it was either that person A does not have attractive facial features (NOT because she is black, just in general) or that she has low self esteem.

Even if they did have "unnatractive facial features" (which I don't really believe in) there is always someone out there who will find those features beautiful, they just haven't found the right person yet.

I don't know if that was directed at DyanaGiselle or not but if it is I think you misunderstood her post... She is not saying that she attracts more men than people with 'black' features at all, I understood it as she was saying it was either that person A does not have attractive facial features (NOT because she is black, just in general) or that she has low self esteem.

Even if they did have "unnatractive facial features" (which i don't really believe in) there is always someone out there who will find those features beautiful, they just haven't found the right person yet.

Thanks for understanding what I was saying, you're completely right! There aren't any unattractive facial features or features period.

No problem, I was hoping I was interpreting it right.

LoL

Someones mad, apparently!

I know I joined a skin lightening forum - so you've wasted time posting all of that info. I never tried to delete or edit those post. I used bio claire, and was thinking of using mono. I was completely uneducated about bio claire and mono at that time (I'll get back to that later) but #1 - I'm doing skin lightening for a COMPLETELY different reason that yours (I'll get back to that later as well), and #2 - you're completely misunderstanding my posts/ point. My point is that you were (or still are) not unattractive to men because of your skin color, theirs plenty of men that like brown skinned women so that's not an excuse. As I stated in my post, I have several light skinned friends that don't get as much attention as me. You are either not a pretty woman (facial features wise), or you had a low self esteem that made men not even want to notice you. And its completely ignorant of you to say that lighter equals prettier, as if facial features don't count. Now back to the bio claire & mono topic. I wanted something that would actually work, and after reading reviews about bio claire on this forum I gave it a try. It lightened me to a dark caramel color (about Mary J Blige's complexion) but I stopped using it because I later found out that its harmful/ has steroids in it. I been stopped using it. If I was so "desperate", id still be using it now. I attempted to use monobenzone but was (thankfully) nearly scammed out of my money. I was completely uneducated about it, and thought it was just a strong lightening cream that would lighten me a few shades in a short period of time. I had no idea that my skin could've possibly depigged. So you have no idea what you're talking about. My reason for wanting to lighten in the first place is because I have strong indian/hispanic facial features (which I inherited from my Hispanic mother), so I want to just fully look it. You are fully black, and you want to look hispanic like me- that's so sad (you have a curly weave... MY hair is 100% natural curly hair growing from my head). You say I've failed to lighten... but sadly, you've failed to attract men, (like I have throughout my teenage years). So sad!

You're still trying to lighten your skin. So please stop acting like you're better than the rest of us. Arguing with people on the internet is so pointless. I'm over it. I wish you the best.

I feel like people are putting down women who have black features. I have features very similar to Gabrielle Union, so I guess I must be less pretty than someone who has Indian features? Huh? I mean I'm noticing a lot of snobby remarks coming from people who don't have traditionally black features, bragging about how they attract more black men and men of other races.

Black features are just as beautiful as features from other races. Each race adds to what's considered beautiful in this world. I even defended rihanna in a recent post. There was some girl bashing her for having african facial features. Sadly, theirs something in this world called preference LoL, theirs men that would prefer your facial features over mine. I wish everybody could just like everyone's looks. But sadly it isn't that way

You're still trying to lighten your skin. So please stop acting like you're better than the rest of us. Arguing with people on the internet is so pointless. I'm over it. I wish you the best.

Exactly, I'm not better than you & you're not better than me because you were able to lighten your skin faster. I know this argument was pointless, I'm 19 years old and too old for this LoL, I'm sure you're too old for this as well. I'm over it too, I was just trying to get my point across and was trying to make you realize several things, but thank you and I wish you the best as well.

I don't know if that was directed at DyanaGiselle or not but if it is I think you misunderstood her post... She is not saying that she attracts more men than people with 'black' features at all, I understood it as she was saying it was either that person A does not have attractive facial features (NOT because she is black, just in general) or that she has low self esteem.

Even if they did have "unnatractive facial features" (which i don't really believe in) there is always someone out there who will find those features beautiful, they just haven't found the right person yet.

I'll be 40 next year & I've realized that there's an audience for everyone(all sorts of physical traits & characteristics).

'A lid for every pot' as my grandmother might say. :D

I'll be 40 next year & I've realized that there's an audience for everyone(all sorts of physical traits & characteristics).

'A lid for every pot' as my grandmother might say. :D


Yea but some people appeal to more of a wider audience which I am trying to do. Being dark brown, with black facial features I feel like I am limited, very limited in who I appeal to. It's depressing.

I'm honestly not trying to be funny or make BrownDeceit feel bad, its just pure honesty. Skin color has nothing to do with beauty... its facial features. For example, Keri Hilson is darker than Keyshia Cole. But guess who's considered prettier? Keri Hilson of course.

How can you say it is pure honesty when you have never seen Browndeceit's face before? She is known to be an attractive person and has won beauty pageants over other girls so one can not judge unless you have seen her for yourself. Keysha Cole is not a very attractive girl, she is not unnattractive. But she is not very pretty either.

Thankyou for the explanation Golden Girl, there are a few people on here who are willing to explain things to me rather than jump down my throat and immediately call me judgemental.

I now know it's a very touchy subject, I did not know that before... As I have said it's not like that where I live so I just want to understand.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, I have been picked on for my looks before so I know what it feels like... as I have grown as a person I have learnt to take others nasty comments with a grain of salt, if I think I'm beautiful and the people that matter think I'm beautiful then that's all that matters... screw everyone else.



I really like this passage... that's pretty much what I was trying to say, I'm glad that you do not have time for guys that only see your color and not who you are on the inside.
The only time I post is when I think that there is something more "sinister" going on... I get the feeling that the person is lightening for others approval not just for themselves.

Thanks Shaz for your genuine concern. Your pretty cool and I want you to always feel welcomed here.

DyanaGiselle. If you're so gorgeous already and skin lightening doesn't make a difference. How come when I go back to your previous posts it shows that you're trying to figure out why your hands smell funny when you apply bio claire to them. and you want to know why the bio clair threads are closed? are you that desperate to use such a dangerous product? and the nerve of you to come on here and shun me. Lol. Oh the hypocrisy. And I'm not going to sit up here and say I look like this or I look like that. I know what I look like. I know that I like my features. But all is irrelevant without the proof of pictures. That goes for you as well. Oh and. How's that bioclaire coming along for ya buddy?

It is a bit confusing DyanaGiselle when pointing out another's flaws for lightening their skin but you are also trying to lighten your skin in quite drastic measures with mono and bio claire. Bio claire is toxic and I learned now to avoid it. But mono takes lightening to another level which eventually equals depigmenting. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's like throwing stones at a person for doing the same actions as you are doing :confused:

Golden Girl,

DyanaGiselle and BrownDeceit have already made up so let's just drop it shall we?

It is a bit confusing DyanaGiselle when pointing out another's flaws for lightening their skin but you are also trying to lighten your skin in quite drastic measures with mono and bio claire. bio claire is toxic and I learned now to avoid it. But mono takes lightening to another level which eventually equals depigmenting. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it's like throwing stones at a person for doing the same actions as you are doing :confused:

Apparently you don't understand what I was trying to say either. I am not saying she's wrong for lightening - point out where I said that. I simply said she's wrong for thinking lighter equals prettier. Im sure we've all seen lighter women that we look better than. And if you read my post above, I clearly stated that I was completely uneducated about bio claire and monobenzone. I thought mono was just a stronger lightening cream that would lighten my skin. Not take all of my color away. Plus I was trying to get deceit to realize that if she was ignored by men in the past then it mustve been because she had low self esteem, or these guys simply didn't find her face attractive. Chances are, now they just like her confidence. Plus if she was a beauty pageant winner, why would men not find her attractive? Something's not making sense here. I've been asked to compete in miss teen ny, and I've constantly received cards from modeling agents ever since I was 13. And I've never had issues attracting boys and men. Im not saying she's unattractive, but I know a few people reading this understand what I'm saying.

Yea but some people appeal to more of a wider audience which I am trying to do. Being dark brown, with black facial features I feel like I am limited, very limited in who I appeal to. It's depressing.

You can't date everybody! LOL:D
Appeal to more of a wider audience?, you sound like a casting director.

Doesn't anyone STOP lightening? Age is just a number, but it seems a lot of people here

Are "TRYING" since forever!!

Does anyone actually get anywhere for long? I have never seen anybody that did. Instead have seen people who use Shahnaz, Fair & Lovely, Makari, and many Hydroquinone products for years and years, who think they have gotten lighter, and even recommend the products as if they're working but they actually look darker than before. Or people constantly trying products and getting nowhere.

:rolleyes:

It seems like in the end, for many people the only thing that gets lighter is their wallet, no?

Is this a neverending cycle? And is Fair & Flawless the best product out there at the moment? :)

Hey darkskin girl, I know you're trying to lighten, as we all are. But that doesn't mean that just because you have african features and dark skin at the moment, that you are ugly! I wanted to show you many beautiful women in hollywood with dark skin/ brown skin that are beautiful. So even though you're on the road to lightening. You don't have to feel ugly if you're not at the color you want to be yet:

Victoria's Secret Model Oluchi- Dark skin, African features, GORGEOUS. She's a Vicky's Model for crying out loud
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Uq_rAoAVHWk/R9ZKGubllxI/AAAAAAAABB4/Z7qahEs4aJY/s320/oluchi&#37;2B1.jpg

Who DOESN'T think Tatyana Ali is gorgeous? She's beautiful.
http://www.singersroom.com/flicks/2009/03/tvone-road-toast/tatyana-ali.jpg


I don't know a man who doesn't find Nia Long absolutely beautiful!
http://static.reelmovienews.com/images/gallery/nia-long.jpg

http://thewowjonesreport.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/angelabassettcu.jpg

http://imanisnotfaux.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/maiapretty.jpg

(I know Zoe may not be the darkest, but she even said it herself that her nose was more African looking and she loves it and she feels that she looks beautiful with it. And I think Zoe was ranked in the top ten for most beautiful women this year)
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l8xeX8k9lgo/SOv0eK3U-eI/AAAAAAAAH-I/vamze2_mmHA/s400/zoe+saldana+evian+water+jean+gaultier+show.jpg

My point is. Even though sometimes other standards of beauty are held in a higher esteem. No matter what. No one can deny true beauty. That's the end of the story. Even if people assume a girl with dark skin and african features isn't supposed to be beautiful. They are just so much more blown away when she is. I'm not kidding. So I hope you know you're not ugly. And there's nothing wrong with your features. You just got to learn how to rock them.

I've never said lighter = prettier. I said that a lot of times ignorant people in society can not get past a girls skin color to see her true beauty. And please do not insult Golden Girl's intelligence. She was not trying to pick a fight with you or disrespect you in anyway. You're acting extremely childish. No I have not "made up" with you. But I do not wish to continue arguing with you. I like frequenting these boards to soak up knowledge about skin lightening. Not to put other people down or engage in drama. So please DROP IT.

Victoria's Secret Model Oluchi- Dark skin, African features

That's what you consider african features?:eek:
Hmm I guess my idea of african features differs from yours.

Dyana. I think you need to look inside of yourself. You seem to have this constant need to try and drag others down. "I have better features" "You must have been ugly" seriously. You don't know my life. You don't know my history. You don't even know if I look the same from when I was 14 (when men considered me ugly) up until now (21) Honestly... You have no idea who any of the people are on this board, nor do we know you. Can you please stop trying to bring other people down and have a little positivity. This board isn't even fun to me anymore.

Victoria's Secret Model Oluchi- Dark skin, African features

That's what you consider african features?:eek:
hmm I guess my idea of african features differs from yours.

SHE IS FROM NIGERIA. YES. I consider those to be AFRICAN FEATURES. SHE'S AN AFRICAN WOMAN. She was born and raised there.

SHE IS FROM NIGERIA. YES. I consider those to be AFRICAN FEATURES. SHE'S AN AFRICAN WOMAN. She was born and raised there.

To me african features is, have you ever seen LiL Kim's old mug shot?
That's what I considered african features.

This women looks like the other white V.S. models I have seen.
Have you ever seen a black barbie doll?
It looks like a white barbie doll only darker. Lol
That's what she looks like to me.

I've never said lighter = prettier. I said that a lot of times ignorant people in society can not get past a girls skin color to see her true beauty. And please do not insult Golden Girl's intelligence. She was not trying to pick a fight with you or disrespect you in anyway. You're acting extremely childish. No I have not "made up" with you. But I do not wish to continue arguing with you. I like frequenting these boards to soak up knowledge about skin lightening. Not to put other people down or engage in drama. So please DROP IT.

I'm 19 and I'm acting far more mature than you. When I do lighten I surely won't create a hideous childish list for reasons "being lighter is "better". Lmao. Was that list a joke?? Esspecialy the one where you typed something like "he won't be afaid of having dark kids. It will be my secret" who are you kidding?? Lmao. Grow up. And realize you're not more attractive - your confidence is just higher. I will never say I'm more attractive when I lighten, I'll just look pure Hispanic and less people will ask me about my race. It really is annoying when people come up to me asking "what are you? Indian and black? Dominican? Half this? Half that? " I'm beautiful no matter what shade, you should feel that way as well.

I've never said lighter = prettier. I said that a lot of times ignorant people in society can not get past a girls skin color to see her true beauty. And please do not insult Golden Girl's intelligence. She was not trying to pick a fight with you or disrespect you in anyway. You're acting extremely childish. No I have not "made up" with you. But I do not wish to continue arguing with you. I like frequenting these boards to soak up knowledge about skin lightening. Not to put other people down or engage in drama. So please DROP IT.

I thought you both wished each other the best:confused:
That was me who thought you guys "made up".
I'm just trying to slow this down because if this keeps up you know who will close the thread no questions asked.(not FatherChuck the other one).

To me african features is, have you ever seen LiL Kim's old mug shot?
That's what I considered african features.

This women looks like the other white V.S. models I have seen.
Have you ever seen a black barbie doll?
It looks like a white barbie doll only darker. lol
That's what she looks like to me.

Really? She doesn't look African to you? Hmmmmm http://images.nymag.com/fashion/models/oonweagba/oonweagba_profile.jpg

http://www.hellomagazine.com/fashion/specials/africanbeauties/fotos/oluchi1b.jpg

http://www4.pictures.gi.zimbio.com/Gary+Barnett+Russell+Simmons+Present+Portraits+P-ja3BYzgFYl.jpg

... She still doesn't look African to you? Mkay. Well. She looks like a beautiful AFRICAN barbie doll to me.

Doesn't anyone STOP lightening? Age is just a number, but it seems alot of people here

are "TRYING" since forever!!!

Does anyone actually get anywhere for long? I have never seen anybody that did. Instead have seen people who use Shahnaz, Fair & Lovely, Makari, and many Hydroquinone products for years and years,, who think they have gotten lighter, and even recommend the products as if they're working but they actually look darker than before. Or people constantly trying products and getting nowhere.
:rolleyes:
It seems like in the end, for many people the only thing that gets lighter is their wallet, no?
Is this a neverending cycle?
And is Fair & Flawless the best product out there at the moment? :)

It's the best product FOR ME, maybe not for you.
You have to try out products to see what works FOR YOU.
Skin lightening is NOT permanent, as long as your skin is producing melanin your going to have to keep using creams, but if you get your hands on a good cream you can cut down to using it once or twice a week for upkeep.

Really? She doesn't look African to you? Hmmmmm http://images.nymag.com/fashion/models/oonweagba/oonweagba_profile.jpg

She just looks GOOD!!
End of story! Lol

I'm 19 and im acting far more mature than you. When I do lighten I surely won't create a hideous childish list for reasons why "being lighter is "better". Lmao. Was that list a joke?? Esspecialy the one where you typed something like "he won't be afaid of having dark kids. It will be my secret" who are you kidding?? Lmao. Grow up. And realize you're not more attractive - your confidence is just higher. I will never say I'm more attractive when I lighten, I'll just look pure Hispanic and less people will ask me about my race. It really is annoying when people come up to me asking "what are you? Indian and black? Dominican? Half this? Half that??" I'm beautiful no matter what shade, you should feel that way as well.

... Are you done telling me that I look the same as I did when I was 14? What is your problem? Stop trying to drag others down. Trying to drag others down doesn't change who you are on the inside. KNOW that. At the end of the day. You still have to deal with you. You will be the same. No matter how you try to make others feel less of you. You continue to try and attack me and the way you THINK I look. I'm not trying to attack you. Or your features. Or how you look. Quite frankly, trying to bring you down will do NOTHING for me. Whether you wish you were full hispanic and you don't want to be part black. I don't know. It's not my issue. I DON'T care. Stop taking your insecurities out on me. I'm done responding to you. Please take your indian features and your "good hair" and every other reason why you're so much better than everyone else. And go sit in the corner. Just leave me alone. And you CLEARLY don't read anything that I say... I think dark skin is beautiful. I have been preaching that since day one. But in society many people can't see past the dark skin. So I lighten. Oh goodness. Just stop responding to me. Go ahead. Make your rebuttal. I'll let you have the last word. Then after that will you just please shut up and leave me alone? I'll let you have your say. I won't even respond. Just stop talking to me. And even if I did honestly feel the lighter skin made me feel more beautiful. There are girls that feel that way. And they chose to lighten. Are you bringing them down as well? Bottom line. Everyone is trying to lighten on this board. You are not better than the next person. Regardless of your racial make up, your hair texture, your nose, WHATEVER. You're not. I say this all the time. If slavery was the other way around. Everyone would be trying to look more African. Don't get too caught up in the hype of what is beautiful and what is not. There's really no such thing. It's what you can convince people of.

She just looks GOOD!!!
end of story!! lol

Yes. She looks good. And she also looks very African. It's not hard to tell.

Dyana. I think you need to look inside of yourself. You seem to have this constant need to try and drag others down. "I have better features" "You must have been ugly" seriously. You don't know my life. You don't know my history. You don't even know if I look the same from when I was 14 (when men considered me ugly) up until now (21) Honestly.... You have no idea who any of the people are on this board, nor do we know you. Can you please stop trying to bring other people down and have a little positivity. This board isn't even fun to me anymore.

I'm not trying to put you down, but its like you're saying you were once an ugly duckling then you slapped on some magic beauty cream (lightening cream) then POOF! You became a beautiful woman. You apparently were always beautiful, if your facial features are still the same and men are paying you attention. I was never trying to put you down, I'm just trying to understand things. Maybe my posts are not coming out right but hopefully you understand me. Plus the reason why I came at you that way is mainly because of that list you made. You're making it seem like a girl has to be light to receive good treatment, good men and an overall happy life. That's very messed up, what if theirs young dark skinned girls that read that and now feel like they need to lighten their skin.

Victoria's Secret Model Oluchi- Dark skin, African features

That's what you consider african features?:eek:
hmm I guess my idea of african features differs from yours.


I am African and Oluchi without a doubt has African features. African features range widely but she has a strong jawline, high cheekbones, and a flat nose. I have seen many fellow Africans with similar features, hence African features. Her face is oval and she has small full lips and a high forehead so I can see why you would think she looks like a black barbie doll because of the proportion of her face. People do have different perceptions of what constitutes African features, but that is just my opinion.

http://www.thescubasite.com/smile/sign/sign0004.gif (http://www.thescubasite.com/Learn-To-Scuba-Dive/scuba-diving-hand-signals)



Such drama.:rolleyes:


This is why black people do not talk about skin lightening, it was only a matter of time before somebody started nuttin up in this thread. Skin lightening is the ultimate "dont ask, dont tell" I didn't even read anybody's posts about why they lighten their skin because I knew about 90% of them I would not agree with. I lighten my skin, but my happiness doesn't depend on it, and I don't think anyone else's should either... It's sad when you read people's posts on how they are "desperate" to get light and will do "anything" and spend hundreds of dollars and cry themselves to sleep because they are not the color of Tyra Banks... and I have seen those threads like that. At the end of the day yes, it would be nice to get lighter... but its not the end of the world if you don't.

There are people who have been burned over 80% of their body, now THAT is something to cry about. Just be thankful you're not in their position.

Ooook moving on...
Would anyone like to add to this thread about why they lighten?

hey darkskin girl, I know you're trying to lighten, as we all are. but that doesn't mean that just because you have african features and dark skin at the moment, that you are ugly! I wanted to show you many beautiful women in hollywood with dark skin/ brown skin that are beautiful. so even though you're on the road to lightening. you don't have to feel ugly if you're not at the color you want to be yet:

Victoria's Secret Model Oluchi- Dark skin, African features, GORGEOUS. She's a Vicky's Model for crying out loud
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Uq_rAoAVHWk/R9ZKGubllxI/AAAAAAAABB4/Z7qahEs4aJY/s320/oluchi%2B1.jpg

Who DOESN'T think Tatyana Ali is gorgeous? She's beautiful.
http://www.singersroom.com/flicks/2009/03/tvone-road-toast/tatyana-ali.jpg


I don't know a man who doesn't find Nia Long absolutely beautiful!
http://static.reelmovienews.com/images/gallery/nia-long.jpg

http://thewowjonesreport.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/angelabassettcu.jpg

http://imanisnotfaux.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/maiapretty.jpg

(I know Zoe may not be the darkest, but she even said it herself that her nose was more African looking and she loves it and she feels that she looks beautiful with it. And I think Zoe was ranked in the top ten for most beautiful women this year)
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l8xeX8k9lgo/SOv0eK3U-eI/AAAAAAAAH-I/vamze2_mmHA/s400/zoe+saldana+evian+water+jean+gaultier+show.jpg

My point is. Even though sometimes other standards of beauty are held in a higher esteem. No matter what. No one can deny true beauty. That's the end of the story. Even if people assume a girl with dark skin and african features isn't supposed to be beautiful. They are just so much more blown away when she is. I'm not kidding. So I hope you know you're not ugly. And there's nothing wrong with your features. You just gotta learn how to rock them.


Oh aw thank you. That was so sweet of you to say that.

IMO, I have features like Tatiana Ali, (my eyes are more exotic looking IMO) and people always mistake me for being West African. I happen to think I look African American. Funny thing is, the lighter I got, the more people starting presuming I was from West Africa! When I was darker nobody used to say that

Lol. People say you look west african because you probably are. About 90&#37; of the slaves came from west africa. And not all people from west africa are born with dark skin. My mothers side of the family is full of red bones for example. And ugh. Tatyana Ali is soooo gorgeous. I wanted to be her sooooo badly when I was younger. I'd try and dress like her and wear those hats she always used to wear. Lame. I know. Lol. And if your eyes are exotic (I'm thinking kind of like Amerie's?) that should make you appear to wider audiences too. I get what you mean when you say that. Who wants to be limited to just one group of men? No one! But I just love it when people who aren't supposed to be beautiful. Just beat the odds. Kind of like how not even light skinned women were considered beautiful, just because they were part black. But now society can't help but see their beauty no matter what color they are. I think it's the same struggle with dark skinned women. But we're still kicking down that door. But you can't deny beauty. Even if they say you're not supposed to be beautiful.

Lol. People say you look west african because you probably are. About 90% of the slaves came from west africa. and not all people from west africa are born with dark skin. My mothers side of the family is full of red bones for example. And ugh. Tatyana Ali is soooo gorgeous. I wanted to be her sooooo badly when I was younger. I'd try and dress like her and wear those hats she always used to wear. Lame. I know. Lol. And if your eyes are exotic (I'm thinking kind of like Amerie's?) that should make you appear to wider audiences too. I get what you mean when you say that. Who wants to be limited to just one group of men? No one! But I just love it when people who aren't supposed to be beautiful. Just beat the odds. Kind of like how not even light skinned women were considered beautiful, just because they were part black. But now society can't help but see their beauty no matter what color they are. I think it's the same struggle with dark skinned women. But we're still kicking down that door. But you can't deny beauty. Even if they say you're not supposed to be beautiful.

Yeah but other African Americans are saying this. That's what makes it so weird to me. I had a black man say I look like I'm from Africa, as if his ancestor don't. And he was waay darker than me. I just find it very annoying

There's nothing wrong with "looking like you're from africa" if someone said you look like you're latino. Would it annoy you? Don't let people brainwash you into thinking that there's anything wrong with looking like you're from Africa. Smh. Don't let this society brainwash you sweetie. Please.

I hear it all the time that I look like I'm from Africa, half of me is ethipian and so I always say thank you! I have been told I looked like I could have possibly came from quite a few regions in Africa. Because Africans from all regions are some of the most beautiful and diverse people with a variety of features and shades. I think African women look exotic and stand out to me with distinguished features, they don't look plain or anything.


DyanaGiselle I was only adding my observations and thoughts. It was nothing personal, I like to speak my mind and try and question in order to understand certain things that at times does not make sense.

Oluchi is a beautiful young woman. She does not need makeup or anything, she is just naturally beautiful. As for Angela Basset, she has always been one of my favorate actors. As an X-Men big fan and a comic book collector since I was a kid, I had always wanted Angela to be given the role as Storm for the Xmen movies. But was dissapointed when they did eventually came out with the xmen movie and the role was given to Hale Berry. I like Hale a lot too and she is a great actor as well. But, her personality did not fit who Storm really was and she looked nothing like Storm. Storm looked a lot like Angela Basset and even was an older woman with a strong personality like Angela, she's even built like her.

I totally agree that Angela would have been a better Storm!

Are you done telling me that I look the same as I did when I was 14?

When did I ever say that?.


Trying to drag others down doesn't change who you are on the inside. KNOW that. At the end of the day. You still have to deal with you. You will be the same
I never tried to drag you down, honestly I'm trying to understand you but you don't make any sense to me at times.


You continue to try and attack me and the way you THINK I look

So I assume you're not too good looking because you said men didn't find you attractive. Um... my mistake?

Whether you wish you were full hispanic and you dont want to be part black. I dont know

I like my black side, but my facial features are indian/ hispanic looking. So why shouldn't I just fully look it? If my facial features looked more black, I would literally brush my curls out, get a tan and try to fully look black. So its not me not wanting to BE part black. But yes, I want to LOOK more hispanic, and lightening will help me look it.


Stop taking your insecurities out on me

Please point out where you think I come across as insecure. It will be highly appreciated. Thanks.


I'll let you have the last word. Then after that will you just please shut up and leave me alone? I'll let you have your say

Lol. Ok thanks for letting me have the last word(s), although I never asked to have it. You're more than welcome to say what ever you want to say, we're both adults - so asking me to shut up and "leave you alone" is not needed.


Don't get too caught up in the hype of what is beautiful and what is not. There's really no such thing

You see, now that's the reason why you're not making any sense to me. You say "Don't get too caught up in the hype of what is beautiful and what is not"?. Hun, you're clearly caught up in it.

They need more black women super heroes like Storm. I think xmen should be recreated and have Angela Basset as the original Storm.

They need more black women super heroes like Storm. I think xmen should be recreated and have Angela Basset as the original Storm.

That would rock! I love comics.. have you read Alan Moore? I just started the Tom Strong series but I've read Promethea, LOEG, Watchmen of course. I loove him(A.M.).


Obligatory on-topic comment:

I really find beauty to be mostly structural.. an even-toned color of any shade doesn't make that much difference to my eyes.

IMO, It's like a house:

if a house is sound & well-built, beautiful, comfortable, smells nice, has good feng shui/positive energy, etc. the exterior paint color is really low on the list of considerations.

Omg. Angela would have been good for storm. But I love Halle Berry too!

*pops head back in again*
Angela Bassett would have been rediculously good for Storm... Halle just seemed kind of, I don't know, cold, as Storm... and that's coming from an 18 year with absolutely no history on the comics themselves... lol

That would rock! I love comics..have you read Alan Moore? I just started the Tom Strong series but I've read Promethea, LOEG, Watchmen of course. I loove him(A.M.).


Obligatory on-topic comment:

I really find beauty to be mostly structural.. an even-toned color of any shade doesn't make that much difference to my eyes.

IMO, It's like a house:

if a house is sound & well-built, beautiful, comfortable, smells nice, has good feng shui/positive energy, etc. the exterior paint color is really low on the list of considerations.

I haven't read much from Alan Moore, although I have seen the films "V for Vendetta" and "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen". I haven't read the Watchmen yet how is it? I love reading the Apocalypse, Storm, Spiderman, Xmen, Wolverine, I like Marvel comics.
http://www.comicartfans.com/Images/Category_7145/subcat_51459/TEMPESTADE-sm.jpghttp://eartodastreetz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/angela-bassett2.jpg

I guess many people sensed it too:
Cult Sirens: Angela Bassett (http://www.cultsirens.com/bassett/bassett.htm)

First place: for Angela Basset
Second place: I would say if not Angela, then Iman the super model... besides she is also east african.
Third place: Naomi Campbell, but I'm unsure if she can act or not.

But, liked Hale Berry as Catwoman... well, that would have been a good role for Angela too... lol

DAYUM! They're like twins! And Angela has the body for it too! Halle has a more curvier, feminine look. Angela is more muscular, like the pic of storm.. WOW

Re: Angela as Storm.. I know right? Amazing! We need a time machine :P

Watchmen is grrrrrrreeeeeat GG. OMG, I even cried at one point! A first for me with a graphic novel! I just love everything that I've read by Moore so far.

Lol... well there's still chance for a "Storm" film, like the one they did for Wolverine (that Australian guy is so fine). Maybe I should try contacting the director & producer who has been remaking the Marvel comics into movies and push for the idea.. maybe even a petition or something from many people may persuade them to use Angela when and if they decide to make a film about Storm? Because although I like Hale in many other films, her role as Storm is very watered down and they used Storm very little compared to her actual leadership role in the Xmen. It really makes me want to kick the person who decided that on their knees. I know it sounds silly, but I always wanted to pose as a model for different comic book companies... that would be sooo cool.

I'll have to chek out Watchmen then Eggo, I have heard of it.

You make the petition, Im signing pronto!

You make the petition, Im signing pronto!

OK, you serious? Cause I'll set up a site this month and see how to get it to them..

another good one would have been Nona Gaye (Marvin Gaye's daughter) from the Matrix who played Zee, but 1st still goes to Angela.
http://www.kalamu.com/bol/wp-content/content/images/nona&#37;20gaye.jpg

She's gorgeous GoldenGirl.. my vote goes to her, she looks like she has the 'attitude' to play Storm.

ITA! Nona seems like an exc. Choice too!

lo... yeah Nona does have the attitude of Storm as well. I loved her as Zee in the Matrix.

I'm half African half Filipino. My skin tone is almost like the singer Ciara. The reason I want to get lighter skin (to a light caramel) is because no one knows my bi-racial-ness. (or barely) I take most from my father (African) so I appear more "black." I don't want to sound rude or stupid but I always wanted to appear more Asian. I always had my Filipino friends come over and thought "oh they're so pretty" and Id look at myself and I never fit in. I guess I think having lighter skin would help. Society makes you think lightening is "bad" maybe it is. I don't know. But id rather me wrong and happy than right and unhappy.

Wow golden girl, that was deep. Very emotional story behind this,I enjoyed your post and I agree with you totally.

Hi everyone,

My user name is Hot Cocoa and I joined this forum today. I am from West Africa and live in Los Angeles. To answer your question BrownDeceit, before I came to live in the States, I was OK with my skin color, I am a rich dark chocolate complexion. But since I came here things have changed after an incident few months ago. I was shopping on Hollywood Blvd and a black guy came to me and wanted to sell me CDs. I told him I wasn't interested and the next thing he was following me around yelling "black and ugly" The street was really busy and everbody was looking at me. I felt so bad and realised that dark skin is like a curse here in the States especially in the black community. Funny enough white guys seem to find me very attractive and exotic as I also speak French (I am dating a white guy) However, I feel the urge to be lighter. During summer I used bio claire after reading all the posts on that product but it thinned by skin and gave me an unvenen complexion... Yesterday, after reading some posts on 55H+ I ordered the glycerin, soap, and lotion but I am not even sure it's going to work on me as I am really dark :( Anyway, I think this forum is the best place for me to be as members are not judgemental and try to help out. Thanks for this excellent thread BrownDeceit because it's what encouraged me to join askmehelpdesk.

Hey Vanillawanna be, not here to judge, because everyone's entitled to their own opinion, freedom of speech, but I have to say this: How in the world could you say that dark skinned people look dirty"? I just think that's so deregatory, it sounds like something a racist white person would say, I mean the KKK called us dirty, porch monkeys, etc. Take, Naomi Campbell, she's very dark skin, and very beautiful, does she look dirty? Hell no, she's all up in everybody's magazine and on the runway. Kenya Moore (Miss America 19XX) she's also very dark skin, and vety beautiful (She and Tyra Banks are best friends, and Tyra always complients her beuatiful skin tone on her racial shows). But anyway, you are entitled to your own opinion, but I just do not agree with your statement that dark people look dirty and unclean and that light people look pure and clean.

I so agree with you, Brown Deceit. Take my cousin for example, he's about 6'5, med-dark brown skin, musuclar, and he plays college football, a lot of girls think my because is so fine, he's really built. He really doesn't care about color of girls as long as they have a good personality. My because says he'll date light dark skinend girls, that it doesn't matter to him, fine is fine. So one day I put him to the test. I said, so if you saw two girls stainding side by side, they had the same features, same shape, same height, same body type, same stylle, same hair, etc, excpet one was light and one was darl, which girl would you choose? And guess what he said? He said, "Oh, I'd choose the red girl". I asked him why, since he just said it didn't matter he likes both, and he said, "well if I was giving the option to pick out of the two, it would be the light skinned girl over the dark one, I don't know whay, but I'd just choose the light skinned girl firts"

Yeah, I live in the FLA (Dirty South) and that's all you hear guys talk about is fine "yellow bone", bad "red bone" and fine caramel complexion. Even all the southern rappers always talking about they want them a bad red bone, it's never nothing about dark skinned girls.


I think it's regional. In some places, black men care about skin color more than others. Colorism is everywehre but its worse depending on where you live. For instance, I hear its pretty bad down south, and in places like LA.(are you from down south, I hear a lot of darkskin wo men complaining on YouTube about how hard it is in the southern regions) But if you go to New York, skin color doesn't matter that much (that's what some of the black women I've chatted with online said)


I do know that a brown or darkskin women can get noticed if they have a really really nice body like a big booty. Then skin color becomes a bit irrelavant. I am a dark brown woman who has a small waist and big booty, so when I get down about my color, I thank god that I can fall back on my nice frame.[/QUOTE]

Hi everyone,

My user name is Hot Cocoa and I joined this forum today. I am from West Africa and live in Los Angeles. To answer your question BrownDeceit, before I came to live in the States, I was ok with my skin color, I am a rich dark chocolate complexion. But since I came here things have changed after an incident few months ago. I was shopping on Hollywood Blvd and a black guy came to me and wanted to sell me CDs. I told him I wasn't interested and the next thing he was following me around yelling "black and ugly" The street was really busy and everbody was looking at me. I felt so bad and realised that dark skin is like a curse here in the States especially in the black community. Funny enough white guys seem to find me very attractive and exotic as I also speak French (I am dating a white guy) However, I feel the urge to be lighter. During summer I used bio claire after reading all the posts on that product but it thinned by skin and gave me an unvenen complexion... Yesterday, after reading some posts on 55H+ I ordered the glycerin, soap, and lotion but I am not even sure it's gonna work on me as I am really dark :( Anyway, I think this forum is the best place for me to be as members are not judgemental and try to help out. Thanks for this excellent thread BrownDeceit because it's what encouraged me to join askmehelpdesk.

Welcome Hot Cocoa. That is great to be with someone who admires you outside as well as inside. Lol... seems like I am going to have to learn some french and head to France. Which 55h+ lotion are you using?

Pure Suga I know where you are coming from. I am living in the southeast and I find it to be sick for these so-called rappers to write lame songs about "red bone, yellow bone"... nothing solid and lacks depth. I had a couple of associates who's favorite songs that only sang about "red bone", even one of my neighbors getting all gigitty about a song by Lil Wayne"

"I Like Red Bone
Pretty Feat, Slim Waist, Cute Face
Girl If That's You
Then Put Your Info In My Two Way
Girl You A Star Me And You Can Make A Movie... "

I don't even care for Lil' Wayne along with many other rappers. Not saying songs referring to a specific skin color should not be written, but there is no balance and one topic far outweighs the other, as the other is considered invisible. The only rapper that comes to mind who was versatile with his lyrics and praising the beauty of women including darkskin and brownskin women was Tupac. Not saying all his lyrics were clean, which they were not, just that it is very rare or near impossible to see that these days. They don't see the damage that they are establishing with their ignorance.

I started lightening my skin after I went to africa for winter break last year.. I saw how beautiful my cousin's skin was and how light skinned women were chased so much.. I am pretty and I get attention from guys but myself esteem was still low.. I didn't think I looked any prettier because I lightened even though I loved my skin color till an old best friend from high school who I hadn't seen in a year saw me three months after I started bleaching and didn't recognize me at first and then was like omg you look so different.. I just played it off saying it's the makeup and then another time we hung out, she said oh you look so pretty now.:rolleyes: this boosted myself esteem..
My boyfriend also prefers light skinned girls.. always makes cooments like oh so and so is not that pretty but she's light skinned... I feel like lightening gave me more self confidence.. I was able to approach people more and felt more comfortable in my skin. Well I got back darker since I stopped for a few months this summer and now I'm back to step 1 lol.

Hi everyone,

My user name is Hot Cocoa and I joined this forum today. I am from West Africa and live in Los Angeles. To answer your question BrownDeceit, before I came to live in the States, I was ok with my skin color, I am a rich dark chocolate complexion. But since I came here things have changed after an incident few months ago. I was shopping on Hollywood Blvd and a black guy came to me and wanted to sell me CDs. I told him I wasn't interested and the next thing he was following me around yelling "black and ugly" The street was really busy and everbody was looking at me. I felt so bad and realised that dark skin is like a curse here in the States especially in the black community.

Hi Hot Cocoa,

Welcome to the board and good luck with your lightening goal.

I have to say, That boy ( because he definitely is a BOY) has real issues and people like him, who revel in putting people down, are the scum of the earth! But you know what, I am a great believer in karma and hopefully his day will come soon. I wonder if people like him realise how much their words hurt. He has probably been put down himself and is so full of hatred, he unleashes it whenever he is rejected for the simplest of things.

I know he is the reason for your decision to lighten but I pray you do not allow his comments to ever make you feel bad about yourself. HE is the true UGLY one!!

Oh and just to add to that, I bet you a million dollars he wouldn't have tried it, had you been a guy! What a D**khead!!

Welcome Hot Cocoa. That is great to be with someone who admires you outside as well as inside. lol...seems like I am going to have to learn some french and head to France. which 55h+ lotion are you using?

Pure Suga I know where you are coming from. I am living in the southeast and I find it to be sick for these so-called rappers to write lame songs about "red bone, yellow bone"...nothing solid and lacks depth. I had a couple of associates whos favorite songs that only sang about "red bone", even one of my neighbors getting all gigitty about a song by Lil Wayne"

"I Like Red Bone
Pretty Feat, Slim Waist, Cute Face
Girl If Thats You
Then Put Your Info In My Two Way
Girl You A Star Me And You Can Make A Movie..."

I don't even care for Lil' Wayne along with many other rappers. not saying songs referring to a specific skin color should not be written, but there is no balance and one topic far outweighs the other, as the other is considered invisible. The only rapper that comes to mind who was versatile with his lyrics and praising the beauty of women including darkskin and brownskin women was Tupac. not saying all his lyrics were clean, which they were not, just that it is very rare or near impossible to see that these days. they don't see the damage that they are establishing with their ignorance.

Hey Golden Girl,

Thanks for your message, I really appreciate. The lotion I ordered is 55H+ Efficacite Exceptionnel Body Lotion 16.8 Fl. OZ. (500 ml). I am sure you don't need to speak French to attract anybody, you seem like a very nice person! As for Lil Wayne, I think he is the ugliest rapper ever!! I wonder how come he has so many babymamas:eek: (especially Lauren London) It must probably come from his "fame..." I mean if a guy looking like him stops me in the streets I will run away screaming "Holy Ghost!!!" Anyway, everyone has his own preferences...

Hi Hot Cocoa,

welcome to the board and good luck with your lightening goal.

I have to say, That boy ( cos he definitely is a BOY) has real issues and people like him, who revel in putting people down, are the scum of the earth !! But you know what, I am a great believer in karma and hopefully his day will come soon. I wonder if people like him realise how much their words hurt. He has probably been put down himself and is so full of hatred, he unleashes it whenever he is rejected for the simplest of things.

I know he is the reason for youur decsion to lighten but I pray you do not allow his comments to ever make you feel bad about yourself. HE is the true UGLY one !!!

Hi Maharani,

Thanks so much . I think a lot of people don't realise how much words can hurt and YES I do believe in karma and know that it's going to catch up with this idiot soon:p Thanks God my boyfriend is always telling me how beautiful I am (he calls me "my African Queen") and it does help. But I still want to be a little bit lighter (just a bit LOLLLL:))

Yeah, I live in the FLA (Dirty South) and that's all you hear guys talk about is fine "yellow bone", bad "red bone" and fine caramel complexion. Even all teh southern rappers always talking about they want them a bad red bone, it's never nothing about dark skinned girls.


I think it's regional. In some places, black men care about skin color more than others. Colorism is everywehre but its worse depending on where you live. For instance, I hear its pretty bad down south, and in places like LA.(are you from down south, I hear a lot of darkskin wo men complaining on youtube about how hard it is in the southern regions) But if you go to New York, skin color doesn't matter that much (that's what some of the black women I've chatted with online said)


I do know that a brown or darkskin women can get noticed if they have a really really nice body like a big booty. Then skin color becomes a bit irrelavant. I am a dark brown woman who has a small waist and big booty, so when I get down about my color, I thank god that i can fall back on my nice frame.[/QUOTE]

I feel you when you talk about LA and how black men react towards light skin :mad: And then they will be the ones to give hardlook when they see black girls with white guys :rolleyes:

Welcome, Bienvenue & salut HC!

I hope you're lightening for yourself only. Unfortunately, calling someone dark or black is a common ignorant insult here.

if I had a beautiful even-toned dark skin I surely would not mess with it over some random moron's outburst. Best of luck whatever you decide!

& I know all about those hard looks too. Mon mari, il est Francais et aussi blanc!

Right now I wish that people were like Sims, Meez, Secondlife characters & you could simply click on the color you preferred whenever. Lol. It would make this all much easier!

I'd totally trade this whatever brown for a nice even-toned deep chocolate in a hot second.

I know I'm too old to have these issues but it's how I feel right now.

Thanks hot cocoa, I think I would have back slapped that guy selling those cds or sprayed a hefty amount of my mace in his face and then stepped on his cds so he couldn't sell them. Lil Wayne is quite ugly and he seems to get uglier and uglier each day, so it's odd for him to act like that, must be the cough syrup he had been drinking.

As long as your lightening for yourself and what makes you happy that't what matters.

EggoMini did you see any memorials or anything about Josephine Baker over there in France?

Welcome, Bienvenue & salut HC!!

I hope you're lightening for yourself only. Unfortunately, calling someone dark or black is a common ignorant insult here.

if I had a beautiful even-toned dark skin I surely would not mess with it over some random moron's outburst. Best of luck whatever you decide!

& I know all about those hard looks too. Mon mari, il est Francais et aussi blanc!

Bonjour EggoMini,

I know it's weird, but sometimes I just can't help and wish I was a little bit more on the brown side... And this started when I came in the States, I probably shouldn't feel that way I guess... :confused:

Welcome Hot Cocoa. I would love to be one even shade of glowing chocolate myself, but just be lucky you have a wonderful man that never ceases to remind you how beautiful you are, and be lucky you are not 10 million shades of brown, but one even shade of hot cocoa! Lol

Bonjour EggoMini,

I know it's weird, but sometimes I just can't help and wish I was a little bit more on the brown side... And this started when I came in the States, I probably shouldn't feel that way I guess... :confused:

After living in both countries, I can attest to the difference in attitudes, colorism, racism, & the way men and women relate to each other.

I don't want to bash the US (& I'm generalizing) but this is an extra racist, extra colorist, and extra ageist place. The ideal for many is tight, light & preferably white.

Simply, I feel prettier in France. It's not that (esp. at my age) my self-esteem comes from what others think of me but I miss the energy, appreciative looks, light flirts, men giving you 'the look' etc. Yes, I'm married and faithful but I'm being honest.:p

Here I feel invisible at times & I'm the same person! My style hasn't changed & in fact I've lost weight! I've been back and forth several times and I know from first-hand experience that there's a difference.

It isn't you HC, it is this place! In fact, in college, of my professors was a single French white woman & I remember her complaining about the dating & social scene with Americans.

Again, I generalize because there are many intelligent sophisticated Americans too but on the whole.. yikes.. I cannot wait to move back! LOL! I also like that older women are still considered attractive & vital there too.

Welcome Hot Cocoa. I would love to be one even shade of glowing chocolate myself, but just be lucky you have a wonderful man that never ceases to remind you how beautiful you are, and be lucky you are not 10 million shades of brown, but one even shade of hot cocoa! lol

Thanks. And you are absolutely right about not having many shades... Maybe I should just stick to that... http://i659.photobucket.com/albums/uu317/HotCocoa_Album/HOTCOCOA.jpg?t=1256523765

But I would really like to be like http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm15/mxhillxdurr/idols/Gabrielle.jpg

After living in both countries, I can attest to the difference in attitudes, colorism, racism, & the way men and women relate to each other.

I don't want to bash the US (& I'm generalizing) but this is an extra racist, extra colorist, and extra ageist place. The ideal for many is tight, light & preferably white.

Simply, I feel prettier in France. It's not that (esp. at my age) my self-esteem comes from what others think of me but I miss the energy, appreciative looks, light flirts, men giving you 'the look' etc. Yes, I'm married and faithful but I'm being honest.:p

Here I feel invisible at times & I'm the same person! My style hasn't changed & in fact I've lost weight! I've been back and forth several times and I know from first-hand experience that there's a difference.

It isn't you HC, it is this place! In fact, in college, of my professors was a single French white woman & I remember her complaining about the dating & social scene with Americans.

Again, I generalize because there are many intelligent sophisticated Americans too but on the whole..yikes..I cannot wait to move back! LOL! I also like that older women are still considered attractive & vital there too.

EggoMini,

Tu as raison, you are soooo right. As I said, it's since I came here that I want to be lighter... But I am not blaming it on the society here as I would really want to see if being lighter will add something:rolleyes:, don't know

I was tired of being called black (they were referring to my skin, not my race lol) and not being able to be seen at night lol. When I used bio claire I was light as hell but people were so mean and asked so many questions but I did receive a lot of attention from males lol. I remember that day I was in AE an I walked pass the mirror and seen a light brown skinned diva I was like OMG that was when I knew Bio Cliare was working lol I swear I was in the mirror staring at myself lol. Well I stopped using it an I'm no where near as dark as I use to be although the results faded quick but I'm going back to bio claire lol it should arrive this week I'm excited lol

Before you start lightening Hot Cocoa make sure you are aware of all the risks and each part of your body may not lighten all at once; it is an ongoing process and can be discouraging at times, so just make sure you are one thousand percent sure so you will not have any regrets down the line, and by the way you are beautiful so if it isn't broke...

EggoMini,

Tu as raison, you are soooo right. As I said, it's since I came here that I want to be lighter... But I am not blaming it on the society here as I would really want to see if being lighter will add something:rolleyes:, dunno

LOL! Of course it's ultimately your choice, I just wanted to add my 2cents and experience. It's like you can never be too white here.. . Even many European-American women overwhelmingly want to be blondes - whether it suits them or not.:p

It can be cool to try something new but it's good to know your motivation, know about the risks if any etc.

I think G.U. has a great look & so does the gorgeous girl in the photo above!;)

C'est vraiment ton choix. Ciao A+!

I lightened my skin because I was very dark and many people teased me that I'm too dark, they refer to me as 'bleak' in secondary school. I also noticed that those with lighter complexion got more attention than darker ones

Well for myself, I am of Hispanic ethnicity, but I am of African descent.. (if you are confused right now... remember Hispanic is an ethnicity not a race.. ) The majority of Africans broght during the middle passage were sent to The caribbean and S. Amrica.. not N. America...

Anyway... I am a Black Puerto Rican. And have always mostly Identified with African Americans.. and I must say quite proudly... My mom is even dare I say hyper afrocentric.. and identifies with Africa far more than even Puerto Rico.. it's not in any denial it's just I am third generation born in the USA.. and so even my mom was born here...

Like BrownD, I was always told how pretyy my brown skin was as a child... by everyone... and I never thought about it until the end of high school.. I always went to school with Black people... so I noticed that light girls got attention.. but it was never really a big thing because everyone pretyy much had the same cutlture... I was the exception sometimes because I did speak another language, and could cook puerto rican food which made me very popular with the guys even more so than the light skin girls..

It wasn't until I moved to NYC and lived for a while with family memebers in a Puerto Rican community that I noticed any problem. I hung around my cousin who was fair skinned and I noticed that many times people wouldn't think we were related and would ask her in spanish why she was hanging around with a "moya".. (derrogatory term for a black girl in spanglish)... because they assumed I didn't speak spanish... or they would invite her to parties and say "don't bring your black ugly cousin," which bugged me out because I'm far from ugly... and not even super black.. which I don't say in a bad way.. but I'm like Gabrielle Union's complexion.. and my hair is long and curly like Rachel True.. or Mel B... but anyway.. so you can imagine what this does to an adolescent...

Anyway... I was always the last asked out by any of the guys in my neighborhood... and I just started hanging out with the Black people in my neighboorhood again and basically just left out even being Puerto Rican and I did okay until I went to college.

I got a scholarship to go to Spain to study art and architecture... and Spain was the most racist country I'd have to say in the world that I've been to thus far... I actually had eggs thrown at me one day while I was walking down the street as the culprits yelled "Go back to Africa Nigger!!" not to mention being spit on, denied entry to establishments, and asked to leave a store in a mall by security because "A black girl stole from the store two days before"... but this didn't make me want to lighten.. I just wanted to leave Spain.. LOL and so I did after 16 long months...

I always thought life would have been easier if I had light skin.. but I never even fathomed that people were doing this and never imagined that I could or ever would.. the only example that I had ever heard of was Michael Jackson.. and I never wanted to look like him...

In Fact in spite of all of the hatred I still liked my skin and I felt it was a huge contradiction in society that the people who always stopped me on the street to tell me how beautiful I was were always old white ladies... who actually wanted to touch my face because it was "so smooth and clear". Little did they know that in my own community I was the girl no one dated unless you had a "thing" for black girls.

It's sad becaue it seems everyone can find someone beautiful even if they are not your "preference" but there is a seemed line drawn for Black girls... many people just skip over us when even considering beauty.. in spite of the numbers of balck super models and superstars who are considred beautiful.. it's like they are removed from practical.. "real' Black people.. and just appreciated as individuals... because the same guys that will say Beyonce, or Tyra, or even naomi Campbell are beautiful would in the same breath say that they do not find Black girls pretty or atractive).... but none of this made me consider lightening.. it was actually for a practical reason much more than a beauty reason.

What made me decide to lighten was after I came back from spain and I went to the military... I got a nasty farmer's tan that was so stark a difference that it looked like I had dipped my arms in dye.. and it lasted for years even after I got out of the service... I cruised the net and researched products and decided to use Kojic acid and arbutin to lighten back to my original coulur... it was successful and so therefore I fell off the skin lightening forums and boards....

Thinking life was bliss, so long as I avoided puerto Ricans and Spaniards.. I graduated, went to a Black university in another state and I stayed out my days in my Black safe haven and remained as a happy Black girl who spoke spanish and coould cook the heck out of some rice and beans!!

So WHY AM I BACK?

Well as I guess I can't just leave well enough alone LOL.. I must be a masochist... I converted to Islam.. (Long stoory I didn't plan it).. and where I live tha majority of the Muslims here are either Arab, Desi, or Somali (Somalis and many Africans usually keep very close to their own kind even to their own tribes)....

Arabs and Desis are super racist.. (I'm not trying to insult anyone.. please forgive me but I have my reasons for saying this..) All of the Arab and Desi older "aunties" loved me and always treated me well , are quick to cook for me or give me things or be super motherly, but let it come down to if I ever wanted to marry one of their sons.. forget it,.. they do not want "dark skinned" grandchildren.. and not to mention that even if there were any "Auntie" that decided to play match maker the guys them selves are even cruelly insistent that they do not want a black girl.. even bold enough to tell me to my face or say that "they do not find black girls attractive".. (A simple "I'm not interested" would have sufficed not to mention religiously we are not supposed to think and act like that) and more bold to then ask me that since I am a convert if I could hook them up with any white girls i may know or meet who converted... even to the point that looks or weight do not matter... an arab guy I know at the mosque actually married a girl who is almost mentally retarded.. (literally she is slow I'm not just being mean or hating it's a medical fact and the community knows it.. she is not to the point of incompetence... but she is indeed impaired).... who weighed 370lbs because she had blonde hair and blue eyes...

Well the long and short of it is.... many of the Muslims I've, seen the determining factor for race is as simple as complexion... not even features or hair because many arabs have super nappy hair...and many Desi have broad features.... so I wanna lightne up to a complexion that is considered more universally "acceptable" as not to be considered ugly and unmarriable.... which again is the stark contradiction of my past reliving itself because now even more than ever people stop me on the street to say how beautiful I am and admire my glowing complexion... even whe I went to a cosmetic dermatologist for a consult to find out about skin lightening.. the entire staff commented on how nice my skin was.. and was surpirsed to find out I was there at all for any problem...

But anyway if I were a more "standard" universal tone... light a tan or light brown, then maybe there wouldn't be such hassle and insult.

To Boricua1:

Your story is truly remarkable, I mean you faced mental oppression in your own community only to face it again in your newfound religion? I don't even want to bring up the topic of religion but seriously if your religion is so outwardly closed-minded, then what are they preaching in church? But this is what I said to someone else, I think it was BrownDeceit, but I understand you lightening for social acceptance in your community, but if you lighten for marital reasons, then I hope you find a way to maintain for the rest of your life, or better yet find that one gem that will appreciate your color (light or dark), or even better yet, change religions! (ok that was a joke), but don't you think your children will come out a mixture of your tone and your husbands? As long as lightening makes you happy inside, cool, but to the story about the mentally retarded 300+ pound white woman? Wow!

Wow Boricua, I really identify with parts of your story! I kicked my religious community to the curb for very similar reasons (always being among the last considered on the marriage market, left in the reject pile & I am hardly a broken toy.. lol!).

Amazing!

I finally married 'out' (racially and religiously). I truly thought (from what I've learned so far) Islam would be a bit better but I guess the ignorance is universal.:(

Have you considered marrying a European or White American revert-convert? My husband is one but I'm not Muslim. They don't seem to have the colorism issues that many brown Muslims do. I've also met some Moroccan Muslims who have married brown and dark-skinned people.

Yeah I really think it's "those muslims" that you were dealing with I know racism is everywhere an religion has nothing to do with it, we don't really understand what we are taught, I am a christian and I have seen racism among the white's who come as missionaries. I just think the "white standard"of beauty has impacted every culture and their way of thinking. You know the funny thing is that you are probably prettier than any of the women you just talked about, but what people see when they are small minded and mentally enslaved, is what the society has taught them to understand it's acceptable even if it's not pretty. I loved your story and I know that what is considered beautiful is very relative to the surroundings, there are some parts of the world that if you go to with your puerto rican back ground, hair, and even the dark skin you will basically be bigger than halle, I sure you have learned a lot from your experience.

Well for myself, I am of Hispanic ethnicity, but I am of African descent.. (if you are confused right now... remember Hispanic is an ethnicity not a race..) The majority of Africans broght during the middle passage were sent to The caribbean and S. Amrica.. not N. America...

Anyways... I am a Black Puerto Rican. and have always mostly Identified with African Americans.. and I must say quite proudly... My mom is even dare I say hyper afrocentric.. and identifies with Africa far more than even Puerto Rico.. it's not in any denial it's just I am thrid generation born in the USA.. and so even my mom was born here...

Like BrownD, I was always told how pretyy my brown skin was as a child... by everyone... and I never thought about it until the end of high school.. I always went to school with Black people... so I noticed that light girls got attention.. but it was never really a big thing because everyone pretyy much had the same cutlture... I was the exception sometimes becasue I did speak another language, and could cook puerto rican food which made me very popular with the guys even more so than the light skin girls..

it wasn't until I moved to NYC and lived for a while with family memebers in a Puerto Rican community that i noticed any problem. I hung around my cousin who was fair skinned and I noticed that many times people wouldn't think we were related and would ask her in spanish why she was hanging around with a "moya".. (derrogatory term for a black girl in spanglish)... because they assumed I didn't speak spanish.... or they would invite her to parties and say "don't bring your black ugly cousin," which bugged me out because I'm far from ugly... and not even super black.. which I don't say in a bad way.. but I'm like Gabrielle Union's complexion.. and my hair is long and curly like Rachel True.. or Mel B... but anyway.. so you can imagine what this does to an adolescent...

Anyways... I was always the last asked out by any of the guys in my neighborhood... and I just started hanging out with the Black people in my neighboorhood again and basically just left out even being Puerto Rican and I did okay until I went to college.

I got a scholarship to go to Spain to study art and architecture... and Spain was the most racist country I'd have to say in the world that i've been to thus far... I actually had eggs thrown at me one day while I was walking down the street as the culprits yelled "Go back to Africa Nigger!!" not to mention being spit on, denied entry to establishments, and asked to leave a store in a mall by security because "A black girl stole from the store two days before"... but this didn't make me want to lighten.. I just wanted to leave Spain.. LOL and so I did after 16 long months...

I always thought life would have been easier if I had light skin.. but I never even fathomed that people were doing this and never imagined that I could or ever would.. the only example that I had ever heard of was Michael Jackson.. and I never wanted to look like him...

In Fact in spite of all of the hatred I still liked my skin and I felt it was a huge contradiction in society that the people who always stopped me on the street to tell me how beautiful I was were always old white ladies... who actually wanted to touch my face because it was "so smooth and clear". little did they know that in my own community I was the girl noone dated unless you had a "thing" for black girls.

It's sad becaue it seems everyone can find someone beautiful even if they are not your "preference" but there is a seemed line drawn for Black girls... many people just skip over us when even considering beauty.. in spite of the numbers of balck super models and superstars who are considred beautiful.. it's like they are removed from practical.. "real' Black people.. and just appreciated as individuals... because the same guys that will say Beyonce, or Tyra, or even naomi Campbell are beautiful would in the same breath say that they do not find Black girls pretty or atractive).... but none of this made me consider lightening.. it was actually for a practical reason much more than a beauty reason.

What made me decide to lighten was after I came back from spain and I went to the military... I got a nasty farmer's tan that was so stark a difference that it looked like I had dipped my arms in dye.. and it lasted for years even after I got out of the service... I cruised the net and researched products and decided to use Kojic acid and arbutin to lighten back to my original coulur... it was successful and so therefore I fell off the skin lightening forums and boards....

Thinking life was bliss, so long as I avoided puerto Ricans and Spaniards.. I graduated, went to a Black university in another state and I stayed out my days in my Black safe haven and remained as a happy Black girl who spoke spanish and coould cook the heck out of some rice and beans!!

So WHY AM I BACK?

Well as I guess I can't just leave well enough alone LOL.. I must be a masochist... I converted to Islam.. (Long stoory I didn't plan it).. and where I live tha majority of the Muslims here are either Arab, Desi, or Somali (Somalis and many Africans usually keep very close to their own kind even to their own tribes)....

Arabs and Desis are super racist.. (I'm not trying to insult anyone.. please forgive me but I have my reasons for saying this..) All of the Arab and Desi older "aunties" loved me and always treated me well , are quick to cook for me or give me things or be super motherly, but let it come down to if I ever wanted to marry one of their sons.. forget it,.. they do not want "dark skinned" grandchildren.. and not to mention that even if there were any "Auntie" that decided to play match maker the guys them selves are even cruelly insistent that they do not want a black girl.. even bold enough to tell me to my face or say that "they do not find black girls attractive".. (A simple "I'm not interested" would have sufficed not to mention religiously we are not supposed to think and act like that) and more bold to then ask me that since I am a convert if I could hook them up with any white girls i may know or meet who converted... even to the point that looks or weight do not matter... an arab guy I know at the mosque actually married a girl who is almost mentally retarded.. (literally she is slow I'm not just being mean or hating it's a medical fact and the community knows it.. she is not to the point of incompetence... but she is indeed impaired).... who weighed 370lbs because she had blonde hair and blue eyes...

Well the long and short of it is.... many of the Muslims I've, seen the determining factor for race is as simple as complexion... not even features or hair because many arabs have super nappy hair...and many Desi have broad features.... so I wanna lightne up to a complexion that is considered more universally "acceptable" as not to be considered ugly and unmarriable.... which again is the stark contradiction of my past reliving itself because now even more than ever people stop me on the street to say how beautiful I am and admire my glowing complexion... even whe I went to a cosmetic dermatologist for a consult to find out about skin lightening.. the entire staff commented on how nice my skin was.. and was surpirsed to find out I was there at all for any problem...

But anyway if I were a more "standard" universal tone... light a tan or light brown, then maybe there wouldn't be such hassle and insult.

Hi Boricua1,

Your story is really touching and I know for a fact that Arabs are really racist towards black people as I spent half of my childhood in Tunis and have been to Morocco. However, there are stupid and ignorant people in all religions... Christiand missionaries were among the first to come to Africa and declare that African/Blacks were inferior to Whites and this was written in the Bible :mad: Anyway, I am sure you are beautiful and hope that a true Muslim believer will see past your skin color and see how worthy you are! As for Hispanics, tell me something!! I live in LA and work with some latinos. In my office one girl in particular used derogatory words about me in my back; I confonted her and showed her that I am not the type of girl she would want to mess with :D

Take care Dear

LOL! Of course it's ultimately your choice, I just wanted to add my 2cents and experience. It's like you can never be too white here. ...Even many European-American women overwhelmingly want to be blondes - whether it suits them or not.:p

It can be cool to try something new but it's good to know your motivation, know about the risks if any etc.

I think G.U. has a great look & so does the gorgeous girl in the photo above!;)

C'est vraiment ton choix. ciao A+!

EggoMini,

Merci beaucoup! The girl above is actually me ;)

Wow you all are so sweet I appreciate everyone's words of encouragement... I am definitely looking for that person who will not judge my colour so long as I keep myself open and keep faith I have nothing to fear nor grieve about. I am also working on finding a new community to be around with people who aren't so closed minded.. it's a task of course... lol...

I'm still want to work on my lightening even though I know that the other people are the ignorant ones and the ones with the problem... sometimes you got to play into the standards of others... (it's like BrownD said so beautifully... about being unhappy and right) but don't worry... I know that there is a limit.. lol.. I am not going to try and change eveything about myself to suit others...

I just wanted to add a thought that I had too... I think that sometimes skin lightening also is a bit fascinating to p[eople because it's like a make over too... it's a change like any other and we as human beings like to re-invent ourselves through change especially change that is manifested physically... heck many of us would grow taller if we could or shrink, lose weight when we can or gain.. so it seems only natural no matter what your color to want to change it around a bit... some brown.. some whiten... lol..

Wow Boricua, I really identify with parts of your story!! I kicked my religious community to the curb for very similar reasons (always being among the last considered on the marriage market, left in the reject pile & I am hardly a broken toy..lol!).

Amazing!

I finally married 'out' (racially and religiously). I truly thought (from what I've learned so far) Islam would be a bit better but I guess the ignorance is universal.:(

Have you considered marrying a European or White American revert-convert? My husband is one but I'm not Muslim. They don't seem to have the colorism issues that many brown Muslims do. I've also met some Moroccan Muslims who have married brown and dark-skinned people.

I defintely appreciate your advice... I am considering all people:) I wish that Muslim girls had the same deal as the guys in that we could marry from any religion might make things easier.. you know expanding the market lol... but what you say is true... Euro and American reverts usually have far fewer complexes with colour...

Wow you all are so sweet I appreciate everyone's words of encouragement... I am definitely looking for that person who will not judge my colour so long as I keep myself open and keep faith I have nothing to fear nor grieve about. I am also working on finding a new community to be around with people who aren't so closed minded.. it's a task of course...... lol...

I'm still want to work on my lightening even though I know that the other people are the ignorant ones and the ones with the problem... sometimes you gotta play into the standards of others... (it's like BrownD said so beautifully... about being unhappy and right) but don't worry... I know that there is a limit.. lol.. I am not going to try and change eveything about myself to suit others...

I just wanted to add a thought that I had too.... I think that sometimes skin lightening also is a bit fascinating to p[eople because it's like a make over too... it's a change like any other and we as human beings like to re-invent ourselves through change especially change that is manifested physically... heck many of us would grow taller if we could or shrink, lose weight when we can or gain.. so it seems only natural no matter what your color to want to change it around a bit... some brown.. some whiten... lol..



I totally agree on the "makeover" concept. A lot of us need these makeovers to even out all over and just be 1 consistent color.

Boricua your story was touching and I can relate with some of the parts similarly to what happened to me too. I am a muslim convert and 1/2 ethiopian. When I began to study islam, the religion is supposed to be about peace and equality, but unfortunately many of the arab people are not and do not follow the religion as they should. I had soon realized that many arabs can be so racist and they would be judged for that anyway as that is not halal. It did really bother me as it's bad enough how many of the black men in the U.S. would not even consider being with a black woman unless she is much fairer than them. So, I am open to marrying someone outside of my race and who would not judge me on my skin color and who is religiously insync with me as well. I truly hate being around closed minded people as I consider them to be deeply ignorant. I got so tiered of people coming up to me telling me how my big sister is the pretty one because of her eyes and complexion and how I'm the ugly one because I was much darker than her. Other than that we look almost identical with our features so this perplexed me. And we have a close relationship and discuss some of these things, but our worlds are completely different and I know she is unable to really relate because of our experiences.

On a another note, I would love to taste puerto rican food as I heard it was gooood. You'll have to send me some recipes.

Golen Girl you are so strong. I know I've told you before. But I couldn't imagine growing up with a sibling fairer than me. A sister at that. People are so rude with their comments, and don't know how their words can impact young children.

Thanks brown. When I was a kid I didn't think of it much. But, as I grew older and exposed to more it made me question a lot. I hated when people asked me "so what happened to you?" and "is one of you adopted?" My sis is a kind person and she always said that I was beautiful, but inside I would only question the validity of her comments as she made sure her daughter wouldn't end up with my tone, dated only and married someone only Caucasian. Now her daughter is stuck up and have said rude comments about darker women in front of me. My first reaction is to debate, but I don't want any bad blood so I pass.

... You are kidding. Her daughter is stuck up and says rude comments about dark women? IN-FRONT-OF-YOU? Does your sister tell her to stop it? Oh goodness. I could not deal with that. My first reaction would be to backhand the child. Sorry you have to deal with that!

..........You are kidding. Her daughter is stuck up and says rude comments about dark women? IN-FRONT-OF-YOU? Does your sister tell her to stop it? Oh goodness. I could not deal with that. My first reaction would be to backhand the child. Sorry you have to deal with that!

No, my sis said nothing. I wanted to back hand her too and I could feel an argument prepairing to come out my mouth and I knew I was going to say some even more hurtful things to her in return. Because I know how I can get and can sometimes have a bad temper, niece or no niece (she was about 15). But, they live in Cali and I was visiting only because my sis was having another baby. So I tried to keep reminding myself that I was leaving Cali within a week and some people are just ignorant and stupid. My sis is coming down next month and she has only seen the photos on my Facebook from early this year when I was several shades lighter. Now I'm like rushing to get some of the results back or she'll think I photoshopped the picts or something... lol

Not to offend anyone but I hear America is really racist, I live in Canada there isn't that much racism like out in the open between other races sometimes its "coded" were definitely cool with gays etc I'm bi racial (Black & Oriental) I've realized within the black community here the men have a self hating thing going on, all they talk about is light skin this light skin that and a LOT only want to date girls that are of other races if black she has to be "light skin" the funny thing is they aren't even light skin themselves, anyway I started to lighten my skin honestly because of how black men treated me.

One time me and 2 friends were out 1 was about a shade lighter then alicia keys and not good looking rotten attitude pimples, stomach bigger then her boobs etc. the other was about nicole scherzingers color very snobby flat everywhere and some guy came over and said "hey my friends over there want to holler at you" pointed at my two friends right in front of me and said "Just you and you" he was about kelly rowlands color as well, I remember sitting in the lunch room and I heard two black guys talking in front of me one said about a girl across the room "dark skin girls shouldnt wear fish nets you can't see anything thats only for light skin girls" As soon as I would walk into a store they would follow me like they are my shadow while my lighter friend nothing, both a friend and I applied for a job at a clothes store that just opened that was "hiring" she had NO experience on her resume and I had 2 years experience she gets the job I go to visit her and ask them if they are still hiring she says yes and yells out and asks the manager "are we still hiring?" the manager at first said yes then said "hold on" then came all the way to the back where we were looked at me and said "No".

Im tired of Canada acting like there is no racism going on in this country almost every store only hires there own race,even if I have experience I can't get a job because I'm not the same race as the workers.Not even any point in trying.

High school was the absolute worst experience in LIFE so bad my mom took me out and made me do home schooling.The teachers were racist, one teacher I remember her putting all hispanics, blacks(if you were dark) straight to the back she even said to one student "i would love to hang you with a noose" of course she kept her job even after complaining , I once knocked on a door(@ school) with a dark friend to get something from a friend who is black but very light & looks another race the teacher out of nowhere angrily comes and slams the door right in my face along with my friend then the teacher yells out loud "be careful of the kind of friends you make".

Another time when I was about 10 at a friends birthday party one of my friends mother was there to pick her up since it was dark outside they asked her to give me a ride home since she lives 5 minutes away from me her mom said "No its dark outside nobody is going to see her", Another friend invited me to her birthday party along with other friends her aunt looked at me and said to her "Next time make sure you tell me what kind of people you invite",

Hmmm the list goes on what story should I tell next,

When I was about 11 I think I was at a friends house who was Oriental along with my friend who is bi racial(black and white) but was VERY light we were all having fun as soon as her father came home no hi nothing he calls her in the bedroom she comes out and tells me "Sorry you have to go because my dad doesnt like you kind of people __ can stay tho",

One time me & my mother were in our car a old white man parked up beside us and just kept waiting in his car he unlocked his door to come out and we unlocked our as well as soon as he saw us coming out he locked his door so fast and waiting until we were all the way in the store before he came out,

My lighter cousins were treated like royalty and called beautiful while I was always made fun of by my aunts & cousins they were treated like what they were kids and I was treated and spoken to like a adult or further more a stray dog. I guess a lot comes from my "child hood":/ also in music videos everyone is light all of the black singers that make it in the music industry are always light the dark ones never have a big career being darker skinned is always looked at as not attractive.

Since I have lightened my skin with HQ from Gabriel Unions color to literally Nicole scherzinger's or Tyra Banks a lot of men usually Hispanic,white, or Filipino men approach me a lot now, even black men try to talk to me and I won't give them the light of day. I really try not to judge all black men because I know all aren't like that but honestly its really hard because of the past.All the black men in my neighborhood have 200lbs+ white girlfriends walking around with bi racial babies yup I said it I'm sorry if I offend anyone. Ive also noticed I get treated a lot differently people walk pass and say your so beautiful they always smile I have no problem inside stores now my aunts & cousins try to be all nice to me saying your hair is so nice and long you have a nice nose and nice eyes (um? Last time I checked I had all these things while I was darker) I cut them out of my life because of how mean they were to me I don't even go to any family dinners or anything. I guess in the end I'm happy but just need to get over the past.

Sorry for such long and boring stories:)

Wow Tai. That's crazy. I can't believe your family treated you that way and that openly. And yep. It's funny how once you're lighter everyone thinks you're beautiful... It's like "Ummm. I look EXACTLY the same as before. My skin is just lighter now." And half the time, they are so brainwashed that they don't even realize that they like you more because you're lighter. But from Gabrielle Union's complexion to Nicoles? My goodness! What were/are you using? That's a very dramatic difference, I congratulate you on your results, many people would LOVE to achieve those results. I must ask you though. Didn't you get a lot of questions with such a dramatic change in color? How did you deal with it? And it is very annoying. All of the singers that become really famous are never dark skinned. I can't stand it. This society is so sick and twisted. It's like black women especially dark skinned black women are set up to be looked at as ugly unless they are a black woman who doesn't necessarily look like a black woman. Whether it be hair, facial features, or skin color that sets them apart from the rest. It's so sad. And very disheartening. But we have to adapt and make the best of our situations. Even if that does include being wrong and being happy. :)

No, my sis said nothing. I wanted to back hand her too and I could feel an argument prepairing to come out my mouth and I knew I was going to say some even more hurtful things to her in return. because I know how I can get and can sometimes have a bad temper, niece or no niece (she was about 15). but, they live in Cali and I was visiting only b/c my sis was having another baby. so I tried to keep reminding myself that I was leaving Cali within a week and some people are just ignorant and stupid. My sis is coming down next month and she has only seen the photos on my facebook from early this year when I was several shades lighter. Now I'm like rushing to get some of the results back or she'll think I photoshopped the picts or something...lol

I literally fear going to California. Only because there are so many light skinned and mixed girls there that are constantly getting praised. I'm so afraid I'll just simply get overlooked. :( I know my skin is lighter now and I like the pretty bronze caramel color, but some people especially people over there won't date you unless you're like Beyonce or Alicia Keys light! And 15? She could have handled a comment or two. Who cares. She wants to throw fire, she can get hit with it then too. But I must commend you on controlling your temper. And that's kind of funny. My mother's cousin (my mom is really close with her), always tries to hurry and lighten her skin before we go back to Sierra Leone every summer. It kind of reminds me of that. But yeah wouldn't want her to think you photoshopped the pics! That'd be embarrassing!

Tai18 your story really touched me and I am glad you have a happy ending to your story with successful lightening and now you can say eff all the haters. I know I would!

Omg! I'm so shocked at what I'm reading! Where are you guys from?? I live in Maryland and people only called me black (refering to skin) when they were mad at me or joking with me but I never had a problem getting a boyfriend. I know the black guys here are attracted to girls with nice bodies and who can dress well, they don't really pay attention to skin tone. But lightskinned girls can be rude es! Now this happened last month lol... my friend is gorgeous, lightskinned long pretty hair and big brown eyes and she introduced me to her new boyfriend who was very light. We walked arounf the mall and I walked behind them because I didn't want to be the third wheel lol they were flirting and hitting each other like loverbirds but I noticed he kept looking back at me. He finally looked at me and said why are you so quiet walk up here with us lol I started smiling. To make a long story short the 5th time we seen each other we exchanged numbers, I text him that night and he told me how bad he wanted me I was like omg what does he want with my black lol he told me he was actracted to me because I'm pretty and I can dress well and I keep my hair looking nice. He broke up with my friend and she found out about me. On her Facebook it says and I quote " he left me for that black monkey cotton pickin tramp. She wish she had a complexion like mines. I'm not even tripping nomore because I know there's plenty of guys out here that would die for a redbone" the funny thing is I didn't even like him and wanted to keep my friendship but after I read that, I was over it. It seems like a lot of lightskinned men are dating darkskinned girls and darkskinned men are dating darkskinned girks! I see it here and in hollywood.

I literally fear going to California. Only because there are so many light skinned and mixed girls there that are constantly getting praised. I'm so afraid I'll just simply get overlooked. :( I know my skin is lighter now and I like the pretty bronze caramel color, but some people especially people over there won't date you unless you're like Beyonce or Alicia Keys light! And 15? She could have handled a comment or two. Who cares. She wants to throw fire, she can get hit with it then too. But I must commend you on controlling your temper. And that's kind of funny. My mother's cousin (my mom is really close with her), always tries to hurry up and lighten her skin before we go back to Sierra Leone every summer. It kind of reminds me of that. But yeah wouldn't want her to think you photoshopped the pics! That'd be embarrassing!

Brown if I you like the men in NY I'm sure you would hate the men here. Trust me, you're better off. Yes there are many mixed races here and light women that it is hard to tell who is what anymore. Honestly and sadly it's a relief for me whenever I see a black person as dark skinned people are so rare here in my area.

OMG WEEZING! There would have been a MURDER if I would have read something like that about me on someone's Facebook! You are such a lady, seriously. I guess she forgot that her ancestors were the same "cotton picking monkeys" she speaks of. How sad. Feel sorry for her ignorance because in her mind her ignorance is bliss. Feel sorry for her AND pray fore the Child. Sad. I'm seriously shaking my head at this, and to blast her mental dwarfness on Facebook? How embarrassing for her.

Weezing I know the men in Maryland are a little more lenient with the whole color thing, but I get scared of Maryland men because most of the ones I've met are so Metro that it's like a competition between me and them. I have to be cuter than my b/f, sorry!

I literally fear going to California. Only because there are so many light skinned and mixed girls there that are constantly getting praised. I'm so afraid I'll just simply get overlooked. :( I know my skin is lighter now and I like the pretty bronze caramel color, but some people especially people over there won't date you unless you're like Beyonce or Alicia Keys light! And 15? She could have handled a comment or two. Who cares. She wants to throw fire, she can get hit with it then too. But I must commend you on controlling your temper. And that's kind of funny. My mother's cousin (my mom is really close with her), always tries to hurry up and lighten her skin before we go back to Sierra Leone every summer. It kind of reminds me of that. But yeah wouldn't want her to think you photoshopped the pics! That'd be embarrassing!

I am from California, nobody really cares how light or dark you are. Unless you plan on going to Hollywood and becoming an actress its irrelevant... with anything there are extremes, a person who was the color of milk would get just as much flack as person who was the color of coal.

I am from California, nobody really cares how light or dark you are. Unless you plan on going to Hollywood and becoming an actress its irrelevent....with anything there are extremes, a person who was the color of milk would get just as much flack as person who was the color of coal.


Dessaml what part are you in? I am in SoCal

Weezing I know the men in Maryland are a little more lenient with the whole color thing, but I get scared of Maryland men because most of the ones I've met are so Metro that it's like a competition between me and them. I have to be cuter than my b/f, sorry!

Lol yea. I'm from Maryland and the men here are metro.LOL.. I literally compete with my boyfriend about who dresses better when we go out smh lol

Omg! I'm so shocked at what I'm reading! where are you guys from???I live in Maryland and people only called me black (refering to skin) when they were mad at me or joking with me but I never had a problem getting a boyfriend. I know the black guys here are attracted to girls with nice bodies and who can dress well, they don't really pay attention to skin tone. But lightskinned girls can be rude es! Now this happened last month lol...my friend is gorgeous, lightskinned long pretty hair and big brown eyes and she introduced me to her new boyfriend who was very light. We walked arounf the mall and I walked behind them because I didn't want to be the third wheel lol they were flirting and hitting eachother like loverbirds but I noticed he kept looking back at me. He finally looked at me and said why are you so quiet walk up here with us lol I started smiling. To make a long story short the 5th time we seen eachother we exchanged numbers, I text him that night and he told me how bad he wanted me I was like omg what does he want with my black lol he told me he was actracted to me because I'm pretty and I can dress well and I keep my hair looking nice. He broke up with my friend and she found out about me. On her facebook it says and I quote " he left me for that black monkey cotton pickin tramp. She wish she had a complexion like mines. I'm not even tripping nomore because I know there's plenty of guys out here that would die for a redbone" the funny thing is I didn't even like him and wanted to keep my friendship but after I read that, I was over it. It seems like a lot of lightskinned men are dating darkskinned girls and darkskinned men are dating darkskinned girks! I see it here and in hollywood.

Wow I'm so sorry u had to go through that. Some girls are just ignorant

Not to offend anyone but i hear America is really racist, i live in Canada there isnt that much racism like out in the open between other races sometimes its "coded" were definitely cool with gays etc im bi racial (Black & Oriental) ive realized within the black community here the men have a self hating thing going on, all they talk about is light skin this light skin that and a LOT only want to date girls that are of other races if black she has to be "light skin" the funny thing is they arent even light skin themselves, anyway i started to lighten my skin honestly because of how black men treated me.

One time me and 2 friends were out 1 was about a shade lighter then alicia keys and not good looking rotten attitude pimples, stomach bigger then her boobs etc. the other was about nicole scherzingers color very snobby flat everywhere and some guy came over and said "hey my friends over there want to holler at you" pointed at my two friends right in front of me and said "Just you and you" he was about kelly rowlands color as well, I remember sitting in the lunch room and i heard two black guys talking in front of me one said about a girl across the room "dark skin girls shouldnt wear fish nets you can't see anything thats only for light skin girls" As soon as i would walk into a store they would follow me like they are my shadow while my lighter friend nothing, both a friend and i applied for a job at a clothes store that just opened that was "hiring" she had NO experience on her resume and i had 2 years experience she gets the job i go to visit her and ask them if they are still hiring she says yes and yells out and asks the manager "are we still hiring?" the manager at first said yes then said "hold on" then came all the way to the back where we were looked at me and said "No".

Im tired of Canada acting like there is no racism going on in this country almost every store only hires there own race,even if i have experience i can't get a job because im not the same race as the workers.Not even any point in trying.

High school was the absolute worst experience in LIFE so bad my mom took me out and made me do home schooling.The teachers were racist, one teacher i remember her putting all hispanics, blacks(if you were dark) straight to the back she even said to one student "i would love to hang you with a noose" of course she kept her job even after complaining , I once knocked on a door(@ school) with a dark friend to get something from a friend who is black but very light & looks another race the teacher out of nowhere angrily comes and slams the door right in my face along with my friend then the teacher yells out loud "be careful of the kind of friends you make".

Another time when i was about 10 at a friends birthday party one of my friends mother was there to pick her up since it was dark outside they asked her to give me a ride home since she lives 5 mins away from me her mom said "No its dark outside nobody is going to see her", Another friend invited me to her birthday party along with other friends her aunt looked at me and said to her "Next time make sure you tell me what kind of people you invite",

hmmm the list goes on what story should i tell next,

When i was about 11 i think i was at a friends house who was Oriental along with my friend who is bi racial(black and white) but was VERY light we were all having fun as soon as her father came home no hi nothing he calls her in the bedroom she comes out and tells me "Sorry you have to go because my dad doesnt like you kind of people __ can stay tho",

One time me & my mother were in our car a old white man parked up beside us and just kept waiting in his car he unlocked his door to come out and we unlocked our as well as soon as he saw us coming out he locked his door so fast and waiting until we were all the way in the store before he came out,

My lighter cousins were treated like royalty and called beautiful while i was always made fun of by my aunts & cousins they were treated like what they were kids and i was treated and spoken to like a adult or further more a stray dog. I guess a lot comes from my "child hood":/ also in music videos everyone is light all of the black singers that make it in the music industry are always light the dark ones never have a big career being darker skinned is always looked at as not attractive.

Since i have lightened my skin with HQ from Gabriel Unions color to literally Nicole scherzinger's or Tyra Banks a lot of men usually Hispanic,white, or Filipino men approach me a lot now, even black men try to talk to me and i wont give them the light of day. I really try not to judge all black men because i know all aren't like that but honestly its really hard because of the past.All the black men in my neighborhood have 200lbs+ white girlfriends walking around with bi racial babies yup i said it im sorry if i offend anyone. Ive also noticed i get treated a lot differently people walk pass and say your so beautiful they always smile i have no problem inside stores now my aunts & cousins try to be all nice to me saying your hair is so nice and long you have a nice nose and nice eyes (um? last time i checked i had all these things while i was darker) i cut them out of my life because of how mean they were to me i dont even go to any family dinners or anything. I guess in the end im happy but just need to get over the past.

sorry for such long and boring stories:)

Wow tai18 your story really touched me. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Funny most times its always family that have the nastiest things to say about color. Sometimes without knowing it hurts your feelings. I remember I started bleaching this year and when I found out my younger cousin has been bleaching since she was 13.. I was shocked. My aunt saw me when she came to visit this summer and was shocked to see that I was so fair. She told me to stop bleaching but funny since she has let her own daughter bleach since she was a kid.

People say that there is so much racism in europe but growing up in london I never really experienced it. In 7th grade I thought I was a goddess.LOL. Had a lot of friends and had guys trying to talk to me. In 8th grade I moved to Maryland and I went to a predominantly white school. A lot of the white kids were fascinated by my accent but I realised a lot of them weren't really trying to be my friends. I didn't look like them. The few black kids who went to my school made fun of me for my accent, would whisper things behind my back and make me feel uncomfortable and wouldn't accept me either. Myself confidence went to an all time low. I made a few friiends but I wasn't used to the hate. Even the guys at school wouldn't pay me attention.
Went to high school and had the same problem. Lost my accent but still found it hard. All the cute black guys at my school only talked to the light skinned black girls or the hispanic/white girls. Even my best friend who was indian would see other dark skinned girls and make comments like omg she is so ugly and really dark. It made me wonder how she felt about me. I started bleaching this year when I went to college. Literally three months after I started to bleach, I noticed I was getting a lot of attention from guys and complimented by other girls. Even teachers were friendlier with me. My best friend always says things like you are so pretty and I remember the first time I hung out with my boyfriend, he would always say commments like you are so fair and tell me how he only used to date light skinned girls because they are pretty. Some of the girls who made fun of me in high school and middle school saw me at the mall with my friend and didn't recognize me and were trying to be my friend, complimenting me a lot. I was like wuteva because I am still the same person.. just lighter. I think bleaching gave me a lot of self confidence when I was around other people but I noticed I would still always compare myself to people who were lighter around me. I darkened since the summer since I stopped bleaching for three months and I feel like crap some days. Want the good feeling back. I hate taking pictures unless its around good light and I won't make a facebok till I achieve my complxion so that people don't ask me why I look darker in certain pics lol

Wow. Weezing then it was meant for they guy to talk with you in order to show your "friend's" true colors... that girl is mentally sick for broadcasting mess like that and is definitely a hater. She showed how evil she really was and how she really felt about you all along, but she smacked herself in the face with that one.

Tai that's really sad how family can cause more problems and refuse to acknowledge what they are doing to their own blood. But, in my honest opinion many a.a men are racist against their own and many times it has made me feel physically sick by my senior year in high school. But now, I don't even think twice about them or consider them as men... I know there are a very very limited amount that are not tainted and I was blessed to have brothers that are not that way. But majority are screwed.

It seems like many from the north in the U.S. are more normal and some in Cali as well. I really enjoy visiting Cali though and plan to go hopefully later next year. But in the South it seems many a.a men are braindead or brainless. And I know all lightskinned girls are not that way, although possibly majority are. But, I have had a few very close lightskinned friends who were not braindead and shallow. But, those in society are conditioned to think their gas don't stink and are placed on a pedestal. And those who are very dark seemed to be treated the worse by their own.

Okay so I've been talking to this new guy. And he is very attractive. Probably one of the most attractive guys I've ever spoken to. I've been trying to tell myself that he likes me for me, and it's beyond how I look and my skin complexion. But... Anyway. So everything is going fine. He's in my dorm room hanging out. Then he says something crazy. He was like "Yeah people with better hair are on a different level than people with nappy hair"... I was like... "? You're so ignorant. Get out of my room." And I kicked him out of my room. I think he thinks my hair is naturally curly and long, but it's a weave. Then he came back like an hour and a half later and apologized and everything was fine. We hung out and just talked for like another 4 hours. And he was so sweet. And he was talking about how he told his friends that I was a 9/10 and that I was gorgeous. And we were just talking about all types of things. And for the most part it was good. BUT like two or three times he said some stuff to put dark skinned people down. He was like "Oh yeah I was worried about you having a crush on my friend, but he's dark. So I ain't worried." I was thinking "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything because I'm so paranoid about that topic you know? And I didn't want to seem so uptight! And then we were looking at a picture of this dark skinned video girl and I was like "Oh my God she is GORGEOUS!" (she was really gorgeous!), and he goes "Oh but she dark though"... Again I was thinking , "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything. Then he said something AGAIN, for some reason we were talking about whoopi goldberg and he was like "she dark anyway"... WHAT-THE-HELL. Oh my God. He's like bow wows complexion and I'm like only one or two shades lighter than him. And his WHOLE family is all light skinned, he's the darkest one in his family and he's not even that dark. What is his family going to say when they meet me? I'm scared I'm not light enough. I'm caramel complected right now. Not like Alicia Keys light skinned. And I honestly don't want to be. I'm so stressed! And I'm still offended by what he said. I'm not dark skinned anymore, but I'm from Sierra Leone, and a lot of my family is dark skinned. And I don't appreciate him talking about them like that. It didn't make me feel good. And I know for a fact if I was darker he wouldn't like me. :( I still like him, but it's just a weird situation. You know?

He really said a mouthful all in one day about skin color and hair texture, it sais a lot about him and how he would react to your family and you as well when the time comes. But, you can try and teach him if hese willing, and help him broaden his mentality. Some people change and some don't, so if hese willing to change and grow then see where it goes from there. But, if he remains to have a closed mind then there will be little to do with him and he will only cause hurt. Time will tell.

Hi BrownDeceit,

I just want to ask you, do you really think this guy would like you if you were darker? I know that everyone has his own taste but he does not just seem to like girls with light complexion, he seems to think being dark is like "committing a sin (lol)" However, I totally agree with Golden-Girl, you can teach him how to see things from a different perspective and he might eventually change his ways. Sometimes, ignorance is the reason behind the way people think, act, and talk. My boyfriend is white (Irish descent), I am West African from Ivory Coast; I successfully tought him that Africa is so much more than AIDS, wars, and starving children!

Hey guys oh my God I never knew it was like this I thought I was the only one always being called names and put down not only by outsiders but family as well I heard a lot of things like where did you come from how you darker than all of your family.

I never took it to heart as a kid but it does hurt real bad when you get called that I think its sily specialy the people am around to them being light is everything and I feel for all of you guys that have been called names just because of your skinn

Now at 19 am sick and tired of name calling it still happens I have been trying to change my skin colour now but I don't know where to start I want to do it because I think it would make me feel betta and be more confidence

I tried staying strong it sucks I gues it is what it is I gues the saying is true if you can beat them join them something like that

Its really bad but I don't know where to start and it sucks because look at the vedios on TV and magazine yeah they all black woman but with light shades I would apriciate any help from anyone I feel like I can connect with some of you guys after being called names and I never show it but I think am scard for life now

But please anyone that could help and some times I just need some one to understand and talk to I never opend up to anyone this my 1st time because I always though people would think am sily

Much apriciated

Hey guys oh my God i never knew it was like this i thought i was the only one always being called names and put down not only by outsiders but family as well i heard alot of things like where did you come from how you darker than all of your family.

i never took it to heart as a kid but it does hurt real bad when you get called that i think its sily specialy the people am around to them being light is everything and i feel for all of you guys that have been called names just because of your skinn

now at 19 am sick and tired of name calling it still happens i have been trying to change my skin colour now but i dont know where to start i want to do it because i think it would make me feel betta and be more confidence

i tried staying strong it sucks i gues it is what it is i gues the saying is true if u can beat them join them something like that

its realy bad but i dont know where to start and it sucks because look at the vedios on tv and magazine yeah they all black woman but with light shades i would apriciate any help from anyone i feel like i can connect with some of you guys after being called names and i never show it but i think am scard for life now

but please anyone that could help and some times i just need some one to understand and talk to i never opend up to anyone this my 1st time because i always though ppl would think am sily

much apriciated

Wow sorry to hear all that. People can be really mean. Have u started lightening at all?

Okay so I've been talking to this new guy. And he is very attractive. Probably one of the most attractive guys I've ever spoken to. I've been trying to tell myself that he likes me for me, and it's beyond how I look and my skin complexion. But... Anyway. So everything is going fine. He's in my dorm room hanging out. Then he says something crazy. He was like "Yeah people with better hair are on a different level than people with nappy hair" .....I was like.... "? You're so ignorant. Get out of my room." And I kicked him out of my room. I think he thinks my hair is naturally curly and long, but it's a weave. Then he came back like an hour and a half later and apologized and everything was fine. We hung out and just talked for like another 4 hours. And he was so sweet. And he was talking about how he told his friends that I was a 9/10 and that I was gorgeous. And we were just talking about all types of things. And for the most part it was good. BUT like two or three times he said some stuff to put dark skinned people down. He was like "Oh yeah I was worried about you having a crush on my friend, but he's dark. So I ain't worried." I was thinking "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything because I'm so paranoid about that topic you know? And I didn't want to seem so uptight! and then we were looking at a picture of this dark skinned video girl and I was like "Oh my God she is GORGEOUS!" (she was really gorgeous!), and he goes "Oh but she dark though" ........Again I was thinking , "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything. Then he said something AGAIN, for some reason we were talking about whoopi goldberg and he was like "she dark anyway" ....WHAT-THE-HELL. Oh my God. He's like bow wows complexion and I'm like only one or two shades lighter than him. And his WHOLE family is all light skinned, he's the darkest one in his family and he's not even that dark. What is his family going to say when they meet me? I'm scared I'm not light enough. I'm caramel complected right now. Not like Alicia Keys light skinned. And I honestly don't want to be. I'm so stressed! And I'm still offended by what he said. I'm not dark skinned anymore, but I'm from Sierra Leone, and a lot of my family is dark skinned. And I don't appreciate him talking about them like that. It didn't make me feel good. And I know for a fact if I was darker he wouldn't like me. :( I still like him, but it's just a weird situation. You know?

Hopefully you can help him to change but think about this. What if you start to date him anf fall in love with him and he finds out that your hair is not real, are you sure his feelings or views on you won't change? Hopefully things work out for u. there is hope for everyone and I believe eveyone can change.

wow sorry to hear all that. people can be really mean. have u started lightening at all?

That's so true this world is full of cruel people but what can we do
I did Start a year ago using some products I don't even remember the name then I gave up because I didn't see no change at all I want to start now but I don't know where to start to be honest.how about you have been lightening

BrownDeceit,

They say that there's a lot of things that we will overlook when we first meet someone, who we are attracted to. I say thank God that this guy was honest and open enough to show the "real" person he is. You may well be able to open his mind a little to his "ignorant" opinions but I doubt you will fully change his outlook on what he considers to be attractive. He is the "darkest" in his family and yet he seems to hold lightness in high esteem.

There will always be that protectiveness you will feel when you introduce your "darker" family members to him. Always that niggling thought in the back of your mind about what he is really thinking. Yeah it may well be a good thing for you and him to hang out together and hopefully open his mind more, but the fact that he felt he had to express his opinions on skin colour and hair texture so soon, shows how deep rooted it is for him. And who knows how it is for the rest of his family.

I would be very interested to know how this pans out for you. Hope it goes well!!

Yeah... I do worry about this. Even though he is a new guy I'm talking to... We've known each other for some time, we've just never really talked like that. And well, he didn't find me attractive the past two years. But I finally found something that helps to really lighten my skin. And all of a sudden he just thinks I'm gorgeous... I doubt he even knows why. His brain is probably just wired that way. Sad. And yeah... It is sad that I see the ugly side of him so ugly and that only proves that it really is deep rooted. Especially since he doesn't even realize what he's doing when he's doing it. And I cringe at the thought of imagining what's in his head when he meets my family members that are dark. :( And I am even lightening a shade or two more because I feel so pressured to be light! I honestly think my hair and my nose are what's holding his attention, because his ex girlfriend is light skinned. I'll keep you all updated if he says anymore racial comments!

I couldn't deal with it. I don't have that sort of patience & tolerance.:o

He's so cute though!

Gurllll...

The next time he visited I would layer myself in MAC NC155 just for spite and slap him with a rubber glove... followed by a nice swift kick with my Doc Martens.

There are lots of attractive men who don't feel the need to down certain colors or people. I'd explode eventually.

gurllll...

the next time he visited I would layer myself in MAC NC155 just for spite and slap him with a rubber glove...followed by a nice swift kick with my Doc Martens.

There are lots of attractive men who don't feel the need to down certain colors or people. I'd explode eventually.

TOOOOOO FUNNY!! NC155 OMG and I know BrownDeceit is probably like an NC43/44 what an extreme lol Eggo you know the remedy to this madness for sure lol

He's so cute though!


An attractive man needs to have some substance too, but seriously I would have called him out on it on his 1st mention of "but she dark though." I mean its one thing to be apprehensive about introducing someone new to your family in fear that they will not like him, but it's another to be nervous about introducing a new boy to your family FOR FEAR THAT THEY ARE NOT LIGHT ENOUGH FOR HIS LIKING. Come on Brown please don't keep quiet because you may seem "too uptight." You are a smart college girl. Hopefully he proves us wrong.

Not to offend anyone but i hear America is really racist, i live in Canada there isnt that much racism like out in the open between other races sometimes its "coded" were definitely cool with gays etc im bi racial (Black & Oriental) ive realized within the black community here the men have a self hating thing going on, all they talk about is light skin this light skin that and a LOT only want to date girls that are of other races if black she has to be "light skin" the funny thing is they arent even light skin themselves, anyway i started to lighten my skin honestly because of how black men treated me.

One time me and 2 friends were out 1 was about a shade lighter then alicia keys and not good looking rotten attitude pimples, stomach bigger then her boobs etc. the other was about nicole scherzingers color very snobby flat everywhere and some guy came over and said "hey my friends over there want to holler at you" pointed at my two friends right in front of me and said "Just you and you" he was about kelly rowlands color as well, I remember sitting in the lunch room and i heard two black guys talking in front of me one said about a girl across the room "dark skin girls shouldnt wear fish nets you can't see anything thats only for light skin girls" As soon as i would walk into a store they would follow me like they are my shadow while my lighter friend nothing, both a friend and i applied for a job at a clothes store that just opened that was "hiring" she had NO experience on her resume and i had 2 years experience she gets the job i go to visit her and ask them if they are still hiring she says yes and yells out and asks the manager "are we still hiring?" the manager at first said yes then said "hold on" then came all the way to the back where we were looked at me and said "No".

Im tired of Canada acting like there is no racism going on in this country almost every store only hires there own race,even if i have experience i can't get a job because im not the same race as the workers.Not even any point in trying.

High school was the absolute worst experience in LIFE so bad my mom took me out and made me do home schooling.The teachers were racist, one teacher i remember her putting all hispanics, blacks(if you were dark) straight to the back she even said to one student "i would love to hang you with a noose" of course she kept her job even after complaining , I once knocked on a door(@ school) with a dark friend to get something from a friend who is black but very light & looks another race the teacher out of nowhere angrily comes and slams the door right in my face along with my friend then the teacher yells out loud "be careful of the kind of friends you make".

Another time when i was about 10 at a friends birthday party one of my friends mother was there to pick her up since it was dark outside they asked her to give me a ride home since she lives 5 mins away from me her mom said "No its dark outside nobody is going to see her", Another friend invited me to her birthday party along with other friends her aunt looked at me and said to her "Next time make sure you tell me what kind of people you invite",

hmmm the list goes on what story should i tell next,

When i was about 11 i think i was at a friends house who was Oriental along with my friend who is bi racial(black and white) but was VERY light we were all having fun as soon as her father came home no hi nothing he calls her in the bedroom she comes out and tells me "Sorry you have to go because my dad doesnt like you kind of people __ can stay tho",

One time me & my mother were in our car a old white man parked up beside us and just kept waiting in his car he unlocked his door to come out and we unlocked our as well as soon as he saw us coming out he locked his door so fast and waiting until we were all the way in the store before he came out,

My lighter cousins were treated like royalty and called beautiful while i was always made fun of by my aunts & cousins they were treated like what they were kids and i was treated and spoken to like a adult or further more a stray dog. I guess a lot comes from my "child hood":/ also in music videos everyone is light all of the black singers that make it in the music industry are always light the dark ones never have a big career being darker skinned is always looked at as not attractive.

Since i have lightened my skin with HQ from Gabriel Unions color to literally Nicole scherzinger's or Tyra Banks a lot of men usually Hispanic,white, or Filipino men approach me a lot now, even black men try to talk to me and i wont give them the light of day. I really try not to judge all black men because i know all aren't like that but honestly its really hard because of the past.All the black men in my neighborhood have 200lbs+ white girlfriends walking around with bi racial babies yup i said it im sorry if i offend anyone. Ive also noticed i get treated a lot differently people walk pass and say your so beautiful they always smile i have no problem inside stores now my aunts & cousins try to be all nice to me saying your hair is so nice and long you have a nice nose and nice eyes (um? last time i checked i had all these things while i was darker) i cut them out of my life because of how mean they were to me i dont even go to any family dinners or anything. I guess in the end im happy but just need to get over the past.

sorry for such long and boring stories:)


Wow, very emotional post. You know it's a damn shame how cruel people can be, and I can't beleiuve your own family at that, what a shame. It's so funny that now that you are light, people treat you better, people are so low.

TOOOOOO FUNNY!!! NC155 OMG and I know BrownDeceit is probably like an NC43/44 what an extreme lol Eggo you know the remedy to this madness for sure lol

HaHa. Eggo you're toooo funny! And that would be a dramatic difference, I'm an NW40, so new day you were close! And I don't know why I'm so shocked. A while back before we were talking seriously, I told him a friend of mine was interested in him. The first thing he asked was, "Is she dark?" At the time I thought it was kind of weird, but I didn't really think much of it. But now I see it all makes sense. He must have a serious issue!

HaHa. Eggo you're toooo funny! And that would be a dramatic difference, I'm an NW40, so new day you were close! And I dunno why I'm so shocked. A while back before we were talking seriously, I told him a friend of mine was interested in him. The first thing he asked was, "Is she dark?" At the time I thought it was kind of weird, but I didn't really think much of it. But now I see it all makes sense. He must have a serious issue!

Oprah once said that people always give us indications of who they truly are, but we just choose not to see it because we don't want to see it. The indications are always there, whether they be subtle or overt.

Oprah once said that people always give us indications of who they truly are, but we just choose not to see it because we don't want to see it. The indications are always there, whether they be subtle or overt.

I mean yes. He did say some comments that really put me on edge. BUT he is a really good person otherwise. He's very kind, nice, generous, and giving. He's just not attracted to dark skinned girls. Apparently. And he doesn't find dark skin to be flattering either... Because he made that comment about his friend. Which is ironic because dark skinned men are put on a pedestal when it comes to attractiveness in this country.

You know we may all have a type that we are not attracted to, but I am sure that holding a conversation where our sole aim is to put them down would not be the first topic we choose to discuss when we first get chatting to someone we might like. Surely it should be a more positive conversation. As I said before, I think it is good that you are seeing the real person and can now decide if you really want that sort of man in your life, no matter how D*m Attractive he is!! LOL

I guess the race issue, skin color, hair texture etc issue is just complicated for everyone so it seemsexcept for the people who inflict ignorance.. lol... after reading some of your posts I see that not only am I not alone... but it seems a wroldwide wierdness people have especially regarding women with dark complexions... or more specifically Black women... because I've had girlfirends of different races who may have even been darker than I but were regarded as beautiful and exotic, (maybe because they had straight or wavy hair) and I was regarded as the ugly dark one or plain because I looked like a "regular Black girl" which I never quite understood as a comment... but I often hear as if I were somehow removed out of some spectrum of beauty and intrigue...

I guess in a way I am... I'm not the Black girl who looks like something "Else" like the famous girls.. "Kimora" or the light skinned "Tyra" or Beyonce types... and then I'm not the tall dark African beauty types that are deemed as super models the Naomi or the S. African girl "Wek" or whatever her name is...

I just don't get how every other race girl is not compared standing alongside super models... regular old white girls, asians, hispanics and others are accepted as just such and then measured alongside their regular old white girl counterparts... but for us to even be considered "attractive" it's like you got to be beyond beauty itslef or the guy just has a "thing for you"... lol...

It's like we have to be that person's preference in order to be even seen unless we are the famous super beauties... whilst other women can be pretty but just not that man's "type"... I don't know.. I think I kind of mentioned this earlier in my previous posts but I'm just venting again as I faced another marriage rejection from another jerk who wasn't into Black girls.. lol...

And just had another person (a close friend in fact, so I thought,) question with suspicion my ethnicity again. Because in her mind,. I "can't be Puerto Rican" cause I'm "too black"...

Oh the ignorance

I guess the race issue, skin color, hair texture etc issue is just complicated for everyone so it seemsexcept for the people who inflict ignorance.. lol... after reading some of your posts I see that not only am I not alone... but it seems a wroldwide wierdness people have especially regarding women with dark complexions... or more specifically Black women... because I've had girlfirends of different races who may have even been darker than I but were regarded as beautiful and exotic, (maybe because they had straight or wavy hair) and I was regarded as the ugly dark one or plain because I looked like a "regular Black girl" which I never quite understood as a comment... but I often hear as if I were somehow removed out of some spectrum of beauty and intrigue...

I guess in a way I am... I'm not the Black girl who looks like something "Else" like the famous girls.. "Kimora" or the light skinned "Tyra" or Beyonce types.... and then I'm not the tall dark African beauty types that are deemed as super models the Naomi or the S. African girl "Wek" or whatever her name is....

I just don't get how every other race girl is not compared standing alongside super models... regular old white girls, asians, hispanics and others are accepted as just such and then measured alongside their regular old white girl counterparts... but for us to even be considered "attractive" it's like you gotta be beyond beauty itslef or the guy just has a "thing for you" ... lol...

It's like we have to be that person's preference in order to be even seen unless we are the famous super beauties.... whilst other women can be pretty but just not that man's "type".... I don't know.. I think I kind of mentioned this earlier in my previous posts but I'm just venting again as I faced another marriage rejection from another jerk who wasn't into Black girls.. lol...

and just had another person (a close friend in fact, so I thought,) question with suspicion my ethnicity again. because in her mind,.. i "can't be Puerto Rican" cause I'm "too black"....

oh the ignorance

I feel you. I've had people (only online for some reason) say I'm not from my family because of my hair texture and coloring. Also I've gotten 'too black', 'too dark' to be what I am... as if their hair-typing wizardry explains my entire family tree.

You must simply filter out the moronic.

Okay so I've been talking to this new guy. And he is very attractive. Probably one of the most attractive guys I've ever spoken to. I've been trying to tell myself that he likes me for me, and it's beyond how I look and my skin complexion. But... Anyway. So everything is going fine. He's in my dorm room hanging out. Then he says something crazy. He was like "Yeah people with better hair are on a different level than people with nappy hair" .....I was like.... "? You're so ignorant. Get out of my room." And I kicked him out of my room. I think he thinks my hair is naturally curly and long, but it's a weave. Then he came back like an hour and a half later and apologized and everything was fine. We hung out and just talked for like another 4 hours. And he was so sweet. And he was talking about how he told his friends that I was a 9/10 and that I was gorgeous. And we were just talking about all types of things. And for the most part it was good. BUT like two or three times he said some stuff to put dark skinned people down. He was like "Oh yeah I was worried about you having a crush on my friend, but he's dark. So I ain't worried." I was thinking "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything because I'm so paranoid about that topic you know? And I didn't want to seem so uptight! and then we were looking at a picture of this dark skinned video girl and I was like "Oh my God she is GORGEOUS!" (she was really gorgeous!), and he goes "Oh but she dark though" ........Again I was thinking , "Are you serious?" but I didn't say anything. Then he said something AGAIN, for some reason we were talking about whoopi goldberg and he was like "she dark anyway" ....WHAT-THE-HELL. Oh my God. He's like bow wows complexion and I'm like only one or two shades lighter than him. And his WHOLE family is all light skinned, he's the darkest one in his family and he's not even that dark. What is his family going to say when they meet me? I'm scared I'm not light enough. I'm caramel complected right now. Not like Alicia Keys light skinned. And I honestly don't want to be. I'm so stressed! And I'm still offended by what he said. I'm not dark skinned anymore, but I'm from Sierra Leone, and a lot of my family is dark skinned. And I don't appreciate him talking about them like that. It didn't make me feel good. And I know for a fact if I was darker he wouldn't like me. :( I still like him, but it's just a weird situation. You know?

Brown deceit,

I think you need to leave this dude alone because if you are looking for a real relationship that involves intimacy than that means honesty. Some day he is going to want to touch your hair, feel it and see if its really yours. That's how guys are when they get to know you. Trust me I am a weave wearer and wear loong weaves that look real natural to. (my real hair is long but not as long as the weave) anyway, what is he going to think when he finds out that your hair is not real?

Or what happens if your skin starts to darken? It CAN happen and has happened to me. Especially during the summer, he might want to take you out during the day, and you may tan a few shades is he still going to find you attractive? Is he going to dump you for a girl that still is light after a tan?

I guess the race issue, skin color, hair texture etc issue is just complicated for everyone so it seemsexcept for the people who inflict ignorance.. lol... after reading some of your posts I see that not only am I not alone... but it seems a wroldwide wierdness people have especially regarding women with dark complexions... or more specifically Black women... because I've had girlfirends of different races who may have even been darker than I but were regarded as beautiful and exotic, (maybe because they had straight or wavy hair) and I was regarded as the ugly dark one or plain because I looked like a "regular Black girl" which I never quite understood as a comment... but I often hear as if I were somehow removed out of some spectrum of beauty and intrigue...

I guess in a way I am... I'm not the Black girl who looks like something "Else" like the famous girls.. "Kimora" or the light skinned "Tyra" or Beyonce types.... and then I'm not the tall dark African beauty types that are deemed as super models the Naomi or the S. African girl "Wek" or whatever her name is....

I just don't get how every other race girl is not compared standing alongside super models... regular old white girls, asians, hispanics and others are accepted as just such and then measured alongside their regular old white girl counterparts... but for us to even be considered "attractive" it's like you gotta be beyond beauty itslef or the guy just has a "thing for you" ... lol...

It's like we have to be that person's preference in order to be even seen unless we are the famous super beauties.... whilst other women can be pretty but just not that man's "type".... I don't know.. I think I kind of mentioned this earlier in my previous posts but I'm just venting again as I faced another marriage rejection from another jerk who wasn't into Black girls.. lol...

and just had another person (a close friend in fact, so I thought,) question with suspicion my ethnicity again. because in her mind,.. i "can't be Puerto Rican" cause I'm "too black"....

oh the ignorance


It's the self hate that is in the black community.

I notice that when a black guy is judging a girl that most common thing you hear is "she aint no beyonce" or "she aint no halle berry"

Just why are we always being judged by these celebrity women with a particular phenotype.

Why can't we just be pretty and leave it at that.

It's the self hate that is in the black community.

I notice that when a black guy is judging a girl that most common thing you hear is "she aint no beyonce" or "she aint no halle berry"

Just why are we always being judged by these celebrity women with a particular phenotype.

Why can't we just be pretty and leave it at that.

My theory is that the One Drop Rule(In the US, everyone with any known African ancestry was put into the Black group, AFAIU.) is partly to blame.

If you're throwing in everyone with any degree of African ancestry into one pool, then in a racist & colorstruck society, the so-called "prettiest black women" will almost always be the ones with the more European(or Asian, Native, Arab, etc) physical traits. It's a total scam!

If people were honest and specific (when possible) about their background I think it would help. In this warped system, there's no reason for someone like me (mostly African) to compare myself to another 'black' woman who's European-heavy in her ancestry. I also don't see a reason for a woman with more African ancestry than I have (or with a more stereotypically W. African phenotype) to compare herself to me.

IMO, beauty goes beyond race and coloring. Beyonce is a cute girl but not the world-class beauty that she's hyped to be. She obviously requires a lot of work(and that's fine too).

Halle is naturally gorgeous as is Kenya Moore, IMO.

It's crazy that the whiter black women often receive a free beauty credit whether they are actually extra-attractive or not. I'd feel weird knowing that people were 'feeling me' just because how much more European or Native American I looked than whoever I'm standing next to..
Madness!

It boggles my brain that someone could think Bey was automatically prettier than Kenya simply because of coloring but I'm sure that, for many, it's true.

You all are doing some preachin' up in here... can I get a hallelujah! LOL... feels good to hear some sane people talking finally!!

You all are doing some preachin' up in here... can I get a hallelujah!! LOL... feels good to hear some sane people talking finally!!!

Eggo you real hit the nail on the proverbial coffin lol because what you said is exactly how I feel, I mean I could never compare myself to Lauren London because as beautiful as she is, she is half white, and we both share totally different DNA's so some of her features will probably never appear in my bloodline unless I marry out of my race or one of the caucasian traits of a great great great grandparent (to the umpth degree) pops up in one of my offspring. Black women, especially darker skinned women, are really pressured as far as beauty goes, I mean as far as Hollywood goes you have to be an exceptionally beautiful dark skinned woman to make it (like Jill Marie Jones from Girlfriends). It is just an extreme to try to put myself on the same spectrum as other people in different races because each race has attributes that make them distinct from other races, and if you are an Asian girl trying to compare yourself to a black girl, I just don't think that will fly, besides the disparity in skin color. I hope this makes sense to you guys.

Eggo that would give a guy a shock and see his true colors.. lol

All so true. I think society is still greatly unaware of how these things can effect women of color, but as soon as she begin's to lighten so many people are ready to jump down her throat and make it seem as though the female is so sinister. It's sad how so many men of color are extreme intraracists and colorists to their own. To me I just think women need to broaden their options, and if a man of a different race likes them for who they are and see their beauty... I rather have that any day than dealing with men who may look like me but think they are God's gift to all women and have the rights to down-cast me. Many rapper's lyrics enjoys reminding such ignorance.

You guys are totally right. It's so annoying because they make it seem as if there is only one correct standard of beauty when it comes to black women. And that's if your light skinned. And if you're not light skinned then you better have some very European looking features. Like Kenya Moore, Jessica White, Naomi Campbell, Liya Kebede, Joy Bryant, Chili from TLC, Lanisha Cole, Aaliyah (May her soul RIP), Gelila Bekele, etc.

Kenya Moore

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0b7Omq_9DzI/SP1vK4xgTVI/AAAAAAAAAFc/59xcuqrZCuc/s400/kenya57.jpg

Liya Kebede

http://www.egodesign.ca/_files/articles/125d_liya_kebede.jpg

Chili

http://blackcelebritykids.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/rozonda-chilli-thomas.jpg


Jessica White

http://passtheword.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/jwhite.jpg


Lanisha Cole

http://static.hiphopwired.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/LanishaCole01.jpg


Gelila

http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/107/l_9778c80ea75a1cf9f282f438e9317bb0.jpg


RARELY. Very RARELY are dark skinned women with prominent west african features praised. The only one I can think of is Gabrielle Union. Though it works in my favor because I have "exotic" features, I'm not stupid or ignorant to walk around thinking that I am BETTER than someone with west african features, I just realize that society is so backwards that they'll praise me because of it. Just like they'll praise a mixed girl because of her really light skin. There is no distinct formula that equals beauty. You can be dark with west african features and still be beautiful! It's about the symmetry in ones face. Smh. I wish people could see this!

True. My opinion Brown, if you really like this guy then you can continue to check him out but also let him know now that you don't like his narrow way of thinking. And also keep your options open because someone who has much more depth may just come along to you and they may actually be the one.

I actually did talk to him about it. And as he could see I was getting angry and I told him I give up on him. He asked me not to give up on him because that's the reason why I'm in his life. To open up his eyes. I feel like he's willing to see the light (no pun intended), but I think he's also so traumatized from being the darkest one in his family with like 5 light skinned siblings and both of his parents being light skinned.

Well, only time will tell then if his words holds truth or if he is only trying to be a smooth talker.

Soooo true. I'm starting to lose interest in him actually. He said some things the other day that urked me AGAIN. He was talking about how "interesting" puerto rican women look and how "interesting" south american women look. Oh goodness. I just did my best to grit my teeth, nod my head. And stay polite. But inside of me I was fuming. And I felt extremely INSECURE. And when he said "interesting" I know he meant fine. You should see the look on his face. Now nothing wrong with these comments he made. If he thinks these women are beautiful it's whatever, but given his track record, and given the fact he was describing the women of these places that are the non black ones. I did kind of look at him funny. I guess I just really want it to work because he's really good looking and popular. But I feel so nervous all the time. I went to the store to buy more perm to perm my hair and make sure that my curls blended and looked even more natural and like I had natural curly hair. And I've been lightening like crazy. I just feel so much pressure to look mixed. And I think I'm really getting there because 3 people in the last two weeks asked me what I was. Not saying that this equals prettier than someone who looks solid black. But. Let's face it. Why are so many of us trying to lighten? Because we want to look different from what we already are. We want a change.

That's true, I agree. I say do only what makes you happy and feel good. But with that dude giving pressure, I would lose interest too... because if was very interested in you, then he wouldn't talk about other women and so forth to you. I'm the jealous type and would have said how much I liked guys that looked completely different than him so he could get jealous, even if he was my type too... then I would say "let's just be friends".. lol. Better you say it than him to say it to you for whatever reason. He still should not be talking about other girls to you if he is truly interested in you, that is disrespectful.. I say he needs a taste of his own bitter medicine.

That is very disrespectful for him to say that. But that same night he also told me how much he liked me and how beautiful he thinks I am. And I am also the jealous type. EXTREMELY jealous. And I was going to actually say some spiteful things to him about how I think darker men are better looking and how I think his friend is more attractive. BUT he's very sensitive and I knew it would REALLY hurt him. And as ignorant as he is. I just can't hurt someone's feelings like that on purpose. And I think I might have to just walk away from the situation because I'm paranoid that every time I'm with him and girl who is VERY light skinned walks by, that he's going to wish he was with her and not me.

I would have said it to him.. because everyone has feelings. Those type of things he said about other women should be spoken to his guy friends, not you. He knows what he is doing, to me it's like he wants you to rely your beauty to his standards as though you should be fortunate to have him, but he should be feeling fortunate. You have feelings too. No reason to get paranoid, he should be getting that way with u when other dudes walk by

HaHa. I love you Golden Girl. You seriously always make me feel better! You're like the Mother of this board and seriously a positive voice of inspiration!

HaHa. I love you Golden Girl. You seriously always make me feel better! You're like the Mother of this board and seriously a positive voice of inspiration!

I totally agree with you on that Brown and you really don't need to be someone who you are not at ease with. The pressure to lighten is enough as it is let alone the added pressure to be light enough for someone's liking. Not even worth it IMO