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View Full Version : Break up to see other people or bad idea?


classychica2009
Oct 5, 2009, 07:26 AM
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and I'm so in love with him. He's such a great guy, he's smart, good looking, and sweet, and I believe that I want to marry him. There aren't any real problems in our relationship, i.e. no cheating, lying , violence, we have small issues, but there are things that we can work through and we are currently working through as I type. The problem is that people think we should take time off to see other people. Since we are each others first real relationships, we want to make sure that we are right for each other. Right now I can't see myself being with anyone else. I love him and only him. But I don't want to wonder 7 or 8 years into our marriage if I missed out on something else. I don't want a divorce, and the rate is so high these days. Marriage is still a long ways off for us because we are still in college and most likely to attend graduate school.
What should I do?

I don't want to lose him, but I think its something that we must do to see if its really meant to be.

I always hear, if you love something let it go, and if it returns to you, then its yours.

I wish
Oct 5, 2009, 07:34 AM
Just keep getting to know each other. Marriage is a huge step, so if you continue to have these doubts, hold off on that.

Focus on strenthening your relationship. If you like the way it's heading, then it doesn't matter that it's your first relationship. As long as you are happy with what you have.

However, if you keep wondering what else is out there, then maybe you're not really that happy with him.

redhed35
Oct 5, 2009, 07:34 AM
Sounds like you want to have some fun,but keep your options open...

You don't have to get married...

However ,there is no guarantee that when you have had your fill of other types of relationships he may not want you back..

You say there are only small things that you are working through,one person looking for other types of entertainment is a BIG ISSUE!

If your having those kinds of doubts,I would strongly suggest you don't marry.

classychica2009
Oct 5, 2009, 07:40 AM
Just keep getting to know each other. Marriage is a huge step, so if you continue to have these doubts, hold off on that.

Focus on strenthening your relationship. If you like the way it's heading, then it doesn't matter that it's your first relationship. As long as you are happy with what you have.

However, if you keep wondering what else is out there, then maybe you're not really that happy with him.

I'm not wondering about it now, right now I'm perfectly happy, but later, I don't want to have doubts, and the reason why it's a big deal is because I have an older cousin who began to have doubts a few years into her marriage which made everything turn sour.
I feel that if we are strong enough to let each other go, and let each other see other people, then if we come back, we'll be that much more sure. If that makes any sense to anyone?

I'd rather sacrifice a few months or even a year of sadness for oure happiness for the rest of our lives, if that is what is meant to be.
People tell me when I say he's the one, that I can't be so sure because its only based on our relationship, I don't know how to respond to that. :-///

I wish
Oct 5, 2009, 07:49 AM
Your doubt is that you might have a doubt in the future. That hardly seems fair to your current boyfriend. You're worrying about the "what ifs".

As for whether he's the one. No one ever knows who's the one, unless you've met all 6 billion plus people in the world. You just need to ask yourself whether you are happy with your current relationship and whether you like where things are heading. You can't expect to find the absolute solemate.

classychica2009
Oct 5, 2009, 07:54 AM
Your doubt is that you might have a doubt in the future. That hardly seems fair to your current boyfriend. You're worrying about the "what ifs".

As for whether he's the one. No one ever knows who's the one, unless you've met all 6 billion plus people in the world. You just need to ask yourself whether you are happy with your current relationship and whether you like where things are heading. You can't expect to find the absolute solemate.

Wow, very good point, thank you! I never thought of that