:confused:
We have 2 cats, one sprays over the entire house (even on the stove & kitchen counter top) YUK... The other one is trying to be dominant, therefore that's why the first one is spraying (both have been neutered).

Recently, our 1 yr. old grandaughter was over, and the cat scratched her on her face. He has also scratched our other grandaughter, and a family friend. That was THE last straw for me, and we gave them to a friend who has a farm, and they are now barn cats.

The problem is, that hubby is really missing them, and grieving terribly. I'm upset that I put up with all of this for 6 years, and even though I have compassion for him in the loss, I'm feeling a little resentful that he made me go through this for so long. Was I too hard on wanting them gone??

If you are asking my opinion, yes. I don't know that you were "wrong" for giving them away if they were out of control and dangerous. I also don't know how one of them got that close to your Grandchild - my dogs (I do not have cats) are not familiar with children and so I keep them and children apart.

That having been said - these were house cats, indoors, protected, fed, presumably loved, and they are suddenly fighting to survive as barn cats.

That's where I see the cruelty and your mistake.

Sorry, I'm sure this is not what you want to hear.

I do see from your other posts that you have mentioned your cats before as well as problems with your children/grandchildren. You have been concerned about your peri-menopause symptoms and insecurities. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens-health/feel-like-im-not-me-part-peri-menopause-319138.html#post1556890

Did any of this background cause you to give the cats away, influence your decision? I also don't understand - you did this without consulting with your husband?

If you are asking my opinion, yes. I don't know that you were "wrong" for giving them away if they were out of control and dangerous. I also don't know how one of them got that close to your Grandchild - my dogs (I do not have cats) are not familiar with children and so I keep them and children apart.

That having been said - these were house cats, indoors, protected, fed, presumably loved, and they are suddenly fighting to survive as barn cats.

That's where I see the cruelty and your mistake.

Sorry, I'm sure this is not what you want to hear.

I do see from your other posts that you have mentioned your cats before as well as problems with your children/grandchildren. You have been concerned about your peri-menopause symptoms and insecurities. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/womens-health/feel-like-im-not-me-part-peri-menopause-319138.html#post1556890

Did any of this background cause you to give the cats away, influence your decision? I also don't understand - you did this without consulting with your husband?

Oh heavens No... hubby agreed to the cats being given to a family friend. They are being fed so they won't have to "fend for themselves" with respect to food.

Oh heavens No....hubby agreed to the cats being given to a family friend. They are being fed so they won't have to "fend for themselves" with respect to food.



Someone out there is feeding barn cats? Good to know - there was a lengthy post not too long ago about barn cats not getting Vet care, suddenly being responsible for catching/killing their own food, not being used to being outdoors and so forth.

Apparently some barn cats are treated better than others and that's good to know.

Many barn cats have wonderful lives, and I think you did the right thing. It sounds like the cats were not happy at your house, and I'll bet they're loving life in their new home. I do hope you won't get another cat though, although your husband misses the ones you had. It sounds like this isn't the right time to have animals in your life.