To all who post here. Natalie 25 and Natalie 26 are the same person so know the threads have been merged, and edited.

HELP! I love him. We have been dating for 6 months and life has been amazing. When we met he told me how later on he would start an internship and be very busy. That means he would be working full time, school full time and a internship. He thought back then he could deal with it. But I guess now he is just getting so stressed out. This last month we have been hanging once a week on Fridays. And that has been fine with me but I guess not with him. He wants to see me more and he thinks once a week or less is unfair. I guess I do understand but I don't. If he cared wouldn't he do anything to make it work? But I know he cares so much for his career and that goes first. He told me he was torn inside and didn't want to but juts doesn't have the time. I know he cares for me a lot. And really there isn't much time. But I'm just so heartbroken. I decided we can still be friends. And he said who knows what the future holds. Is there a chance he'll miss me later on and want me back? I decided to be friends but I'm not going to contact him he can do that right? Is there any chance he'll start missing me and want me back and think it will work? Please help!

I'm afraid you're going to have to move on. Don't put your life on hold because he surely won't. I don't think being friends with him would be the greatest idea either since you have such strong feelings for him, and it would only cause you pain.

If I was in love with someone, I would do anything to keep them.

This guy has one busy schedule and a relationship for him right now is not a priority. In fact it is probably more of a distraction. He is ultimately required to find quality time for you and even just fitting you in once a week probably leaves him feeling guilty that he is already asking you to put your life on hold, while he focuses primarily on his goals.

I think that what's best is to not contact him and allow yourself the time to heal. This relationship has broken up and maintaining a friendship at this time is not in your best interest, because you want more from him than he is able to give. Let him fulfill his goals, it is admirable that he is that structured. I agree, do not put your life on hold, this isn't a situation that will work out quickly and your relationship wasn't long enough to merit such devotion on your part.

I think you're right, if he really cared about you, he would find a way to make it work. Seeing each other once a week is no different than a long distance relationship.

It sounds like he's not even willing to give the relationship a chance while he's temporarily busy. Sounds like he just used the intership as an excuse to break up with you.

There's always a chance that he would come back to you, but from the looks of things, don't expect him to come back, you'd just be setting yourself up for disappointment.

You sound needy and clingy ,neither of which is an attractive trait.
Men like strong independent women,not someone who has to have a guy there all the time to justify who they are.
Don't mean to be harsh but that just the way I am reading it.

Working and studying put a lot of pressure on my old relationship. So we had a break, time apart made me see how much I loved her and wanted her back (unfortunately things weren't the same for her... )

In short, focus on you. If he does love you he'll be back.

Working and studying put a lot of pressure on my old relationship. So we had a break, time apart made me see how much i loved her and wanted her back (unfortunately things werent the same for her...)

In short, focus on you. If he does love you he'll be back.

I agree with you azif. Move on with your life, as impossible as this may seem. Distract yourself if you have to. Keep in mind that he may end up back with you, but don't count on it just in case. When and if he does, you may find yourself at a different point in life as it is, and that may be a good thing. I went through some of that and it was not the same in the end but I grew a lot in the process. I know you don't want to hear this and maybe it will be different for you. In the meanwhile you must push on.

This happened with the love of my life and he keeps coming back and coming back to me after I broke up with him. Im trying to be "tough" and just pretend to move on but I know deep down we'll end up together again when the time is right. And for that time... who knows how long it will take, but keep faith if its true love you'll be together in the end and forget about all that's happened in between. Xoxox

There are some really great stickies in the relationship thread,by starting no contact and giving yourself time to heal,perhaps in time you will see that,things were not as good as you thought.

If he wants to focus on his career there's not a lot you can do... as you said moving on is probably the best thing.

I know it's hard, but if he's not willing to be with you, the worst thing you can do is try to get him back. This is because at this point, he is not willing, and you will be hurting yourself more. He probably could fit you into his schedule, but he doesn't want to, otherwise he would try harder. His career is his priority right now. This unfortunately really hurts. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with this.
The best thing that I can say for you to do is this. Move on. Do not contact him, an dstick to it. If he calls, either ignore it or tell him that you're busy. Hang out with friends that you don't see often, join clubs, focus on school or work or find a hobby. Whatever it takes. No matter what though, it will take some time.

You were only together for 6 months.
This is not enough time to really get to know someone or decide that you love them.

Is it bad I said we can be friends.

is it bad i said we can be friends.

He's not going to want to have the time to be just your friend, if he doesn't have the time to be your boyfriend. And I think it would make it more difficult on him because he'll feel like you're still pursuing him by trying to be friends. I promise, not talking to him is the easiest way to deal with these things.

You I understand. He told me he really wanted to be friends so I said OK. But what if he calls or something later on what should I do?

You can be friends after you've recovered from the break up. For now it's better to stay away from each other to avoid adding to the confusion and prolonging the healing process.

Thanks for your guys help! I just don't understand why he can't be busy and have a relationship? I can do it. So he's just going to throw what we had away. Obviously I wasn't a priority to him :(

I just don't understand why he can't be busy and have a relationship?

Being busy is just an excuse. He just doesn't feel the same way about you anymore, so he's letting you down easy by telling you that he's busy.

Avoid talking to him, so that you don't get confused anymore. Just focus on yourself and focus on recovering from this break up.

Thanks. What about tips on getting back to being happy when single. And it sucks when all my friends are in relationships, I feel so alone now.

Sometimes it's easier for a partner to make up an excuse to try and let you down easy, rather than just be up front about it. For some reason they think that saying "I just don't have time" makes it easier for you, when in reality, those words cause you to hold on to false hope. Because the reason isn't "I don't feel the same way about you" people tend to think that maybe they still have feelings for them, and that there's a chance in the future, when there really isn't. It does more harm than good.
He probably thinks he's doing a good thing by sparing your feelings, but he only says it that way because it makes him feel better. He doesn't want to look like a jerk because he doesn't have feelings for you, so he makes up lies.
He's not doing the right thing, he's doing the easy thing, so he doesn't look bad, whether he knows he's doing it or not. His excuses are just something for him to hide behind.

The fact is, is that he doesn't love you anymore, and you shouldn't waste your time trying to be with someone who does not want to be with you. It's not healthy.
Find someone who does have time with you, and has enough respect for you to tell you the truth, instead of being a coward.

You are totally right and thanks for all your advice. I appreciate it. But I don't think him telling me he's busy is an excuse. Because actually soon he really will be. There will be barely any time for me. With him working, school and interning everyday. I think he's scared since we won't see each other a lot. In my head I want to think maybe later on he'll think it can work. But I know I need to start letting go. Any stories about being busy with school and work in a relationship? Do people just get scared can it work? Any success stories? Or should I just completely let go now.

That could be part of it, but if he REALLY wanted to make it work, he would put more effort in to it.
My boyfriend goes to college 3 hours away. I only get to see him on weekends, sometimes only every-other weekend. We're doing just fine. The key is effort and communication. If he's not willing to put that in, you're not going anywhere.

Are some men really just too busy to date? Its hard to understand.

If they care enough for you they will find the time-its that simple.
Im sorry if that sounds harsh but he s making excuses.
Enjoy being single and date other guys!

I couldn't agree more.
Being the super busy person that I was, I found SO MUCH TIME to hang out with a guy I wanted to see. I still don't know where I found the time lol.


If they care enough for you they will find the time-its that simple.
Im sorry if that sounds harsh but he s making excuses.
Enjoy being single and date other guys!

I'm starting to get better. But still in the back of my head, I think it isn't possible to meet another good guy like this. Because he treated me extremely well.. yah OK he didn't have a lot of time for me. But otherwise he was perfect. How do I get my mind to believe there is someone better out there? Has this happened to anyone??

THis comes with time. I've felt like that before. I got over it, and then I actually DID end up finding someone better. :)

Thanks u give me hope.

I'm glad it helped you. Maybe you've truly loved him, but his love for wasn't this way. I know it's hard, but you've just learned that people come to your life as well as they leave. But don't worry, everything will be fine. I know it's annoying, you're probably still thinking of him. But if you want to get him back just try it. But there's no guarantee that you'll be OK then. :| If my girlfriend left me, I would try to get her back no matter what xD I know in my head that it's not the right thing to do, but my heart would say, you can do this. I'm really sorry for you, hope you'll be fine... best wishes

I don't think it would be worth it to try it. Id make a fool of myself. He really is very busy and there isn't much time to fit me in. I'm starting to understand even though its very hard. I'm just not much of a priority to him like school is. :( which does hurt a lot.

i dont think it would be worth it to try it. id make a fool of myself. he really is very busy and there isnt much time to fit me in. im starting to understand even tho its very hard. im just not much of a priority to him like school is. :( which does hurt alot.

Work full-time
School full-time plus studying and other class related projects
Internship

There really isn't any time left for self maintenance-eating, sleeping, grooming, etc.

I give him some respect for realizing that he couldn't give you the attention and care that you deserve. If he had tried to keep up that crazy schedule and your relationship, one or both of you would have started resenting the other person and the demands he/she made or couldn't keep up with.

It may not feel like it, but it is better to break up now than later after the relationship is so damaged that you are hurting each other.

Wow you are totally right. Just makes me upset that earlier he said we would work it out. And than when the time came he realized he couldn't I guess. Just sucks when you think you are meant to be and crap gets in the way. Its so hard to move on. It makes me feel like I've had much stronger feelings for him than he has for me. Like he didn't care.

You've only been together 6 months. There's plenty of time and other guys that will be able to be there with you. Just be patient. Healing doesn't usually happen automatically.

wow you are totally right. just makes me upset that earlier he said we would work it out. and than when the time came he realized he couldn't i guess. just sucks when you think you are meant to be and crap gets in the way. its so hard to move on. it makes me feel like ive had much stronger feelings for him than he has for me. like he didnt care.

It sounds like he cares enough to understand that the pressures you're talking about would have had you at each other's throats in a fairly short time.

I have watched it happen before when couples have conflicting schedules or one person has obligations that take up almost all of their time-free or otherwise.

It's not going to be easy to forget this one because there really is no one at fault. No bad experiences. No he did this/he did that. It is just plain bad timing on when you got together.

Give yourself time and permission to heal. You will come out stronger and ready for the relationship that is meant to be long term.

You are totally right. I keep telling myself that later on the relationship would just get worse since he is so busy. But I feel like its harder to get over him because he never treated me bad and I thought I was in love. He and people tell me who knows how the future will be. But he isn't done with all that for a dang year! I can't wait that long even though I want him to come back. It just sucks like you said that it happened when it did. I wish he could handle it. Do you think its harder to get over someone when the break up is clean or bad? Cause I like can't hate him I have no reason to. But maybe he didn't love me like I loved him. Relationships sucks! I think I'm done with them lol

relationships sucks! i think im done with them lol

That's not cliché at all. *sarcasm*
Everyone says that from time to time. But if you keep going then you're a lot closer to finding love then you would if you just gave up,

Haha I know. And I know I'm young. I need to stop dwelling on him. Someone slap me!

*slap* you're welcome

Why do guys stop talking to you after they break up with you? Is this normal for awhile? We dated six months and really cared for each other. He soon got really busy with school and work. So he ended it because he thought their wouldn't be enough time and it wouldn't be fair. I know it was hard for him and he does care for me. But its been a week and we haven't talked. Is he just a baby to say anything? Or is he just going to wait awhile until we can talk as friends? I know its good for me cause it helps me get over him. But any guys out there that want to answer this? Why doesn't he try to contact me. Is he really just busy or to scared to say anything. Just wondering what he's going through Thanks! :)

Why do guys stop talking to you after they break up with you? Is this normal for awhile? We dated six months and really cared for eachother. He soon got really busy with school and work. So he ended it because he thought their wouldnt be enough time and it wouldnt be fair. i know it was hard for him and he does care for me. But its been a week and we havent talked. Is he just a baby to say anything? Or is he just gonna wait awhile until we can talk as friends? i know its good for me cause it helps me get over him. But any guys out there that wanna answer this? Why doesnt he try to contact me. Is he really just busy or to scared to say anything. Just wondering what hes going through Thanks!! :)

It's called No Contact, and it's the recommended way to break off a relationship.

You said it yourself, it's helping you get over him, well, it's doing the same for him.

He may call one day, try to be friends, but he may just move on with his life, leave you in the past.

Coming from a guy, yes we do have feelings..

Breaking up with someone and then still talking to them and keeping in contact with them does not help with the break up and moving on...

No Contact does help because it doesn't allow you to be around the person or talk to them, therefore less chance of you trying to get back with them.

The guy has made the right move, and as you said, it was hard for him, so this is what is best for him too. He is not being a baby, he is trying to deal with his pain, so once he is able to get his feelings in-check, he might contact you again and you can be friends.

But to the original question, yes, guys have feelings...

I am in the exact position as you Natalie! Our stories are pretty much identical. My ex and I dated for six months cared deeply for each other and he was very emotional when we broke up because he had a lot of other things going on. I tried no contact then gave into it. He was very friendly and promised me we would meet up once school started. That never happened and I have been in no contact with him for 3 weeks now. I'm still very hurt and care for him very much, but your ex probably does have feelings but is just trying to get his life in order. Maybe you guys can be friends eventually but the best solution is patience and if it happens then great, if it doesn't then it's his loss.

It sucks doesn't it! Feeling like you're not a priority! I suggest you stick with no contact too. If these guys broke up with us we shouldn't chase them. If they do call us than we can talk. Maybe later on they will regret it because being so busy leaves you with no life. I would think they would get lonely right? But for now we have to move on! Its hard but we have to. And maybe later on they will come crawling back but maybe not. Good luck too!

it sucks doesn't it! feeling like you're not a priority!! i suggest u stick with no contact too. if these guys broke up with us we shouldn't chase them. if they do call us than we can talk. maybe later on they will regret it because being so busy leaves u with no life. i would think they would get lonely right?? but for now we have to move on! its hard but we have to. and maybe later on they will come crawling back but maybe not. good luck too!

You aren't a priority, that's the point. The whole reason people break up is because they no longer want to be together.

He broke up with you because it wasn't working for him. To continue contact with you isn't necessary, you're the past, he has a future that he's trying to plan.

Chasing a guy that dumped you is a lost cause. If he does call I wouldn't answer. Are you that desperate? Do you really want a guy that doesn't want you?

No contact. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it hurts, but no contact is the way to go.

If he does crawl back, which isn't likely, would you want him? He doesn't want you. If he does crawl back it will be because he's lonely, you're familiar, you know what he likes. Those who do crawl back usually end up running away again.

You're no longer his concern, nor should he be yours.

Yes we have feelings, and as hurt and disappointed as you are its for the best he leaves you alone. Instead of stringing you along he broke up with you as he isn't prepared to be distracted by you. That simple, and have you never had to leave a guy alone because you weren't as interested as he was? If you have, then you can understand where he is coming from.

Time to move beyond this, and do your own thing, as he has obviously done.

After dating my boyfriend for 6 months. Who is older I had a very happy life. I was content with a more laid back life and not so big on partying. Now its been two weeks since we broke up. He's just to busy in his life with school and work. Which is very heart breaking for me. Its hard for me to be happy on the weekends because I liked my life the way it was before. I'm sick of being surrounded by young parties. And most of my friends like to party and stuff but I feel more mature then hanging with younger immature people. Its hard because its either go out with them or sit at home. I don't know what is better. I miss my life the way it was. Any advice on what I should do? Has this happened to anyone??

Well, I can tell you this that this has happened to many people before. I would advice to to keep busy by learning a new skill or picking up a new hobby. It will take a while to get used to this different lifestyle. A lifestyle where you do not have your significant other by your side at all times. Read through some of the stickies at the top of the page and see if they help you out at all. Keep us updated on how you feel.

Also, I am assuming that you are still in school since your partner is in school. Try to join a new club or go to a campus event. You can meet new people there and socialize. Hang out with your friends. I hope this helps a little.

Take a class that has some older people in it. I mean a class after school. Maybe learn a second language, or how to play an instrument.

Just try to keep your time and schedule full.

Love will give us our highest highs, and lowest lows. You're just having a low point. It will get better, and you will look back on this and think, "wow, what a watse of time he was ".

I wish you the best of luck.

I try doing sum extra activities, maybe volunteering/joining up a club at school. Maybe spend more time with family. Do things to keep yourself occupied and at the same time productive and fun. You'll realize as your doing these things some traits about yourself that can make you a very very independent young lady. As if you are not already now haha =]

Hope u feel better.

Natalie, please keep all of your questions in the same thread. It makes it easier for you (no need to go into the full story every time) and us (we can keep up with your story and what's going on). It also keeps your threads from having to be merged.

Continuing education classes, volunteer work, etc. are just a few ways to get involved with more mature (thinking-not necessarily age-wise) people.

Give yourself time. Time to heal. Time to make new friends. Time to find yourself.

Ok so I'm sure you all remember me maybe.. My and my boyfriend broke up about 5 weeks ago. We haven't talked much since. I called him awhile ago to try and get him back but it didn't work. Then I realized I had to move on so I finally deleted him from my Facebook. I guess he didn't like that because a day later he texts me and messages me, are we not friends now? I said yes we are. Haha. But anyway the day after that I get a text real late at night that said, I love you but I just don't know what to do. First of all the whole time we were dating he never told me he loved me. So I think its funny that night he got drunk and said he did. Does truth come out when people are drunk? Maybe he's embarrassed now for doing that because we haven't talked today. But maybe he's realizing I'm moving on and he wants me back? It just really shocked me that he said that. Can anyone give me some advice on what to do?? Thanks!

Ignore him. If you want to heal from the breakup don't stay in touch-and don't let his text confuse you.

Threads merged again

Ignore him otherwise you can't heal. Otherwise, you will just keep suffering. Change your number if you have to.

does truth come out when people are drunk?

It usually makes it easier for the drunk person to say what he/she thinks the other person wants to hear.

I think you need to see it as a ploy to get you to do what he wants. It sounds like he doesn't like the fact that you are working on getting over him. Unfortunately for him, his wants and desires are not your concern.

You have a life to live that doesn't include waiting around for him to decide what you are doing.

Good luck in the future with No Contact. Give yourself time and resources to heal.

Generally speaking people tell the truth when drunk. They lose their inhabitions as they say and it's like truth serum. However, it doesn't mean that he wants to be back with you. It means he has feelings. You could as him what the problem is and start by talking it out. If he is unable to talk to you about while sober, you may want to consider moving on.

Just ignore all his texts, emails calls IM's whatever else... apply no contact and see what his true intentions are.

Most likely he has a new girl and wants to make sure its going to work out with her before he gets rid of you completely. Make him miss you and disappear off the face of the earth starting right now!

Thanks guys! Well I called him two weeks ago and that was the only time I contacted him. But when I deleted him I think that triggered it maybe for him? Do you think he is embarrassed for saying that? And doesn't know what to say? I didn't want to ask and I'm not going to bug him because like you said disappear. I want to make him chase me right.

Yea he is embarrassed most likely because he knows he probably shouldn't have said that. Yea you definitely want to make him chase you and if he doesn't then he doesn't care anymore

You don't want to play games. If you really want answers to your questions... ask... the only person that can tell you the truth his him.

I would ask him.. but I figure if I don't get the answer I want ill be hurt more. It hurts he said that already when he was drunk and I don't know why. But I would rather leave him alone. And I'm already moving on. If he doesn't say anything later than I know. Its just so confusing cause to say that is so not like him. Stupid games.

Well, when u are drunk u think u love a guy u met just 1 hour ago.
Don't do anything, don' think too much.
If he feels something he will come or call.

You're doing the right thing... if you ask him he'll just tell you some vague answer and it will likely lead to more confusion. Also if you ask him he'll just lead you by a string likely and will play with you more because then he'll know you're there for him.

You so for now I'm moving on trying... but like they say love takes time. If I felt it was real.. do you think time away a couple months will or could work out later? I'm not dwelling on it lol just curious what you guys think

Possibly... if he loves you he'll come back... if he doesn't then its over but Don't sit around waiting for him- get on with your life and when you're ready try meering someone new

I know thank you I'm trying not to wait. I mean I'm not! But I tried so hard to move on. Deleting his Facebook was the last step. And then when he sends texts like that it throws me back off! So annoying! I just want to escape or for him to make up his mind or leave me alone.

I went through the same thing a few months ago so take it from someone who's been through it already- just hang in there and try to enjoy life

Thank you I appreciate it. I seem to have no one to talk to anymore. My friends and family are getting sick of me :(

Come back here and vent when you need to.
And maybe change that phone number?:-)

Thank you. But one more thing. Some people say I should call or text and ask why he said that. But I've already tried to get him back once. I feel like ill just get let down again. If he wanted to be with me shouldn't he contact me?

Yes and he s not knocking on your door begging you to take him back is he? Protect your heart and ignore him.

thank you. but one more thing. some people say i should call or text and ask why he said that. but ive already tried to get him back once. i feel like ill just get let down again. if he wanted to be with me shouldnt he contact me??

Just listen to my advice- Don't EVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN... dont respond to any texts, emails, IM'S Facebook nothing... move on, move on

I think everyone is right and to just move on. Why did he tell you this drunk? Maybe taking him off your Facebook hit a nerve with him because he thought you would be pining over him longer. Its possible he doesn't like the idea of you moving on and his feelings are mixed since the break up is still new. I would just let it be. Alcohol was involved in his choice to tell you he loved you. When I have drinks I love everyone. I am sure he has feelings for you but he made a bad choice in the way to show you. Keep doing what your doing and move forward with you life.

I don't think people necessarily tell the truth when drunk. I think nobody likes being rejected and he feels bad that you appear to have moved on. He may think that the pain he's feeling means he loves you, but it doesn't. I doubt he really knows whether he loves you or not. I think if he was really in love, he would have told you before the break up.

You do NOT want him to chase you. You want him to move on with his own life.

DON'T ask him anything. It will only lead to trouble and you will end up feeling bad either way.

This one is closest to the truth, I think:

Or is he just trying to keep me hanging around until he figures out what he wants?

if he wanted to be with me shouldnt he contact me??
If someone loves u he will find a way to talk to you,but not to send text message once and than keep silence.

Threads merged again

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.

I suggest you follow the no contact rules:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/nc-rules-faqs-332732.html

And fight any urges that you have to talk to him:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/fighting-urges-break-nc-rules-351302.html

Any communication with him, whether he contacts you or vice versa will only add to the confusion and prolong the misery.

Block him out of your life until you've completely healed from this breakup. Once you've healed, you will be in a better position to revisit the situation because you will be more objective about the situation.

So we've been broken up for two months now. Its been a couple weeks since his I love you drunk text. Than a week ago he told my happy birthday and tried to talk to me. I did respond... Than thanksgiving he text my saying happy thanksgiving. I decided to not respond. Than two days later late at night I get a drunk text.. im sure he was drunk.. saying I miss you. And this time I didn't answer again. He hasn't said anything since. Why is he texting me? He's the one whowanted to break up. I know me not answering will help me heal. But will it scare him and maybe make him want to be with me? In some way I hope it does. Because I do still miss him. But I've decided to do the NC after 2 months. Which I should have done along time ago. So maybe it will freak him out? I just don't get men! Why does he keep bothering me, its like he's trying to keep me hanging around! Any adviceeee please?!

He might miss you, but has anything changed? So things will end up just as before. Accept the messages for what they are, meaningless.

So we've been broken up for two months now. Its been a couple weeks since his i love you drunk text. Than a week ago he told my happy birthday and tried to talk to me. I did respond....Than thanksgiving he text my saying happy thanksgiving. I decided to not respond. Than two days later late at night i get a drunk text..im sure he was drunk..saying i miss you. And this time i didnt answer again. He hasnt said anything since. Why is he texting me? hes the one whowanted to break up. I know me not answering will help me heal. But will it scare him and maybe make him want to be with me? In some way i hope it does. because i do still miss him. But ive decided to do the NC after 2 months. Which i should have done along time ago. So maybe it will freak him out? I just dont get men!! Why does he keep bothering me, its like hes trying to keep me hanging around!! Any adviceeee please?!???!!

He's contacting you because he feels guilty for breaking up with you. You took it hard, he felt bad, now he thinks that he has to make amends some how. He also doesn't want you to hate him. No one does.

Will he come back? I doubt it. If you're ignoring him simply to make that happen then you're never going to heal and move on.

No Contact is a way of getting over a person, not a way to win them back.

Stick to NC and get on with your life. I guarantee he's getting on with his.

All it is... is words... it doesn't change anything... I'm going through a breakup now and I been in NC for a month and I slip up a few days ago and trust me, every time u slip up.. you fall back in your healing process.. trying to figure out what everything means. It best to change your number and stop the pain before it comes. Coming from a guy and bunch of us here... if I want you to know I love you, I'm pretty sure I'm going to try harder then a text message.

Thanks for the advice guys

all it is ... is words ... it doesn't change anything ... I'm going through a breakup now and I been in NC for a month and i slip up a few days ago and trust me, every time u slip up .. you fall back in your healing process .. trying to figure out what everything means. It best to change your number and stop the pain before it comes. Coming from a guy and bunch of us here... if I want you to know I love you, I'm pretty sure i'm going to try harder then a text message.

Good answer fear. I am glad to see your understanding the no contact and can now support others.

The sad truth is, having vastly different schedules can be a major impediment to romance.
Relationships take two things - time and effort. Some people really don't have the time to make the effort and understand that it's better to avoid the whole mess at this point in their life instead of getting into something with someone knowing that it's only going to end in heartbreak for both parties.

Don't put your life on hold for him. Move on with your life. Go out with friends, date, and have fun while you're young. :)

Ive been single now for a little over 2 months. But there's this guy who I guess likes me.. and wants to hang out. But I'm still in love with my ex I'm not over him. Should I still hang out with this new guy? Will it help me get over my ex? I don't know what to do!!

There's nothing wrong with hanging out, just don't rush into anything until you are ready

If you're not over your ex you're not ready for a new relationship. Rebounding's not a good idea and it isn't fair on the other person.
Heal first,then you'll be ready to start dating again.

You can hang with anyone you want, but don't think jumping from guy to guy will help you get over the ex, healing and having fun will, forming another attachment won't.

Rebounds are unfair to other people, and using others for your own reasons, is a bit selfish. That can't be good, and how would you feel being used to feel better, by someone who had just gone through what you did?

Ok I seriously need help!! I've realized how bad my ex treated my so I'm finally starting to get over him, its been 3 months now. And the last 3 weeks I've been talking to this guy. He seems to really like me. I like him to, he's like no guy I've ever met before. But he's SOOOO nice. Like I'm not used to guys this nice. Im used to the more aggressive and sarcastic guys. I like him a lot though, I think I'm just confused. I already told him I'm not ready to go fast or date so he knows... but is it possible I'm not having strong feelings because I'm not used to this kind of guy? And I don't want to let him go because he truly is a one of a kind. Someone please help!! Im so sooo so damn confused!!

If you already told him your not ready to go fast or date then just hang and be his friend. This way your both getting to know each other and seeing where you stand for a future relationship. Just be friends. There is nothing wrong with that. Let it grow from that understanding first.

Ok i seriously need help!!! I've realized how bad my ex treated my so im finally starting to get over him, its been 3 months now. And the last 3 weeks ive been talking to this guy. He seems to really like me. I like him to, he's like no guy ive ever met before. But hes SOOOO nice. Like im not used to guys this nice. Im used to the more aggressive and sarcastic guys. I like him alot tho, i think im just confused. I already told him im not ready to go fast or date so he knows... but is it possible im not having strong feelings because im not used to this kind of guy? And i dont wanna let him go because he truely is a one of a kind. Someone please help!!! Im so sooo soo damn confused!!!

You been broken up for three months. You are still getting over your ex. You still aren't 'over him'. I think you are getting there.

This sounds like a nice guy. However, it has only been three weeks. Give yourself time to let new feelings emerge. Just be careful that you aren't using this guy to get over the ex. You don't want to turn this into a rebound relationship. Both of you deserve better than that.

Don't worry about 'strong' feelings right now. If you did feel them or profess to feeling them, then I would worry about this being a rebound and that you were going to fast.

I am glad that you recognize the need to go slow and get to know each other as friends.

You have done an excellent job of taking everybody's advice! You are moving on so well! Congrats! There is a time after a break up where you think someone is great but it just doesn't hit you too well. This may be one of them. You must keep dating. I went through the same. I was dating this girl and she is a lot of fun and all but something is missing. You can't force it. Just have fun and go with the flow. You don't have to like this guy. He is most likely going to stay in your "friend zone". But it's nice to have a good friend. Keep meeting people. But just to keep your eyes and heart open, listen to this:
You said your ex was something very special and you wonder if you can find someone again. Now you met someone that is one of a kind. See how you moved on? Sometimes our mind is limited in seeing the possibilities of life and circumstances that await. So I'm sure soon you will meet the greatest person ever! Hang in there and be happy! You are being so strong and doing a great job.You should be proud of yourself. I sure am!!

AWWW thank you emopunk! That was really sweet and I really appreciate it!! And your right there is something missing. I think it's that special feeling... Maybe it will come the more I get to know him?? It sucks because he is an amazing person. I guess I just need to take it slow! Although, everything else is there but that damn feeling I had with my ex!! But your right I am moving on and I am proud of myself. I just hope I get that feeling with this guy. He's just so nice and sweet, its kind of like a turn off! Which is weird! Its just something I'm not used too! Lol grr I hate this hahaha

OKay, so the guy I was kind of dating wasn't working. He just wasn't really my type. But I met a guy on new years who I am really interested in. I am finally over my ex so I know I'm ready. We went on a date about a week ago. He picked me up and was saw a movie. We didn't have much to do, so we talked for like two hours. It was really good conversation and I think I like him. So my question is its been four days since the date. And before the date we never really talked much just texted once in awhile. Well its been four days and I haven't heard from him. I know that's normal but I'm wondering how long could it be until he calls me? I should wait for him right? I thought he was interested but I guess you never know. Maybe he'll call this weekend haha? Any suggestionsssss??

Just continue with your life and see how it goes-dont put your life on hold waiting for him to get in touch.

I was doing the same thing you are doing Natalie,post my break-up.Which is,I used to go on dates,meet new people and feel I was ready for the next step,i.e getting serious.So the moment I even remotely started liking someone,I started thinking "maybe this is the real thing" without actually taking it nice and easy.

The problem with human psyche is,once we get hurt and then get over it,we sort of hold ourselves ransom to finding people and ways to make us happy.In that process,we keep putting pressure on ourselves and others to "perform" in certain ways and soon,the something we were enjoying gets way too deep and serious and out of hand.

There's an underlying sense of very subtle panic in your words about "what if this goes wrong again,what if I dont find the real thing by such and such date,age,time,what if he doesnt call etc etc"--you may not even realise there's this panic(I never did actually!)... the secret is in just letting loose,cutting out on ALL expectations from anyone you are seeing right now,breaking free of any negative emotion like insecurity,doubt and all that.

Just go out there with one motto : HAVING FUN.Complete and total fun.No holds barred kind of fun.The best things happen when you are way too busy having this kind of fun! All the best.

No need to rush into anything even though you say that you're over your last relationship. You haven't broken up for long, so it's still the rebound phase.

Just keep getting to know more people.

Threads merged

To all who post here. Natalie 25 and Natalie 26 are the same person so know the threads have been merged, and edited.

Well here I am again guys. 5 months ago my ex broke up with me. I was devastated. He had a lot going on his life so he didn't think he would have the time to dedicate to me. I eventually got over it and started seeing other people. But between these 5 months we've been broken up I swear twice a month I get a drunk text or call. Saying I love, I miss you blah blah. So maybe drunk speaks the truth? Yet, he's so busy and I think he's scared he doesn't want to date till his degree is done. Which I guess I understand some people are like that. Just the other day I get a drunk ttext and call. I got really mad and told him to stop or man up and say it sober. And he did. He asked me to meet him the other day so I did... We talked for like an hour. He wanted to say sorry in person.. and be selfish and see me... He didn't say he wanted to be with me like I thought. But he kept saying he never said he didn't want to me with me.. He asked if we could be friends and see where it goes. We haven't been friends this whole 5 months so I decided to say yes. You never know what could happen right? We both kept saying how much we missed each other and how hard it was to see each other. It was so weird! Why doesn't he just want to be with me? It frustrates me. I told him I'm seeing someone else, which I am.. just to see if he would get jealous lol... Do people sometimes go back to friends and become relationship later on. has that ever happened to any of you guys? Taking it slow again? Like I want things to go back to where they were. But I don't want to get my hopes up... that's why I'm scared being friends that all my feelings will come back.. But I'm going to keep seeing this other guy and be friends with my ex. I mean he wanted to me, so doesn't that mean he still does care about me? I'm just so confused!!
Please help my confused head. :))

I would honestly move on from this ex boyfriend. I don't think he has anything to offer you, excepting for being drunk all the time. Do you really want to be in a relationship withsome like that? I would cut all contact off with him. Your dating someone else now and focus on him. You can't be friends with him, its too soon. I don't think your boyfriend your dating now would go for that.

Well the guy I'm seeing now I barely see or talk to. He's busy just like my ex was. I'm like cursed! I know it will be hard being friends with my ex but I kind of would rather that not at all.. if that makes sense

What's wrong with you trying to build something with a drunk who has no time for you. Now you want to be the drunks friend in hopes it leads to more, but your seeing a guy who also doesn't have time for you.

Get someone who does, and forget these busy guys. What's worse your so desperate and needy of a guy, you take anything you can get. That's not smart or healthy as you see what your getting? A busy drunk, and a guy who has other priorities other than you.

Looking for love in all the wrong places is a curse you have brought on yourself.

Why have you started a new user name, no one has the slightest IDEA of what relationship you are talkinga about, these are not blogs,

You are not auppose to merely start new user names, your old one was the same except for 25, but now is 26.

I am one of the moderators and you will need to explain why you have started a new user name

Ok so you see that you are going in circles here? You get the same 'type' of boyfriend and yet you don't see that you may be a factor in the decision making process.

A relationship is a partnership, through good times and bad. If you aren't by his choice in his life, then don't allow yourself to get your hopes for something that most likely won't happen.

To quote Tal, never make someone a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you an option in theirs.

Both these guys are emotionally unavailable and you don't need either of them in your life.

Stay away from the boyfriend scene for some time and find out what its like to be a happy single.

Ex's are ex's for a reason, it doesn't seem like either one of you are ready for the relationship

I'm sorry, but he doesn't want to be with you in a mature and loving sort of way. You were without him for 5 months, you can do more. You're returning and hoping for nothing. If you really wanted him as a friend or boyfriend neither of it would be so hard and painful. Move on. You'll feel better with time and without drama.

It is possible to reconnect but it will not be good. There will always be resentment. On top of this he broke up with you cause he was too busy and now he is just as busy. All he could make for you was an hour to talk? Should have been dinner or something that lasted much longer. You will not be able to stay friends given your past and you new boyfriend will not like this, on top of the fact that you don't know what the heck you want yourself. Why be with anyone who doesn't have time for you? You are a princess and that is in my opinion how you should be treated. A man is here to make a woman happy and it doesn't sound like either of these two have the time to make you happy. (of course the opposite is true about women as well). I suggest not going after this guy. Honestly I have to wonder why some people ask such questions here, they already know the answer clear as day but still they ask. Really how did you want us to answer? Here's one for you, why not have them both and just have fun and break both their hearts? Or go back to the ex, get dumped, and go back to the other ex to get dumped. I mean if that's what you wanted to hear then I guess you asking wasn't as irrational as it seems but come on.

To all who post here. Natalie 25 and Natalie 26 are the same person so know the threads have been merged, and edited.