Hi der,

Ok basically what the story is I have been seen this man for the last 4 months and last night the subject of threesomes came up, he asked me if I had ever had I, and me been totally honest cause I believe in always telling the truth told him that I did have 1 about 9 yrs ago and he totally blew up over it?? He said that he was hurt by what I told him and that I shouldn't have told him but he was the 1 who asked the question. He can't seem to get his head around it at all. Was it to early in a relationship to share something like that with him?? Please can someone tell me what I should do or should have done.

Thanks

Brassygirl

If he asked, you have to tell the truth. You can't lie about it.

He's just going to find it in himself to accept the truth. It's his problem at the moment. Try to talk it out with him to see what exactly is bothering him and see if you can work it out.

But either way, it's up to him if he can overcome this fact and move on with your relationship.

If he asked, I can't imagine that it was too soon. I think the bigger question is why did he react that way? It's in the past. I don't understand people who react like that over something that happened in the past. You can't change what happened before you met him. I don't think you did anything wrong. He asked you a question and you answered. At least you didn't lie about it.

If he asked, you have to tell the truth. You can't lie about it.

He's just going to find it in himself to accept the truth. It's his problem at the moment. Try to talk it out with him to see what exactly is bothering him and see if you can work it out.

But either way, it's up to him if he can overcome this fact and move on with your relationship.

Haha! I think we posted at the same time.

It was NINE years ago, and he asked for the information. Is he a jealous person? This may be a red flag.

Threads merged

Hi, I need some advice please because honestly I don't know where I stand or am I just wasting my time. Ok basically I have been meeting this guy for the last 4 months, I am crazy about him and I get the feeling he likes me too!! He was the 1st to make the move and chased after me but the thing that is bothering me is that when I ask him what is the story between us he say that we are friends with privilages, when he said that to me I asked him to explain this to me as if this was the case why contact me 2 - 3 times a day, wants to meet up with me every evening when get home from work, wants me to stay at his all weekend and if I go out with the girls questions me to the last of who was I out with, who I was talking to and get this who was I with?? If just friends with privilages should this even bother him?? Has anyone any advice of what to say to him or what exactly is going on in his head.

First problem, you were giving a loaded gun and asked to shot yourself now or later. If you lied, and then the truth came out later, you lied to him about it. He's angry. You tell he now, he gets mad, still lose. You made the right decision, it was 9 years ago!

Second problem, you need to decide what you want first, then worry about the relationship aspect of things

For someone who doesn't consider himself to be in a relationship, he sounds like he is being rather controlling. I don't see that behavior getting any better. Probably, it will get worse.

You need to decide if you want to be in any type of relationship with someone who keeps tabs on your movements but doesn't consider you anymore than a playmate. Who also can't handle the answers to questions he asks.

If, I were in your shoes, I would be leaving him to his own life and to find his "benefits" elsewhere. I would also be very careful about how you break off the relationship because I don't think he will give up what he wants easily.