My family is very broken and have been for a very long time. My mother bless her has a lot of emotional problems, and my father was never home because of the military. When I was six years old my mom had a mental breakdown to the point where she could no longer care for us. My dad couldn't come home from where he was so my older sister, brother, and myself were sent to live with my grandparents in Texas. I can remember how I felt on that day. I was terrified for my mom and I mostly stayed silent for the first few weeks.
After about a month my Grandfather (Pa) had finally gotten me out of my shell. And my Grandmother (Nanny) had made it her job to teach me how to be a proper young lady. They became my parents when my birth ones were unable.
Almost six months after my mom's breakdown she came home. She was trying to fit herself back in and eventually did but I never got close to her again. And my father would come and visit when he was on leave but I stayed close to Nanny and Pa.
As the years went by I grew up and stayed close to them. They lived literally two minutes away. My Pa had helped me through a lot of my own personal battles and always tried his best to understand me. My Nanny would always listen when I had a bad day and try to show an effective way to handle the situtaution.
I'm saying all this because I want people to know how great they were to my family.
On August 21st 2008, My Pa passed away of a staff infection at the age of 78.. 7 weeks to the day later my Nanny died in her sleep at the age of 84..
I know that they lived good long lives but I still hurt.. I feel like my life isn't the same.. everyone keeps telling me that time will heal the wounds I have but my heart feels like it missing something.. It's been a year since Pa passed and is going on a year since Nanny passed and I still cry all the time and I keep thinking about them.
They meant so much to me and I don't know what to do without them..

I'm sorry for your loss. They were like parents to you. I lost both my parents just over a year ago. My mother was 52 and my dad 61. I was 26 at the time. They were in a car accident. My mother died on impact. I moved home to take care of my father, but he died within the month. I can relate to not only your loss, but the fact you lost them both in a short amount of time. On top of that, you have the additional concern of your mother.

Most days I do well, but I still have days that are difficult. Just 2 weeks ago, my favorite aunt (my mom's sister) died unexpectedly at the age of 58. It was quite painful for all of us. I let myself think of them often, even if it causes me to cry. Crying is healthy, but along with the crying I also remember the good times and have great memories of all of them. I visit the area in the mountains where my parents' ashes were spread often, enjoying a day of hiking. That was an activity we did often together. I've made photo albums and journals where I can express how I feel, what I am thinking, and record memories. At first it was very hard on me to think of them, but with time it has become easier and brings me a lot of joy. Time does heal the wounds, but sometimes you need additional help. I did go to grief counseling last year to help me cope and to gain tools to make it easier to accept.

Talk to your family and friends. Embrace your feelings, even on the bad days. Take it a day at a time, but try to do your best each day. There might be days where you are overwhelmed, but they will pass. Just deal the best you can. I make it my goal to do my best and think of it as honoring my parents. Good luck.

To still be feeling grief and sadness a year after 2 significant people in your life have died is absolutely natural. As a society, I think that we underestimate the effect that losing important others in our lives has on our long-term emotional and physical well-being.

There is no set time that grief should last. For some people it may be a year, for others many years. You are still mourning the passing of two people that you loved dearly, and no one except you can set a time limit on this. It is normal to be sad, to be depressed to feel as if life will never be the same. And it won't, because they are gone.

Just Looking has offered some great advice. Talk to other people, your family and friends. Seek the assistance of a counselor if you need to. Watch sad movies and cry your eyes out. Write down your thoughts and sadness to get it out of you. Be kind to yourself.

The other thing that you must slowly accept is that life goes on. You were blessed to have two wonderful grandparents that have supported you and provided you with great advice and life skills. What would your nanny and pa want you to do? They would want you to get on with your life and remember them with love and affection. They would want you to remember the good times. They would want you to be happy.

Your heart will ALWAYS miss them because you love them and there will often be sadness associated with this. Let yourself feel this sadness but know that in your mind you can talk to them any time you want.

Also know that, it's true, time will ease some of the intensity of what you're feeling. Be involved in your work, your friends, you life - make an effort to involve yourself with other people and other activities - this is what will help you to move through the grief.

I wish you well - live a good life, like your grandparents did.