(from california)my babymama left the state(to virginia) without saying nothing.. I served her and we are waitng for the court date... my question is she got a restraining order after she got served would that affect me? She left when my son was about 5 months old and know he's about to be 8 months old.. I'm trying to establish parental relationship

Reasons Fathers Going Through Divorce Should Prepare for Getting Served with a Restraining Order

1. Your ex will want to end the relationship and come out as much of a “winner” as the law will allow (and believe me, it will allow a LOT!) I'm sorry to say it but our legal system is often manipulated in favor of women. If the husband was an actual abuser in any way, then yes, a restraining order should be served. If he actually committed a crime then he should be criminally charged and the kids taken away from him immediately. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case and many innocent fathers are faced with fraudulent protection orders or restraining orders and dragged needlessly through the court system.

2. Your ex and her lawyer will want gain an advantage in a divorce. Many immoral divorce lawyers routinely advise women to get a restraining order so they can win custody, higher alimony and much more. That is exactly what my ex's lawyer did to me.

3. Your ex will want to quickly get custody of your children without a hearing. Yes, this is possible! Moreover, your ex-wife can actually have a secret hearing that you are NOT even allowed to attend.

4. The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) provides Federal funding for the States to set up “professional victims” groups, whose sole purpose is to discriminate against men and perpetuate the stereotype that men are abusers. That's even if we are good, innocent dads in a bad marriage. This act financially incentivizes the “Divorce Industry” to take unnecessary actions against innocent fathers.

5. Your ex will simply watch you suffer because she's angry. I went through nearly 2 years of restraining order hell because my ex was simply angry with me. Because of this, I was continually subjected to criminal prosecution. My ex actually went so far as to tell all of my children that I did not want to see them even though I was prevented from doing so by the restraining order. It took me four (4) court hearings just to re-establish visitation with them while all that time my ex was telling them that I just did not want to see them. To this day, despite everything I have done to get them back in my life, I am sure they still believe her lies to a certain extent.

6. Your ex will want to control and manipulate you. Many ex-wives want you to beg for their mercy. As a caring father, you don't want to be kept out of your children's lives. You don't want to miss their basketball games, softball games, martial arts competitions, and dance recitals. You don't want to miss their birthday parties and their graduations. You don't want to miss watching your children grow up. If you don't have the proper knowledge, women can hang your children that you dearly love, your financial independence and your freedom over your head to get whatever they want from you.

7. Your ex will want to stop you from modifying custody after your child expresses a desire to live with you. To make sure my children felt unloved by me my wife didn't let me buy them any gifts. She never answered my phone calls. I was threatened not to show up when my son was very sick and in the hospital, even though he asked for me to be there at his side. And, she told them lies about me. My oldest son didn't speak to me for 11 months because of her lies.

These are just seven out of thousands of motives that women have to get a restraining order against innocent fathers. Now I wrote this article for one reason – and only reason only. I want to prepare to you for the inevitable. I didn't think it would happen to me – yet it did and because I was unprepared, I went through 20 months of restraining order hell.
Child Custody | Restraining Order 911 Blog | Ron Lasorsa, The Children's Advocate (http://www.restrainingorder911.com/blog/tag/child-custody/)

What did you file in the California court system ? Also what court issued the restraining order and were you notified at any time about it before it became permanent ?

I'm trying to file parental relationship... or paternity... she filed it in virginia and they only gave me less than 2 weeks to go to the courtr date.. I heard I can appeal.. but I want to see what happens after court.. but I don't know what 2 do.. I have intamite messages and pictures from her after the restraining order and messages that she loves me and misses me.. and supposely she was scrared for her life but know I'm afraid I'm going to loose my son

Comply with all conditions of the temporary restraining order. This may mean that you will need to surrender any rifles, shotguns or handguns to the police until the matter has been resolved. Read the TRO thoroughly, and make sure that you understand all of the conditions, remembering that full and docile compliance will decrease the chances of a PRO being issued

Hire an attorney who has experience in dealing with restraining orders. Your attorney will be able to review the case and determine whether you are a threat to the party who issued the restraining order. The court may view your hiring of a lawyer as an act of good faith, which may give you more credibility in court.

Fight the restraining order by filing an answer to the TRO. This is your opportunity to tell your side of the story, and to object to the reasons the order was originally issued. Have an attorney review your answer before you file it to determine whether your statement is in your best interests.

Tell your side of the story at the mandatory hearing, where the temporary restraining order will be reviewed by the court and a decision will be made whether to grant a PRO. Remember to remain calm and follow the instructions of your attorney explicitly. Any emotional outbursts or visible signs of stress will surely undermine your case.

Resist the temptation to discuss the restraining order with the issuing party outside of the court. The order was issued for a purpose and any attempt to ignore or circumvent a TRO or PRO may result in additional criminal charges, such as contempt of court.

Remain vigilant and focused if the TRO still turns into a PRO, despite your efforts to fight the order. Permanent restraining orders are usually not truly permanent and may last anywhere from a few weeks to a few years. By complying with all conditions of the PRO, you reduce the chances of the court order being renewed when the expiration date comes up.