My son has been married 5 years. He has two boys, 8 and 10. He was in the Army and serving in Iraq. His boys were living with their mother until we found out she was using drugs and the boys were not attending school. The clergymen went to Iraq and brought my son home so he could take custody of the boys, his wife was instrumental in helping with this. He did get full custody. My son and his wife have a baby boy now, he will be 1 Jan 1st. My daughter-in-law has now given my son a choice; he picks her or his boys. She doesn't want anything to do with them now. They are typical young boys and she can't handle them. My son works a lot with his job and the responsibility falls on her, she works also. He has a hard time handling the baby so her mom takes him often, days at a time. I don’t know if I should try to help or keep to myself and let them work it out.

If she gives him the choice your kids or me, that is easy, help her pack her bags, she should be supportive of him and his boys.