I'm not happy at home. I feel like I have to wait for my parents to do anything, and I have no independence. The place we live is small, and there is not much opportunity to "get somewhere". I've been toying with many ideas, and this is my latest one.

I don't have a job, thus my funds are limited. It's hard to find work here (in many places, I'm sure) because of it's size. I love my family, but we clash sometimes and I always hated this place. I'm miserable here and don't do anything but sleep, watch TV, or get on the computer-especially since my friends are in college (I left). I could go live with my family in Pennsylvania, but my grandparents are on a fixed income and paying rent to family would be weird and things probably would get awkward (isn't it usually a bad idea to mix family and business?).

So, for fun, I looked on craigslist for people searching for roomates in Florida. I found an add for an elderly woman offering full utilities and space in her home on the lake for only $200 a month-so long as whoever would help her a bit because she has arthritis. I could do that. I have $500 in savings, $100 in the bank, and my friend just returned the $90 I lent her. I may have a little more in the bank even, I'm not certain. It's not A LOT by far, but I could afford a bus from here to NYC (and get a discount with my college ID, even though I'm technically not a student at the moment), a plane from Newark to the city in Florida, and the first month's rent. I could just walk the six miles at night from here to the bus to avoid an argument or an attempt to stop me. It's a big city, so I could probably find work there fairly quickly, and in time for next month's rent. The ad was just posted today, so it is super tempting.

I'm 18, so it's not like I am running away. It might even make things easier for my family. I probably won't have the nerve to actually follow through with it, but what does anyone think?

Also, if I declared myself an independent and applied for college, would I receive decent financial aid?

(I just know I need to do something.)

I can't comment on what you should do... its really up to you and my opinion is meaningless.

As for financial aid... sorry... doesn't work that way. Unless your parents are deceased, their income counts against your financial aid for at least the next few years.

First, you need to "grow" where you have been planted. If you can't "grow" and show maturity while at home, you will have difficulty doing so elsewhere.

Becoming a young adult always brings with it growing pains. During this stage of life, parents want to give their teenagers opportunities to show them (the parents) that they are ready to "leave the nest." No parent wants to release their children into the "world" without first teaching them about making good decisions, thinking things through, being a good manager of their time, and having a good grasp of financial planning. Parents want to make sure that there children are mature enough to face what the "world" will offer. Do you have any idea of the responsibilities that you will face once you leave home. There is rent, renter's insurance, car insurance, cost of food, gas, utilities, college/school, clothes, entertainment etc...

You have already mentioned what you spend your time doing, and it does not sound positive in the least. A change in attitude will mean a change of heart. Make the most of every day. Enjoy your time with your parents, since YOU WILL eventually be leaving. If you have brothers and sisters, be a positive role model for them. Be available to your family.

Also, for long range planning - make a list of goals and priorities. It is important to have direction in your life. What do you see yourself doing this year, one year from now, then five years from now. Work on a plan and stick with it.

We all clash with our parents from time-to-time. That is part of growing up and also part of being a kid. When you grow and mature, the clashing eases up because you begin to see the truths that your parents and adults are trying to give you.

Most importantly, learn to be a good listener. It says a lot about a person that can listen quietly and give a good healthy response back. Your time will come soon enough for moving away

I'm still getting used to the idea that I am considered a legal adult now and can do what I want within the letter of the law. It was just a really random and cool opportunity. Most of the other offers wanted a minimum $300 for rent, and this place looked nice and sounded nicer. I just don't want to say I let something pass me by.

I realize I should wait at least a little while. I applied at Walmart, so if I can get in there, I could probably transfer to Florida. Then next week I take the 5hr course for driving, so I should at least hold out for my license. I wouldn't have a car, so gas money isn't an issue. More like bus money.

I did mention it to my mom actually, just to see what she would say. She didn' really offer much input. She did confirm what steve said about not being able to file as an independent for a few years.

I don't know how renter's insurance works and all that. The ad didn't even mention a deposit. It just requested "a calm, caring, non-smoking, female roommate (to give minimal assistance) to arthritic woman with daily living activities" in exchange for full utilities, wireless, and low rent ($200).

My real concern is how college would work if I moved out. If I went in Florida or online, then it would be fine. Then I know I'd get decent financial aid with my parents, but I'm not sure how it would work if I moved out and made money too.

I just feel stifled and dependent. I do not like living here, and I don't like New York. I want to live some place warm and sunny and coastal (ie Florida).

I have one older sister. It's just me and my parents here. I do watch movies with them now and then when they get off work.

When I say "clash", I don't mean I go against house rules or anything. I've never even been grounded. I just mean that we have stupid fights sometimes because they don't quite understand me, without going into further detail.

I know how I am living is not positive right now, but when you can't drive, are home alone from 8-4, and live six miles from town; there's not much else to do. Plus I take after my dad's mom, so New York is just too cold, especially this time of year. I've long since outgrown the swingset in my backyard anyway.

I can be a good listener when I want to be. As for my maturity level, I'd say I can go either way. I think and plan the way many people my age would never think to, but then my goals in life would likely be classified as unrealistic and immature. I have goals, I'm just not sure how best to achieve them. That's why I am thinking of maybe moving out on my own and going from there. I just hate sitting idle. I want to be doing things and making some sort of progress in any direction.

I would be really leary of this plan without your parents consent, and I know that's probably not what you want to hear.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. In addition to paying rent to this arthritic woman, you would have to find a job to do so. You would also have to help her. What is the degree of her disability, and just how much work would you have to do. Does it require housework, cooking, shopping, getting her in and out of her car etc. With rent that cheap, I think there is a lot more to the job requirements than you may think.

One thing is for sure, you can plan, and you are creative. Why not put that to good use and volunteer in your community instead of sleeping, watching TV and putting time in on the computer. While paying jobs may be few and far between, that could open up doors for you, keep you busy, give you some sense of accomplishment, and help others at the same time.

The one thing I would advise is not to take any drastic steps without talking to your parents. Run it by them about staying with your grandparents for a few months where there may be more job opportunities for you, and you can pay your own keep.

I hope that you decide to return to college, and until you do, that you stay close to home, and maybe try a little harder to find work, paid or volunteer. May as well do something productive while you figure out where you want to go, and what you really want to do with your life.

Well I am going to apply to a few colleges now I have an idea of a major. The reason I searched this particular city in Florida is because I found a college there I like. However, it's said to be really good and trying to maintain small class sizes, thus fairly selective. My scores are high enough and it's affordable, but I probably won't get in because of the extra curriculars and volunteering aspect of the application (I used to volunteer at a therapeutic riding stables and was in girl scouts from daisies to juniors, but colleges only care about 9-12).

I did tell my mom. She left when she was 18 or 19 for Washington to live with her boyfriend, and she was born and raised in New York as well. She only ever came back because my grandma got cancer (she survived it). Then my dad ran off to Puerto Rico as a senior in high school for a concert and made trips through Canada and across the U.S. when he was still very young. He moved out by 18 or 19. They may not like it, but I think they'd understand. My sister went to college in Pennsylvania for her sophomore year and never came back (she now rents a house with her boyfriend while working full time and attending college online), so it wouldn't be a completely new concept.

I know, I'm a skeptic too. It does sound too good to be true, but I wouldn't just accept the terms without questioning anything. There's a number for a man (which I would ask his relationship to the woman, though it makes sense she wouldn't be handling the ad herself if she truly is arthritic and elderly). It says to call for details. It says "minor daily tasks". Anyone who moved in with her would need to work to afford rent anyway, so I'm sure she can probably manage on her own for the most part if it's understood she'll be alone while they work. Besides, I wouldn't mind helping with housework and cooking a bit for rent that decent.

There's more opportunity for work where my grandparents are, but I have to wait until I get my license first at least. Then I don't want to keep uprooting-I need a steady job. Then the whole paying them rent thing would be weird I think, if they would require it (I just assumed). Then I'm still worried about what the rest of my family thinks of me for dropping out. I want to present them with something positive, not lean on them for help to somewhere, if that makes sense.

I wouldn't mind volunteering at the stables again. However, I have to work around my parent's schedules, I really need to have some income of my own, and I'm not sure how the stables are run now because I was 13 and it's under new management.

I know I'm young, but I am also impatient. I don't want to wait for everything to be perfect and waste time. Does that make sense?

Yes, it indeed does make sense. You've got a really good head on your shoulders, and you are due more credit than I gave you.

It sounds like you're ready to make some moves, and I understand your frustration too. I have a son who went to University, got two degrees, honours, and now teaches English in Korea. He's planning to return in March next year and go to law school.

And I didn't think he was ready to leave home, he was only 18 too. ;)

I think its safe to say that all these loose ends you have right now will eventually mould into a plan. When that happens, there will be no stopping you.

My advice to you is to just keep all your options open, and keep on keeping your parents in the loop. Maybe you can get into the stables long enough to get a reference from them too which would help.

All the best of luck to you.

It does sound like you have been trying to put a plan together. And, I know how frustrating it can be to feel "boxed in", bored, and wishing you were somewhere else. My husband's work has had us living overseas and in several states in the US. None of the places have been places that I would have personally chosen, but I adjusted to my surroundings and made it work with what I had to work with.

Also, I have four children, ages 20, 18, 16, and 14. They have had to face the same as you. They have not always liked where we have lived, but as parents, we have kept them encouraged and content as they have gone through the process of spreading their wings. They, too, have had times of restlessness, but we suggested different types of work that would keep them occupied while teaching them responsibilities. For example: dog walking, babysitting, cutting grass, house cleaning, house sitting, or working part-time at a business. They have managed to stay busy. It may have not been their ideal job, but it gave them money to work with and taught them valuable lessons.

My two oldest are in college but still live at home, but both of them will be leaving this next semester to live on campus. It is so very important to be "grounded" before you "take flight." Before you take on any job opportunity that will take you away from home-base, just make sure you have thoroughly checked out all that will be involved with your venture. Good planning will mean that you have put in "other options" in case the original plan does not work. Let your parents be involved. Just because a person is 18 and of legal age does not mean that he has been given "perfect reasoning" or the ability to make correct choices. Even adults need help sometimes when planning.

I do hope that you are able to go to college and it is something that you will pursue. I will be thinking of you as you go forward.