I really like this guy we're such good friends and there is always like that childish flirting and teasing. But the problem is that he is 5 years older then me but that's not the problem . The problem is that he has a girlfriend. And yesterday we went out like as friends( with the group and stuff not on a date or anything) and we were like actually going to kiss but I just felt so guilty that we didn't and I don't know what to do uhh its so frustrating. But I really do like him cause we like fit perfectly together :/ what should I do?

I think this guy should really watch what he is doing. He has a girlfriend and a really close friend on the other. If he has feelings for you then he should probably talk to his girlfriend first and she what she has to say then tell you the result. Don't try to do anything that would cause them to break up because that wouldn't be smart and then later on the girl would come back and try to start something about you and ruin your life. So becareful in your actions OK.

I think this guy should really watch what he is doing. He has a girlfriend and a really close friend on the other. If he has feelings for you then he should probably talk to his girlfriend first and she what she has to say then tell you the result. Dont try to do anything that would cause them to break up because that wouldnt be smart and then later on the girl would come back and try to start something about you and ruin your life. So becareful in your actions ok.

I know cause I know that he has some feelings for me but I don't want him to break up with his girlfriend because of me. It just doesn't sound right :/

Nothing.

He has a girlfriend he is off limits!

Could I ask what age you are?

Leave him alone.

What if you were his girlfriend and he was out kissing other girls? He doesn't care about his girlfriend's feelings, why would he care about yours?

Girlfriend = Off limits.

nothing.

he has a girlfriend he is off limits!

could i ask what age you are?

I'm 16. I know I know your going to jump all over me saying your way to young and a lot of stuff but I know that I'm sort of young to be with him but that isn't the issue it's that I really like him cause he's such a great friend and we do have chemistry :/ and I'm always thinking about him and I need to forget him because I know that he is offlimits that's why I didn't kiss him.

I don't even care about the age gap in this case because him having a girlfriend makes him completely off limits already.

OK, but he does have a girlfriend,however well you both get on.

I understand you like him,but he's 21,and attached.

How about guys closer to your own age?
Do you like any of them.

And just as an aside,you may see him as a nice guy,but he has no business flirting or leaning in for a kiss with you,he could get into a lot of trouble if it developed,not just with his current girlfriend,with the law too.

Stay away from him.

ok, but he does have a girlfriend,however well you both get on.

i understand you like him,but he's 21,and attached.

how about guys closer to your own age?
do you like any of them.

and just as an aside,you may see him as a nice guy,but he has no business flirting or leaning in for a kiss with you,he could get into a lot of trouble if it developed,not just with his current girlfriend,with with the law too.

stay away from him.

I know I know. I don't want to be judged cause most of u are judging me :/ and I know that its wrong like I said before about his girlfriend. Yea there are other guys that like me and are cute but uhh I want him :/ I think its because I know I can't have him for so many reasons but I still want him its just the way I am =/

Who has judged you? Every post that I have seen like yours, someone who likes or loves someone who is taken gets the same response. If the person you want to be with is taken, they are off limits. I don't care if you are 16 or 89. It's good in this situation that he is taken because as red has already pointed out, he should not be flirting or leaning in for kisses because there is too much of an age gap and if it goes beyond flirting he could find himself in some serious legal trouble.

Maybe you are feeling judged because you're not getting an answer that you like. But that's nothing personal. That's just the way things go. It's not right for you, or anyone else, to pursue a relationship with someone who already has a significant other.

who has judged you? every post that i have seen like yours, someone who likes or loves someone who is taken gets the same response. if the person you want to be with is taken, they are off limits. i don't care if you are 16 or 89. it's good in this situation that he is taken because as red has already pointed out, he should not be flirting or leaning in for kisses because their is too much of an age gap and if it goes beyond flirting he could find himself in some serious legal trouble.

maybe you are feeling judged because you're not getting an answer that you like. but that's nothing personal. that's just the way things go. it's not right for you, or anyone else, to pursue a relationship with someone who already has a significant other.

I know! I know what I'm doing wrong and I know tis ilegal and all that stuff and I even know that he is taken and if I didn't care about his girlfriend I would have kissed him but I didn't and yes you are judging me and yes I don't like the answers but I'm accepting them but you shouldn't be so sort of mean but like your mad with me cause I'm really not doing anything wrong.

You're a minor, he's not. I'm only 3 years older than you, and I'm telling you- there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Everything everyone has said is correct- you need to stay away from him- because he's an adult and you're a teenager- and because he already has a woman in his life. The best thing you can do from him is to RESPECT him AND his girlfriend. Leave them alone.

Wow. You are turning this into something way more than it is. I'm not mad at you. And I haven't sensed that anyone else was either. And I'm not judging you. I've had crushes on guys with girlfriends before. I've done much more than just have a crush, and what I've learned is that it's wrong. Plain and simple.
But you asked what you should do. And the advice is that you should do nothing. That's good that you didn't kiss him.
What are you reading that you believe is mean?
You're going from saying that what you're doing is wrong and illegal (as long as no one is acting on these thoughts and desires I don't really see them as wrong), and then defending yourself (from your own accusations) saying that you're not really doing anything wrong. You're starting to confuse me.

You're a minor, he's not. I'm only 3 years older than you, and I'm telling you- there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Everything everyone has said is correct- you need to stay away from him- because he's an adult and you're a teenager- and because he already has a woman in his life. The best thing you can do from him is to RESPECT him AND his girlfriend. Leave them alone.

Yea I know :/ I'm trying too.

wow. you are turning this into something way more than it is. i'm not mad at you. and i haven't sensed that anyone else was either. and i'm not judging you. i've had crushes on guys with girlfriends before. i've done much more than just have a crush, and what i've learned is that it's wrong. plain and simple.
but you asked what you should do. and the advice is that you should do nothing. that's good that you didn't kiss him.
what are you reading that you believe is mean?
you're going from saying that what you're doing is wrong and illegal (as long as no one is acting on these thoughts and desires i don't really see them as wrong), and then defending yourself (from your own accusations) saying that you're not really doing anything wrong. you're starting to confuse me.

I know. I'm sorry. I'm quite confusing and confused. I know its stupid and its useless and uhh I don't know its frustrating. I'm sorry.

I understand it's frustrating. And you can vent here all you need to. Just as long as it's venting and not taking your frustration out on us. :)

i understand it's frustrating. and you can vent here all you need to. just as long as it's venting and not taking your frustration out on us. :)

Thanks :)

I think you know what the answer is to this question is.
By not kissing him, you made the right choice because you knew it was wrong. Kudos, not a lot of young girls your age can say that they have had that sort of will power.

That being said, HE is in the wrong, for reasons that have already been mentioned.
If this guy really likes you, then he will wait until you are of legal age, and neither one of you are dating someone. If he can't wait, I have a strong feeling that he will take advantage of you. I'm only saying this because I don't want to hear that you've gotten hurt because he's tricked oyu in some way.
Be smarter than this guy, most will say anything if they feel like they have something to gain from it. Some just lie because they know they can get away with it. We don't want him to hurt you.

Be careful.
I'd stop hanging out with him, and start spending time with people my own age. It's safer and you can relate better.

I have younger guy friends that I talk to on occasion, but I would NEVER ever try to date them. Not only because they are younger than me, I have a boyfriend. I think of them all like little brothers or cousins.

Wishes- you're only 16, you have PLENTY of time, there's no need to rush. I had my first kiss last August when I was 18, I was over a year into a relationship, and 4 years into a friendship and guess what... he's my one and only and now we're engaged. I waited and ended up with an awesome man. And I'm not an old lady, I'm only 19- but we both know where we're going in life. Who knew?

Wishes- you're only 16, you have PLENTY of time, there's no need to rush. I had my first kiss last August when I was 18, I was over a year into a relationship, and 4 years into a friendship and guess what.....he's my one and only and now we're engaged. I waited and ended up with an awesome man. And I'm not an old lady, i'm only 19- but we both know where we're going in life. Who knew?!

That's awesome! :) Great for you! Best of luck!

I think you know what the answer is to this question is.
By not kissing him, you made the right choice because you knew it was wrong. Kudos, not a lot of young girls your age can say that they have had that sort of will power.

That being said, HE is in the wrong, for reasons that have already been mentioned.
If this guy really likes you, then he will wait untill you are of legal age, and neither one of you are dating someone. If he can't wait, I have a strong feeling that he will take advantage of you. I'm only saying this becuase I don't want to hear that you've gotten hurt because he's tricked oyu in some way.
Be smarter than this guy, most will say anything if they feel like they have something to gain from it. Some just lie because they know they can get away with it. We don't want him to hurt you.

Be careful.
I'd stop hanging out with him, and start spending time with people my own age. It's safer and you can relate better.

I have younger guy friends that I talk to on occasion, but I would NEVER ever try to date them. Not only because they are younger than me, I have a boyfriend. I think of them all like little brothers or cousins.

oh no I hang out with people of my age dw about that :) but thanks a lot ^^

If this guy has a girl and he's doing what he's doing with you what makes you think there's any chance of you too working out, I think you should go and find your own man. He might be flirting now but are u 100% when it comes down to it he's going to choose u?

Don't help this guy cheat.

Don't help this guy cheat.

I'm not :)

You need to start with telling your friend how you feel.

He might say that he has feelings for you too. If so then you want to make sure he thinks about it and talks to his girl friend, because he might have feelings for both of you and with you it might not be as serious as his current girls friend.
[QUOTE=wishes;1993508]there is always like that childish flirting and teasing.[QUOTE] He might see more of a future with her and with you he might see more of a short term relationship that is just based on cute little flirting.

On the other hand he might say that he doesn't feel the same and that he just wants to stay friends. I know from experience that this might make it awkward for a little bit because he now knows how you feel. Then you have 2 choices... A.) Act like nothing has changed [the easy choice] or B.) Talk to him about it, tell him that the way he acts led you to believing that he had feelings for you. [Takes a little more courage but can help smooth things out]

Hope I helped!

Crazlife, that is awful advice. Did you not read anything? She's a minor! He's not! You're encouraging something that could very easily lead to illegal behavior. And he's taken already anyway!

You need to start with telling your friend how you feel.

He might say that he has feelings for you too. If so then you want to make sure he thinks about it and talks to his girl friend, because he might have feelings for both of you and with you it might not be as serious as his current girls friend.
[QUOTE=wishes;1993508]there is always like that childish flirting and teasing.[QUOTE] He might see more of a future with her and with you he might see more of a short term relationship that is just based on cute little flirting.

On the other hand he might say that he doesn't feel the same and that he just wants to stay friends. I know from experience that this might make it awkward for a little bit because he now knows how you feel. Then you have 2 choices... A.) Act like nothing has changed [the easy choice] or B.) Talk to him about it, tell him that the way he acts led you to believing that he had feelings for you. [Takes a little more courage but can help smooth things out]

Hope I helped!

This is very bad advice. You're not helping her.

crazlife, that is awful advice. did you not read anything? she's a minor! he's not! you're encouraging something that could very easily lead to illegal behavior. and he's taken already anyways!

Oh, I'm sorry. I must have misread something. Calm down. I would have to say you are correct. I think that in that case you (Wishes) most likely don't REALLY like him. It's just a little crush.

Yeah, I would agree with the rest. Not a good idea to take this relationship any further than a friendship.

Why?
1. He's taken
2. Physical relations with each other may be illegal in your area
3. He doesn't sound like such a great guy... After all, he is trying to cheat on his current girlfriend. IF you two ever have a relationship (which I strongly recommend against), how do you know he is going to be faithful? If he is willing to cheat on her, how do you know he won't cheat on you?

Another thing you have to be careful about with older guys is that they make not like you the way you think they do. I have seen it a couple times, where the older guy thinks of the younger girl as a little sister, or something of that sort, and the girl takes it the wrong way. An embarrassing situation to say the least.

And... I learned this not too long ago too:
It is completely normal for a young girl to like an older guy. They're mature, smart, independent, etc. HOWEVER, an older guy liking a girl that young (21 liking a 16) is a little weird. I'm just suggesting it's a possibility, because I don't know him, nor do I know you. A similar situation happened to a close friend of mine, and there were endless problems with this guy.

So, he may be a great friend. But in my opinion, that is as far as it should go.

Good luck, and let us know what you decide to do

i really like this guy we're such good friends and there is always like that childish flirting and teasing. but the problem is that he is 5 years older then me but thats not the problem . the problem is that he has a girlfriend. and yesterday we went out like as friends( with the group and stuff not on a date or anything) and we were like actually going to kiss but i just felt so guilty that we didnt and i dont know wat to do uhh its so frustrating. but i really do like him cause we like fit perfectly together :/ what should i do?
I think if you really love him and you two fit perfictly together you should not le his girlfriend in the way just start hanging out more together and flirt with hm just a little more than he does and fverything will fall and to place just rememeber this Quote (If you love some body never give up... and fate will always find a way)

I think if you really love him and you two fit perfictly together you should not le his gf in the way just start hanging out more together and flirt with hm just a little more than he does and fverything will fall n to place just rememeber this Quote (If you love some body never give up.... and fate will always find a way)




You are ridiculous. And I'm sure you're young.

That's what we'd like to call "selfish thinking"
Did you know that when someone does something, it always affects another person?

First of all, it's NOT LEGAL, she is ONLY 16, and he is 21! (Did you not read the entire discussion?) He could go to JAIL!

Second, This girlfriend, she has feelings. They matter.

You need to read the whole thread before you just start spouting off wrong advice.

Please, no more naïve advice.