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View Full Version : Had a baby by a older guy who didn't tell me he was maarried


pumpmkinpie
Sep 21, 2009, 11:11 PM
Hello folks, I am in desperate need of help here. I am a 23 year old female who had sex with a 42 year old male one time umprotected. 9 weeks later I found out that I was pregnant . The only problem is that when I had sex with him my current boyfriend and I were separated and I got back with him about 1 month after having sex with the older guy. I didn't know if my baby was for my boy or the other guy. So I kept my baby only because I was diagnosed wit poly cysitc ovarian syndrome had one ovary and tube removed and was told I would probably never get pregnant without invitro fertilization. I had my baby she's now 5 months and she's for the older guy who informed me that he was married once he discovered I was pregnant. He never wore a ring or mentioned anything about his family. Now I have told my boy that he's not the father and thankfully he's still with me. The older guy does take care of her though, he gives me 400.00/ mo. But I feel so stupid because my baby never see him, his wife doesn't know, and he sometimes act like we don't exist. I do have feelings for him but I don't know what to do should I force him to tell his wife? Is it fair to me and my baby ? By the way my baby has my boyfriends last name! Yes he signed her certificate because he thought she look just like me but that's because he never saw her father. Is 400./mo enough or would I get more from child support if I change her last name? I am a junior in college and this whole ordeal is wrecking my brain

dipti jain
Sep 21, 2009, 11:47 PM
Now I have told my boy that he's not the father and thankfully he's still with me.

I am not getting, why are you running behind that older guy, When he came to u for his requirements and dumped you when you were pregnant.

Where as in your life you have someone who even after knowing that you have baby of some one else, love you, live with you and given his name to your daughter.

What do you want?

A really loving and caring life partner or a stupid mean middle aged man who is taking benefits of you.

Basically here he is not totally at fault because you too went to him when you broke
Up with your boy friend. Both of you used each other.

When he didn't given name to your baby then you should take a wise decision and continue with your boy friend who really cares you. If he didn't then the moment you told him. He is not the father, he would have left you.

Already you betrayed him once, now stop thinking about that older guy and start a new life with your boy friend and your baby. If you will run behind that guy your daughter will be the suffer because, she will never get love of father which your boy fried can give her.

dipti jain
Sep 21, 2009, 11:51 PM
And what your saying, that the older guy take care of her, he give you something to take care of her?

In my opinion he is not worried about the daughter, he is paying you so, so you should feel he is taking care and keep your mouth shut. He never see her means he won't care for her.